Our empty nest is being invaded. Mollie has three days off next week. But all her teachers cancelled classes on Tuesday too, and then all but one cancelled for Monday. Sooo… since she hasn’t missed any classes so far this semester she wants to come home on Friday. WHAT! Someone else living here for 10 days!! You know I’m mostly kidding, I do love my baby! But she has been home several weekends lately. One weekend was a party, the next she had a couple of babysitting jobs. I wouldn’t mind a weekend with just Nick.
Last weekend while Mollie was working Nick offered me an afternoon for play and reward. And I turned him down. I felt bad about that. Guilty. In the old days, I would have just said yes. But I wouldn’t have been a real participant. I was so busy hiding my hiding my true self from Nick that I wasn’t much of a wife to him. Now when I am out of it like I feel this week I don’t want to give him less than my best. I hate this blank feeling. I’m okay. I’m already feeling better, but I still feel blah, not interested in spanking, not interested in sex, not interested in even doing much reading and writing. Not interested and not interesting. Blah, blah, blah…
But at the same time I’m not feeling bad, not depressed, not mad, not sad… I’ll be perking up soon. I get three days off next week too. If Mollie can help me do some cleaning this weekend maybe I can spend some time writing Wednesday. Writing, when I really have time to into it to it, is one sure thing to make me feel better. Here’s hoping!
Last weekend while Mollie was working Nick offered me an afternoon for play and reward. And I turned him down. I felt bad about that. Guilty. In the old days, I would have just said yes. But I wouldn’t have been a real participant. I was so busy hiding my hiding my true self from Nick that I wasn’t much of a wife to him. Now when I am out of it like I feel this week I don’t want to give him less than my best. I hate this blank feeling. I’m okay. I’m already feeling better, but I still feel blah, not interested in spanking, not interested in sex, not interested in even doing much reading and writing. Not interested and not interesting. Blah, blah, blah…
But at the same time I’m not feeling bad, not depressed, not mad, not sad… I’ll be perking up soon. I get three days off next week too. If Mollie can help me do some cleaning this weekend maybe I can spend some time writing Wednesday. Writing, when I really have time to into it to it, is one sure thing to make me feel better. Here’s hoping!
PK, we all get feelings like these,
ReplyDeleteit will pass.
And next time Nick offers, don't pass, silly girl.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Yes Paul's right we all feel like that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI hope you told/emailed Nick to let him know how you were feeling.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Oh can I relate here! I think its just one of those things us women and probably men go through sometimes.. I get into these funks too and seriously sometimes there isn't enough coffee to snap me out of it.
ReplyDeleteI think I sometimes confuse the crap out of Craig when I am all spank me love me one week and the next I'm like really just give me some space... lol. We are women! Don't feel bad for being or feeling what you do, at least you are being honest about how and what you are feeling. I think that is 80% of the battle. :-)
Good luck this week and I hope Molly's visit at least helps you get your house cleaned :-)
Hugs,
Audra
I hope you enjoy Mollie's visit and it will probably make you appreciate that empty nest when she goes back to school. Maybe by then you will feel like playing again.
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteI guess it wasn't too smart. We make up for it today.
Ronnie,
I did let him know. It wasn't a big deal.
Audra,
I have no doubt we confuse the hell out of our men because often I confuse the hell out of me! But I am getting better at letting him know things - still usually by email but whatever, it works.
Faerie,
I really do enjoy Mollie being here. And I'm sure we'll be playing more soon.
Ohh PK i hope you are feeling better and get time to write :D enjoy the weekend with Molly and next time - i agree with paul - dont pass!!! :D
ReplyDeletelove and hugs kiwi xxx