I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Little bubbles

This is a week when a lot of things are swirling around me – getting over the reunion, waiting to hear what my cousin thinks of my writing, starting back to work and Mollie moving out, lots and lots on my mind. But, as always, dancing in my mind is the general topic of this blog. Always overshadowing TTWD has been the time and privacy restraints. Now we’ll have both. So I have to wonder, what will happen?

I still don’t expect Nick to want a DD marriage. I’ve realized I don’t. But for a week or so Nick has been saying little things. He’s reminded me twice that there will consequences for not meeting my weight goal before the reunion. He grabbed me in the kitchen one day and used our new ouchie spatula – and I mean, used it until I felt it! He said that was only a down payment because Mollie was on her way home.

There have been lots of ups and downs in our journey through TTWD. I think, over time, I've changed what I really want to more realistic expectations than I had originally. I still want this lifestyle but I want something that works for Nick and me. If there are any ruled that matter to Nick I hope he’ll share them with me. I like the idea. I’ll never be totally submissive but there are things about myself that I need to change and that I want to change. Some of these relate to taking better care of myself and other are as mundane as housekeeping chores I should do better. These are things I know I should take care of myself but I’ve never really made myself. Will Nick?

I don’t know. I’ve tried not to get my hopes up too much. I mean, I have an optimistic attitude and Nick has done several things that make me hopeful, but I’ve been disappointed before. Often Nick really had no idea what I was wanting, maybe I didn’t know either. I think we have a good chance now. There are little bubbles of excitement rising in me and they sure do feel good.


  1. PK: Great to hear you feel those little bubbles of excitement rising in you and let's hope your husband decides that now that you have the empty nest, it is time for him to take charge and make you accountable for things like meeting your weight goals and taking care of yourself.

    Good luck and I hope he does enough keep those bubbles rising.

    I'm sure it will be easier for you not to snack if you know there will be consequenes if you do.

    Good luck.


  2. PK, as we grow older we learn to tailor our needs to fit our circumstances, so baby steps dear girl.
    I hope that the empty nest enables you both to fill you needs.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. Love the post title! I am excited for you, PK, and looking forward to seeing him step it WAY up!

  4. I really dont think that DD or TTWD is a one size fits all....its tailor made and you have to tailor make it to fit yourself and Nick.
    He is showing really promise of stepping up - and I for one cannot wait to read more about it - and im waiting for the post from you that is called "be careful what you wish for" hehehehe...
    I can feel the bubbles of excitement for you too :)
    love and huge hugs xxx

  5. P.S. all good things come to those who wait
    ;) xx

  6. FD,
    I hope something like that happens but sometimes I'm scared to hope.

    I've certainly thought about it enough. I hope we can begin on something that will fit our needs.

    Please just keep your fingers crossed.

    I sure hope you have something to read soon! I've waited, lets see what happens.

  7. It sounds good and promising PK and I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

    Now maybe I should go and find you a nice leather something I think Nick will like:)


  8. Ronnie,
    Anything would be better than that cane!

  9. I like that you are being realistic and accepting your husband for who he is, whatever he decides. Good job, PK. That's a great attitude and I'm sure he just loves you and wants to please you.