I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The first email about spanking

Well I posted my very first communication to Nick here, so if you haven’t read it you might want to start here. Let me set this up for you. I was about 43. At the time I wrote this Nick and I had been married for 17 years and I had been pretty much indifferent to sex the entire time. We did not ever talk about sex. In fact we rarely talk about anything other than the kids, what to have for supper and what was happening at work, room mate stuff.

So pretty much out of the blue Nick gets that first email quickly followed by this one. The parts in red I have inserted now.

I've kept these fantasies to myself for so long it’s hard to get them down. I think I told you long ago that sometimes the idea of being spanked was a turn on but I really didn't want to act on this. I didn't want you to think that I was so very strange. On and off through the years the idea has popped up. I didn't want to evolve you in this strangeness so I would fantasize about some faceless stranger. It wasn't great. To make a long story short I finally realized that you were the only one that I wanted to fantasize about. You can't imagine how nice it was. Even for a dummy like me I finally realized that we lived together, I didn't have to just fantasize if I could get up the nerve to actually let you know what I was thinking and you agreed to try some of my ideas. I do sometimes wonder where these ideas came from originally. I've had it since I was young. I finally stopped thinking that it was so strange but I realize that it may take you a bit of time.

One more bit of information and I'll get to my actual fantasy. The reason that I want both of us to be someone else is that no woman in her right mind, even me, would allow her husband to hit her at all. And I know that you wouldn't. But some times the way someone is raised hangs on. It's much better than in the old days but "good girls" still have ideas of things that they should like and those that they shouldn't enjoy. (That is nice, women didn’t really like sex. It was something you had to do to have children. No I wasn’t really taught that but somewhere deep down I felt that way) Something about this fantasy seems to free me up. I'm no longer in charge. I'm not doing anything -- he's making me. It may be crazy but for me its sooooo freeing!

Alright here goes. Liz can sometimes really piss her friend off. He is a pretty easy going guy but enough is enough. (I don't know what all he's mad about but it doesn't matter) Anyway he has decided that the time has come to take control of the situation and give Liz the spanking that she deserves. He lets her know of his decision by e-mail or something some days before it going to happen (if he knows when he going to be able to, since they don't exactly live alone, anyway...) and the fact that there is nothing that she can do to change his mind.

When the time comes he has a lot of things to decide, where this will take place, will she be across his knee or on the bed, will he let her wear anything or not (maybe he will let her this first time, but if they want to continue getting together occasionally he may change his mind). His attitude is kinda important, he serious – not necessarily real mad but like its something that he feels he needs to do. Liz may not go along once she gets across his knee and she'll probably tell him no and to stop, but too bad for her, he might tell her that she's been asking for this. (funny, right) My guess is that he would start off with about ten licks with a paddle (there is one around somewhere) and then he would ask if she had learned her lesson and was she ready to do as she was told. She will either say yes or no. If she says no she's not ready to do as she's told then he paddles her some more. Soon she'll get the idea and she will agree to do whatever he says.

I think that you'll like this next part. When she agrees, she means it. She will do whatever you say. Anything, any position, anywhere for as long as you say. (OK one thing that scares her a bit is anal intercourse; a little gentle play wouldn't scare her and who knows for the future.) *note here. That was one thing that held me back from saying anything for a while. I suspected, thought, okay knew that I was probably anal erotic but I was flat scared to try it. I knew that this was something that Nick wanted to try but I had always refused. I wanted to let him know that at that time it was one of my limits. I was not ready to go there. By telling him, and by him completely respecting my feelings, I became more and more willing to trust him with things I did want to try. Since that time our trust has grown as has my willingness to try new things and test my limits. Anal sex is now something I truly enjoy but I still need to be very much in the right mood. Now that we do talk and trust I don’t think there is anything we are unwilling to at least try if the other asks.)

So what you have here is someone willing to let you do anything and is willing to do anything for you. Should she seem reluctant at any time the paddle is always handy for a quick reminder. I know that this isn't for every time we make love but if you are willing to try and like it then many, many ideas are possible. Sometimes he might tease her and make her work for what she wants, other times he can lay back and have any thing that he can think of. Some times he might just make her lay there and wait while he goes and drink a beer, ordering her to keep still, if she hasn't well...

Other ideas might be that he would tell her what to wear when he is planning to spank her. Certain underwear, whatever. You can tell that Liz has been thinking about this longer than her friend. But there is no rush to all this, whenever he is ready and they can get some privacy. A few days notice is great to allow a gal to get in the mood, but that’s not always possible.

If you think that Liz is the only one with these ideas it’s not true. She looked around a bit on the internet (never joining anything, just looking at a few free sites) some are awful but a lot of them have sensuous story and pictures. I know that the few stories she read seem to overestimate the duration of the spanking itself. If you're interested in seeing for yourself just search under spanking. The ideas they expound are not mine, but it did give me the courage to write this epistle.

Don't feel pressured to respond at once (esp. if your answer is "no way") just think about it and get comfortable with the ideas and drop Liz a line sometime. E-mail is a good way to ask her questions or for clarification.

I love you.

So here was our very, very beginning. Finally after 19 year I had taken the leap of faith that Nick would at least try to understand. He did – this is the email I got from Nick.

Its Sat. morn and I rushed downstairs to read mail. Wow! Are you sure I’m talking to my real wife or her impostor twin.

My mind is going a little faster than my fingers right now, but you've giving me a load to consider. As kinky as some of this may sound to you, it probably doesn't score very high on the internet scale in general or the Gene (our kinkiest real life friend of ours) scale in particular.

Timing might me a little tricky, particularly trying to allow time for anticipation. Another caution, we may find that any particular fantasy's benefit is greater in the dreaming, and formulating stages than in execution. (He really thought that even if I liked fantasying about spanking I might not like it in real life - LOL! Little did he know!) But that can only be known by a little testing.

More thoughts later.


And later that week I got the following email from him.

Yes you've aroused my curiosity, etc. Especially my etc.

I wouldn't want to inhibit your passion, not if Sat. is an indication of your potential.
As for an alter ego, I don't know. We'll see.

Sometime we can set up private address and go from there with your additional info!

With anticipation.


So this was our beginning. It didn't last then but it did lay the ground work for what happened 6 years later and continues until today. We learned to trust each other, we learned to enjoy each other and we began talking. That is the best thing - we are still communicating.


  1. Anonymous3:17 AM

    Thats always the key isn't it.....communciation. Finding and giving Nick that key was the most amazing present you could ever have given you both.

    love and hugs xxx

  2. How's Mollie today PK?

    Communication can be so hard but
    that was an inspiration to write to Nick and very happy that it worked out so well for both of you.
    I am so glad you shared this with us PK.

    Thank you.

  3. Anonymous9:50 AM

    Hi PK:
    Everytime I read a post of yours, I have such a feeling of gratitude for having "met" you.
    You have such a gracious and loving way of communicating, your e-mail to your husband was so caring and creative, and you even so graciously left him a way out if he was so inclined. Your idea of a fantasy couple was a great idea for some one to ease into the spanko world.
    Your husband was so excited to get these e-mails from you...that must have been so much fun. I loved reading his e-mail to you. I hope that you share more of your "Beginning" journey with your husband.
    Take care

  4. "no woman in her right mind, even me, would allow her husband to hit her at all"

    I new from an early age that spankings interested me, but it took me along time to ever say anything to my husband because I had the same mindset as what you said. The whole a real man doesn't hit a woman thing was taught at a young age. It took awhile to realise there is a BIG difference in abuse and spanking in a conseual relationship. And at the begining of our spanking realationship he was reluctant to try it for the same reasons, but once he saw the benefits from it he was more than willing to continue.

    Sorry to ramble

  5. This is so wonderful. I love hearing about your relationship and so fun to hear about your beginnings. Communication is so important and can only make the bond stronger. In my own relationship we are still in a phase of going two steps forward one step back...I sometimes think it is the timing of sharing my secret when we have two little ones that occupy our every time and thought; however, I am still so glad I shared. We have grown closer and I fell in love all over. We still have to keep working at it as we often relapse into what we were (which was great - its just that now it is better.) I discovered that not only do I enjoy the connection and intimacy of making love...I enjoy SEX. There I said it. (Still afraid to admit that I think I am anally erotic) Anyway sorry for babbling on and on... I guess I just wanted to share to say thank-you because you and your stories of your relationship inspire me. So thanks for sharing. Hugs! :-)

  6. "Yes you've aroused my curiosity, etc. Especially my etc."

    Oh that Nick, what a great sense of humor he has!

    It took becoming single to finally come out of my sexless shell. It's so cool that you were able to do it with someone who loves you and has known you for such a long time.

    And yeah, um, anal erotic... WooHoo, me too!! I think it rather goes hand in hand with the other stuff we enjoy.


  7. M:e,
    Yes it was a gift to us both. And this gift just keeps on giving.

    Thanks Ronnie, Mollie is doing alright.

    I think it's still easier to communicate with Nick by email when I have something important to tell him.

    The people I have met here also helped me become comfortable with myself. I am so happy you are feeling comfortable too.

    We had fun being 'other' people at first. It was even better the second time around when we were more ourselves.

    I think we have a lot in common and I think our husbands are similar too. Nick certainly had the 'you don't hit girls' feelings. He did it for me, even when he was unconfortable he did it because he realized I was serious about wanting it. Glad that he is really with the program now!!

    Just remember that you will be married a long time. Spanking is not easy when you have little ones but even if it is not there yet you have shared yourself and made such improvements in your marriage.

    Now as for the anal erotic I agree with CeeCi I think that often goes hand and hand with spanking. Don't be afraid to begin exploring.

    I got so very lucky! Nick stuck with me for a long time when we were not connected at all but was so opened to the change.

    He is funny. He told me that after that first email he had a hard on for a week! LOL!

  8. Anonymous12:21 AM


    I smiled all the way through reading. Thanks so much for sharing. I remember the first time I asked hubby just to hold my hands over my head while making love. It took me another 10 for ask for spanking!! I appreciate how brave it was for you. And I love how wonderfully you explained how he felt in your fantasy. Hmmm nothing like that calm alpha male whose goal is to keep you on track.

    CeeCi, you beat me to it! I'd love to see a bumper sticker out there "especially my etc." it's a perfect line even if you don't know its origin.


  9. Anonymous12:42 AM

    PK, thanks for sharing this with us. It is heartwarming to read of those first tentative steps and where they lead you.