I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, February 07, 2009

The very beginning

I just came across a true blast from the past and I thought you guys enjoy reading it. Some of you that have been reading here for a long time might remember that I began my blog in July of 2006. That was shortly after I had found blogs but we had actually dabbled in spanking just a little before that. We had been married for 17 years and our kids were 12 and 8.

We had just gotten a new computer and put it in the basement. I finally had a tiny bit of privacy for looking around and I typed in spanking. I didn’t find any blogs at that time but I found some stories and a few pictures – enough to really push my spanko mind into over drive. Was this really me? Fairly suddenly I went from zero interest in sex to … let me put this delicately – horny!

So with a good mixture of fear and longing I wrote the following email to Nick. Picture as you read what must have been going through Nick’s mind. This poor man whose wife generally ignored him, whose lack of interest in sex meant ‘good ‘ol man on top, woman on bottom get it over with quick’ sex maybe once a month. NO experimenting, no kink, nothing. Then out of the blue he gets the following email

August 14, 2000

I cannot believe that I am sending this E-mail; at least I'm writing it I'm not sure I'll ever send it. Don't worry I think you'll like it but its taken me 17 years to be able to write it. It may take another 20 before I could say it face to face. Would you be interested in hearing about and perhaps indulging me in some sexual games that keep roaming around in my brain? Nothing elaborate but it would involve a bit of role playing and I'm not sure that that is really your style. But if you're willing to try once we don't have to do any more if you don't like it.

I just want to be sure that these games stay completely out of our real life, at least for now. In other words when we play I want to be someone else. An alter-ego so to speak someone who is no ones mother, teacher or daughter. In other words you won't be acting these things out with me, your wife. Instead this man (you get to pick your alter-ego’s name) and a women we'll call Liz, will be doing all this. If you think that I have gone off the deep end -- you may be right. If you want me to stop this silliness and get back to normal just e-mail me back and tell me to forget it. I promise I won't bring it up again. But if you are interested the only thing you have to do at this time is to e-mail me to send you more information and sign it with your made up name. Then just check your mail once in a while. Remember anticipation is part of the game!

Your loving wife.

Well do you think that would have gotten his attention? And did you notice, I still hadn't even gotten up the nerve to mention spanking!

LOL! It did get his attention,but he hardly knew what to say. This was his entire return email (trust me they got much better soon)

Remember that my mail is not password protected when you're sending additional info.

I found my next email too. I’ll post it soon. But this was the very, very beginning. It didn’t completely last at that time. Too much going on in real life, kids to care for, parents to care for, two careers to deal with and no internet friends to share it all with – to talk with me, to encourage me, to help me feel normal. But it did show me that we really did love each other and when life presented the opportunity again a few years later we grabbed it and the rest is history!


  1. Anonymous5:48 PM

    Fascinating......I can almost feel your pulse racing as you were typing that email and waiting for his response!!

    love and hugs xxx

  2. and aren't you glad you sent it!

  3. Hi Sis...thought i would check in and let you know i was still alive.I'm sure Nick is very happy to have recieved that email. It certainly changed your life. Off to bed..early work day. Hugs.

  4. M:e you are right there I was scared to death!!

    You better believe it!

    So glad you are feeling better! Yep Nick was a pretty happy man.

  5. ohhhhhhhhhh... that was so very brave... I don't know if I would have dared to take a step like that... but yes, I can see were this was a new beginning for you both... and I think in a way it saved the both of you...

    hugs, lessa

  6. It's great that you posted how you started and how scary it was for you because it may be an inspiration to other women who are looking for information because they're struggling to tell their husbands or significant others that they want to join the spanko world.

  7. I think that was brave indeed PK
    and Florida Dom's right you sharing this may just give some other women the encouragement they need to speak with their partners.

    Thanks PK.

  8. PK,

    If intimate married life was really once a month close your eyes and think of [insert appropriate reference here] then I can only assume Nick was OVERJOYED!

    My husband wouldn't have appreciated the mention of role-playing so you took a risk there, but hey, he replied!

    I can't wait for the next installment.


  9. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Hi PK:
    That was a great e-mail to send. Beautifully written, and you gave him a very gracefull way to bow out if he was so inclined. I am looking forward to seeing your next e-mail...I would also be curious to see his reponse to your first e-mail.
    And Florida Dom's point is also excellent, it might just give someone a great example.
    Take care

  10. Hey Liz~

    What an inspiration, for you and for anyone who may encounter this post in the future. It took a whole lot of courage for you to acknowledge that you wanted your marriage to change, put your thoughts together, and then hit the 'send' button.

    You're amazing!!


  11. Lessa,
    I don't know what gave me the courage to do it at that time but oh, I am so glad I did. It was a wonderful change.

    Florida Dom,
    I hope you are right. I do want women know that it IS worth the risk!!

    I hope that is what we are all doing now. Showing women that if the idea of spanking has been swirling around in there head, they are not alone!

    Yep I would say the man was pretty happy! The whole thing was very, very scary but I just jumped.

    His first response wasn't much but a few of the next ones were right on the mark!

    I knew I wanted a change. For year I had wanted to want sex, but I just didn't. I think finally acknowledging to myself that spanking was the biggest turn on I had ever thought of, and finally letting Nick in on the secret, was the key to everything.

  12. I am sure you are both glad you sent that email...and yes, what a wonderful inspiration to others... :-)

  13. Anonymous11:28 PM

    PK, this is just gorgeous and so kind of you to post. I can read the fear and anxiety. What if he rejects it? What if he doesn't understand?

    So sweet and his reply is priceless. Still, it must have been a bit of a bombshell for Nick at the time.

    Well done, both of you.