Discussing spanking with a vanilla, part 2

If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, you might want to do that. You can find it here. I enjoyed talking with Eddie. I certainly had no desire to try and change his mind. But I did enjoy trying to explain a little of what we do, what we want. I didn’t really go in depth in my explanation, I just tried to show our side of the paddle, so to speak. It was a good discussion.

PK, I hope you don’t think I would have had a ugly reaction if you had told me about your enjoyment of spankings. That is totally up to you and what goes on behind closed doors is none of my business. I hope I didn’t give you the wrong ideal about my reaction to your book. 

I still feel that using spanking to control one life is not my cup of tea. Often in your book you referred to this as punishment for activities that had taking place and those activities were about a person choice of action. To me there is a difference between something you enjoy and perhaps part of your sexual activity and something giving as punishment and controlling. 

I love your Cassie character, strong, sassy, and independent women. But to put it somewhat in your book, you should not be completely controlling all the things I want to do. At least at the end Tom said if you can’t beat them, join them. That made me see him looking at Cassie’s side. 

I guess one reason I’m very sensitive to this is my wife was slap, beaten, had a gun held to her head, and who knows what else took place. It took me years to get her to understand herself worth and what she had to offer to the world. This makes any kind of controlling seem bad to me. I do enjoy reading your books. I certainly do not consider what takes place between you and your husband any of my business. Forgive my writing skills, I was a PE and Social Studies major, not creative writing as you can tell. Best of luck on your future writing. 

 

 

Eddie, you are one of the kindest most understanding men I know. Though I would have never discussed it with you back in the day it wouldn't have been because I would have expected an ugly reaction. I guess I worries more from it being found out and everyone thinking – teacher/spanking... It could have been a very bad reaction from parents. I'm just so much more relaxed about it now that I'm retired. Though I still cringe when I come across a teacher/student spanking story - not for me!

 

It's easy to explain spanking as a slap and tickle foreplay idea. It’s much more complicated when you add in the ‘discipline’ side of it. That’s what they call my genre – domestic discipline. Some women are born craving this. Some just felt the urge after reading 50 Shades of Grey, but many, like me were born with this desire. I began making up stories in my head of this nature when I was about four. But I also grew up knowing instinctively that this desire would not be understood by others. So people like me stayed in the closet. As a child I was spanked occasionally, hated it! I always knew what I was thinking about was something totally different.

 

Most of my friends didn’t come out to their husbands until we were middle aged. We had to know that we could handle everything ourselves. I was doing it. Teaching full time, caring for my parents, looking after Nick and the kids and the house, working in the church and on and on. I knew I could do it all. What I wanted was a safe place to land – to have someone who would look after me, protect me, care for me, tell me what to do in some cases so I didn’t have to decide myself. And yes, someone who cared enough to use spanking when I didn’t listen at times. It’s certainly not for every woman, but it was what I’d wanted all my life.

 

When I did come out to Nick it was like magic – I actually had teachers on my hall ask me what I was on! One said they couldn’t have slapped the smile off my face with a 2x4. Of course, I never told her what was causing my joy. But while Nick was willing to try, he’s more like you. He was willing to play around with it, if that was what I wanted, but he could not get into it for real. And that’s been a disappoint for me. I’m not disappointed in him. It’s just that the lifestyle I dreamed of never happened.

 

The book that I’ve written that is the closest to me is Returning to Us that’s where I really let out all my frustrations. It’s just that my ending was different from the book.

 

I do understand your sensitive. Most of us knew at least a little of what your lovely wife went through before you. All of us who view ourselves as ‘spankos’ are well aware that many would view what we enjoy as abuse. It’s not – we believe in 100% consensual spanking in a loving relationship. Of course, in fiction the consent may seem dubious at times, but it’s there.

 

I have thoroughly enjoyed our exchange today! I am happy to see that you like and enjoy my books and that we have different views about an interesting topic, as friends often have!