I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Best post I've ever written

 I wrote this back in 2006 and I still adamantly stand by every word of it.

Gotta Rant

An email from a friend got me all stirred up about this topic so pardon me while I rant but I am just so mad. I want to know where the rest of the world gets off thinking that what we enjoy and the lifestyle we chose makes us some type of sicko that should not be accepted in polite society!

Many people enjoy massages; often they pay big bucks to have a stranger give them a massage. They talk about how good it felt and
how relax they felt afterwards. If their friends, family and colleagues have any thoughts on the matter most would think, “Yeah, a massage would be great.” I hate massages! Often people I barely know come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders. It hurts likes hell! I want to scream at them. If I say anything about not wanting them digging their digits into the muscles near my neck I get a strange look and something like “You don’t LIKE that? There must be something wrong with you! You're way too tense!”

I see people at the gym lifting weights so heavy they look as though they are going to tear a muscle. Runners and cyclist are taught to run or ride through the pain for the benefits on the other side. Huge men are paid bazillion dollars to slam into one another to get a ball moved down a field. All of these people are engaging in activities, by their own choice, that both hurt like hell and are activities that some others would never ever want to do. Yet they are considered normal. People will let them talk about what they enjoy doing and it’s even acceptable to encourage other to at least give it a try.

I enjoy being spanked. I love the sting, I love the afterglow, I love the achy soreness the next day, I love the feeling of release, I love

the emotional closeness I feel with my husband, I love everything about it! Spanking is good for my physical, mental and emotional well-being. I am not even encouraging others to try it. I am just saying it is a wonderful thing in my life.

So how come I would be the one to possible lose my job if my superiors were to discover that I blog about it. At best I could expect to be ridiculed, thought of as unnatural or perhaps perverted. I’TS NOT FAIR! I am just as normal as those who like massages, lift weight, run or play football. But no, our desire is strictly taboo. I want to stand up and yell, “I’m mad and I’m not going to take it anymore!” instead I have to sit here and type “I’m mad and there is not a damn, friggin thing I can do about it!”

And if you don’t mind if I rant on, another topic we are discussing on our blog is about our sex life. This would also make our friends and family gasp in horror and heap embarrassment on us. WHY? If I was reading blogs to improve my cardiovascular system that would be fine, if my boss or family found out they would be proud of me. I could ask all the question I wanted to and gathering all the information I could. But if I want to learn about my sexuality, if I want to learn more about how this part of my body how it works and ways to improve or enhanced the quality of an orgasm – oh my, heaven forbid! And speaking of heaven, God created our bodies and included in the female special added features strictly for pleasure having nothing to do with reproduction. So evidently He intended for us to enjoy this part of our lives. There is nothing wrong with researching how our bodies are supposed to work.

We are talking about sex and spankings on our blogs. I am not standing on the street corner yelling these things at folks that do not want to hear it. If you don't want to hear my opinions on these topics you wouldn’t have read this far. I know that none of us are embarrassed in the least by what we read or write yet we are all afraid of others finding out, because many others won’t understand. I want my blog to remain a secret. Not only would I have to live with the embarrassment if it were discovered, my family would also. But if anyone I know does find my blog and tries to make me feel guilty or threats to tell others I am going to print this post off, shove it in their face and tell them to kiss my ass!

My friends, I thank you for allowing me a place for my rant. I knew I would be safe here.


Things have changed for me a bit because of my books. I’m no longer in the closet, mostly because I’m retired and my kids are grown. I opened up gradually because of these things. Being ‘out’ as a spanko is not something most people will ever feel comfortable with. But at the same time I don’t direct real life friends to this blog. Although it’s public, it’s still seems private to me – most who read here already understand. And I’m grateful to you all.


  1. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen evidence of you being this pissed off before, but rightfully so. LOL I don't want to be outted, but I do think it's less of a big deal than I used to. My blogging about it, eh, that is a bit much, but like you said that is for like minded folks. Hugs, Windy

    1. I was upset. How dare people tell us we're wrong to like what we like? I say live and let live. I'm glad I'm more relaxed about it now. But it might be different if I was still teaching.

  2. Hi PK,I think I remember this. This is such a great post and deals with an issue we all struggle with...the need to keep our lifestyle secret. It is such a shame we feel it necessary. That's is why this community is so special, a place of acceptance and where we can share with like minded people.

    I'm so happy for you that you have been able to be more open. How wonderful that your writing has played a big part in that :)


    1. You're so right! This is the perfect place to talk to others. Here we all understand. Whether you are still getting the courage to tell your significant other, you're active now, or it's dying out. We all understand.

  3. PK, I think I found this post years ago when I was just reading here in blogland but hadn't written anyone yet. It made such a difference to me back then, and it was wonderful to read it again.

    This post has so much wisdom in it, even if it seems angry. So glad you dusted it off for us. I certainly have changed since I first read it here at New Beginnings! And the years do fly by.

    Hugs From Ella

    1. I guess we've all changed in that time. I was angry - with society and our need for secrecy. But I've always been grateful for what I found here.

  4. Anonymous9:54 AM

    My desires are that of being spanked, but it took along time to come out of the closet. Your blogs and others have been so much help. I would think it would be easier for a female to receive a spanking for sexual pleasure than a male. I find a strong willed, in control, woman is what I'm attracted to. Some may say I looking for a Mother Figure, I don't know, but recently met such a woman, a few years older, and when I told her, she asked, it was such a relief. I told everything, the magazines, the blogs, everything. This male is now spanked, mostly punishment, what I wanted, and she has no qualms what so ever.

    1. I'm very happy you had the courage to look for and find what you wanted. I do understand your desire. I don't necessarily think you're looking for a 'mother figure', any more than I wanted a 'daddy.' There is nothing wrong at all with being attracted to a strong in control woman. I say, good for you.

  5. PK,
    I do not know this post, but so agree with your point of view. Still under the spell of jet lag big time, I found your oldie a real goodie when my eyes could barely stay open. Treasure those old posts. I do!

    1. I was very fired up at the time. It did seem so unfair. Still does really. I have a lot of old post to go back to. I'll have to read them all someday.

      Glad you guys are home safe and sound.

  6. equally grateful for you ♥