I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, October 04, 2012

Decision time

I don’t guess this is going to be on topic.  Then again, when is it?  I guess it’s decision time.  It’s hard to call this a spanko blog.  I feel I’ve already shared my thoughts, suggestions, questions, longings, dreams, feelings, hopes, daydreams, cravings, desires, and what ever else on the subject, that I possibly can.  So with no new aspects, nothing happening in my life that feels like TTWD, DD or any other letters I can think of, what now?

Should anyone feel worried or concerned that I’m leaving – I’m not.  I am a spanko, I was born this way and I’ll die this way.  Blogland is my home; this is the place where I feel accepted and understood.  I have lurkers and I appreciate them, I have the people that comment on occasion and I thank you very much, but beyond my lurker and casual commenters I have friends here.  No, I haven’t met most of you in person, and it’s not likely that I will.  But many of you comment nearly every time I post, we email and keep up that way.  There are so many of you that I care deeply about and I feel you care about me that I can’t call you ‘blogger’ friends.  You are real life friends that I just haven’t met.

I’m sure I’ll be spanked again, probably often.  The mood will strike and Nick will feel like a little slap and tickle.  I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. I mean even vanilla’s play sometimes.  But when it happens I’m not sure I tell you about it here.  To tell you the truth, it makes me feel a little like a fool to come here over and over and complain to you that it never happens, and I whine or fuss about it.  Then something happens that gives me hope it going to be reignited in our relationship and I eagerly tell you of my good fortune only to go months before the next encounter – and I just feel stupid.

So expect to hear about the kids, and work, and… hmm… what else?  Maybe I could give cooking and cleaning tips.  I could post recipes.  Maybe laundry hints.    Good grief, what do vanilla people talk about? 


  1. Oh hon, I've been there. In fact I'm there now. Here's wishing a better run of it for both of us!


  2. PK dearest,
    I hope you count me among your blogging friends (don't answer this, just leave me to hoping this).
    I certainly see you as my blogger friend. A very special one.
    And as a friend who depends on this blogging medium for contact, I say:
    "I really don't care what you blog about, please blog about whatever comes into your mind".
    So please, please keep blogging.
    But having said that, I must also say that, having read your blog, I do think that cooking and cleaning tips from PK are somewhat doubtful. Maybe you can involve Nick about those subjects.

    Love and lots of hugs,

  3. PK,
    as long as you are here and I know that you are OK, that is what counts for me.
    Love and warm hugs,

  4. PK: You are not stupid and your friends -- I won't use the term blogger friends since I feel like a real friend -- know you're not. And we understand your frustrations. And we know you will always be a spanko. And it's your blog and you can write whatever you want. But we are hear for you and we can understand that you are excited when you have a good session even if the next one isn't around the corner. So I hope you don't feel hesitant to share your thoughts at any particular time. They are a snapshot at what you are feeling then. Good luck and we will be here for you. And will be reading even if you just share vanilla stuff. I suspect you will continue to share your spanko thoughts and how good it was when you get your next spanking.


  5. PK, this is your blog, so write about whatever you need to. We aren't here to judge you, but to enjoy your company.


  6. I don't leave comments very often but I understand where you are coming from. My husband is the same as yours sometimes he's into DD and other times he's not, I never know when it will happen.

    I hope you will keep blogging. It doesn't have to be about DD or spanking. Just about life, your hopes, wants, needs and knowing we are here reading your blog. Supporting you and wishing you the best.


  7. I have similar feelings PK and I've only been blogging not a quite a year. So, it is amazing how long you have been blogging and doing a great job. I am with all the other comments here--we will be happy to read and share in whatever you have to share with us.
    Thanks again for all you do to support Fantasy Friday and new bloggers, too. Hugs.

  8. You know how I feel! I too enjoy whatever you have to say. You make room in your heart for all your friends old and new. I think that it is rare that a relationship has a couple exactly on the same page at exactly the same time.

  9. Oh PK - you are so special! I look forward to reading all your posts! Please don't ever go away! Blogland wouldn't be the same without you.....REALLY!
    I know it is frustrating, and I have my share of frustrations as well - but as painful as they sometimes are they give people that don't blog the knowledge that they are not alone.
    I know because I lurked for a long time before beginning. This is great value in the sharing of experiences, no matter where they fit into in the realm of this thing we are all doing differently.

  10. PK, I recently considered giving up my blog because of what had happened to my DD relationship. I felt like a fraud and that no one would want to read me any longer. I admit there was a long hard period where blogging was more painful than anything else, but something about me kept the connections going. After a while, then other things started to blossom. It became a time of transition, and once I let go of what I'd wanted I was given something else. You never know.

    I am sure Nick is a great guy, but I don't really care what happens to him. I come here to hear from you.

    Hugs and love to you.

  11. Morning girl. Gee this sounds familiar. Sometimes I feel guilty because my life is mostly vanilla. Aimless Ramblings is just that, aimlessly rambling on about everything and nothing. New Beginnings is that it is a new beginning every single day isn't it. We're just happy you are around.


    Cleaning tips? Recipes? Oh good lord, I needed a good laugh today!

    Seriously though, you shouldn't feel foolish! People can relate, sister, just look at your comments!

    Regardless of what you write, I'll still read.....I could use some good laundry tips!

    Forever yours,

  13. PK you aren't going anywhere. We listen to whatever you have to say because were all friends and love you to bits. Write what you feel but just one thing please, leave the cooking tips to someone else:)

    Love and hugs,

  14. Patty7:52 PM

    Please don't stop blogging. Yours was the first post I ever read. Through you I feel part of a community that before was just a daydream. You and the others, ladies and gentlemen, have lent validation to the lifestyle we began more than fifty five years ago. Thank you.

  15. Write about anything you wish to write about PK - ill still come read and comment :) im sorry things are not going in the spanking world as well as you want them to - I do hope they improve, I dont know what to suggest other than what I always suggest and that is to talk and ask. Easier said than done though I know.
    AND dont ever feel stupid in here...we are your friends, and stupid is one thing you are very definiately NOT :)
    we will love whatever you write about so keep writing :)
    love and hugs kiwi xxx

  16. Tracy,
    I know a lot of us are in the same place. Wish it wasn’t true, but it is.

    Don’t you ever worry about being counted among my friends. It was a kind comment by you back when we first met that made me sure I wanted to keep on blogging. So there – now people can really blame you! You don’t think I can give cooking and cleaning tips, huh. Hmm…

    I feel the same way about you. I still wish you’d blog.

    I love having you all here. I love having people who know I’m a spanko and proud of it. As far as sharing, we’ll see. I’m just feeling a little strange.

    Thanks, wouldn’t it be great if we were all able to just sit and visit.

    I guess I’ve always known it wasn’t his thing. Part of me wants to say ‘lets just forget the whole thing’ but I can’t quite bring myself to do it. I guess hope dies hard.

    Be careful, you have known idea of some of the crazy things I could post about! I’ve been bouncing around here for a long time. It’s so very comfortable for me.

    It’s friends like you that make me want to stay and keep talking. I like talking about TTWD but I’m staying anyway.

    Thanks Lillie,
    I really do think about the people who are just finding blogs. I was 49 and really almost stumbled across them and they changed my life. I know that others are doing that daily with some blog. It makes me want to be here.

    We’ve been through a lot of transition while I’ve been blogging. I’m really not unhappy about anything, but I still wish TTWD had worked out a little differently. I appreciate the extra hug.

    I don’t mind seeming mostly vanilla as long as I know, and my friends here know I’M NOT vanilla! I’m really happy you’re around too!

    My smart @$$ friend! I wish for you great big back scratchers in your future. I feel as though you and Bas are challenging me. Keep reading for sure!

    You know I’m staying here – where would I go? This is home. But I don’t understand why no one wants my cooking tips – I have great ones!!

    I really love that you are here. I think of you as a real live Cassie. I’m sure you had more sense than she does, but it’s still so nice to think of someone who really has lived the lifestyle for a lifetime.

    Nope not talking about it right now. I love my husband more than anything and I know for sure he loves me. TTWD is not his thing but he has tried for me for 6 years. It’s time to let him off the hook.

  17. That gave me a giggle, PK - just what DO they talk about? We all have dry spells. You'll wake up one morning have not have enough days to get out all the things you want to say. In the meantime, I've always got a kettle on, and usually something nummy on the cake plate or at least in the planning :)

  18. PK, whatever you choose to write we will be there to listen. Many of us have been or will be in the same position.

    btw, Grace took the words out of my mouth. Recipes? :-)

    Hang in there, you have lots of friends.

  19. June,
    I appreciate you dropping by. I know that they'll be good days and bad. But I always seem to have something to talk about.

    I'm gonna have to start cooking just to prove all of you wrong! Well maybe it will give me something to do.

  20. write whatever you need to write, whatever you want to write, how often or little as you wish, and I will visit here and read as your friend as I drink a cup of tea.