I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Quiet here

I always like to put up a post on Sunday or Monday.  But I really don’t have anything.  I’m in a mode where I think more about fiction than real life.  Nick’s not much of a talker. None of his family is, they are a quiet bunch, unless it’s just them.  I’m grateful I found blogs all these years ago.  I like words, especially written words.  Too often Nick and I do a lot of not talking.

I don’t blame Nick.  He is like so many men – if she is not crying or yelling at you, for heaven sake don’t rock the boat!  Keep your mouth shut lest you stir something up. So since quiet and few words are his way I’m guessing he is perfectly content.  And I’m moderately content.  I wish he enjoyed talking about or doing TTWD, or maybe I should say TTID – this thing I do.  But he doesn’t.  So my passion for it turns to my fiction – which is how I’ve dealt with it all my life.  It’s very comfortable and safe for me and I’m grateful for the outlet.


  1. Now, PK, I was ready to comment that men can have very meaningful discussions without uttering a word, while some women (not our Blogland women of course, they are all great!), can say absolutely nothing while constantly talking.
    But none of that. I'm not going to say it.
    To controversial for a beautiful day like this Sunday, so let's just say:
    We, your readers, are very happy that you have this outlet. Because we love your written words.

    TTID ? You mean: This Thing I Do and she takes for granted so much that it is silly to talk about it?

    Have a nice Sunday!
    I'm going country-side driving with 4 women. Doesn't look like a nice quiet Sunday for me.

  2. PK,
    I for one are glad you are there.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. I guess I am the unusual male who likes to talk. But your readers love the fact that you feel safe and comfortable with your fiction because we love reading it.


  4. Well I am so very grateful you opened your heart to this crazy chick with your talking about ttwd, or ttid, however it is defined. I never would be here otherwise. My husband can be much the same. Eyes glazed over nodding politely.

  5. Hugs. Look forward to reading what you write.

  6. In theory the strong, silent type can be sexy, in practice, not so much, lol. Over the years I've learned to interpret his grunts, cause sometimes that's all I get. Have a lovely, if quiet, day :D

  7. Sunnygirl said :

    Glad you write too. I personally don't know many who are reticent. My brothers were always talkers and hubby has learned to speak up - sometimes I wish not so much especially when I am talking and and he wants the floor LOL.

    Like Bas said, sometimes words are just not necessary. Nick must be of that vent because he won you.

    Enjoy the day girl.

  8. Patty3:24 PM

    For 47 years, Kev rarely initiated conversation. The exception was when I was in trouble and Mea Culpa was the only comment he wanted from me.

  9. Hi Sweetie - I agree with Minelle and others to say that I am so glad you have this site where we can enjoy fiction and each other.
    Ian and I had several (decades) of saying very little real things to each other. We could talk about the mundane till i wanted to claw my own eyes out..but real talking - none.
    DD has changed that. But I understand your bond with the literature....thanks for making that something that we all bask in happily. Like hippopotamuses in the mud.

  10. The quiet times are good times :) and you can have such deep conversations without saying a word - and thats great, thats connection on such a deep level :)
    Im so glad you are here blogging - i love your words :)
    Sorry to hear that you are not so content with ttwd...I thougth things were changing there... :( keep writing, keep talking keep asking :)
    love and hug kiwi xx

  11. Bas,
    I’m guessing you certainly did not have a quiet afternoon. Do couples just ‘talk out’ after a while?

    You don’t know how happy I am that you are here. You are like a touch stone for me.

    I guess it tells who I really am, pretending to want to be submissive, but spending more time in fiction where I have absolute control.

    That’s the best for me meeting you and so many other wonderful people out here. I’m sure many husbands are like this.

    Thanks, SNP,
    Writing is saving me.

    I usually don’t get grunts. Just quietness.

    I really don’t mind quiet if we would talk about real things when we do talk.

    LOL, sometimes I think I could live with that if a little TTWD came with it.

    You hit on my very problem! We had those nothing conversation for 23 years, then we started TTWD and it was sooooo great. We talked, we teased, we were CLOSE! But now it’s all drifted away. Losing it is worse than if we’d never found it.

    But I don’t feel we have that deep connection anymore. I’m no asking anymore. This can be a sex game for him and I’ll live in my fiction.

    How are you doing – how is your arm and are you coming back to us?

  12. Were all so glad your here PK.


  13. Am I agreeing with Bas for the second time in one day? Goodness, who would have known? But I agree with Bas about meaningful discussions that are wordless and saying nothing while talking a lot.

    I really hear you about the longing and it not happening. The fiction does become a safe playground, doesn't it? *hugs*

  14. I understand the living in fiction rather than reality from time to time. It fulfills the need, the fantasy, the hopes and dreams. Writing is a wonderful outlet and I am glad to be a reader of your fiction as it helps me to escape into my own fiction. My husband is quiet as well. He talks about day to day. He laughs with the children. He keeps me informed about the news and shares articles with me from time to time. However, conversations back and forth about our feelings or giving an opinion about something I have shared with him are rare. And that is why, being someone who is very feeling oriented wish I could read his mind. And in talking about TTWD in which I have such passion, the silence is disconcerting to me and causes my inner voice to fill the silence with my own words. If, however, we are quiet together, and both feeling connected, then quiet can be soothing. Sorry for the babble...I apparently in a writing mode myself... :-)