I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, April 22, 2012

One last post about 50 Shades...

Don't forget to check out Cassie today.

I watched 20/20 Friday night to see the interview with E.L. James, the author of 50 Shades of Grey.  I found out a lot from that interview.  She’s one of us – maybe not a spanko, certainly not born as one of us, but she shares the same fantasies.  She was obviously curious about TTWD, and the ideas involved in BDSM, the desire to be controlled and dominated.  She was curious and researched on the internet.  Who knows but that she lurked on some of our sites?  She then threw these new ideas of her to her husband and there was a great improvement to their sex life.  Come on; does any of this sound familiar? I think this happened to a lot of us. It’s pretty much exactly what happened with Nick and me six year ago. 

Then she wrote her fantasies into a book, three books to be exact.  Now I’m not saying that her writing abilities will push Hemingway to the back shelf or anything, but she did what a lot of us out here are doing, she wrote a fantasy sex story that she liked.  She self published it as an ebook and enough people liked it, enough people thought it was a good read, that word of mouth – NO formal publicity, has the three books as the top three books on the New York Times best seller list.  I’d have to say that’s impressive by anyone’s standards.

I’m for anything that will get our ‘message’ out to the masses.  To let people that it’s not really strange or kinky to want to be controlled or dominated, at least some of the time.  It not anti-feminist, it’s our choice, as independent, thinking women.  We know what we want/need and we’ve asked for this in our relationships.

I am, however, disappointed that they are thinking of making it into a movie.  Hollywood is terrified of this subject and I feel sure that they will chicken out!  For those too young to remember, 9 1/2 Weeks was a book before they made the movie.  The ONLY thing the book and the movie had in common was the title.  It was a pure spanking, BDSM story with all the spanking and BDSM taken out.  It was like seeing the Sound of Music with all the songs cut.  The Secretary was a tiny bit better, but they still wanted to portray her as a nut case.  It makes me angry; movie will show bloody, gory murders.  They’ll show torture and dismemberment.  They’ll depict violent rape scenes, but they won’t show a man spanking a woman.  Don’t tell me we’re the ‘sick’ ones.

And one last thing, just proving my point, on the 20/20 show, they showed a sexy picture of a woman bound in chains, they had a brief scene of some women blindfolded, two clips of women spanking other women and one short clip of a woman spanking a man – not one representation of a man spanking a woman.  That’s how I know they’ll screw up the movie, they won’t show our reality.  And if they want to include all the sex that’s in the book I assume that they’ll be going for a XX-rating.  I say use your movie and pop corn money to buy the book.


  1. I agree with you 100%. The movie will be a sham. I am sure they will incorporate all three books into one because that is the only way they'll get a 90-120 minute movie sans the "real meat" of the 50 shades.

    Don't wait for the movie - read the books and you can picture any actor you want in the roles.

  2. I haven't read the book but I was so disappointed with the 9 1/2 weeks movie that I can't imagine this movie being any better.

  3. All well said, PK. I am sorry I missed the interview. Sounds like it was interesting. A couple of things. First, I remember the movie 9 1/2 Weeks. It was 1987 and I was a freshman at college away from home. Someone had that movie. I grew up in a conservative small town in the South and I was shocked and fascinated. I don't think I liked the movie, but I realized there was a lot about sex and other things that I just did not know. I read the Twilight books and there is an example of the movie not being as good as the books. Now for the point about spanking being out in the open more. I, too, think it is great. I am still rather private, but since reading spanking blogs and stories I can say our sex life has really, really improved. I am more daring, ordering sex toys for the first time ever, and enjoying my husband and sex so much more! And, the new friends are the icing on the cake. Sorry my comment is long and all over the place. Back to you---enjoyed your thoughts . Hugs

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  5. It started out as a Twilight fanfiction piece, called Masters of the Universe. It was so wildly popular that the readership nagged, cajoled begged & pleaded will she wrote MotU 2.

    I think it is very cool that it is getting so much press. And I agree, they will ruin a movie. I also agree with the part of people thinking us weird or sick. I am out to 2 nilla friends, one understands & the other says - you let him beat you (no, no I don't), and - how much are you giving up? (well nothing thanks, and I get so much in return that you could not even conceive of it.)

    Sighs - Daddy says some people just aren't meant to understand. I think he's right.

    (sorry 'bout that - had an edit to make :">)

  6. My inner goddess is sighing!

    You are right! The movie will suck! But we will watch it...just so we can say "yup, I knew it would suck".

    I recorded 20/20, I'm interested in the author.


  7. I missed 20/20 too, but I have the ebook and am interested to start it and see what all the fuss is about.

    The change to Blogger was only to the interface. It shouldn't affect your posts or template. Email me if you have trouble. I've been using it for a few months.


  8. There's an article on her book in the Sunday Times but haven't had chance to read it yet.

    I have bought the paperback for my Summer/beach read but may start it now.

    In my humble opinion books that are made into movies are never as good as the book.


  9. Anonymous10:54 PM

    I didn't see the interview but I've enjoyed reading the books.I think of it as a really hot love story. I didn't think she was submissive at all. She absolutely refused to be punished. He was damaged by abuse and her love made him whole.

  10. Sunnygirl,
    But wouldn't it be a something if they really would make that movie!

    The only good thing about that movie is I got pregnant with LJ right after we watched it! LOL!

    I think one thing that we all have in common out here is that our sex life really improved once we came out about our desires. It's not the spanking so much as the closeness we feel once we discuss all this.

    I'm out to a few vanillas too. Actually between family and friends it's about 6 people. I've had really good response from these people. There attitude is like "If you like it go for it."

    I won't be going unless a bunch of folks out here tell me it's great.

    I think you'll like it. Thanks for the offer of help. I really may need it.

    I think you should go ahead and read it now. And tell me what you think.

    I agree it was a great love story about a couple who grew together and chose together to explore more.

  11. PK: Thanks for the heads up on the 20-20 segment. I missed it but it is on their website. Amazing it was a success by word of mouth. Maybe your Cassie book can follow in her footsteps. Good luck.


  12. I saw the interview and I agree with you, she is one of us. But all the other women pretending to spank and put on blind folds was really disappointing. What also bothered me was that the interview was part of an entire show that discussed different relationships, different as is "unusual" like the open marriage group of friends. Because a person enjoys one lifestyle does not mean that they are part of any large group combined with all choice lifestyles. Well my opinion - sorry. I also agree that this is another book that should not be made into a movie.
    I bet your Cassie book will do even better then this book. I am so enjoying reading the blog from the beginning.

  13. PK, you know my opinion of the book, it's not great, but a nice bedtime read, especially if you have company
    A Twenty-first century fairy tale.
    Love and warm hugs,

  14. I watched the interview as well...I would certainly be curious to read the book...nice to see a mom of two children sharing a fantasy openly...Never heard of 91/2 weeks...take care, Terps

  15. I missed the interview, so thanks for giving it a recap here! Definitely interesting. I agree about how I don't think the movie will portray any of ttwd in a correct light, and will make it out to be some sick weird twisted thing, which stinks. Now i'm not saying I wouldn't mind putting a face to the delicious Christian Grey, but I don't think they'll do it justice that's for sure.

  16. FD,
    Wouldn’t that be a wonder? But I think the lack of graphic sex and their age would hold them back.

    I’m so happy that you really like Cassie; I couldn’t have a better compliment. I do plan to make her story into a series of books. If the editor I’m working with can’t get to it I will eventually self-publish. But it will be a while; I’ll be retired in five years.

    Christian Grey, prince Charming with a paddle!

    You HAVE to read it. I am a true fan (speaking of fan, keep one handy when you read.)

    If they make the movie they have to let me cast it! LOL! But wouldn’t it be fun to hold auditions?

  17. Yesterday the book was discussed on The Dr. Oz show as to how it can help your marriage to get communication going to improve your sex life. :-) Apparently the book is everywhere...must get a copy...it will be my first erotica book purchase. :-) Take care, terps

  18. I don't think I have ever read a book and liked the movie afterwards. So much is lost in the translation. Some of my favorite books have been mauled and ruined as movies.