I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Oh, the voices in my head

Today is Sunday – we’ll take Mollie back to school after lunch today and then the nest will be empty again. We usually come home and nap on Sunday afternoons. Today when we wake up we’ll be able to do anything we like. As a prelude Nick woke me up in an interesting way Saturday morning. The first thing he did was to slip a blindfold on me. He said “So you can still sleep.” That’s the only thing he said the whole time. Next he pulled back the covers and as I lay there in a half dream state he shaved the kitty. I really like that. Afterwards there was much rubbing and touching. Then I got my pussy spanked – not hard, but deliciously stinging and then some more fingering, and then he was gone. What a way to wake up! I see great potential now that we will have our privacy again. I’ll let you know more later, meanwhile here is the post I had for today. I’m afraid it’s very timely.

I have bunches of people living in my head. I have many friends out here that will confirm that. But two of the leading characters and been fighting this week. Let’s call them Badass and Wimpy. Some people have an angel and a devil sitting on their shoulder advising them in different directions, but it's Badass and Wimpy that whisper in my ear.

Badass is a hard core spanko – she can take anything! She wants to be spanked long and hard and ver y often. She’ll buy paddles and wooden spoons and straps and anything else that looks like it would give a serious spanking. When she gets in certain moods she like to taunt Nick, and eggs him on to spank more often and longer and harder. When she hasn’t been spanked in a long time she really starts pushing. Her memory for pain is nearly nonexistent.

Then there’s poor Wimpy. Wimpy’s memory for the pain of a spanking is extremely acute. She knows that after about two swats Badass will run for the hills and leave Wimpy to endure the rest of the spanking all by herself. Of course Badass may pop back if Nick asks a question like, “Have you had enough?” Both of these people will want to answer the question. I never really know who will get the answer out first.

Badass wants to say “Is that all you got? You hit like a girl, put some muscle in it for goodness sake. You’ve only been spanking 15 minutes – go take some vitamins!”

While Wimpy is trying to say, “Yes, yes! That’s plenty. Let’s do something else.”

All I know for sure is that whoever answers first the other one will be a little upset and disappointed. And since the both live in my head you see my dilemma. But even these two can agree on one thing. They want Nick to be the one in charge.

Sometimes in an effort to give me as much as I want – but not wanting to go too far and hurt me, Nick will tell me he’s going to spank until I tell him to stop. I understand his reasoning – all I can take and no more, but for me this defeats the purpose of a spanking. I want to give up control!!! I want to be able to tell him stop, that’s enough, please – and have him ignore me completely. Being able to tell him when to stop does nothing for my submissive side (which is my sexy side). Shoot as soon as it starts stinging Wimpy is ready to tell him to stop. I, and Badass agrees, want him to push the limits. I love that when Nick spanks he usually give me breaks, I appreciate that because it lets me accept more. Of course sometimes the rubbing takes over and he forgets to go back to the spanking as other things take over his mind, but still the breaks help me a lot. And it seems that although Badass is tough, Wimpy must talk louder, because as me – I’d say my spankings are too short most of the time. I’d like Nick to take a long time with the spanking. Shoot he could spank a while, go drink a beer, and come back for a few more rounds before going on to the main event. Owwwww… Wimpy just kicked me!

I like to think that taking a hard spanking is like running a marathon. You’ve got to be a little crazy to want to try it, when you’re in the middle of it you feel like you just can’t take any more, when it’s over you have a major sense of pride and accomplishment, and the achy soreness the next day is a wonderful reminder and a true badge of honor. I don’t know if I’m ready for a marathon or not, but I am ready to go into training!


  1. PK, you are lucky that you only have two.
    But it seems that you are doing well.
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. PK, I never thought of naming my voices, that might make them seem friendlier..lol. Master is usually in charge of my spankings, the few times He asks,,,Wimpy always wins out. Can't wait to hear more empty nest adventures. abby

  3. I could have written this post. I haven't solved the dilemna either. Let me know if you come up with anything and vice versa.

  4. I too want to hear more about the empty nest. Naming your voices...(smiles) I have ran a few "marathons" and in the beginning my voice is saying I want this, I deserve this, but like you when the pain becomes unbearable, I want to stop. Unfortunately, I have never been given that option, so I have to endure. I do however where those "badges" as a reminder...well, until they wear off.

  5. I agree with Paul, your lucky you only have two. Have a safe trip and it looks like you will be enjoying that empty nest soon.

  6. Enjoy your Sunday! Send Wimpy to take a nap in a corner somewhere. :)

  7. PK: What a wonderful post. How nice that he shaved you and spanked your pussy.

    And your description of comparing it to running a marathon was just perfect.

    And let's hope he ignores wimpy from now on and gives Badass everything she can take and more and never, ever asks you when to stop. Let's hope he decides when to stop.


  8. i know just how you feel - i think most of us feel similar to that. I hope Nick gets the message for you and stops asking when to stop and just keeps going until he decides to stop - it could be one of those be careful what you wish for times though PK ;)
    love and hugs kiwi xxx

  9. Anonymous8:04 PM

    I like Wimpy and Badass...nice analogy to a marathon, too.


    P.S. I second what Florida Dom says:)!

  10. Paul,
    Read again, I said I had bunches! LOL, Cassie and friends only take up one wing. But I’m happy with all the folks living in my head. It’s annoying when they want opposite things, but I’m learning to deal.

    It might be different if we did any discipline or even maintenance but that doesn’t happen.

    I do think you and I are very similar in what we need and want. But when Nick and we first began all I think Badass was around more.

    Unfortunate or fortunate – I’m not sure which. Badass thinks she wants to experience having to endure some, the few times I’ve had badges and liked them.

    Like I told Paul – there are many, not just two. The trip was safe and the empty nest has already been enjoyed.

    Trust me, Sunday was enjoyed.

    I we just have to get used to having our house back. But it has been a great weekend.

    So glad to see you out about again. You’ve been missed. I hope your holidays were great. I’m looking forward to seeing how we do now.

    I guess we all live with these different sides and desires running through our heads.

  11. LOL, never thought of naming my voices. Wonder what I'd call them. I like Badbass.


  12. Anonymous4:48 PM

    Why could I possibly be confused!

    Without the visible label of "badass" or "wimp" the view from the rear is all the same.

    Love you both!


  13. Ronnie,
    I know my my name and I could give you great graphic details on most of them. It's like having a split personality but having it under control. I channel different people in different situations. It's really fun sometimes.

    LOL! Nick! I'll work on the labels, and we all love you too!

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  15. Anonymous2:31 AM

    Oh my!!! YES YES YES! I swear, if it wasnt for the details that make it impossible, I'd swear I was actually writing this! The blog dsign is ven rainbow!!! My favorite color!!!! This described my thoughts exactly! Thank you! Im not the only one!?! Phew! -Britt

  16. Anon,
    I just got your comment. Glad you like the rainbow, I designed it my self although a friend set it up on the blog. Lots of us with the same thoughts out her aren't there?

  17. Fantastic post! Sounds like it speaks for many of us!
    Rosie Dee