I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

You can’t mean you are not going to be naked at your own wedding!!

Do you ever worry about someone finding out about your spanko side? I know most of us worry at least a little. And I know for some the idea is extremely frightening. I know it was for me at first. I have changed a lot over the years I’ve been here. In real life I have told one close friend and my sister. Both of them had the same reaction – surprise, amusement, total acceptance and underlying it all a complete lack of understanding of what spanking really means in my life. And that’s fine. I don’t care if they understand all the underlying thought on submission and dominance. They just know I enjoy being spanked and that the ability to open up to Nick and have him accepting my kink has made us a much happier couple.

I’m never planning to share with my kids – at least while they are kids. Of course LJ is 21. I have no reason or plans to tell him but if he found out I believe that for the 30 seconds or less he actually thought about it (that’s about as long as he thinks about anything unless I write it up as a play) he would be amused. Now Mollie on the other hand would probably be mortified, about the spanking and equally about the fact we still have sex at all. No one on my side of the family would care and where Nick’s family would probably be embarrassed if they found out I know them well enough to be sure that they would never say a word to us.

If I was found out at work I would certainly have to take the blog private and that would be sad (if that ever happens and you want in just email me – it would only be work folks I would be shutting out). I don’t think I would lose my job after all these years. And the reason I think I would keep my job is because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS THING WE DO!!!

I look back in my blog and I can’t find one thing shocking in it. I have always been proud of a post I did that first year saying that we should not have to hide our kink, you can read it here if you are interested. All I’ve ever said is that I believe in consensual adult spanking. That I think it is sexy and that it makes me feel safe and protected. I have been married to the same man for 26 years and we have an active sex life that includes spanking. Sorry I can’t see anything wrong with any of this.

So while I know we don’t want to be found out I sure hope no one is ashamed of TTWD. Letting the spanko side of me out is the best thing I have ever done. It turned a hum-drum marriage into a strong, loving bond. It changed me from dreading sex to really looking forward to the time we can get the house alone. I am a much, much happier person. Being happier make me a better teacher, a better wife and a better mother. It was the catalysis in me losing 40 pounds and it’s all tied up in my desire and goal to lose more. I wish our lifestyle could be discussed in the opened. Not to try to talk others into it but to encourage those who know that they have these tendencies to accept themselves and embrace what so many of us know works!

So what would I say if my ‘secret’ was to be discovered and I was confronted with it? Well, I remember an old episode from Star Trek, the Next Generation. In this show a woman from another planet was getting ready to marry a man from Earth, a rather conservative man. Her grow daughter had her doubts because of their differences. The final straw came when the mother showed her daughter her wedding dress. In total shock the daughter looked at her mother in and asked in an incredulous voice “Mother! You can’t mean you are not going to be naked at your own wedding!!” The actress was so good at delivering that line I found myself shocked that the bride to be would be wearing clothes.

So if anyone should ever say to me ‘You don’t mean your husband spanks you!” I’ll look at them with shock and concern and say “Of course he does! Doesn’t yours?


  1. Anonymous7:20 AM

    I'm finding as I mature, I don't really care if people know that I am submissive and love spanking. Over the years when I look back, I can see that spanking is a natural thing that I even observe my innocent kids playfully doing (of course it's nothing sexual, but a form of love tap) You never know, these kids might grow up to be spankos too :-)

  2. PK: I loved your last line. What a perfect retort. It's great that being a spanko has made your life so much better and as, in any marriage, the only thing that counts is that the two people in it are happy with each other and what they're doing.


  3. PK, a lovely post, like FD, I loved your last line.
    Love and warm hugs,

  4. Yep, that would be the perfect retort should the need for it to be use arise. :) I don't know if I care or not that people suspect that I like it. You know bedrooms are private unless one is invited in!

    I have to tell you that I saw something my BIL put on his FB page that referenced TTWD and I almost fell out of my chair! Normally I comment. Didn't say a word this time! I believe I was at a loss for words!

    Hope you're having a good day.

    Debbie :)

  5. Yes, that's exactly the right thing to say. I must write it down and recite it occasionally so I'll always be prepared!


  6. Kitten,
    I agree and I see it as maturing too - or getting old, I'm not sure. But in my case when I passed 50 there are much fewer things that upset me. And I am much more likely to simply say what I think (politely)and not care if anyone agrees or not. I know you are not close to that age but in this case getting older really helps.

    LOL its really the way I feel too. I know what works for me and no one will ever make me feel guilty about it.

    I'm actually looking forward to using it someday!

    Come on! Tell what your BIL said. You can email if you like. How strange.

    I think we all should get used to saying it and saying it with feeling!

  7. Anonymous11:33 PM

    This made me think of a time a few weeks ago when my used to be college roommate and I were traveling back to our former school to see a football game. She was driving so I wasnt really paying attention, and all of a sudden, in her most disgusted voice ever, she says, "Oh my, who would ever have a bumper sticker that repulsive on their car." I looked up and couldn't help but smile when I saw a "spank me" bumper sticker on the car in front of us. My friend proceded to carry on about how she would not deal with such abuse and especially not post it on her car for people to see. I didn't comment and made a mental note to never slip and share any spanking details with her. I do know that my husband and her boyfriend have discussed the topic though, so this could get tricky. LOL
    PS- I loved your FF story :)

  8. Lovely post PK. Like everybody here I love your last line and I'm going to write it and keep it, just in case.


  9. Anne,
    I think you're smart to avoid the topic with your friend but at the same time do you ever find yourself wanting to argue your views and try to explain to people what it is we like. I guess I'll just wait to be attacked so I'll have a good reason to defend myself.

    Yep we'll have it if we need it. BTW I found this comment in my spam folder so I could have missed an email - I'll be checking more closely.

  10. Anonymous10:02 AM

    I quoted you at my writer's meeting PK, 'KayLynn if you can't be upfront about what you do by the time you're 50 ... then what good are you to your gender!' They loved your line & over 80% were into the same things! The media is helping us a bit & I'm grateful to them for that!