I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009


How do we make our children feel special? I know we all try. I know I want mine to feel special but I don’t think Mollie will ever be one to realize how special she really is. I think Mollie is very happy. She is well adjusted and content with who she is – but she doesn’t feel special. I think she really believes, or at least used to believe, that I love LJ the best. That is not true and has never been true!! But I know why she must think it sometimes.

LJ was the easiest child in the world to raise. As soon as he could understand what we were saying to him he did everything we asked. He was the typical first child, wanted to please. He did well in school, did his homework without being asked. Did anything we ask to help around the house, just an all round easy kid.

And then came my baby! Now Mollie was perfect too the first year. But then she learned to walk and talk! And all heck broke lose in our house!! That child would argue with a fence post! No matter what I said to her there was an argument. She fussed about her socks, didn’t want to wear shoes, wouldn’t let me comb her hair, and wouldn’t listen to anything I ever said. She didn’t want to do her homework, didn’t want to clean her room, didn’t want to do anything we asked her to do.

So I know what she saw – me never fussing at LJ and always on her back. She also saw LJ as special - older, in academically gifted classes, on stage, nominated for and attended Governor’s school, well known and liked in the community, even being gay and having a great boyfriend made him seem special. But she doesn’t see herself as special.

She is WRONG!! This is such a special child. As she got a little older around 10 or 11 we really began to grow close. She is a live wire around here. Talks all the time and I love to hear her rattle on. This girl is smart, beautiful, thoughtful, loving and funny! Her teachers and everyone at church go out of their way to tell me what a wonderful kid she is. She had her first babysitting job at the age of 7, I think that says responsible!

I often share the things others say about her with her and she just grins and shrugs. She has such a good head on her shoulder and she is practical. She tells me she won’t ever be on stage like her brother, she won’t ever be asks to join two major symphonies in our state at the age of 15 as her cousin has just been asked to do and she won’t be designing costumes for the theater as another cousin is studying to do. She sees them as ‘special’ and herself as everyday. She wants to live in our little town and teach school like her mom. She doesn’t want to move to New York City and be ‘special’.

Recently Mollie was nominated for a short science and math program being offered to select high school students at one of our state colleges. She didn’t have great hopes of getting in but she wanted to go through the process to find out. She wrote essays and answered questions and then didn’t think much more about it. But out of all the students nominate from the all the high schools through out our state she was among the 40 they chose.

If you ask me they chose a very special girl.


  1. She's sounds like an incredibly well adjusted young woman. For me, reading this, what I got was that while she IS special, she simply accepts herself as is, and has no need to be seen as special (though, without actually knowing her, I may be well off mark here about how she thinks).

    It sounds as if you've raised two incredible and very individual people lovely one. Great job!!

    love and hugs xxx

  2. She is her own person. Congratulations to Mollie PK, well done her and well done to you and Nick, sounds like you have done a wonderful job raising two very special people.


  3. Pk that was really touching. Mollie is indeed a very special girl and I hope you share what you wrote with her. Also let her know that teachers are very special people too.

  4. ohhhhhhhh PK.. I agree with the others.. Mollie is very special... and a daughter any parent would wish for... so be very proud of het indeed...

    love, Lessa

  5. Anonymous2:14 PM

    Sorry PK, I don't know why,maybe I am also a second child of my parents,and have a like-perfect sister,but when I read your older posts,especially at the beginning of this blog,I did feel that you love LJ more than Mollie. Ofcourse that feeling fade through posts and disappear now. But like the other commenters, I think you did a wonderful job raising your children and they are both special

  6. Sometimes it seems as though we talk about one child more than another, but it's only because they are doing more things. When you first started your blog LJ was just leaving for college, so the attention was on him. Now LJ has made a life for himself and Mollie is still at home. She's a really good girl. You are so very lucky to have such a good kid. Not everyone gets in the spotlight and just because they aren't in the spot light doesn't make them any less special.

    As with most teens, she will figure this out when she gets older.

    But we already know the truth!

    Congrats and HUGS!

  7. She's a very special girl with a very special family.

  8. Anonymous9:52 PM

    I agree!! She's awesome!!! Seriously!!! She's also gorgeous, fantastic, beautiful, amazing, interesting, etc etc etc etc etc!!!

  9. M:e,
    I am glad she is happy with herself and she can ofen laugh at herself too. That's special in itself.

    I will only take slight credit - I think sometimes they are turning out well in spite of me.

    I think she will be a teacher that will be remembered lovingly but all her students.

    I really am proud of her!

    Grace explained it well. I was so worried about losing him when I first started the blog. I was stressing over that and thinking about him a lot. Now I see Mollie nearly old enough to leave soon and I realize how much I am going to miss her.

    I know Mollie does not want the spotlight. She does not like to be the focus of the crowd. She will be a worker in her community but it will take people a while to notice.

    Thanks from Mollie and the rest of the family.

    Thank for the first hand account! And I agree.

  10. sorry for my absence...I missed you out here...doing my best to catch up a little today...life is crazy though really no different than any other day...anyways, clearly you have a very special daughter and a very special son...and you are a very special mom...really sweet post...I hope my children feel special - even with the day to day challenges I certainly think they are special and love them more than life itself...hugs terps