I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Lunch – these days it probably my favorite part of my work day.

Laundry – this is lot like my kitchen. Great to have clothes to wash, wonderful to have a washing machine in which to clean them and fantastic to have a husband that does it!!

Those with L names – both my children have L names, so does the dog for that matter! I haven’t called any of them by the right name in 16 years! But I love them.

Love – and speaking of love, what can I say here to do it justice? Hopefully you all know what love is in all its wonderful forms, the love of a pet, your friends, a child and that special love given to the most special person in your life.

Looks – Not my looks, I don’t scare people away but I won’t be bragging on my looks. No I’m talking about the looks that I get from friends when we know exactly what the other is thinking – and this makes me think of Eva. So many of our conversations in person take place in front of Mollie or one of her girls sometimes a look must convey what we are thinking.

Of course, the looks I get from Nick can be the very best! Again because we are often not alone a look can allow us to share a joke or sometimes even plan an evening.

Longing – I think it was longing that got me to where I am today. It’s true that I was very, very slow to get here but the longing to be close to Nick, the longing for him to know my thought on dominance, submission and spanking, mostly the longing for the courage to tell him everything. It was the longing that got me here.

Letters – my son went through a period of writing real letters – snail mail folks! I cherish those letters. Letters written by hand are always going to be special. Even though these are very memorable I consider every letter I get by email special too. You can’t beat the written word.

Diet Update

After a weekend away and a week home (making snacking easier) I was up just under a half pound. Nick doesn’t spank for that small a gain since our scales can change that much with in minutes but I still wish it had not been a gain, even a small one.

But I did have an interesting experience today. I was ready for church looking in the mirror and for the first time in nearly forever I didn’t feel like I looked fat. Oh I don’t mean anyone would ever call me skinny but I no longer feel fat. It was a really good feeling. I am also with in a few pounds of changing that middle number!! That will be a real boost so I really want to get there. But just feeling more comfortable with myself is worth all the work


  1. Hey PK, what a great list.

    I do love reading your diet update, thanks for sharing with us and good luck.


  2. The bit about laundry made me smile....one of sayings lately has been 'and there's ALWAYS laundry'....cos there really always does seem to be!!

    ..and letters...that made me remember a time before my late husband and I were married and we used to write to each other when he was away. Seems ages since I wrote a snail mail letter...but yes, they are special.

    love and hugs xxx

  3. PK, that was such a positive comment about how you feel now looking at yourself. Bravo for you.

    I smiled when I read that and had to comment. I think that is more important than a number on the scale, don't you?

    Have a great day.

    Debbie :)

  4. Thank-you for sharing your grateful list...there are so many things to be grateful for...and today is one of those days that I want to really think and remember all those things...so my L list is love, laughter, loyalty, the ability to listen, and friends beginning with the letter L... Hugs, Terps :-)

  5. PK, great list, gratitude is one of the things that improve the world.
    Great that you are feeling good about yourself.
    Love and warm hugs,

  6. Dear PK!

    i feel so happy for you!! it is great that you feel comfortable and happy with yourself!!

    you have to be very proud of you!!

    i love your list!! and i was laughing when i read that you don`t call your kids by their real names... i do exactly the same with mine lol i have like 34 nicknames for each one lol! so when they listen to me calling them with their real names... they get worriend and know they are in troubles lol!

    huge hugs!!


  7. Anonymous11:34 PM

    Such a great list PK.. Sounds like your dieting is going pretty well. It's always great to be able to look at your reflection and feel good about yourself.


  8. Hey Ronnie,
    Some how reporting on my diet keep me trying harder.

    A letter in the hand is something very, very special.

    It felt really good. It's nice when I can look at old pictures and see the change.

    Thank you, and thank you for always being there.

    I am grateful for many things. The fact that I feel better about myself is one of those things.

    Thanks löthianne, I wonder what parents of only one child call the kid? I remember when my mom would call me by my full name - it was time to head for the hills!

    Maybe someday I can even do it naked - but that will be a while yet! LOL!

  9. mmmmm, I do like your list... you made me smile with recognizing...

    hugs, Lessa

  10. that is Awesome PK!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!