Fantasy Friday Revival - Breaking Obsessions

Friday again and I have another story for you to begin your weekend. Back when this one was first published it could have been written by any number of us. I hope you'll enjoy...

Breaking Obsessions 

I just love waking up in the morning and having coffee with all my online friends from around the world. I’ve been blogging for about a year and have met so many wonderful people. Unfortunately, I spend way too much time on the computer chatting and reading blogs and writing for my own blog. Mark warned me to get away from my computer and get some activities that will introduce me to people who could become real life friends instead of relying on those that I will never meet. He’s been so worried about me ever since one of the online friends I had become close with decided they did not want online friendships and just completely dropped out of site. These things happen, but I took it very hard. I had talked to her every day; sent pictures and thought some day we would actually meet. I felt so hurt from the sudden separation.

Mark spent a good month helping me heal. He lectured me about finding friends and people to hang with outside of the computer so I had other things to do and the dangers of getting too close to people online. Since I lost my job I’ve been kind of lost. My blogging time and connections with online people had become constant. They were all I talked about, all I wondered about and all I wanted to associate with. I should have been frightened off by my experience but for some reason, I just dove in deeper.

For the last 3 weeks, Mark has really been on my back about putting the computer down. “It’s so nice outside, Suzanne, let’s go bike riding,” he would say. He would suggest for me to do all kinds of outside activities and even give me outside chores in an effort to break my obsession. There have been times when I did not move fast enough for his taste when he told me to do something and I would be pulled over his knee for a hand spanking which served as a warning that I better move faster. Actually, this practice of his has become more frequent with a few full fledged bare bottom spankings taking place because I did not do as I was told.

Everything came to a head four days ago when Mark had finally had enough. He explained that he was glad I had made friends but that he was putting his foot down about computer time. I am no stranger to discipline by my husband. We had talked about adding discipline into our relationship during our 10th year of marriage. We have been married now for seventeen years. I wanted a strong man that would lead and was quite happy to change our family dynamic having him lead. Mark has always been very fair and the safety and security I feel outweighs any rules I may sometimes want to rebel against.

Mark took my chin with his hand and made sure I was looking directly at him when he told me that I was allowed only two hours a day for the next month on my computer. He was serious about me finding other interests. He told me he was very concerned about me getting hurt again and how that incident also affected him. He did not want a repeat. Several times I tried to look away from him but he would gently shake my chin and demand I look at him while he talked. When he was done with his lecture he asked me if I understood. I did my best to assure him that I would not get hurt again and stated my case about two hours being not nearly enough time each day. Mark only looked at me and asked again “Do you understand?” My only choice was to answer him “Yes, sir.”

I went to bed that night angry and completely out of sorts. What was I going to do with my day? I lay there thinking about what constructive things I could do with my time. It was then that I realized exactly how much my computer friends took up my day. I knew I was chatting often and reading blogs a lot, but if dinner was made and laundry got done, what difference did it make?

I awoke the next morning and immediately turned on the computer. My best blogging friend Donna had written me an email telling me to read her latest post. She and I had never met but talk about it often. We’ve talked on the phone on several different occasions and have so much in common. She is a DD wife as well so we can talk about spanking and restrictions openly. She lives about a five hour car ride from me and we so wish that we lived closer to each other. She stays at home during the day so we are able to chat a lot on instant messenger but she has to get off the computer when her husband comes home.

I read her post and by that time she had signed onto IM. I explained to her my new computer restriction. Donna was as sad as I was. She told me that it was like she was being restricted too. Mark had talked to Donna on the phone before and he saw the pictures she sent of herself and her family so they were not complete strangers. He likes Donna and reads her posts often but still had his reservations about anyone online. I spent the next ½ hour chatting with her and then decided to check out some other blogs. By the time I finished surfing and reading, I had already used an hour and half. This restriction was just not going to fly with me.

I spent the day trying to stay busy doing anything and everything I could think of to keep my mind off of the computer. I desperately wanted to talk to Donna. Her husband doesn’t like her to use the cell phone minutes without asking first because they get used up too fast. Several times she has run the minutes out, so we don’t chat by phone often and usually on weekends.

Later in the afternoon I got on the computer to chat with Donna one more time before her husband came home from work. I was so miserable thinking about how long the next month was going to be not talking to her like I usually do. That’s when it hit me. ROAD TRIP! What else did I have to do? I checked with Donna and she didn’t have anything going that would stop a visit from me. She just wanted me to make sure it was okay with Mark. Well, I’d at least leave him a note.

Mark would never agree to me meeting Donna without him but I was angry at him and reacting to that anger. I will just do this and show him that it is okay to meet cyber people. They are just like everyone else. It’s not my fault that he doesn’t have any vacation time right now to go with me. I’ll just stay the weekend and be back Monday before he gets home from work.

I did not allow any thoughts of punishment to enter my head, only the excitement of meeting my closest internet friend. Tomorrow was Friday and I would leave after Mark went to work. I’d packed a few things, make sure I had the directions and start my 5 hour drive. I figured I would call Mark when I arrived and tell him where I was. My call would most likely go to voicemail being that he told me he had meetings most of the day. That would work out perfect. I wouldn’t have to listen to scolding. I’m angry at him and I want to stay that way for the weekend. This is the first time I have felt his rule completely unfair. I’ve silently rebelled in the past, maybe even slammed a door or two but this is the first time I have ever done anything like this. If he wouldn’t let me use my computer to talk to my friend, I’ll just go to my friend so we can talk. Hey, I’m not on the computer, right? I won’t even take it with me.

My ride has been quite uneventful so far. The radio was turned up and I was singing along when my cell phone rang. I took it off the seat next to me and read the number. It was Mark. He only calls the cell when he doesn’t get an answer at home. It rang for the 3rd ring. I could not decide whether to pick it up or let it go. I was only on the road 2 hours so far so letting the call go to voicemail, he would require me to call him back. I had 3 hours before I reached Donna’s house where I was going to call him. By the time I decided to let it go to voicemail the phone had stopped ringing.

When I heard the familiar chime letting me know that I had a voicemail, I put the phone to my ear and listened to what he had to say. “Hey honey, where are you?” was what I heard him say. He continued, “Call me back when you get this. I don’t have another meeting for an hour.” Oh great. He’ll certainly call back in a ½ hour if he doesn’t hear from me. Then he’ll worry if I don’t answer again. I had to call him now. Oh well, I’ll just tell him now. I’m 2 hours away from home and to me that is enough time to tell him that I am almost there to avoid him telling me to turn around and come home.

All of a sudden I got very nervous. I’ve never disobeyed him in this way before. What was he going to think? I put myself in his place and thought how I would feel if he took off on me. Yeah, I was mad but what the heck did I do? I’ve been known to act like a brat but nothing to this extreme.

I had been thinking for so long that when the phone rang again, I didn’t realize 45 minutes had passed. I answered the phone, voice quivering a bit and Mark immediately said in a concerned but stern voice “Where are you.” “I’m driving,” I answered. “Driving where and didn’t you get my message to call me?” 

“Yes, I got your message,” I said. “I was going to call you right when the phone rang again.” 

“So what have you been doing, where are you driving?” I took a deep breath and then just spilled it all out. I explained that I was on my way to Donna’s and that I had been driving nearly three hours now and was very excited to see her. I tried to have a non-challenging tone, a sort of no-big-deal attitude. I told him that I was upset about not being able to talk to her like I do every day and that I thought it would be a good time to arrange a visit.

Mark was silent on the other end of the phone for a very long time. He finally spoke and said, “Suzanne, when have I ever made a rule that was not for your own good or the good of our relationship? I am so disappointed that you would defy me like this. You may be mad at me, but taking off alone to meet people that neither you nor I know in a place where neither you nor I have ever been is unacceptable behavior. You will turn that car around immediately and start for home. Do I make myself clear?”

His words cut like a knife into my heart. He was right. Since we started DD, his goal has been to watch out for the both of us. I saw no need to argue that point. His voice was demanding and I could tell he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Even if I continued on to her house, I would have to go home at some point and face the music. 

Disappointed I wouldn’t see Donna; I answered with a meek “Yes, sir” and got off at the next exit to turn around. Mark then told me that he was attending one more meeting and canceling the rest for that day. He would be home and waiting for me. With a gulp, I told him the time I estimated I’d be home. He told me not to stop anywhere on the way home unless I needed gas and he ended our conversation with, “I’ll expect to see you in a few hours.” I called Donna to tell her I couldn’t make it. I then began to cry thinking about what awaited me.

I pulled in the driveway and saw that Mark was indeed home. I grabbed my suitcase and walked in the house. Mark was standing near the door and came to meet me with a hug. He said, “I’m glad to see you.” His arms felt good wrapped around me and I wished it would stay that way but just as I expected, he told me to take my suitcase to the bedroom and unpack then wait for him to come in.

I headed to the bedroom feeling as uneasy as I’ve ever felt. In our seven years of DD, I had never done something this serious. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking and what he was going to do. It was obvious he wasn’t happy with me but would he think I went too far in my rebellion against a rule I disagreed with. What if he didn’t want a DD relationship anymore thinking I was going to rebel against all his rules? I was so nervous now that I started shaking.

I finished unpacking just as Mark was entering the room. He told me to sit on the bed. Then he came over to sit next to me. He put his hand on my leg and said, “Suzanne, you really surprised me. I know you don’t like the computer restriction but I never thought you would so easily do something you know I would be against.” His voice was that of a stern disciplinarian. It sent shivers up my back. I began to get up off the bed to walk the floor. Immediately his voice raised and he said “sit down and do not move until you are told to move.” I had never seen him so demanding and stern. I obeyed his command and felt the tears begin to well.

Mark got up off the bed and went to the closet where he keeps our spanking implements. He reached in and took a belt off the hook it was hanging from. He turned around to look at me and said, “Seven years ago, did you not agree to submit to my authority?” With my eyes fixated on the floor, I shook my head yes. “Suzanne, look at me and answer my question.” I raised my head and softly spoke a humble, “Yes, sir.” 

“Okay, your little stunt was unsafe and unacceptable. I want to make sure you know that today. Take your pants down to your knees and bend over the bed.” I stood up and did as I was told. I felt as though I should say something, either to make a plea or to apologize but I could tell by his firm tone that speaking right now would not be good. He had a punishment in store and there was no getting out of it.

The first swat of the belt landed with precision across both my cheeks. The sting was more than usual. I could tell he was delivering at nearly full force. The next swat made me yelp and then they came hard and fast. I yelled out that I was sorry in hopes that my contrite heart would shorten the lesson. A couple dozen more continued to burn my backside before he stopped. He put the belt on the bed and told me that he believed I was sorry but that he wanted to make sure I knew how disappointed he was in my decision to go off without asking. I am not allowed to get up from a spanking position until I am given permission and I could hear him getting another implement out of the closet. He has a few favorites for punishments and nervously, I wondered which one I would be experiencing next.

I didn’t have to wait long to find out that the large wood paddle was the next instrument of punishment. This paddle has an immediate bite that brings tears after just two swats. Mark held nothing back. He was angry and I was feeling that anger through the hard piece of wood. The second swat hit and true to form, the tears flowed hard. The impact of my selfishness had sunk in and I was truly sorry for causing him to worry. I received fifteen and two extra for putting my hand back to block, seventeen in all. Mark took my arm and helped me off the bed and to the corner.

“Stay put Suzanne and if I see you rub, you’ll get the paddle all over again.” Being that my nose was in the corner, I had no idea if he left the room or was standing behind me. My bottom felt like bugs were biting it, little stings of pain everywhere but I didn’t dare rub. I made that mistake once and Mark made good on his promise of repeating the swats.

Mark had gone out of the room to get me tissue which he placed in my hand. He usually leaves me in the corner until my sobbing slows down enough to talk. I heard him sit on the bed as I wiped my face and nose. A minute later he called me to him.

I stood in front of him and he wiped my last tear. “I’m sorry I had to be so harsh with you but I needed for you to know the extent of what you did. Had something happened to you, I would lose my life. You are everything to me. I know being out of a job has been hard on you and you need your friends right now. I am keeping you on computer restriction because you absolutely need get out and do other things but I have a couple days I can take off work and if you still want to meet up with Donna, I will go with you to meet her.” I knew right then I should have just talked to him about meeting her. He’s always been fair and giving. 

“I’m very sorry. I’ll never take off like that again. I love you so much. Yes, YES, I do want to meet her. Thank you so much.” We embraced and he lifted me onto the bed for some after care. Besides lotion, his form of aftercare always makes everything completely better.

~o~

This story was written by my friend Lori back in 2008. At that time many of us who blogged together really did spend too much time on the computer. I guess I still do. My thanks to Lori and as always I'd love to have a story from any of you. Send stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Parenting tips from an adult spanko

I already said in this post that spanking is not for children. But there are some parenting tip I want to share. Yes, yes, I know what this blog is supposed to be about. And yes, I know many of my readers have their kids grown and gone – but maybe there are a few who could use these ideas or you can suggest them for your grandkids.

 

I want to give two tips that help me enormously when my kids were little. 

 

Tip #1 – never put a baby in its crib asleep. I know this sounds crazy, but I’m serious. When you give that last feeding of the night and you’ve rock him or her a little and you have that baby sleeping in your arms, it’s so tempting to tiptoe back to the nursery and slip that sleeping bundle into the crib without wakening them. Don’t do it!

 

Talk to the baby as you take him or her to bed, you don’t need to fully rouse them, but try to get them to open their eyes a bit as you coo to them. Then when you place them in the crib, they're drowsy and ready to sleep. We’re trying to get them to process in their new little minds that this is the place to go sleep. Then when they wake during the night, if they aren't wet or hungry, just awake, they’ll cry for a minute, realized that they are where they go to sleep and they will drift off again. If you rock them to sleep every night then in order to get back to sleep they’ll need you to rock them again and you have a vicious cycle. I’m not promising that they’ll never wake up and cry but this really worked for me. Remember kids deserve the chance to learn to sleep on their own.

 

Tip # 2 – When you pick up your toddler from daycare after work you come home, tired and rushed. You need to change, to start dinner preparation, maybe a few minutes of house cleaning and the millions of other things that need doing… and your toddler is fussy! They are pulling on you, whining, crying – driving you nuts! Try this: come in, sit in your favorite chair, take your toddler into your lap and prepare to sit there until they decide to get down. Ask them yes or no questions about their day, tell them a story, let them play with the buttons on your blouse, anything they like. (NO PHONES) 

 

I got this advice and decided to try it wondering how long I would be sitting there with so much to do. The first day we sat almost ninety minutes. But we did have a good time. The next day I tried it again, he sat there fifteen minutes then crawled down and began playing with his toys. The third day, I sat and took him on my lap and he immediately squirmed to get down – he had things to do! All it really took was one afternoon showing him he could have my undivided attentions for as long as he wanted it. Once he knew it was there he didn’t need it that much and peace reigned.

 

Okay, enough tips. I’ll give you the two statements Mollie reminded me of that she hated the most, but fully admits that they worked and that she plans to use them some day. It went something like this.

 

Mollie: Can I spend tomorrow night with Susie?

Me: I’m not sure. Let me talk to your dad and see we have any plan for tomorrow night or the morning after.

Mollie: Please, please I really want to go. Can I? Can I? Please, please, please?

Me: Oh, you have to know right this second? That’s easy, the answer’s no. 

Mollie: No, wait, I don’t have to know right now. Think about it, okay.

Me: Great, I’ll talk to your dad and let you know soon.

 

As she got older and began something like this, I’d just ask, “Do you have to know right now?” and she would hush. She did hate it but it was effective.

 

The second one is that age old statement, loved by parents and hated by kids for hundreds of years – Because I said so.

 

I didn’t use this often. I saw nothing wrong with explaining my reasoning to my kids. Especially as they got older but even when they were young I’d often discuss things with them. But sometimes that age old saying came in handy. Here’s an example (and I’m stealing this straight from John Rosemond, a well-known child psychologist I admire greatly.)

 

Ten-year-old kid to mom: Can I go camping with my friends tonight?

 

Mom: Are there any adults going?

Kid: No, but Tommy brother is going , he’s thirteen.

Mom: Sorry kid, you can’t go.

Kid: Why not?

Mom: Because I said so.

Kid: That’s not a reason!

Mom: Okay, let’s pretend you want to know the reason. It’s not safe for you all to be out in the woods without an adult. You’d want a fire and…

Kid interrupts: No, Mom, seriously we’ll be safe. We know how to be careful with fire and Dan is thirteen…

Mom: See, you didn’t want to know my reasons. You wanted me to change my mind. So basically the reason you can’t go is, because I said so.

 

Again it’s not something to be over used by parents, but sometimes it’s the simplest answer when all they really want is for you to change your mind and you know you are not going to.

 

One last parenting post after Fantasy Friday tomorrow and then I’ll stop. But I do have to tell you about the punishment Mollie dreaded like the plague.

What are your thoughts on spanking children?

Were you spanked as a child? Were your parents? What about your kids? So many books and stories have the women say, “You want to spank me, like I was a child?” We talk about spanking a lot out here, but I’m curious about what people think now days, because the idea of spanking children has changed a lot in the past fifty years. 

 

Spanking was the norm here in the south as I grew up. Country children were ‘whooped’ or ‘switched’ while more sophisticated

parents spanked or paddled their kids. Paddling was allowed in schools – it actually still is, thought only an idiot administrator would use it now. When a teacher was going to paddle a child another teacher needed to be there to witness. The first year I taught I was asked to witness a paddling. The male teacher paddled an 8^th grade girl for chewing gum. I was new and green and went to witness because I didn’t know what else to do. I felt then, and still feel, that both of them enjoyed the encounter too much.  But I sure as hell didn’t! I finally got up my courage (a very unusual thing at the time) and told that teacher to never ask me to be a witness again. He didn’t.

 

I was spanked as a child, rarely, but it happened and I have no doubt I’d done something to deserved it. I grew up with no fear of my parents and I still love them dearly although they passed many years ago. I know my father and his six rowdy brothers were on the receiving end of a belt or a hairbrush more than a few times. And as fine grown men I could see the love and respect they felt for both their parents. So I don’t go along with the assertion that if a child is spanked they will grow up to hate and fear their parents nor do I believe that they will all become serial killers. 

 

My own children were spanked a time or two, but it was a rarity. I’ve written about this before but when Mollie was almost four she took the baby powder and covered my whole bedroom – we had dark blue carpet at the time. It was a mess! And very hard to clean. I sent her to her room for a time out – about fifteen minutes and explained to her what I was upset about and to leave the baby powder alone! Then I spent hours cleaning and doing laundry. 

 

The next day she did it again! Let’s just say mommy wasn’t happy. I marched her to her room and told her she was getting a spanking. And she got one – about four swats on a fully-clothed bottom. I doubt she really felt them and I know it didn’t hurt, but that ‘spanking’ impressed upon her how very upset I was with her. When she got up the next morning she came to me and said, "Mommy I been tinking. I don't tink I'm going to powder your room today." I told her I thought that she had made a wise decision and she doesn't seem to hate or resent me today.

 

I talked to my kids and they listened – something I fear we’re losing as both parent and children spiral further into phone addiction. I did a lot of discipline by watching TV with them. When a kid would do something stupid or dangerous on a show, I’d say something like, “Nana and Granddaddy would have _______ if I’d done that.” Or maybe, “Wow, what would you have done if that was your kid?” And it would start a real discussion without me lecturing or have them feeling like I was fussing at them.

 

So having said all this, would I recommend using spanking as a discipline tool for children today? While deep in my secret soul I’m not against a stern face and a moderate swat to the behind of a young child doing something they KNOW they shouldn’t do, I would have to say no, I do not recommend spanking children.

 

The reason? I’ve run across too many parents throughout my life, and especially in my teaching career, who are crazy as hell!  In my head I hear the word spanking in reference to a child and think of those few swats to the butt, but others picture yanking off a belt and beating the child severely. So because of all the crazies in the world, I give a firm ‘no, never!’ to spanking children.

If this were an actual picture of my kids 

it would be Mollie pulling LJ's hair.

But I do have some good ideas on disciplining children. I never gave advice when my kids were young, because I didn’t know if I was right or how they might turn out. But they turned out well and I’m going to post some things I think worked well. I know a good portion of my readers won’t have any use for this so I’ll give you fair warning to skip my next post. A girl has to have something to write about.

Fantasy Friday Revival - From the Journal of Dr. Spankenstiein

I am so happy that Friday has finally arrived, and with it another wonderful story. This one is from a man's point of view.

From the Journal of Dr. Spankenstein

She’s waggling again. This behavior would have likely gone unnoticed by the casual observer. But being a trained scientist, I notice these things: the subtle sway of her hips, the sparkle in her eyes, her out-thrust chin. Just as honeybee workers perform their waggle dance to relay information to their sisters in the hive, my mate performs hers to relay her need to me. It is such a primal part of her that I doubt if she even knows she’s doing it. If I’ve read her correctly, she is need of a recreational spanking.

Penelope and I had been married almost 6 years before we discovered her need for spanking. Coming from a very proper background, it had taken her a while to loosen up enough to experiment in the bedroom. We tried light bondage a bit, but we really struck a chord when I lightly spanked her bottom. She really took to it and asked that it become a permanent feature in our play. She even took a subscription to Sassy Lady, a magazine that featured fantasy spanking stories. We even purchased a few tools of the trade. She began to crave more severe treatments. She had truly found her niche.

This changed 4 years later with the birth of our first child. We no longer had the time, energy, or privacy. After nearly a decade of Penelope either being pregnant or lactating, we finally got our bedroom back to ourselves. She began to crave it again. Her favorite magazine had gone under during our hiatus. She struck out on the internet and discovered a bold new world. Like a bee sampling flowers, she sampled blogs and sites until she found the perfect fit for her. It seems she really likes a mix of domestic discipline and erotic spankings. She bravely explained her needs to me and I have worked diligently to fulfill them.

Being a trained observer, I’ve learned to look for the verbal and nonverbal cues that she displays to work out the actions that best address her needs. I’ve concluded that she needs two different treatments depending upon the situation. The first is what I call a therapeutic or punitive spanking when she is under a lot of strain or has wronged a friend or family member. Most of my cues are verbal. She could be snapping more frequently at the children, using the flat “I’m fine” voice, or The Voice (think Hillary Clinton after being asked an unflattering question). These are the more severe spankings that contain harder strokes, last longer, and usually involve multiple implements. The act is almost an act of contrition or emotional release for her and she is usually greatly relieved and calmed afterwards.

The other type, I’ve labeled a recreational spanking. In this case the horny little minx simply wants her bottom reddened for the sensation of it. My cue for this one is usually nonverbal, she waggles. This is the type that I’m faced with tonight. After we’ve gotten our brood to sleep, I instruct her to lock our bedroom door, disrobe, and get on all fours on the bed. I start out slow by rubbing and kneading her shapely bottom to increase blood flow in the target area. I then give her a rapid succession of bare-handed swats. This is followed by more kneading and rubbing. Since she has been particularly good this week, I next use her favorite paddle, a medium-sized hardwood paddle with lots of thud. 

After about a dozen whacks with this beauty, her skin becomes flushed, her knees begin to weaken and her reddened little behind begins to perform a very different waggle dance, one whose meaning is both unmistakable and irresistible………oh yeah………I think we’ve created a monster.

~o~

I do like a story from the man’s point of view. We don’t have nearly enough input from some of the guy out here. This was written by Carye’s Papa Shrek. Carye was a very active participant out here many years ago and I'd sure love to see her back. If you, or your man, would enjoy trying a story please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Update on Little Island

I saw in on GMA this morning. I felt it was too short and they didn't show my little boy - an outrage, but it did show a very different and wonderful park for the city.  If you'd like to see more pictures, check it out here!

Little Island

Read today. *Time sensitive*

This is time sensitive since it's going to be on TV Thursday morning. Nearly two years ago my son began talking about a job he really wanted. It combined two things that made the job perfect for him. It was the creation of a raised park that would be concentrating on performances. He worked at the Highline Park in NYC for ten years so he knows all about running a raised park and his first love is theater/performance. As you might have guessed he wasn’t the only one wanting the job. But after many interviews and meeting, he got the job! I had one happy kid who headed into his new career. 

All that was just about two weeks before Covid sent everyone home. So for the past fourteen months he’s worked from his apartment to help get this park up and running through zoom meetings with people he’d barely met. But they did it! The park is called Little Island and it opens officially this Friday. Thursday morning Robin Roberts is doing a walk through with the founder on Good Morning America. Gail King has been there too and spoke briefly with LJ when she did. No cameras then however.

Little Island was built out over the water and it’s supposed to resemble a floating leaf. I’m looking forward to seeing it the next time I go to NY. I’m very proud that LJ played a big part in getting this park off the ground! So watch Good Morning America on Thursday morning or go to littleisland.org and check it out. I wish they were interviewing LJ. I have no doubt he's better looking than the one they've chosen. I hope I'm giving you the correct day of the walk through. But this is the information I've been given.

The way I picture submission

I enjoyed reading Morningstar's post on Submission, Is it Nature or Nurture? She ends with these questions:

So tell me - what does submissive mean to you? What does it look like??? What is it you are all working towards ???? 

AND finally 

WHY?

My experience and Morningstar’s would be on opposite ends of a scale of TTWD/BDSM but it doesn’t mean we can’t understand one another. All I’ve ever really done with submission is fantasize about it. But I’ve fantasized about it for more than fifty years. My fantasy is that of a loving dominant – who puts my needs and well-being above all else and will use spanking as tool to make sure I follow the rules. The rules that were only put there for my safety, not for his pleasure.

 

All of these thought and feelings were poured into my Cassie books. I know many of you have read some of them and if you haven’t I sure wish you’d try at least one. But Cassie’s ‘submission’ isn’t like the one Morningstar describes. In fact I had an editor tell me, “A real submissive wouldn’t say such things about her dominant.” I had to laugh, I wrote back, “While Tom is dominant, Cassie is no submissive. She does acknowledge him as HOH and has agreed to submit to being spanked, she will still try to get out of it if it’s at all possible. She will argue to get her way and because Tom adores her she often gets it. But when she goes too far he is there protecting her from anything and everything – including herself. She’s fisty and doesn’t like taking orders from anyone, even Tom. But he’s still there, steady as a rock to keep her safe. And through all her fussing – she knows he will always have her back.

 

That’s what I fantasied about for 50 years. Knowing in the end my dominate man would have the last word.

 

But that damned reality always seems to creep in. When I got up my courage to come out to Nick and felt comfortable enough with myself to offer my gift of submission to him, he basically said ‘No thanks.’ He wasn’t being rude or hateful it’s just NOT his thing. And he could not perceive the whole concept. He was willing to play with it at first – but only as a silly game. He had no idea the power I was offering (or rather, trying to force on) him.

 

One tiny example. Work was stressful and way too often I would find myself at the vending machine getting something chocolate to ‘help me through the day.’ When Nick would say, “You know you probably need to try to cut back on the snacking at work.” And when he did I would find myself shrugging about it as I ate my candy bar.

 

When he would say, “That’s it – no snacking at school.” I never went near the candy machine. Saying to myself, “Nick said no.” It was never a fight or struggle, it was freeing. Nick had said no.

 

That was over a decade ago – and he probably only said things like that two to three times. I got over wanting/expecting it in real life and just went back to fantasy.

 

Would it work now?  No, that ship has sailed.

Finally back to Morningstar’s questions: So tell me - what does submissive mean to you? 

It means someone cares enough about me to watch over me and make sure I do want I should. That he watches me and always 'sees' me. Feeling this would make me want to do anything he asked.

What does it look like??? 

It looks like a loving relationship. It would pretty normal to people looking in. But he and I would know.

What is it you are all working towards ???? 

Peace and harmony 95% of the time and the other 5% with him laying down the law, me fussing and complaining and meaningful spanking ensuing. When we first started out and I was able to really try, it lifted an enormous weight off of me, it provided freedom. It made me feel soft and feminine and sexy. It was a lovely feeling.

AND finally 

WHY? 

To give me a sense of belonging, of peace, of happiness and of being loved and cared for.

Fantasy Friday Revival - Riding Bareback

Good to see you here for Fantasy Friday. Today's story is a great one from Annie, my anonymous friend. It's a long one, so if you don't have time this morning, don't forget to come back. I hope you enjoy...

RIDING BAREBACK

Evan Taylor swore out loud as he locked up the brakes and swung his battered pick up onto the shoulder. Backing up rapidly he jumped from the truck, shouting before his feet hit the pavement.

“What in the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get run over?”

As he got closer he groaned, one look at her and he knew she was trouble. Leaning insolently against the side of a white sports car, smoke from the overheated engine framing her, black hair tumbling down her back and laughing. At him.

“Look lady, I don’t know where you’re from, but around here we do not jump out in front of traffic. I would have stopped anyway, but you scared the crap out of me and damn near got yourself killed.”

Stomping over to the car and peering into the smoke rising from the engine, he tried to ignore his mounting irritation. He was two hours late, the auction did not go well, he had stock waiting to be fed and this car was way past being fixed on the side of the road.

She took one look at the tight pull of faded blue jeans and the work shirt straining across his back and decided this was exactly the kind of adventure she was looking for.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I was afraid you wouldn’t stop and I would be stranded out here in the middle of nowhere.” She mustered a winning smile to go with the contrite tone and, sure enough, he fell for it.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. You really did scare me though. Where are you headed?”

She gazed up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. This was definitely shaping up to be a world class, hero rescues maiden in distress type, adventure.

“I’m not sure, it’s one of those travel around, see the country kind of vacations. I was just driving along and I heard a loud pop and it quit running and smoke started coming out.”

“Well, it looks like the engine is fried, it’ll have to be towed back to town, but I don’t have time right now. If you tell me where you’re staying I’ll be happy to give you a lift.”

“But, I don’t have a place to stay. I was counting on making it to Memphis tonight, but I don’t know what to do now.” She let a few tears well up and looked forlorn.

Mumbling under his breath about how much he hated to see a woman cry, he stalked around the car, jerked open the door and started pulling luggage out.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t have a choice, you will have to go with me. I can’t leave you on the side of the road and I have animals waiting to be fed. I’m already late.”

This was sounding better and better. She grabbed her knapsack and followed him to his truck, offering irreverent prayers to nameless gods that there would not be a Mrs. Blue Eyes waiting for them.

Gear stowed in the back, they headed down the road. After a few minutes silence she ventured an introduction.

“My name is KT, or at least that’s what everybody calls me. My whole name is Katerina Theodosia, isn’t that a terrible thing to do to a girl, so just call me KT. And, thanks for stopping, I was starting to get scared.”

“I’m Evan Taylor, I have a farm a few miles from here. I have to tend my animals, you’re welcome to make some phone calls and figure out what you’re going to do. I think the car will need a fair amount of work, not to mention a tow.”

“Couldn’t your wife feed the animals for you?”

“Not hardly.” He snorted at the mere thought. “My wife left when she found out just how much work is involved. She seemed to think a hundred acres meant the money just grew on trees.”

The bitterness of his tone satisfied her that there was no competition. She sighed and snuggled down in the seat, quiet for the rest of the ride.

“Why don’t you get this paved?”

“First of all, it would cost thousands of dollars I don’t have. Besides, I like it this way. Keeps my privacy.”

Bouncing along on the dirt road, KT started having second thoughts about this adventure. She wanted something different but this was a little too rustic to be quaint. Just as she was about to ask him to take her to a motel they rounded a curve and pulled up in front of the most beautiful place she had ever seen.

A log cabin nestled in among some tall oak trees with a neat yard, completely fenced in a low, weathered wooden picket. Off to one side small fenced pastures surrounded a series of small barns and outbuildings, but, the other side made the trip worthwhile. The farm occupied a bluff that dropped sharply giving a stunning view of a lush green valley and rolling hills. The sun was about to set, drenching the valley with a rainbow of golden light. KT ran to the edge of the yard, entranced by the storybook setting.

Her obvious appreciation of the scenery bumped her up a notch in his estimation. She was just another city gal, fancy clothes, fancy car, but she had some taste. He couldn’t help noticing she had a stunning figure, too. Her designer jeans looked like they had been painted on, but it was a hell of a canvas. As she leaned over the fence watching the sunset he stood and stared at the most perfect ass he had seen in years.

Suddenly he was surrounded by a yipping, jumping herd of dogs. That was enough to remind him he had work to do and none of it involved her backside. She turned, but seemed uncertain about the dogs, which stood as a group staring at her.

“Will they bite?”

“Only if you attack me, or I tell them to.”

“Good doggies, nice doggies.” She took a step forward.

“It’s okay, Ralph, Jack, Susie say hello.”

At his reassurance they all leaped forward, not jumping on her, but licking, wagging tails and leaping into the air around her. She cautiously put a hand forward to stroke the closest head.

“They’re like silk, what kind of dogs are they?”

“A special cross breed that I raise and train, they have blue heeler and pit bull in them and make good working dogs for small places. They are great with kids, too.”

His pride in them was obvious and even though they had gathered around her as soon as Evan walked away they rushed to follow him. He headed for one of the small barns, calling over his shoulder,

“The house is unlocked, you can use the phone in the kitchen.”

KT ran after him, she wasn’t ready to deal with that yet, and she was curious about the rest of his animals.

“Can’t I see the animals first? I will call and get everything arranged, but I want to see the pigs and the cows first.”

“This isn’t a pig farm, or a cattle farm for that matter. I raise dogs, chickens, and a few goats and occasionally I train horses. If you want to come to the barn you can, but do as I say. Betty has a new litter and she doesn’t take kindly to strangers getting too close to her babies.”

The inside was dim with shafts of light slanting in between the boards. In a corner a tail started thumping and at least a dozen tiny fur balls poured over a low board and wobbled toward them. The mother seemed happy to let them go until she saw KT. With a low menacing growl she leaped over the pups and placed herself between them and this stranger, fur bristling.

“Do not touch the pups, or make any sudden moves.” He cautioned her as he reached down to stroke her head murmuring softly.

“Can’t you just tell her it’s okay, like the other dogs?”

“They didn’t have babies to protect. Just stand still. She’ll settle down when she sees you are no threat and the pups will be chewing on your shoes in no time.”

After a few tense minutes of inspection Betty gave her grudging approval. While Evan carried feed and finished his chores KT sat on the barn floor covered in wiggling fur balls. Evan walked into the barn and stopped. Framed in the last light, hair wild, fancy jeans dirty, romping with the puppies, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“You act like you’ve never seen a litter of pups before.”

“Not up close. My father was very strict, no animals were allowed. I’ve seen dogs, but never this close, or this many. I took riding lessons, he felt that was enough.”

Evan couldn’t imagine a childhood deprived of the joys of raising your own pets. How did a child learn about responsibility and where did the unconditional love come from? Certainly not from a father that didn’t believe in puppies.

“I’ve finished the feeding, the pups need to get back in their box and have their dinner, too. Come up to the house and wash up. I’ll round up something to eat while you make your calls.”

KT considered telling him the truth, he seemed like a reasonable man, but it was too risky. One word from him and her father would be on his way. The hard part was what to tell him instead.

She insisted on helping with dinner, not out of any love of cooking, but it delayed the time when she would have to make explanations. Fortunately, dinner was a simple matter of delicious fresh vegetables from the garden and rice left over from a previous meal.

The moment of truth had arrived, no more stalling or he would start to get suspicious. Faced with telling him the truth or providing a plausible lie, KT fell back on time honored tradition and burst into tears. At first embarrassed, then uncomfortable, Evan finally held her gently as she sobbed. Through sighs and shudders and nose blowing on his bandanna, she leaked a mostly true tale of her father’s money and dominance, a forced wedding to further his empire, and her narrow escape from tyranny. All those romance novels consumed under the covers at boarding school paid off. It was just the right tone to bring out the knight in shining armor instinct.

“You have had a rough time, I knew I didn’t like your daddy when you told me he didn’t like animals.”

“Oh, I just knew you would understand! I feel so safe here. You don’t know what it means to me to be safe for a few days while I sort out the car and decide where I’m going. Thank you!”

KT, never one to take any chances, threw her arms around Evan’s neck and smothered any protest he might have to an unexpected houseguest by raining kisses over his face. He may not have seen it coming, but the inconvenience of sharing the cabin paled next to the feeling of her lush curves pressed tightly against him.

“Well, maybe we can work something out. I could use some help around here, I have a horse coming in tomorrow that will take up my time. You can do some of the feeding and watering, I guess.”

Evan gently disengaged himself from her gratitude. She may be a city girl, but she was feeling mighty good in his arms. He had been too long without a woman to ignore his reaction. Just wouldn’t do to ravage the houseguest on the kitchen floor. Not on her first day, anyway.

KT, caught up in her act, was a little disappointed at how easily he set her aside. She was hoping for a definite move on his part. Once he showed his interest, then she would be in control of the situation. He hustled her through the cabin, pointing out where everything was stored and producing sheets for the couch. He didn’t even try to coax her into his room, much less his bed. She’d give him till tomorrow to shape up and fall helplessly in lust with her.

Evan lay in the dark staring at the ceiling. That was trouble on the hoof in the other room and he knew it. But, he couldn’t stop thinking about her arms wrapped around his neck, her soft lips against his cheek, and those thoughts led straight to slipping her out of those ridiculous designer britches. It was only for a few days, she’d be gone and life would be back to normal. He was pretty sure he could refrain from making a complete ass of himself that long.

The smell of coffee brewing at an obscenely early hour roused KT from the best nights sleep she had had in weeks. She could hear the shower running so slipped out of bed to grab a quick cup before he came out. It came as a great surprise to all concerned when Evan walked in the back door just as KT grabbed for the coffee pot. Both froze, staring at the other.

“I thought you were in the shower.” She tried to sound put upon but was distracted by the large expanse of thatched chest that ended in a low-slung pair of worn Levi’s.

“I was watering the stock, sorry if I startled you.” He felt glued to the spot. Her white tee shirt clung to every curve, leaving nothing to his imagination, and stopped just short of covering a pair of silk panties that were begging for his attention.

Not one to miss an opportunity, KT sauntered out of the kitchen, making sure he got a good look before grabbing a bag and heading to the shower. Evan sat at the kitchen table, swearing softly at himself.

“I will not follow her around like some dumb animal. I will not break out in a cold sweat, or a hot one either, just cause she has a fine ass. Okay, I admit it, she has the finest ass I have ever seen in 34 years of looking. But she is definitely just passing through. I do NOT need another city girl who will run off when it looks too much like work.” Having talked himself out of tackling her as she stepped out of the shower he found a clean shirt and finished the morning chores.

KT took her time getting ready, making sure every little detail was perfect. He was almost to the point of being wrapped around her little finger. This outfit should push him over the edge. Stepping back for one last check in the mirror she couldn’t help admiring herself. Tight jeans, low cut sweater, not too fancy but definitely highlighted the things he was staring at earlier. Calculating her entrance, KT flowed into the living room with all the swivel she could muster only to find a note on the table.

Went to town. Back later. Evan

“Well, isn’t that romantic, I can’t believe he left me stranded here, all alone, no car, no one to talk to.”

It is hard to work up a good righteous indignation without an audience. She spent the rest of the morning working on a plan for the next phase of her big adventure. Evan found her, sound asleep on his bed, curled into a ball, looking totally harmless. Not wanting to startle her, he gently pulled a strand of hair away from her face and quietly called her name. Moaning in her sleep, she slipped into his arms, murmured “love you” and snuggled close.

Evan's breath caught at the feel of her. It had been far too long since any woman had felt this good, this right, hell, this dangerous. Flashbacks of his marriage saved him from making a complete fool of himself. He eased her away and stalked off to the barn, muttering about treacherous women.

KT couldn't believe him. She knew he wanted her, she could feel the desire rolling off of him. But just when she was sure he was about to surrender to the inevitable he stomped off in a huff. No man had ever walked away from her and Mr. Evan Taylor was not about to be the first. If the temptress didn't get him the lost little girl routine was a sure thing. He may be noble and deny his urge to rip her clothes off, but there was no way he could resist her helpless tears. He just wasn't the type to leave a lost kitten out on the porch in the rain.

Evan finished the chores as slowly as possible trying to make sure she was out of his bed by the time he returned. He wasn't sure he could resist another round of her teasing, and there was no way she was innocent. She was begging for it, and that was putting it mildly. Maybe he should confront her, oh right, and say what?

"Golly gee miss, please don't give a poor lonely man any reason to think you want him to fuck your brains out." She'd get a real kick out of that. Heading back to the house through the dusky twilight he was surprised to see lights on in the kitchen and the aroma of something wonderful wafting through the air. He took his time washing up and approached with caution.

It was like a scene from some movie. There she was, covered in a big apron, hair curling around her face as steam rose from a large pot on the stove. There were biscuits on the table, fresh flowers from the garden, the table set for two. She looked up and smiled.

"You're just in time. What would you like to drink? I made some iced tea."

She looked like a totally different woman. The tight jeans and sweater replaced by a soft cotton dress, face scrubbed clean, hair tied up in a simple knot. Gone was the wild gypsy temptress, in her place a sweet, smiling girl.

"Thought you didn't cook?"

"Oh, I can cook, I just have to be in the mood."

She heaped his plate with pasta tossed with fresh asparagus and passed him a bowl of salad. Content to enjoy the first meal anyone had cooked for him in years he dug in, leaving the conversation to her. She chatted on about her day, making phone calls, enjoying the peace of the farm, and playing with the pups.

By the time he pushed his plate back she was ready for act two. Gazing up at him from beneath lowered lashes she let her lip quiver just a bit as she thanked him again for rescuing her. She even managed to let a single teardrop roll down her cheek.

"It has been so long since I have been able to relax, feel safe. You just don't know what this means to me. I'm tired of running and even more tired of worrying. This is a paradise for me. I don't know how to thank you."

Right on cue KT burst into tears, not anything showy, just a little ladylike weeping. Enough to get him out of his chair to gather her in his arms, but not enough to redden her eyes or damage the carefully crafted scene.

"I don't know why you are so scared of your father, but you are safe here, I won't let him, or anyone else hurt you. Just hush, now, everything will get sorted out." Extremely pleased at the way her plan was working out, KT ventured a peek at his face. The genuine concern she saw there almost made her feel guilty. The jolt of electricity that arced between them as their lips hovered only inches apart came as a surprise to her. He was supposed to fall madly and deeply for her, she was only supposed to be having an adventure. Her last thought before his mouth claimed hers was the sense of falling into deep and dangerous waters.

The first touch and the passion raged between them. Like a wild fire burning out of control, there was no turning back. He might have resisted her teasing but there was no escape from the complete surrender as their bodies melted together. All thought of games lost in the simple need to feel more. Taking her face in his hands, Evan pulled back long enough to see the wanting in her face.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Oh yes, this is what I want."

Evan scooped her up into his arms and carried her to his room. Placing her gently on the bed he lowered his mouth to hers, one hand sliding up to cup her breast as he eased down beside her. Just then a truck pulled up the gravel drive sending the dogs into a barking frenzy.

"Damn. I forgot the time. That'll be Jerry, delivering that horse. You stay right here. Don't move. I'll hustle him along and be right back."

Jumping up and straightening his clothes he was grateful it was full dark out, less likely Jerry would ask embarrassing questions.

KT sat on the porch, grateful for the dark that allowed her to observe without being seen. She needed a little distance to sort out her feelings. Part of her would like to beat Jerry over the head for daring to interrupt. Another part felt as if she had narrowly escaped an unforeseen danger. Watching the two men work the horse into the corral, then lean on the gate talking she was sure they were discussing the horse, but every line of Evan's body was taut with tension. She should be happy, she had him right where she wanted him, but suddenly she wanted him to want her. Not fall for her manipulations, but just plain want her.

Horse stabled, pens checked, dogs locked out to prevent any further disruptions, Evan slipped in the back door ready to pick up where they left off. The house was dark, just a lamp in the bedroom burning. Smiling at the thought of her waiting for him in his bed he slipped into the shower to get rid of the barn. Minutes later, trying hard to appear nonchalant, he walked into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel, only to find the bed empty. A quick search revealed her small form, curled up and sound asleep on the couch. Hurt and frustrated, Evan stalked back to the bathroom for a colder shower.

The next morning, determined to act as if nothing was amiss, Evan roused her just after daybreak.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet me in the barn." And he was out the door.

KT stretched and threw on jeans and a tee shirt. At least he didn't seem angry about her ducking out on him last night. Not sure how to approach the subject she hurried to the barn hoping he wouldn't throw her out, even if she did deserve it.

Evan carefully showed her how to gather eggs, feed the chickens and goats, and fix the special food for Betty, who was still nursing her pups. He kept a light and constant conversation going about all of the animals, what she was expected to do for them and when.

"As long as you're staying here these are your responsibilities. No free lunch on a farm, everybody has to work. Just stay away from the horse, I'll start his training today, but for now he has to depend on me for everything. Any questions?"

KT was amazed at how calm and matter of fact he was treating her. She nodded and eagerly got to work, making sure each animal got a minute of special attention. Leaving the pups for last, she sat on the floor letting them crawl over and under her legs while their mother got her breakfast in peace. Realizing she had been in the barn for quite awhile she shooed the pups back to Betty and wandered to the house looking for her next job. There were leftover biscuits with homemade jam on the table along with a note.

Working in town today. Water the garden. Fix dinner. Back 5PM.

A leisurely breakfast on the porch surrounded by well-mannered dogs waiting for a crumb to drop restored her good mood. She had a whole day to herself. No one knew where she was, and there were baby goats to meet.

Watering the garden turned into definite dinner plans, she returned with her shirt covered in dirt and bulging with veggies for a stir-fry. Washing them off at the sink she watched the horse wandering through the corral. All horses like carrots and he was the only animal that hadn't had some sort of treat. Armed with a fresh carrot she headed to the corral, seated on the top fence rail she dangled a carrot until he wandered over. Delighted by the velvety touch of his nose as he snatched a piece from her palm, she stroked his head and scratched behind his ears. He seemed friendly enough. On impulse she lured him close with the last nub of carrot and swung her leg over his back, intending a quick ride around the corral.

Evan pulled into the drive just in time to see her land on the horses back for a split second before one quick buck threw her through the air. Evan raced to the fence, trying to distract the horse from trampling her, certain she was seriously injured. As he rushed to her side, ready to make a wild dash to the county hospital, she sat up, laughed and jumped to her feet ready to try again.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing? I told you to leave that horse alone. You scared ten years off of me, I thought you were hurt."

The sound of her laughter interrupted his tirade. Without thinking he threw her over his shoulder, satisfied that the jolt knocked the wind out of her and at least stopped her laughter. Bt the time he reached the house she was beating her fists on his back and demanding to be put down. Happy to oblige he sat on the end of the porch set her on her feet between his knees and tossed her over one leg. His large calloused hand crashed down changing her tune to one of outrage.

"Who do you think you are? Let me up this instant. I'll have you arrested."

Her threats continued as his hand crashed down over and over onto her upturned bottom. Even through the heavy jeans the heat was rapidly building, soon threats gave way to apologies and promises to be good.

"Are you going to listen to me?"

"Yes. Yes, I'll do anything you say just stop, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Evan stopped abruptly, pulled her to her feet to face him.

"Did I tell you to leave the horse alone?"

KT nodded, head hanging, unable to look Evan in the eye.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." She sniffled.

"Damn right it won't happen again, I intend to see to it your butt is too sore to sit on anything, including a horse."

With that Evan unfastened her jeans and jerked them to her knees. Screeching she caught his intent just as he threw her across his lap again. The tiny thong underwear provided no protection as his hand once again descended with a loud crack. One arm wrapped around her waist, he had no trouble keeping her bottom right where he wanted it. All of his frustration at the games she had played, his anger that she deliberately defied his instructions, and his fear that she was hurt went straight into her bottom.

After several minutes of hard spanking her entire butt was bright red and her apologies had given way to sobbing. Resting his hand on her burning skin he asked,

"Have you learned your lesson?"

"I'm so..so…sorry," she hiccupped, hanging limp over his lap.

Looking at her perfect ass, crimson with his handprints he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Setting her on his lap, he handed her his bandana and held her close until she stopped sobbing. Carrying her inside he laid her tenderly on the bed and applied soothing lotion to her burning backside. Even red-eyed from crying and dirty from her fall she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Somehow the fear of losing her made everything clear. He wanted her. City girl or not she was meant for him and he was going to keep her here until she understood this was where she belonged.

Pulling her jeans the rest of the way off he turned her over and looked into her eyes. KT may have been confused about how they got here, but this was exactly where she wanted to be.

"Tell me you want me."

"I want you," she whispered just before his mouth covered hers.

As he slid inside her, he growled, "Next time you want to ride bareback, this is how it's done."

~o~

Thanks again Annie! I hope everyone enjoyed this one. I sure would love to give someone a place to share a story of your own. If you have one you've written or you're thinking of it, please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com