Anticipation…

I’m still waiting for Christmas.  Our Christmas this year will be January 7^th and I am looking forward to it. Now we’ve had some Christmas. We saw Nick’s family Christmas Eve. No, the warrior princess was not there neither was the youngest family member who is still under two. And yes, the idiot boy who won’t get vaccinated was there. I’m still very irritated with him and his grandparents, but in truth even if he had been fully vaccinated both mother of these little ones said they still wouldn’t have brought their vulnerable children around a group of nearly twenty people. There are just too many break-through cases these days.

On Christmas morning we decided we would each open one gift. Mollie had given her dad a wheelbarrow mostly because she wanted his old one. He got that Christmas morning because it was too hard to either wrap or keep hidden. 

 I gave Mollie a lock box for her house, because she leaves a key out and it makes me nervous. I had been hoping for socks or something like that, you know, just something small to open. That’s not what I got. Instead, I got a new MacBook Pro!

 

I’d already decided to get myself one, because sometime my old one would just shut down unexpectedly or I’d open it and have a white screen only. You can see my 'e' and 't' were just about used up. 

I had wanted Mollie to help me, so I’d know exactly what to get, but she’s been so busy lately I decided to wait until she was off for break before asking her. Before I could, she and Nick got together and did it on their own. There reason for giving it to me early was so I could get used to it while Mollie would be around for a few days. Very good reasoning, I think! I hope this one enjoys writing about Cassie as much as the old one did.

Fantasy Friday - The night before Christmas

A Merry Christmas to all! I realize it's Saturday but we have a wonderful new Fantasy Friday story today. Yes, I should have had it up yesterday, but I've had trouble knowing the day of the week it's been for a few days now. No problem I know you'll enjoy it just as well over the weekend.  

The story is from Alice who first wrote for us back in June of this year. You can check that story out here. But for now please enjoy...

The night before Christmas

     The preparation for Christmas day was finally finished and Sarah got wearily into bed. She was just dozing off, when a movement at the end of the bed startled her. She looked up to see a large dark figure sitting at the end of the bed. Before she could scream with fright a hand was gently laid on her and a voice said, ‘don’t worry, you have known of me since you were a little girl. I’ve just stopped by for a chat.’ He switched on a light he was carrying and she saw a familiar sight, the red robes of Father Christmas. ‘Who are you?’ she gasped. 

‘You know who I am, we just haven’t met in person before. I decided we needed a proper chat this year.’

‘That’s nice…….I think,’  said Sarah. 

‘I don’t climb down chimneys or that kind of nonsense, but I do like to check on people, and drop by if I think it will help.’ 

‘I don’t see how you plan to help me’ responded Sarah with a nervous laugh. She was trying to make sense of what was happening, was she dreaming?

‘Oh, I’m sure I can,’ said Father Christmas, ‘I’ve been keeping an eye on you’.

‘Really?’ Said Sarah, she wasn’t sure if this was good news or not.

‘I have, but tell me, how do you think the past year has gone?’

‘Oh, so, so’, she whispered nervously. ‘I don’t think I’ve done anything terrible’ she said, with another nervous laugh.

‘Of course you haven’t,’ he said gently. ‘You want to be good, and you worry a lot when you don’t manage it, but you do have a terrible habit of putting things off and causing yourself a lot of anxiety.’

‘Eeeek!  How did he know?’ Thought Sarah.

‘Ha, yes, though that isn’t likely to change now, I’ve had the habit too long!’ She was beginning to feel a little bit defensive. Who was this guy to judge her!

‘I’m not judging you’,  he said, as if he could read her thoughts. ‘You cause yourself a lot of misery and I want to help, if you want to be helped?’

‘You can work miracles then can you’, she replied a bit sarcastically, though she was trying not to get angry.

‘No, I can’t,’ he said gently again. ‘I can help you to make better decisions though, if you want me to’?

‘And how do you plan to do that’? She was still feeling a bit defensive.

‘I’m going to give you the spanking of a lifetime, you will feel cleansed, forgiven, and energised,ready for a new start. I’m going to give you the confidence to begin again and develop some good habits in the new year.’

She looked at him, how did he know, all those longings to let go of the past and start afresh?

‘I’ve known for a long time’ he said, answering her thoughts again. ‘This year I decided you are ready to acknowledge your longings, and accept the help I can give you. Am I right?’

This felt so weird, this guy knew her deepest desires, yet, instinctively she trusted him.

‘Yes,' she said, though her heart was in her mouth. She just knew that if she said no he would go and she would regret it forever.

‘All right,’ he said, ‘let's get started. Jump out of bed and take your pyjama bottoms off.’

He led her to the corner of the room and as she stood there he talked to her about all her little foolish habits, the ones that left her feeling anxious and unhappy. He told her that she was worth more than that, and she had it in her to change if she chose to. As he finished the lecture he led her back to the bed and pulled her across his knee. 

‘This is going to hurt,’ he said. ‘But you need it don’t you?’

‘Yes sir, ‘she said in a small voice.

He began with his hand and the spanking she had so often dreamed about became all too real, it hurt!

‘Ow! No, this hurts!' She shouted.

‘Of course it does,’ he said sternly. ‘There’s a lot of silly behaviour to deal with. Stop fighting and accept it.’ Soon her bottom was red and burning all over, he paused and fumbled in his pocket. 

‘This is a magic strap’ he said, as he began again, though the sensation was very different from his hand. ‘It wipes the slate clean, while leaving a deep impression.’

Oh no, this was really burning now. It felt like it was going on forever. She was yelling and struggling but he held her in a firm grip. After a while she let go and began to cry. She sobbed as he continued steadily strapping her bottom. Eventually he stopped and he rubbed his hand across her burning globes. 

‘Now Sarah’ he said gently, ‘I’m going to watch your progress with interest. This is a fresh start, you are going to be kind to yourself and starting slowly, develop some good new habits aren’t you?’

‘Yes sir,’ she said through her tears.

‘Into bed now, and sleep well.’

‘I come in other guises at other times of the year’ he warned. ‘Happy Christmas.’

She settled down, feeling calm again now despite her burning bottom, and fell asleep.

Sarah woke to Christmas day, what a strange dream she had last night, it felt so real. She turned over in bed and as her bottom touched the bedclothes she winced. Surely it must have been a dream? She got out of bed, noting that she was only wearing her pyjama top. She turned round and looked at her bottom in the mirror, it was sore looking, with patches of bruising.

She smiled to herself, sitting down was not going to be comfortable today, but what a lovely Christmas gift, a fresh start with a sore bottom! ‘Happy Christmas’ she said to herself.

~~

Thank you Alice! It was a great story and I appreciate you writing and sending it in. We always love a new story. If anyone has a Fantasy Friday for us, please, please send it in! You can send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Our own Christmas Miracle

Writing about how we celebrated Christmas the other day stirred up some memories. In fact it stirred up what I think is my very first real memory. This happened just a few days after my third birthday, and just a few days before Christmas. 

 

My dad had come home for lunch as he usually did. He ate his lunch as he teased my mother for watching soap operas – although he never left until the show was over. 

On his way back to work he took my grandmother to her hair appointment. Less than three minutes later his car hit a patch of ice and my dad’s car spun across the road and down into a ravine. They believe the car flipped three full times. 

 

This was back in the late 1950’s. There were no seat belts, no airbags and no safety glass. But there were other things in his car. There was a two way radio bolted to the dash – it was shorn off and flying through the car. He had a massive metal tool box open in the back. Not only was that big metal box flying around, but the individual tools also – hammers, screwdrivers, several big wrenches, you name the tool and it was probably in the box.

And he had one more thing in there. The heavy metal cash box he carried back and forth before they got a safe in his office. It was a heavy box and as it flew around the car three of the metal corners were caved in. 

 

All of these things, as well as massive shard of glass from the broken windows and my dad were tumbling together as the car rolled those three times. So what became of my dad? Someone following him saw the accident and phoned for help. Of course then meant going to a store or knocking on someone’s door to use the phone. When the ambulance got there, Dad was standing beside his car. His only injury was a broken collar bone.

 

That ‘first memory’ I mentioned was me standing on my parent's bed and my grandmother telling me that Daddy had hurt his arm and not to be asking him to pick me up. The very concept of my dad not being able to pick me up must have shocked it into my memory. We have a few pictures of him with his arm in a sling on Christmas morning. 

 

There was no real reason he should have survived that accident, at least not without severe injuries. But he did, and lived to celebrate Christmases with us until he was well into his eighties. It was our own Christmas miracle.

I wish all my readers a very 

Merry Christmas 

and I hope you get all the 

Christmas miracles 

you need. 

Can't argue with this

 This is one of my birthday presents from Nick.

 I can't say the man doesn't know me.

Cassie would agree.

Time marches on

Birthdays are exciting, especially when you hit those ‘big’ one. Remember turning ten, you were finally in double digits. Thirteen was super sweet. Sixteen meant freedom, I got my driver’s license that day and that felt amazing. When I turned eighteen I could legally by beer, I didn’t like it but I liked being able to buy it if I wanted. And then there was twenty-one – I was a complete legal adult, free to do whatever I wanted.

 

But it got me thinking then, what was the next exciting birthday? Well there’s… no that’s not so great. How about … nope, no real magic there. I finally decided it must be sixty-five so you could retire. Well that birthday rolled around for me yesterday. I’m already retired, but I did get to sign up for Medicare. I have to say it wasn’t as exciting as turning twenty-one, or eighteen, or sixteen or thirteen or even ten.

A friend took me to lunch. Mollie baked me  a cake and Nick gave me a birthday spanking with all the trimmings. My gym membership is now free and I get discounts on everything. You know, I guess it's pretty exciting  after all.

Christmas memories

My sister and I had the great good fortune of being raised by two parents who grew up in the height of the Great Depression. Mom came from a family of seven children, my dad came from a family with eight. Putting a roof over their heads and food on the table was the big concerns – not buying toys for Christmas.

My dad told me that his most exciting Christmas as a child was when he got four pieces of candy and a whole orange just for himself – he didn’t have to share with his brothers. Mom said when she was twelve her older sister got bought her a pair of roller skates, they were used but still worked fine! She would get tears in her eyes when she talked about it.

 

Gratefully there was plenty of love in those families to go around, and everyone was poor then so they ended up with only good memories. But they both also dreamed of extravagant Christmases. Their goal, as my sister and I came along, was to give us the Christmas of their dreams – and they did it!  

 

When I was growing up the ‘living room’ was for grown-ups’ only – with the exception of Christmas time. And Christmas mornings were so special. The living room could be completely closed off. There was the hall door, and one in the little den when we sat as a family and watched TV in the evening. I have no doubt that we got our parents up and a completely unreasonable hour and once we finally got Daddy out of bed, it was his job to go in and see if Santa had come. You see, as we were told, if Santa had come, Daddy would turn on the lights, if he hadn’t then we would all go back to bed. What was really happening, we learned as we got older, was that Daddy was getting his 8mm camera, with its huge flood lights, ready to film us coming in.

The light flooding the room made it as bright and sparkly as Disneyland. Stocking on the mantel overflowed, wrapped packages stacked to great heights sat under and behind the tree, and the amazing gifts from Santa sat unwrapped and dazzling in front of the tree. The two depression era children smiled and watched, as they saw their dreams fulfilled.

 

The Christmases with my children when they were little were also wonderful – they still are, even if they seldom happen on Christmas day anymore. But few things match the magic of childhood memories. For those of you who celebrate Christmas, what are some of your childhood memories? I’d love to read them if you have a blog, or you’re welcome to leave them in the comments if you’d like.

Things like this excite me!

You know how much I love writing. I particularly love writing about all my friends in Cassie's world. I was very happy when the people at AllAuthor recently asked me to do an interview with them. I wasn't just happy, I was delighted! I hope you'll enjoy reading it.

 

Romance writer, PK Corey has been writing in my head for decades. She writes about dominant men, strong women, intense love, and loyal friendships. Each and every book that PK Corey writes is fabulous from start to finish. She enjoys spending time with her grown children and her two Golden Retriever grand dogs. Read full interview...

Are you listening to me?

I just thought I’d tell you about an incident that happened after Nick colonoscopy. When we left the center they told him, ‘Consider yourself legally drunk for the rest of the day. No driving, no operating heavy equipment, don’t sign legal papers and don’t make important decisions.’ I drove us home and we both took a nap. 

 

Later that afternoon Nick had put on his ‘puttering around the yard’ clothes and headed out. I glanced up from my reading and smiled at him as he started out the door. I knew there was no chance of him staying inside all day. “Nothing strenuous,” I told him.

 

“I know,” he told me. “I’m just blowing out the rest of the gutters.” It took just a second for that to register. Blowing out the gutters, you mean like climbing on the roof with the leaf blower and walking around blowing out the leaves?”

 

“Oh no you are not!” I yelled.

 

Nick just grinned back at me and said, “Just wanted to make sure you were listening.”

 

This man is going to worry me to death one of these days.

I'll never understand Blogger

I read Morningstar’s post, ‘Lessons I have Learned’ and was reminded of a few things myself. That is the importance of linking other blogs. I’ve seldom linked people because I felt obligated. With rare exception I link people to make it easier for me to get to them and to see when they put up something new. 

 

Back in the day the blogs I linked were people, mostly women and mostly approaching middle age, who had discovered the joys of spanking. They were anxious to discuss this new part of their lives and the improvements in their sex lives were avidly discussed too. But just as importantly we discussed our everyday lives, kids, work, annoying bosses and of course the never ending laundry. They seemed like real people with way more than one interest. This is what drew me to their blogs and it still does when I come across one these days.

 

But now I can’t add a new blogs to my blog roll! Why not?  I’ll tell you.

 

I’ve been blogging for fifteen years and still I really don’t have any ideas how to ‘work’ blogger. I know how to write a post. I know how to add pictures and I know how add a link to another post. There, that’s the total of my knowledge. 

Years and years ago the lovely CeeCi created the format for all of my blogs, New Beginning, Cassie’s Space and PK Corey’s Reading Room. I still think Cassie’s Space is the most beautiful of the blogs! Anyway, on to my problem. At the bottom of each section there is usually a little ‘tool’ symbol. I click it and make the changes I want to make – like linking a new blog to my blog roll. 

 

Just the other day I was trying to add Enzo at Everyday Spankings to my blogroll and I realized the little tool symbol is missing. I know that this has happened before and then days to weeks later it’s back and I haven’t done a thing to make it leave or come back. How is it doing this and what do I do to fix it? What I’ve done so far is just wait.

 

I’m not going to bother CeeCi. We don’t talk regularly and she no longer blogs so I’m not about to ask her to wonder through my code to find this during a busy season for her. If anyone has ideas, I’m open to them. But I won’t be linking anyone until my little tools mysteriously find their way back.

And then my worst problem - several people have let me know that for some reason they can't comment on my blog. Being a bit comment obsessed, this really drives me nuts! I have it set to open to all comments, but apparently blogger thinks it knows best. I'd love a solution to this also. I do know that when it wouldn't let ME comment on my own blog, I used Firefox or Google instead of Safari and that worked. Oh well, you can always reach me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com

 

Fantasy Friday - Priorities

As promised, here's Sunny's brand spanking new story. You can look back on her blog, Aimless Ramblings for more of her stories. Maybe we should all keep this one in mind as we make our preparations for the holidays. I might keep us from setting sensitively at Christmas dinner.

Priorities

Christine and Lou planned on doing their usual Saturday errands.  It always started with breakfast at Sally’s Diner.  It was tradition for them since their first days together.  Besides, Sally’s had the best cinnamon rolls around.  They seated themselves as their favorite booth across from the counter.  Since they were regulars they knew many of the staff and most of the customers and this booth allowed them the ability to converse with everyone they knew.

 

While waiting for their order, a friend of Christine’s stopped by and asked if she would volunteer to help out at the Christmas Day Dinner being hosted by the Women’s Club.  This dinner was an annual event and Christine had been a member of the club and had, in fact, usually chaired the Christmas event.  It provided meals to the homeless as well as to anyone that needed some camaraderie on that day.  The homeless ate free and those that could afford the meal were asked to donate accordingly.  

 

Christine had stepped down from the Women’s Club at Lou’s request.  He felt she was being taken advantage of due to her willingness to help.  Lou had a point, It was true,  she was a great organizer and liked being part of things but she had to admit that more and more items has been heaped on her plate, while others did less and less.  

 

Lou was giving Christine that look as she listened to her friend plead her case about the dinner.  Christine recognized the look and said she was sorry but she would take a pass and wished her friend well.  

 

“I’m glad you did that honey, it would have been way too much.  You know our relatives are coming for the entire weekend and you will be stressed enough without taking on the responsibility of the community event as well.” Lou said.

 

“I know, but they really need more help this year.” 

 

Sally’s Diner always assisted with the food as well as the cooking and serving but this year business had taken a downturn with COVID and they were unable to do so.  This meant that the Women’s Club would have to step up and increase their involvement with the dinner.  Food donations would have to be procured as well as staff to make the event go smoothly.

 

“I’m sorry about that but it’s time that other club members step in and do their part.”

 

“You’re right honey.” Christine agreed.

 

After breakfast , Lou and Christine did the rest of their usual errands; grocery shopping, liquor store, hardware store, the produce stand and any other things that needed done.  It was a small town and it seemed that at every stop, they ran into someone from the Women’s Club and every one tried to convince Christine they needed her help.  She remained steadfast and turned them all down and wished them success.  Lou said he was proud she had stood her ground and didn’t it feel great not to have the burden thrust upon her.  Now, she could enjoy the preparations needed for their own holidays with their relatives, even though that could be just as stressful with a house full of people who didn’t always get along. Christine nodded her assent but deep inside there was this niggling thought that they really did need the help this year.

 

A week passed and Christine still found herself thinking about the Christmas dinner as she made preparations for their own Christmas celebration.  When she received a call from another Women’s Club member begging her to reconsider, she said she would think about it and let them know.  

 

When she mentioned it to Lou that evening, he went ballistic.  “I thought this was settled, honey.   You told them no and now your giving it some thought.  You know my feelings on this, I don’t want you doing it.”

 

“But honey, I only told them I would think about it.”

 

“The fact that you’re thinking about it tells me that your mind is made up and you will be doing it despite my feelings on the matter.”

 

Christine dropped the subject but Lou was right.  She had made up her mind to help out.  She wouldn’t take on the whole project but she would lend a hand and would absolutely refuse to be present at the event on Christmas Day.

 

When she alerted the club of her decision she was given a list of things for which she would be responsible.  After perusing the list, she determined that she could do it and incorporate the “to  do” list along with her own “to do” list and that way Lou wouldn’t have to know she gave in, which would be better for her well-being and her behind.

 

Things went swimmingly until a few days before Christmas.  Christine was stressed because there was so much still to be done and time was running out.  She was becoming short-tempered and started taking it out on Lou.  He called her on her behavior and she lost it.  During the rant that ensued she let it slip that the club’s food purveyor wasn’t going to be able to supply the staff on Christmas Day and she didn’t know what she was going to do.

 

“So you went ahead and against my wishes took on the Women’s Club project.”

 

“Yes, because I thought I could handle it without being in charge but somehow I wound up in charge anyway.  Until now I was doing okay but then the staffing situation arose and now I am at my wit’s end.”

 

‘Well that ends right now.  You are going to call whoever needs to be called and tell them you are through.”

 

“I can’t do that, it’s too short a notice.”

 

“You can and will do that and after you’ve made the call you and I will be having a serious discussion and your end is going to be over my knee.  Do you understand?”

 

“But….Christine said.”

 

“No buts but yours, Christine.  I mean it.  Now make that call.”

 

She did as she was told and was elated when the call went to voice mail.  Not wanting to leave that message at all,  she just hung up and told Lou there wasn’t any answer and she’d call back tomorrow.

 

She started to walk toward the kitchen with Lou right behind her.  

 

“Where do you think you’re going, young lady?  We have an appointment.”

 

Christine ignored him and headed to the kitchen cabinet and was removing the jar of spaghetti sauce when Lou grabbed her should and spun her around.  She dropped the jar and red sauce splattered all over the white kitchen cabinets and white tile floor.  “Look what you just made me do. Go get the broom and pan to clean up the glass and then you can start cleaning up the sauce while I fix dinner.”

“Orders, you’re giving me orders,” Lou said.  “I’ll show you orders” and with that he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, grabbing a wooden spoon on the way,  He plopped himself down on the bed and positioned Christine across his knee. She was fighting him at every turn.  “Stop right now Christine “ Lou told her, to no avail.   He placed his one leg over the back of her knees to stop her kicking and began to let loose with the wooden spoon.  It wasn’t too many whacks into the spanking when Christine began to calm down.

 

“Okay, I’m better now, let me up,” she said to Lou.

 

“Honey, you’re not getting up until your backside is the color of that sauce that is all over the kitchen.  And when that’s done, you’ll be cleaning up that mess with your red backside showing and I will be watching every move you make.”  With that statement he pulled down her panties and continued paddling her behind holding true to his word about her reddened bottom.

When he was finished, he stood her up and marched her to the kitchen.  “Now get busy.  And tomorrow, you will make that call and resign or you’ll be getting a  bottom warming every day until you do.  Do you understand?”

 

A tearful Christine nodded.  “Yes, dear.”  Lou had to turn away to hide his grin.  He would bet that she would be over his knee again before she resigned.

 ~o~

Thank you Sunny, I really enjoyed this. Please let your writing juices begin to flow again and send us your results. It's been awhile so let me extend the invitation again... Fantasy Friday is open to everyone! If you read here and enjoy the idea of spanking I'm willing to bet you have a spanking story in you. Write it! Write it for yourself. And then if you're willing, share it with us. I love to talk with new writers. If you're willing to give it a try and to share with us please send your story to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

 

Coming Soon...

I haven’t given up completely on Fantasy Friday. I always get excited when I get a new story but the one I got just before Thanksgiving really made me happy.  It was from Sunny! She has sent me several FF stories in the past, then she began writing books (here's one of my favorites) and for a long time she put up a new story every Monday.

She’s a little busier these days and doesn’t do as much writing. But she wrote this story for us – she said an incident in my life inspired it. What can she be talking about? Be sure to come by Friday for a good read.

Things used to be so peaceful, but now...

Fair warning – I’m going to rant a little and this is the only safe place.  I used to feel very close to Nick’s family. They are nice people, his baby brother met one of my best friends at our wedding and they married two years later. Our first sons were born five months apart and out second kids were thirteen months apart. All was well for many, many years.

LJ and his cousin weren’t close after about the age of ten. LJ loved theater in high school, graduated with honors, did the same in college and fulfilled his lifelong dream to move to NYC. He’s there, healthy, happy and doing well.

 

His cousin played baseball in high school, graduated, got and lost several jobs, developed a sever drug problem, got his girlfriend pregnant and sadly died of a drug overdose at the age of twenty when the baby was eleven months old.

 

In my view, the family still feels this cousin was the golden boy in the family – I mean he did play baseball in school. While LJ is the black sheep in the family because, after all, he’s gay. (Just FYI, this couples youngest son is also gay, but that fact is totally ignored by them.)

Sorry, I’m picking at old grievances. Current problem: This SIL and BIL raised the baby after their son died. He’s now fourteen. Both the parents have been vaccinated, but the grandson refuses to be. I feel he’s been influenced by his ‘good ‘ol boys’ friends on his ball teams and the rednecks at his church. First, it shouldn’t be his choice, he’s a child. True they can’t hold him down and force him to be vaccinated, but as his parents I feel all activities – playing ball, seeing friends, and certainly going up around his one hundred year old great-grandfather should STOP! But they keep bringing him.

 

Because of this, the newest member of the family, a beautiful eighteen-month-old couldn’t come for Thanksgiving. And also our amazing little warrior princess couldn’t come either. I have strong feeling about this and I’m sure you can guess what they are.

 

Nick’s family will never discus their feelings about anything. The sisters will never make waves, even the one who is grandmother to these two amazing little girls. As an in-law it may not be my place. But I am thinking of talking to the mothers of these little one and encouraging them to just ask straight out if the boy is going to be at the Christmas gathering, because if he is, that will prohibit their families from being able to come. I think it’s time to kick the elephant in the room right in the butt!

I'm mad enough at the situation that I feel I could get everyone told! But considering the age of Nick’s father I don’t want to be the one who begins a big family split. I guess I’ll just bitch and gripe about it to Nick and Mollie – and occasionally you guys. But I will let you know who come to the Christmas gathering.

The things I do for love...

I want to be a loving helpful wife, really I do. Except when Nick has to be at a medical procedure at 6:45 AM. Don't both Nick and the doctor know that retired people don't get up that early, much less get dress and go out?

Oh well, as many of you read this I'm waiting patiently for the medical staff to complete Nick's colonoscopy. With that thought in mind, I thought I'd post Cassie's story about her first test of this nature.

Cassie ~

I remember when my doctor first suggested that I have a colonoscopy years ago and how Tom and I disagreed as to the necessity of this test. Guess who won?

I don’t dislike doctors. I have my yearly physical, I do mammograms and most anything that they suggest but when he first suggested a colonoscopy, or as I call it ‘up periscope’ – well there are just some things that one person ought not do to another. At least unless there is an expensive dinner involved.

When I went to my physical several years ago the doctor did suggest this test because of family history. I thanked him for the information and decided to ignore it. Unfortunately, I left the pamphlet on the kitchen counter when I came home and nosy Tom picked it up. He asked me if the doctor wanted me to have this test. I tried to be vague but it didn’t work. He insisted that I call the next day and sit up an appointment. I forgot, he didn’t. He called at lunch to see if I had made the appointment and when I said no he said that he would make it for me.

I wasn’t convinced that this test was such a good idea. Several days before the appointment Tom reminded me of it and I said, “Oh didn’t I tell you, the doctor’s office said I had to reschedule.” Now that was not a lie – that is exactly what they said when I called to cancel the appointment. I was planning to do it eventually; I just needed to get mentally prepared.

He asked me if I had rescheduled and I told him that I had. He asked me if I was sure assured him that I was. And I really should have written down the date that I had rescheduled it to, but I forgot. I also managed to erase the phone message from the office to remind me. Truly my memory is terrible at times.

My doctor and Tom meet at the golf course occasionally and when they did the doctor asked Tom if I was planning to take that test that I kept missing. Is this legal? When he got home from golf he called to me as he came in the door. I could tell from his tone that he was not happy with me. As I came into the living room he started. “Cassie Jane, I’m going to wear you out!” I wasn’t sure what he was mad about, there were usually several things going on in my life back then that it could have been.

He said, “First thing you’re going to call and reschedule that appointment.” Oh, shoot – it was that. He had me put the phone on speaker and stood right there listening as I tried to reschedule. The receptionist was saying, “Now ma’am you canceled the first appointment and you didn’t show up on the date that it was rescheduled. Do you think you will be able to make it this time?” 

Seeing the look on Tom’s face I was able to assure her that I would be there.

When I hung up Tom said, “You canceled the first appointment? You said the doctor’s office said you had to reschedule.” 

“They did say that,” I told him. Then added quietly, “After I canceled.” 

Tom didn’t like any of this and told me to wait on him in the bedroom. When finally came up he said, “You know two things that I will not put up with, neglecting your health and lying to me. What do you think I should do?” After giving it a moment’s thought, I told him that I thought I needed a stern warning and hot sex to help me remember the afternoon. Tom told me that I wouldn’t have any problem remembering the afternoon, unfortunately, he was correct even though he did not take my suggestion.

He used both the school paddle and the hair brush and he burnt me up! Who knew getting mentally prepared started from the bottom up? He also made me take my pants down myself before he put me over his lap. That is always the worse for me. This man does not like me to be less than honest with him, nor does he want me skipping doctor visits. I don’t think I have skipped a doctor’s appointment since that day. But he is just too picky about what he calls lying. Omitting is not lying, withholding is not lying, and forgetting to tell something is not lying! He just interprets the word too strictly. I can say honestly to all of you that I am always the perfect lady, in manner, in word and in deportment. See, exaggerating isn’t lying either, it’s just being creative.

I took the stupid test and it wasn’t horrible although the preparation is not my favorite way to spend an evening. But for the test I was asleep and when all was said and done I did get an expensive dinner out of it.