Is trying for a spanking relationship worth it even if it doesn’t last?

That thought has been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve met many people, couples, though my fourteen years of blogging. I’ve been close enough to have personal/email relationships with more than thirty couples over these years and I've met about a dozen in person. But of that largest group less than a handful still incorporate spanking into their relationship. 

 

My hat’s off to those who have been able to keep it alive. Bonnie, Ronnie, Hermione come to mind first. And I’ve wondered how they’ve done it. As I’ve thought about it I believe this come from the fact that both people in the relationship are spankos. I’ve come to believe that that’s the only way it can happen. 

 

It doesn’t matter how rabid a spanko you are – one spanko can’t keep the lifestyle going by themselves. No one could be more into the love of the lifestyle than me. I made up spanking stories by the time I was four. Rarely a day of my life when by that I didn’t spend part of it daydreaming about spanking. 

 

But it was only daydreams until twenty-three years in to my marriage at the age of forty-nine that I found blogs and like minded friends. These friends gave me the courage to come out to Nick. And... 

 

OMG!

 

The next few years were the happiest I’d ever know! Friends at church and work wanted to know what in the world had happened. Several asked if I was taking ‘happy’ pills. One fellow teacher commented, “I don’t think we could slap the smile off your face! What gives?” They never found out, of course, but the change was phenomenal.

 

Our sex life went from the missionary position occasionally to anything goes, bring on the sex toys! For me personally I had everything I’d ever dreamed of.

 

But nothing was ever going to change the fact that it wasn’t the lifestyle Nick wanted. He tried! Bless his heart, no one could have tried harder. But he wasn’t a spanko and he could no more change and be one, than I could change and not be one.

 

We kept up the trying on and off for ten years. I think that shows how willing he was. Toward the end I even wrote a whole book, Returning to Us, trying to explain what I wanted and needed. The couple mirrored Nick and I as closely as I could make them, but by then I guess it was too late.  Finally it was me that gave up. The trying was hurting me. Nick still brings it up occasionally, still spanks a little. But I’d just as soon he didn’t. It’s just a game and the ‘game’ never interested me. I simply went back to what I’d been doing the first forty-nine years of enjoying my spanking fantasies in my head.

 

But, back to my original question – Was it worth it to try?

 

YES!

 

Because we tried this lifestyle for a time we are closer than we were before. Out sex life is better than it was before. I’ll never have the regret of saying to myself when I’m in my eighties, ‘Why didn’t I try it for real?’ I have met amazing friend with whom I can discuss the joys of the spanking lifestyle and it lead me to write my books. They bring me great joy. And I have such love and affection for a husband who was so willing to try this strange request his wife brought to him. Yes, yes, yes – everything is better because we tried.

 

So if you are a spanko, please come out and tell your partner. Go in with the understanding that it probably won’t last your whole life – but boy, it will be great while you're trying. And you never know, it could last for months, years or even a lifetime. Just know that the trying is worth it!