I don’t know what to do and I need HELP! I’ve gone on and on about my kids out here. I think they are the best kids in the world. Now when Mollie was little, from around 2 to 11, I was ready to hand her off to any takers. But since the ages of 12 on the child has been an absolute delight. Everyone who meets her tells Nick and me what a wonderful, mature girl she is. I agree completely.
When she was a teen, I rarely told her ‘no’ about anything because her requests were always sensible. We’ve always talked a lot. I don’t try to boss her and tell her what to do now, and because of that, she often seeks my advice and actually listens to it.
But now she has asked for something that panics me and I don’t know what to do. Let me paraphrase our conversation.
“Mom you and I are pretty close, don’t you think.”
“Well then I want you to do something for me. I’m all grown up; I’ll be twenty next month (why does that still sound like ten to me?)
“I know.” I answered, “I was there when you were born.” I could tell she was serious, but I didn’t expect what was coming.
“I want to read your book. The one about that Cassie woman.”
My chest constricts, my mouth goes dry, and little blood vessels burst in my brain. Other than that I’m fine. “I thought you said you knew I wrote ‘sexy’ stuff and you didn’t ever want to read it.”
Mollie goes on in that adult, reasoning voice. “I know you’re proud of your writing. I want to read it. I’m not a child. I’m not as naive as you think I am. I think I’m old enough to read it.”
“I’m not sure I’m old enough for you to read it.” I stammered. She pins me with a look that says she’s not kidding. So I went on, “Listen, they’re not dirty or anything, but… well there’s some stuff in them you might think is weird.”
“I want to read it.”
“Let me think about it.” I told her, and that’s where we left it. That was about ten days ago. I got a post card from her today, the PS said, “Send me some stuff from your book. I want to read it.”
What the hell should I do?????
Here are the two arguments in my head.
# 1 –
She is naive about sex. We’ve just spent the past 20 years teaching this girl to be an independent woman, able to take care of herself and submission to no one. She has never dated or even had a boyfriend – will this warp her thinking? Will the fact that her mother wrote this instantly make it icky – so that she would never consider it even if her future husband wanted to play with it some? Would it be instantly taboo? Or would she feel I’m saying that a woman should be submissive to her man? I would never want her to feel that way – certainly not until I met the man and felt he was worthy of her even considering such a thing.
And then there will be the ‘response’. Will she say nothing and I won’t know if she is disgusted or intrigued. Will she want to know if Nick spanks me? Will it open a can of worms that needs to be left closed at this time?
# 2 –
She is a mature kid. Let her read it. These books, these stories are important to you. Mollie will understand. She’s lived with you and Nick in the house for the past six years you’ve been playing a TTWD and probably knows way more than you think and she isn’t freaked out yet.
If you say no, she is going to be hurt and feel that you see her as a little kid or you don’t trust her. Could that damage your relationship, even a little? So your stories are about spanking – big deal, (You’re not out at a swingers club with different partners.) You show spanking in a context of mutual love and understanding. They’re married, it’s consensual, they love each other immensely, and many stories are funny and lighthearted. Really, what’s wrong with her reading them? You intend to publish them some day, don’t you? She’ll read them then. Let her now so she feels that you accept her as an adult.
Okay I don’t usually beg for comments, but guys, I’m begging!!! I want your honest opinion.
Just know this for sure –
I really want her to read them and I don’t really want her to read them. And that’s the truth!