I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What Spanking means to me

For the last two Wednesdays I have put up old posts that I wrote some time ago where I tried to explain to the men in our lives just why some women liked to be spanked. I don't know if anyone else is enjoying them or getting anything out of it or not. There haven't been any comments and of course I always love comments. So I wasn't sure about putting another one up this week until I looked at my stats and saw that for the last two weeks those posts got more hits than post anything except Fantasy Friday. So I am going to put up this one today and at least one more next Wednesday. And just maybe someone who need to read it will stumble across it.

Last year Todd and Suzy asked the following question for a round table discussion–

How much do you think the spanking element of your diet has helped? Does it actually impact food/gym decisions you make?

When I started to answer I realized that for me the answer was not so simple after all. Strangely enough it made me thing of something our preacher said Sunday. It spoke to the underlying feelings that I think many spankos have. He said the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is indifference. Hate takes caring, it takes energy, and it takes emotion. Indifference is much sadder.

This ‘spanking diet’ has been the constant since I came out to Nick about spanking. Stepping on the scale each Friday I had three huge questions in my mind. 1) Have I gained or lost? 2) If I have gained is Nick going to spank me? Or 3) is Nick going to make some excuse and just decide to let it go. And of the three the last one was the one that I worried about the most. Indifference. It scares me, it makes my chest hurt. This is something that Carye and I often discuss. Although we often worry about how bad the spanking might be the worry about the chance he might just blow it off or forget the whole thing is much more painful.

Nick has not done that. On reason I tried so hard at the beginning of the diet was that I didn’t want him to think I was ‘testing’ him, trying to force him to spank if he didn’t want to. I was afraid he would say ‘You are not even trying, let’s just forget the whole thing.’ At first I was more worried about that than the spanking. It has taken about a year to begin to let go of this fear (okay, I’m slow). And yes even now when we go a long period and there is no spanking I still worry.

So spankers I may just be speaking for myself, but I have a feeling I am speaking for a lot more of us – when we finally get up the courage to tell you that we want you to spank we often don’t make it clear to you what we are really saying. That is to us – spanking equals caring. When you spank you show us you care. If it is all in fun and erotic it shows that you listened and cared about what we want. If you spank because of discipline you show you care about us, our safety, our well being, everything. I think that is what we really want, to know that you care.

Well that's the long version. The short version is now that I am more secure that he is not going to ignore a gain, now that I am more secure in the knowledge that he really cares, now that I got that damn hairbrush – the answer is yes, knowing he is going to spank my butt with that brush is one reason I go to the gym when I don’t really want to go and I will eat a Hershey’s kiss instead of a huge candy bar. The other way spanking effects the diet is that Nick’s willingness to spank shows me he cares for me; I work hard to loss every week to show that I care for him.


  1. I have been away for a couple of weeks...not really away...just away from blogland and caught up in every day life..but am popping in to say hello and thank-you for continuing to share your thoughts and posts old and new...it always is reassuring to me... Hugs, Terps

  2. PK,

    Very well said!!! You are able to put things into words that I can only think about.



  3. Anonymous8:39 PM

    Amen PK,

    I *always* have: "I better do this because..." otherwise I'm so lazy I don't know that I would ever leave my bed! (Understand my laptop is keeping me warm!)


  4. Terps,
    I always love seeing you here. Pop in and read whenever you can.

    I used to let things just roll around in my head but I found writing helps. Please email any time you like.

    LOL! You know Nick is going to think I wrote that! Sure does sound like me!

  5. Anonymous9:42 PM

    Just spoke to my husband about using spanking as a means to encourage my diet. He agrees this would be a great idea. Once a week I will weigh in and then meet him in the bedroom. If I have not lost any weight I will be put over his knee and my bare bottom will be spanked. This is going to be quite an experiment for us. I have been discipline spanked in the past but now we will be adding the diet factor to it. He is a very good man who only wants to help me. I am returning to the gym tomorrow to get myself started. I really don't want a diet spanking. These spankings might just tie into the spankings I get for disobedience. It's gonna be a long summer.

  6. Anonymous9:49 PM

    Spanking to me means that my husband cares enough to discipline me in a way that is acceptable to both of us - even if it is me that ends up with the sore bottom. Being put over his knee and spanked until I can't sit down lasts much longer than the actual spanking does. My bottom aches for quite awhile as I remember my disobedience and the reason for the spanking. His bare hand or a paddle are used and afterward I apologize for my inappropriate behavior. I am very good until I am pulled over his knee again.