I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Ten important Things

I love Bonnie for asking this question. Not for the chance to tell what I hope my blog with say to other, but so that I can understand it myself. So here goes.

What are the 10 things, thoughts, or ideas you would most like readers to take away from your blog?

1.If you are turned on by spanking (and you know who you are) tell your partner today! Do not waste one more minute. The worse he could say is – not interested, and you have lost nothing.

2.People who love spanking are very normal people. We are nurses, teachers, secretaries, lawyers. We look after our kids, sometimes our parents; we teach Sunday school and bake cookies for school parties. We are NORMAL!

3.Being spanked by someone you love and trust make you feel cherished, safe and loved in a way that nothing else can.

4.In a spanking relationship, the relationship becomes the core of your life. Other things like work, neighbors, chores, errands, etc. are just things you do. Real life is you and your partner.

5.If this has always be a fantasy and you are just getting ready to try it for real you need to know: Spankings hurt!! They can hurt like hell. But you will still love the experience and the feeling afterwards money can’t buy!

6.Sex after a spanking is the greatest thing since sliced bread! It’s your birthday, it’s Christmas morning, it’s winning the lottery. This is coming from someone who simply hated sex, I loved my husband, but I hated sex. Now I can’t get enough. I have the most happy, stunned husband on the planet.

7.Be understanding of other people’s chosen lifestyle. People are different, that’s a good thing. Some would say I’m a pervert for this kink. I’m not. My husband and I love each other and hurt no one. Be understanding of other and live and let live.

8.Look for toys where ever you can find them. Kitchen supply stores, hardware stores, pet supply stores. Always be on the lookout for items that would not attract attention in the bedroom. Fly swatters, belts, slippers, back scratchers. Remember your kids are everywhere, many toys can’t be left out but these can.

9.Men if you are reading here please don’t let us down. If we have finally told you that this is what we want and need, understand that we have probably been thinking about this, dreaming about this for years. It’s not a spur of the moment request. We want it, we yearn for it, and we need it. You are the only one we trusted with this embarrassing secret. If you try it once and then stop, we may never have the courage to bring it up again and we are going to feel a bit rejected, a bit lonely and a bit sad.

10.Men can’t read our minds. I know that is stupid of them, but they are only men, so cut them some slack. We can’t give up either. Talk with them, explain things to them, tell them which blogs to read. I can’t look at my husband and talk to him about this yet but I email him a lot! I can get going with words. He seems to love it. If it’s not working out like you expected – keep working at it, it’s worth it. Don’t give up!


  1. Anonymous11:02 AM

    Awesome list Elis. Your excitement and happiness shows!!


  2. Wonderful list, I especially liked #10. Men aren't psychic. I'm not either, so why would I expect my man to be?!? Speaking up and getting what you ask for is empowering. Amazing things happen when you open your mouth and ask.

    I think I might take a stab at this list.

    **Big Hugs**

  3. Great List Elis,
    I knew that my Mel was a spanko well before we married.
    She received her first spanking on our second date, we never looked back.
    We had the best marriage ever and this was partly due to spanking.

  4. Elis,

    Bravo! That's good advice presented well.

    It makes me want to exclaim, "Spankos of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your pale!"


  5. Eva,
    Yes! Excited and happy is exactly how I feel!

    I just wish I hadn't waited over 20 years to speak up. I'll be checking you blog for your list.

    I often wonder how my life would be different if Nick had been a spanko from the word go.

    Thanks for the inspiration!!

  6. This one caught my eye the most...

    In a spanking relationship, the relationship becomes the core of your life. Other things like work, neighbors, chores, errands, etc. are just things you do. Real life is you and your partner.

    I quit my job in August but had another lined up. The situation turned out to be I would be training in Altanta for 2-3 months. I was not told this up front. I couldn't manage that and Michael so here I am today in this mess.

    I quit the other job because it was sucking the life out of me. 60-65 hours a week and stress. I told Will the other day if he and were actually together, I think I could have stayed there and survivied. I just think having him, and having spankings would have been all I needed to stick with it.

    Will was pleased I felt that way, but now thinks I am in this mess because we aren't together!

    This was an excellent point you brought up!


  7. Anonymous3:04 AM

    Thanks a lot for the posts, it encourages me a lot.