I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

I Know He Trying

I took my own advice and emailed Nick to thank him for great sex the other morning and to tell him some other things I would like from him. One of the things I told him was that it would be wonderful if he would flip the covers down and give me a good pop on the butt before he leaves for work some morning. So this morning I’m half asleep he flips the covers back and gives me a pat that wouldn’t have injured a mosquito. I wanted to sit up and say – Put some muscle in it, you hit like a damn girl! (No offence Sky).

I know I can’t be mad at him when he is really trying. He didn’t ignore me, he did try, but it wasn’t what I wanted! Grace said pretty much what I feel. I want to tell Nick, Dominate me, damn it, and do it right now! I’ll tell you exactly what I want you to do!
He hasn’t said anything but I think he is still worried about the bruising from last Friday. It has persisted but it has not been a problem to me in anyway. I’m just worried he will never do anything but pat my butt again.

I know that Nick sees this as a game while I want it to be a way of life. I have just been thinking of how I wanted it for 40 years longer than he has and I don’t have 40 years to wait for him to catch up. I have to push some. Nick and I never fight, I mean never! I used to think that this was a good thing, but now I just think it shows a lack of passion.
Some of you have talked about bratting your way into a spanking. I could never do that. First, he would think I was insane because it would be so unlike me. Second, if I really did something to make him mad he would just shut down, stop talking and ignore me. I mean he would never spank me if he was mad because he would know that that was exactly what I wanted.
I am probably just antsy because I see no time it the immediate future for playing. We have a big yard sale this weekend and a family reunion next Saturday and Sunday, thirty or so people at my house for 2 days. They don’t sleep here but they are here all during the day. I love having this reunion each year but I just want to have some time alone with Nick!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. Anonymous8:33 AM


    My husband still isn't quite there yet either but he's learning ... and we started this 5 years ago. It's so hard with kids in the house. The best advice I can give you is keep doing what you are doing... communicate!! (even if only in writing like you've been) And apply lots of patience.


  2. I know you want to "top from the bottom", but it ususally doesn't work.

    Find some good articles about spanking from the discipline side of things. Try the loving domestic discipline website, I have it linked on my blog. Give the articles to him and let him read them. Keep finding ways to show him that this is Ok.

    Remember, this is your thing, not his. To make it his, you have to show him how it will benefit him.

    You've proved that your communication is working, maybe not exactly the way you want, but it is working. It might not have been a hard pop this time, but one of these days it will.

  3. Thanks girls, After thinking over the past few weeks I now know that I have nothing to complain about. I'll do better.


  4. Elis, topping from the bottom can be fatal.
    Take Grace's advice it's good and communicate, communicate, communicate.
    The time will come when you can play, family must be served.

  5. I feel the same as you I don't want a bedroom game I want a lifestyle. But let's face it you can have sex and spankings 24/7. What makes it a lifestyle for me is smacks, pinches, and squeezes throughout the day. And comments constantly. Just little reminders that this is the way we lead our lives!