I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, December 29, 2011

What do you think?

There are lots and lots of things swirling around in my mind right now, fiction stories, real life problems (not serious ones), dieting, doing more TTWD. I’m in the mood to write, unfortunately, I work for a living and I’ll be doing that soon instead. But to, as I tell my students, use my time wisely I’d like to ask you all a few questions.

Those of us reading and writing here have wanted, or at least accepted, the ideas of being submissive to our husbands. Most of us are in, or wish we were in, some type of domestic discipline relationship. Now the questions:

Do you want your daughter to have a dd life style? Do you want her to be submissive to her husband? Do you want him to spank her if she disobeys him? If we really think that this is the best life style, are we training our sons and daughters to be ready to assume those roles when they’re grown?

I started to give you my thoughts but I think I’ll wait because I really want to hear what you think. I’ll give you my views after the weekend. Now we’re obviously talking about this with her consent. No one should be forced into this against their will. But if it’s your little girl, what do you think?


  1. My daughter is grown but it would be her choice to make. For myself,DD is not a lifestyle choice I would make. As an adult woman I feel I am accountable to God and myself. If I get that right then everything else will fall into place.

  2. Oohh, a good question, one I have wondered about for awhile. I have a grown daughter and am not sure what I would say. Let me think about it and get back to you.

  3. Interesting. My little girl is nine, so I have plenty of time to think on it. :)

  4. Anonymous8:29 PM

    I'd absolutely think it would be a good idea if my daughters were in a M/s or D/s relationship, if they had a husband like Daddy. I know he's never been abusive, is not now, and I trust he won't be in the future.

    I don't think of myself as being in a DD relationship, but I suppose it's all semantics.

    Of course, I'll be supportive of whatever my daughter's choose for themselves. They're all independent, strong-willed young ladies and I wouldn't want a man to change that part of their personalities.


  5. Anonymous8:51 PM

    Being old enough to remember when there were no equal rights for women I marvel at the snide remarks sometimes made about feminists.Would we really want our daughters to have fewer choices?

  6. PK, not having an offspring, not my problem, thankfully.
    Love and warm hugs,

  7. PK: I don't think it is a choice that they make and I don't think it is something you can train them for.

    Your children are either born to be in this lifestyle -- and some boys or men like being submissive -- or they're not.

    If they are born to want the lifestyle, I would hope they can find a partner to meet their needs, which I think can be difficult.

    If they're not born to like it, they will have no interest.

    Also, when I mention lifestyle, I should add that there are many different styles. Some want only to be spanked. Others want BDSM or bondage. It just depends what they are born to want. I don't think you can learn to want this lifestyle. You can suppress it and it can come out later in life but the basic desire has to be there to start with.

    Those are my thoughts and you can feel free to disagree.


  8. This is a good question, especially since a recurrent theme in this lifestyle is the need for secrecy, due largely to the fact that those not a part of this lifestyle would not understand it. Even though I think all of us know someone who would benefit from being taken to task for their actions, I don't believe anyone should have that choice made for them. Since so much of this is about trust I don't think it is right for parents to train their daughters to expect to submit to a man this way, or train their sons to expect such to be responsible for correcting their girlfriends/ wives.
    I do think that it is important for parents to model that submission does not mean subversion of personality, and that being submissive is not the same as being weak.
    I would not "freak out" if I were to discover that my hypothetical children were in such a relationship, unless I felt there was actual abuse taking place. The line can be very fine. That being said, I truly believe people are born with the inclinations toward submission or dominance, and the belief that punishment should occur when defiance, or destructive behavior occurs. Parents may actually do more harm than good if they tried to mold the child into a direction other than their natural inclination.
    What would truly sadden me, as a parent, would be finding out that my child hadn't shared this part of themselves with me because they felt I would judge them for it.
    I guess if I ever have children I will just have to let them work this out for themselves, and let them know they can come to me if they need to talk.

  9. Anonymous11:42 AM

    Ultimately what we all want for our children is for them to be happy. For them to be in relationships that work and fulfill them. TTWD when it is with someone we love and who loves us in return, It is done out of love and is an expression of that. So as long as it was all with the right parameters, I would be fine with my daughter/son in this type of relationship.


  10. Sunnygirl,
    I like who you are accountable to. You have the right idea.

    I know it will never be our choice it will be theirs but I can't help thinking about it.

    Yep, you have lots of time to think about it.

    I know we all want our daughters, and sons too, in healthy, safe, loving relationships - regardless of anything else.

    You bring up a good point. All the women I've 'met' here are strong woman who have no problem demanding their rights in the world, while at the same time choosing to submit to the man they love.

    You chickened out. I'm sure you can think how you'd feel if you did have a daughter or grand-daughter to guide.

    I think you're right. I was born with these feelings. But, of course, there are others out here that are not spankos yet have agreed to the dd life style. We're an interesting bunch.

    You're right and this is a purely hypothetical question since it will never be our choice. If my daughter were to choose this life style I would probably never know. She is soooo private but that would be a loss too. It would make for a great discussion.

    That's pretty much how I really feel. Happy and in a loving relationship, what ever form it takes, is what we want for them.

    I'll put up my thoughts after Fantasy Friday this weekend.

  11. Good question PK

    Personally as long as she has chosen the right man and she's happy that's all that counts. Whether they are part of TTWD or not.


  12. I have 7 children - 2 of which are girls. If they found someone like their father and wanted to be in a DD relationship, then I'm okay with it and would support the choice. Of course, they'll be much older than I was when I got married, because they are not having sex until they are over 30!! LOL