I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Is this menopause?

I don’t know what is wrong with me. Usually when I am down I know why. The reasons might be silly to anyone but me but at least I know what they are. Things are very well with Nick and me. LJ was cast for a play for next semester and he is very happy. Mollie is doing well in high school and is on the track team. Work is going fine. All is well yet I have been fighting depression for several days now. I have been close to tears several times over absolute nothing. Then today I had a kid tell me to ‘F*** off’ but that didn’t even faze me. We have a new boss and I knew he wouldn’t do anything about it so I just wouldn’t let myself get worked up over it.

But about the time I got off work today I just felt awful, depressed, out of it, not myself. I hate feeling this way. I came home crawled under a blanket and went to sleep. When I woke up I went to the gym out of habit and I went through the motions but I really wasn’t into it. I am not really complaining this doesn’t happen often and it usually doesn’t last long but I really wish I knew what caused it.


  1. I think many of us were that way today. I know I was. It was the post holiday let down for me. Kids going back to school, PS headed out for work, Me back to work, I'm not ready. I want a few more days with my kids and husband at home......

    Hope you get feeling great soon!



  2. I hope you feel better soon. That change of life thing..the only thing to look forward to with that IS WHEN IT'S OVER WITH! Kids ,the "f" word and their attitudes.It's a different world we live in.

  3. Anonymous11:05 PM

    It is the holiday season. Your kids are getting older, things are changing there. The weather is getting bad too. All those things can get you down. Not sure what the fix is... but we're sending you hugs.

    Todd and Suzy

  4. Sending you a big cyber hug. Hope you have a better day.

    *big hugs and grins*

  5. PK, dear girl, yes, sounds like holiday drop.
    As for kids today, I just can't relate.
    Sending love and strength, and some joy.
    Love and warm hugs,

  6. Anonymous7:23 AM

    PK, it could be holiday drop or stress of the upcoming holiday, school, etc. It could be menopause or perimenopause. It could be a combination of all of them that cause the emotional plunge.

    PK, I've been going through this for 10 plus years. It does suck. I keep hoping it will end and life will go back to somewhat normal - back when I was an even keel, fun gal! Hmmmmm.....wonder if that will be possible.

    Whatever it is, I'm sending a hug your way.

    Debbie :)

  7. Anonymous8:32 AM

    Aww, PK I am sorry! I have been dealing with that change of life stuff for maybe a year or so now, and man it gets tough sometimes! The mood swings make you dizzy. I can never figure out whether I feel sorrier for Grant or myself! Hang in there, it will pass!

  8. Didn't you have blood drawn stating you no longer needed the pill? If so you are menopausal. But I think everyone can get the blues from time to time. I mean there are more chemicals in us other than hormones.

    Hope it passes and you are better soon.

    Great Big Huggs!