I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Just checking in

Just a quick update – I am having so much fun placing my cards around. I have two doctor appointments this week and I like the magazines. They area a great place to tuck the cards. No one notices you picking up a magazine to look at and then I tuck in a card. The next person to pick it up will find it and probably at least look at it – they may leave it right there, but they might just take it with them. If you’ve sent your address you should have them by now, if you’re in the US.


I can’t tell you much different about losing weight except Nick sure did read as I asked him too. I’ve woken up to the cane for the last two mornings – it’s quiet and Mollie’s here. Why does the cane have to be the only silent implement? I don’t know what will happen, but at least I don’t feel so down anymore.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Does anyone have a solution?

I got an email from Nick Friday, it wasn’t sexy or funny, it was serious and concerned. He’s worried about me and truth be told I’m worried about myself. I guess if I went back and checked I think I would find two main themes on New Beginning – spanking, closely followed by weigh problems. My weigh is going up, not down.

Nick told/ask me to rejoin the gym about a month ago and to go at least twice a week. I have. I’ve gained four pound in the last two weeks. Nick was worried I’d feel ‘picked on’ by his email and that wasn’t the case. I’ve never felt Nick equated my weight to my appearance, my desirability or anything of this nature. But he is worried about diabetes, joint pain and damage, and my high blood pressure. I am too.

I can’t seem to get it together. I wake up thinking, “I’m going to start fresh today. Eat sensibly, work hard at the gym and get to bed at a reasonable time.” Then someone on our hall brings donuts or cake. There’s candy in our boxes for teacher appreciation. By three o’clock I’m hoping for the energy to make it to my car, much less the gym. And sometimes my knees hurt so bad it's hard to make myself hit the gym. Yet I know the only way my knees will feel better is to lose the weight. I always say it will be better in the summer time. But I never seem to make that come true.

The only time I’ve been able to lose weight in the last thirty years was the first two years we began TTWD. I was so excited my secret was finally out, I wanted to change, to improve. I’d ask for Nick’s help and it was so new and exciting to him he jumped right on it. I don't think he believes spanking actually helps anymore. He might be right, I just don't know. He hasn't completely stopped, I mean he’s more than happy to spank me as foreplay, but that’s usually it.

Maybe Nick feels about spanking for this kind of thing the way I feel about the gym. I go three or four time and I don’t see any real difference, because – face it you have to work at it hard and consistently for a period of time for any true difference to be realized. He spanks once or twice doesn’t see any real difference in my attitude or habits and just stops.

Spanking will not cause me to lose weight. Spanking, in itself, will not make me go to the gym and work hard. But being spanked often – whether it’s the endorphins, the physical contact with Nick, the spark in the fantasy side of my brain, or just the knowledge that he is thinking of me and willing to take the time to do this for me, lifts some of this ‘I just don’t care’ attitude. It makes me feel happy and powerful – when we first began, it gave me the strength to turn down Krispy Kreme!

Maybe this is just one more excuse – ‘I could do better in Nick spanked me more often, there for it’s Nick’s fault.’ THIS IS NOT NICK’S FAULT! I know that. I make the decision what to eat and how much to exercise – me, that’s 100 percent on me.

I’d still like Nick to give it a try though, maybe a week or two where he spanked daily or almost. Each time giving me just a tad more than he thinks I can take. He goes to work incredible early, I know he doesn’t have much time, but that would be a great time for me, waking up to a stinging ass, laying there planning out my day with that on my mind.  Mollie’s home for a week, but as bad as it is the damn cane is very quiet.  And if I’m asking him to take three to four extra minutes in the morning and I’m paying with gym time or riding the bike for thirty minutes, isn’t he really getting off easy?

I’m going to keep going to the gym. I’m going to keep riding the bike and I’m going to ask Nick to read this. I’m just hoping for an enthusiasm boost from him, because honestly I don’t know what else to try.


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day, family day


I hope everyone has a great Mother’s Day today – and that’s for all people who mother, whatever your official role may be. Mollie’s home and I got to talk to LJ last night. That makes me happy.  I found this picture of my grandmother, taken about a hundred years ago. So I’m posting it in honor of my grandmothers, my mother and my beautiful daughter.


Friday, May 09, 2014

Fantasy Friday - A Summer Miracle, episode 2

I got the business cards! I'm mailing them out, later today, to all of you who have said you're willing to help. If you don't know what I'm talking about read here.

One more week of school behind me! I do love to see Fridays roll around during the school year, not so much in the summer.  Today we have the second installment of the love story Paul wrote and has shared with us. I think it’s my long friendship with Paul that make this one very special to me. I hope you enjoy…




A Summer Miracle

Episode 2

I moved in during the week-end, every time that I went in or out Mel seemed to be there.

I called her over, “sweetie is there something that I can do for you.” She blushed, giggled and moved away.

Mrs S had stocked the fridge, bread, butter, milk, eggs and other comestibles. I knocked on the kitchen door to thank the lady and ask what I owed her; a voice that I recognised said, “Come in Sergeant-Major,” I said “afternoon Mel, is your mother in,” “yes she is in the front garden, would you like me to call her,” “no that’s all right, I’ll walk round,” “I’ll come with you,” “OK.“

As we walked round I explained to Mel that she need not use my rank, that Paul would be fine, or if that made her uncomfortable, I would answer to Mr Paul, “but why,” she asked, “aren’t you proud of your rank.” “Not really, it was necessary for my job, military titles belong in the army, and you don’t call your daddy general all the time, do you?” “No” she replied, “he wouldn’t really like it,” “I feel the same; in a civilian environment it isn’t appropriate.”

After about a month the children and I got on like a house on fire, Mrs S mothered me, I didn’t see a lot of the general, his duties kept him fairly busy.

All this time while I was settling in, the children had more or less accepted my presence, Mrs S tended to treat me as a grown up son, this felt strange, nobody had done that before. The feelings between Mel and I weren’t going away.

I had bought a bicycle and had permission to take the children on rides in Regents Park and occasionally I took them on the boating pond, Mel was good with her brother and sister, she wouldn’t let them play me up.

After about nine months, I’d been in the army nearly six years, I had signed on for twenty-one years with the option, of discharge, should I wish, at the end of every three year period. Mrs S persuaded me to discuss my plans with the general. I told him that I needed to go to university.
That I saw an opening for a career, I was very interested in the new and growing science of Information Technology I would get degrees in Computer science and Language and see if I couldn’t set up an agency.

The general agreed, he considered that as far as promotion went I’d be marking time in the army, so go for it. In July ‘58 I applied for and obtained a place in the first IT degree course offered by the London School of Economics’, I also applied for an honourable discharge from the Royal Army that also went through with no problems.

In June of ‘58 Mel was fifteen, her parents bought her a pony, well a small mare, she called it Suki, I bought her a hard hat and riding gloves.
Teaching her to ride was a thrilling thing; she was a very responsive pupil, I had learnt to ride as a child at the orphanage, a good way to get round during the war, hay wasn’t rationed.

The Saturday morning after Mel’s birthday week-end I was lazing about the flat, I’d been out the night before and hadn’t got to bed before two AM. There was a ring at the door, I looked down the stairs and there was a very nervous Mel, “Mel what are you doing here, you know the rules.”

“Oh please Paul, I’ve got to speak to you,” “Where’s your mother,” “she’s out she won’t be back for at least two hours,” come in and sit over there, now what is bothering you,” “Paul do you love me,” “you know I do,” “I’m a woman now, I’ve been one for several months, why won’t you make love to me.” “Indeed you are a woman, a very young one.
 If I made love to you now it would destroy so many things, first it would hurt, the first time we make love it must be something that you will remember with joy for the rest of your life.
If I made love to you now, you would be sent away, probably to live with your uncle and I could go to prison for statutory rape.
Your parents trust me to do what is best for you, believe me having sex now could ruin everything.
I promise you I will do my best so that we will marry when you are eighteen, don’t spoil a lifetime for a moment’s gratification, now go and have a cold shower, skedaddle, your mum will be home soon.” “Yes Paul, sorry,” “no apology necessary, now scoot brat.”

I was deep into my studies, I couldn’t afford to slack, literally, the money would run out if I had to retake a year. I had made myself a coffee after finishing a paper for my main tutor. The intercom buzzed, it was Mel,
“Paul I’m ready for my riding lesson, are you coming,” “yes, give me a moment to finish my coffee, I’ll be with you in a jiffy,” “right o.”
When I got to the kitchen I was surprised to see all three children there, Mel looked at me, “can they come, just for the bike ride,” “and who is going to take them home,” “um er I’d hoped you would,” “damned liberty, oh alright, the exercise will do me good, and blow the cobwebs out of my head.”

We collected the bikes from the garage, after I watched them check brakes, handlebars and saddles; I gave the command to mount, “troops, on the count of three, one two, three, mount up, by the left ride.”

It was about half a mile to the stable where Suki was housed, they hired hacks out; I hired a nice steady gelding. When we arrived I told Mel to saddle up Suki and my gelding, while I take the children home.

When I got back to the stable I checked Suki she was fine, when I checked Pete its girth strap was really loose, “Mel what is this, now you know Pete blows up his belly when you saddle up. Did you punch him?” “No sir, it seems cruel,” “It would have been even crueller if a loose saddle had caused an accident in the High Street.”

As we rode to the Heath, Mel was very subdued; she really didn’t appreciate being corrected.

We made our way to a quiet part of the Heath where we usually trained,
I put Mel and Suki through their paces, walk, trot canter, gallop, then road manners, then I said to Mel, “feel like stretching them,” I took Pete through his fast canter to a moderate gallop, one which Suki could keep up for hours.
Suddenly Mel put Suki at the hedge, the jump was too much for the mare, she stumbled as she landed and Mel came off.
I put Pete at the hedge well clear of Suki, Mel was on the ground looking shaken and Suki was shaking, I checked her over, fortunately the mare was unharmed.

I turned to Mel, “are you hurt,” “no just shaken,” I helped Mel up; with the reins in one hand I helped Mel to a bench across the ride.

After a few minutes to allow Mel to calm down, I turned to her and asked, “What in the name all that’s unholy to you think you were doing, you could have killed the horse and yourself, I’m going to have to tell the General.” “Please Paul don’t do that, he’ll stop me riding,” Mel this was too dangerous, you could have killed yourself.” “Paul can’t you punish me,” “how, stop your pocket money?” “No beat me,” “beat you!!! Why?”
“Well, daddy beats mummy, I’ve heard them.” “Whaaaat?” “Yes I’ve needed to go to the bathroom a lot lately, it sounds quite severe, but mummy doesn’t seem to mind, she is happy in the morning, even if she winces when she sits.” “Mel, do your parents know that you have heard them, it must be a close secret between us, not even your brother or sister, do you understand.” “Yes Paul.”

“Wait here, I’ll just check that the horses are OK and that the coast is clear,” fortunately that part of Hampstead Heath was quite isolated, there was nobody about and the horses were fine. I returned to Mel and sat down on the stump in the centre of the clearing, “Mel, come here,” I placed her between my knees, “you know that you have earned this don’t you,” “yes Paul, can we get it over with please,” “all in good time, now drop you Jodhpurs to your knees, that’s a good girl, no leave your panties, now come to my right, no my right not yours, now lower yourself over my lap, wriggle forward a bit, that’s it, I need you to hold still and keep quiet like the brave girl you are, I’m going to give you twelve, it will soon be over,” I raised my right hand and brought it down hard on her left cheek, there was a hiss of withdrawn breath, the same on her right cheek, by the time I’d reached ten Mel was wriggling and ouching, “hold hard, the last two will really hurt,” I said, Mel’s legs were kicking and she was going “ouch, ouch, ouch,” under her breath, I aimed the last two hard and fast to her sit spots, her hands flew to her beleaguered bum and started to rub. “Damn, that hurt,” she said as she stood. “Pull your Jodhpurs up and come here,” I sat her on my lap, put my arms around her, as I held her tight she started to cry, “let it all out darling, it’s all over now, there’s a good girl, you know I love you,” Mel looked up at me, and nodded, “I know you love me, and I love you.”

I wiped Mel’s eyes, she looked a little crumpled, we mounted up and returned to the stables and rode our bikes home.

As we rode home I was in some difficulty, I had a stiffy to beat the band. Mel just didn’t look as if she had a hard spanking. She had a small smile of what looked like triumph on her face and every so often she licked her lips, a more suspicious man might have thought she had planned the whole episode.

When we arrived home I suggested that Mel take a shower, as would I.

I hurried in my flat, hoping that I wouldn’t meet anybody, my erection didn’t seem to want to leave, under the shower I did the necessary, it was necessary to do the necessary twice more before I could sleep.

As I lay in bed mulling over the events of the afternoon I came to certain conclusions, firstly, it was no surprise that daddy spanked mummy, this wasn’t unusual in military families, what was surprising was that Mel had heard them, oh well I thought, little pitchers have big ears.

Mel’s reaction was a surprise, I knew that she was submissive as was her mother, it seem that we Doms have a sixth sense for submissives, it’s a psychic thing I believe, or it may be what makes us Doms.

I hadn’t picked up that she was a masochist, or that spanking turned her on as much as it did me, I made a mental note not to let her provoke me into spanking her, as this would make it even harder for both of us.

Having reached this decision, after completing my third necessary, I turned over and drifted off to sleep, no prize for guessing in what condition I awoke.

This was the turning point, before Mel was in love with the idea of love, now she loved me. It made the waiting easier, not easy, but easier.



To be continued


© Paul 2008

Thanks again Paul! There is more to come and I hope you will be back next week to read. And I also hope the rest of you are taking this time, while Paul is entertaining us to do some writing of your own. Send you stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com