I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

The TTWD highway

If you’ve read here long you know that our journey down the TTWD highway has not been a straight shot, to put it mildly. I think most of us who have ever tried it have experienced the unexpected curves, the bumpy stretches and sometimes being forced to a dead stop, waiting for some obstacle to be cleared. Nick and I have had our shares of each of these.




I hardly ever post on topic anymore. Mostly that’s because there hasn’t been a lot going on along those lines. And neither of us is to blame – or both we both are, take your pick. We talked about it this past weekend. It wasn’t a very good talk. I think it left us both feeling a little down. Me especially because Nick began in a fairly happy, up-beat mood, but I just couldn’t get there and that brought him down too. So I not only felt bad, but a little guilty too for not just going along.

I’m truly poor at these verbal conversations – so I finally sat down and emailed him, but I never got around to hitting send. Yesterday morning I woke up to an email from him. He acknowledged some of his problem with TTWD and pointed out some of mine. He was pretty accurate. Unless he asks me not to I plan to share parts of these emails here because I really believe many people can relate.

But since I’d already written mine and I had his in front of me I’ll tell you what I was most happy about. We’d both ended our emails in nearly the same way.  We were both a little unsure on exactly the best way to move forward, but we did want to move forward and do any and everything we could to make our marriage even better. Now, if both of us want that it doesn’t really matter how many curves, bumps or roadblocks we come up against, the journey continues.


Two things to note:

First, we have an excellent, brand new Fantasy Friday this week. Don’t forget to come by. 

The second thing is that Cassie posted yesterday and she has another post for Thursday so please come by if you have time. If you’ve dropped Cassie’s Space from your blog roll or if you never added her I hope you will. Thanks guys.

23 comments:

  1. PK,
    I am so glad you guys had a follow up to your talk. You know how when we were younger, the "mumps" went around school? Well, I think the "bumps" go around blog land! One couple gets them and another couple can relate.... then they all get over it just as another two get the bumps!

    Writing helps some of us gals (and guys) out of tough spots when our oral skills (not those kind of oral skills!) sometimes are lacking. Those of us who think we communicate... perhaps we talk tooooo much! I hope you and Nick find a healthy balance for whatever makes your marriage the best for you both. Storm and I are working on that, too! Hugs! Windy

    P.S. I will be happy to add Cassie to my blog roll now that I have officially met her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is something that affect us all - although I think we all see other couples as 'getting it right'. My 'oral skills' do not include coherently discussing TTWD with Nick. But I can write it. Glad to know others have to work at it too.

      Cassie says thanks!

      Delete
  2. Hi PK,good on you and Nick for talking. I'm sorry about how it left you feeling.

    I too am so glad you followed up on the conversation. It's wonderful that you are on the same page. That is what matters, you will find a way forward.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is all that matters and I'd say things are already better.

      Delete
  3. If I've learned anything in the past few months, PK, it's that those bumps and detours happen to everyone. I'm sorry your conversation didn't go the way you both would have wanted it to go ... however, you and Nick have had success with email conversations in the past so I hope you can use it to find your ttwd way again ... hugs! ... nj

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just the easiest way for me. I think more clearly at a keyboard.

      Delete
  4. Happy to hear the journey continues, PK. Keep those emails going!
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy it's continuing too!

      Delete
  5. PK,

    For the sherriff and I starting out on this path, I cannot thank you enough for posting this. It is reassuring to hear that it is a hard road no matter how long you have been on it, but so worth the bumps and curves of the journey.

    I am sorry that you hit a bump, but glad that you both want to keep travelling the road. It gives me hope for the sherriff and I.

    Boo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate this. Sometimes I feel it's time to stop blogging - what more could I possibly say? To say I might have help you in even a small way means a lot. Thanks

      Delete
  6. You are so right, PK. TTWD is a dynamic relationship - always changing and evolving. It has to be nurtured all the time or it begins to go stale. That is why I like blogging. It makes me examine where we are.

    Sam and I have been so busy facing some serious health challenges and a torn up house, that I do think we need to renew our commitment. We are going away together soon for 5 days, and I am hoping that we can devote the time to some good discussions. I am even thinking of reading him a Cassie book! Sam likes to hear me read, so why not my favorite character.

    I am so glad that you and Nick are working at it, too. There is nothing that brings me so much happiness as ttwd, and I suspect you are the same.

    Love you, Kiddo,
    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess we all know it, but sometimes it's still hard. If you should read a book to Sam, please let me know what he thinks.

      Delete
  7. PK,
    Your last paragraph says it all. Communication always is what this ttwd is all about. I know you and I look forward to meeting your Nick. You are caring and loving with that southern accent thrown in. Keep talking, have the faith. You are on that highway detours and all. The ebb and flow of ttwd are right there for all of us. Let's meet at the next highway rest stop. I hope you both share some of your individual emails to one another.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We'll be together again and discuss how TTWD works in out marriage. But I have no idea what you mean by a southern accent.

      Delete
  8. This is such a good post. You have always been honest (and brave) sharing what's going on between you and Nick. You give hope to all of us. Sometimes life interrupts us when things are going well and we might think that TTWD is over for us. You two are still hanging in there trying to understand it all. We are constantly changing and so are our relationships. What worked six months ago or two years ago might need a little tweaking now. I'm so happy to hear that you're not giving up.

    Please share your emails. Your writing not only helps you clear things up for you, but helps us too. And maybe someone out here will have input that will help you, too. Thanks for sharing.

    Rosie Dee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do try to be honest here. I can hide things if I have to but when I decide to write I might as well tell the complete truth. I expect I'll be sharing some of the emails here.

      Delete
  9. I have always loved your honesty. Happy you are talking together so keep those emails going.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to try. I love getting an email or a text. They are like little gifts to me.

      Delete
  10. Hi PK, :) You know, you two are doing great! From what I can read, the communication that you are doing together has grown in leaps and bounds. That is really cool! It is something to be proud of!

    I love how you both ended up with the same. That sounds very promising! You are doing great, PK! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really hope you're right. We both have a habits of falling silent for long stretches - never a good thing, but sometimes an easy thing. We're working on it.

      Delete
  11. What I think is so cool about you two is that you communicate in whatever way works- talking or email! I think you always find new ways to return to what you love! I admire that so much! You do it in a way that seems so fresh and new!
    We have many times where life or a full house impacts our dynamic.... so I get it all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We do seem to keep coming together in whatever way we can find. I full house is rarely a problem for us!

      Delete
  12. Yep...
    so glad you are talking in whichever way works best
    hugs

    ReplyDelete