I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Darn that real life!

Real life is beginning to annoy me. I know it has its place, but really! I am delighted to see any signs that the economy is improving. I’m very sincere about that, but does it all have to be in the company where Nick works? Nick is working hard; he’s working way more hours than he did 6 months ago. He comes home tired and he often has trouble sleeping. If he wakes up a 3:00AM he mentally begins his day and all he has to get done at work. He doesn’t do it intentionally but it often happens. And today - our one day that we can plan on some privacy I have to stay 3 hours late at work. Darn that real life!

Nick isn’t the one in the family with unending spanko thoughts running through his head all the time (that’s me) but even thought he's tired and doesn’t have much extra energy at the moment, he hasn’t forgotten me. He invited/insisted on a walk Sunday afternoon – the weather was beautiful. His computer has been under the weather so there had been little emailing. On the walk he suggested a contest for the upcoming week. He gave me a number to reach on the scale. If I make it I get any sexual favors I want, if I don’t the favors are his to command. This is always a fun challenge. It’s always fun to win but this way there are no losers!!

He also remembered me Saturday morning. I was peacefully snuggled down for an extra hour (sleeping is something that I am really good at) when he flips back the covers and gives me a few snappy pops with his belt as he’s dressing. Now that made for sweet dreams as I drifted back off. So I really appreciated him thinking of me. I have the hope that someday we will have time, privacy and energy all at the same time.

And just a word of advice to my readers in their 20’s and 30’s if you're just reading out here and only wishing that you had the courage to come out to the one you love – DO IT!! If there is one thing I’ve ever done in my life that Nick would really like to bust my ass for, its waiting so long to come out to him. It wasn’t like he didn’t ask me to be more open with him; he really wanted to know what I wanted from him in every way. But I wouldn’t tell him – I knew what I needed, but I couldn’t bring myself to share what I knew I needed with Nick. I didn’t share until I was 49, and Nick’s older than I am. He loves that I finally came out, but he has often pointed out that he would have been even happier if he had learned about this little desire when he was in his 30’s rather than his 50’s.

Better late than never but I’m telling you – go for it! Tell the one you love or email me (elisspeaks@yahoo.com) and I’ll give you that gentle shove or a kick in the ass, whatever you need!


  1. PK, looking back with regret is a waste of energy, what is past is gone.
    Your generosity is legendary.
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. PK: Yes real life can interfere with your desires getting met, but it does look like he is making an effort.

    And good advice to your younger readers that they should tell their spouse they have these kinks and talk about finding way to incorporate them in their marriage.

    If the spouse isn't that interested, try to convince the spouse that even if he/she isn't into that kink, it would be good for your marriage and relationship to have if the spouse would help meet your needs.

    For example, if you were really turned on by being held down and tickled, wouldn't it be worth it to the spouse to do that for you if it helped your relationship.

    Don't know if that makes much sense, but try to communicate.
    Sometimes, it is best to email if you have difficulty talking about it. An email can be a good way to open the dialog.

    Good luck.


  3. Stupid real life!

    Ah well, it's OUR life, right?


  4. Darn real life needs a spanking! I love the contest idea, total win/win!

  5. Paul,
    We don't regret, but he can always use it as an excellent reason to spank!

    I think you explain it well. Even those guys who don't understand the desire to be spanked can go with it to see if it makes things better. I know it often does.

    That's the truth Grace! Up, down or sideways, it's ours and I'm trading with anyone else!

    Sometimes real life is so annoying it doesn't deserve a spanking, LOL! I'll let you know about the contest.