I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, February 21, 2011

What kind of spanko are you?

I love reading the different blogs out here. I feel that I have learned so much. I enjoy the blogs from people who practice true domestic discipline. I feel honored that they are willing to share their journey out here. I’m always happy to see that the choice to try dd often bring the couples closer and makes the marriages stronger.

I thought I wanted a dd marriage. Now what I have realized is that what I really wanted was what comes with a dd marriage, the closeness. We have never had some of the issues I hear others talk about. We have always, always treated each other with respect – never any shouting or name calling or hateful attitudes from either of us. We share the same views on money and how it should be saved or spent. Because I was the one who had dreamed of having kids and how I wanted to raise them since I was about 3 years old, he usually deferred to me for decision on child rearing, but he was always there to back me up.

Where we needed the most help was knocking down my walls. Now that’s been a toughie, and certainly an ongoing one. For me this began when I got the courage to come out and tell him I was a spanko. This was a MAJOR step for me and a wonderful one for our marriage. Our spanking takes a much more playful and sexual twist. I needed the break through sexually. I was repressed and I really don’t know why, but Nick spanking me excites the body and opens my mind and heart. Part of it was his total acceptance of something many people would have dismissed as crazy.

That doesn’t mean I don’t like to feel his dominance once and a while, especially in the bedroom. It’s a turn on for me. I like the fact he sends me several rules for the week to help on the weight loss and anything that bugs him about the house or laundry. Those last two things alone could keep me in spankings for months! But it’s still more of a teasing thing. None of those thing makes him angry, a little annoyed maybe, but not seriously angry.

I love to read about real dd marriages but I wish there were more of you who are into spanking for the fun and pleasure of it to speak up. I know we’re not alone, I read Grace, Ronnie, Bonnie,Hermione, and others that fall into this category. If you and your love are into spanking for the fun of it or the erotic pleasure of it, please think about comment more. Becoming involved in the spanko community is the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s very freeing and I love all the people I visit with here. I love the confidence I’ve gained by talking to other like me. I just want everyone that reads here to know that you are welcomed to use this space to ask questions and share your experiences. I know sometimes you just need an invitation.


  1. I know that there are many of us who enjoy spanking without the full-on DD aspect. I hope you hear from more of those bloggers.


  2. We have it in our marriage just for the pleasure of it. I don't believe in discipine or punishment in that sense. It doesn't mean that the spankings are not hard sometimes. I think a lot of the perversion comes out of punishment scenarios. Just look at the internet. Between a couple in marriage it can be an awaful lot of fun and......

  3. I was spanked just after my 30th birthday, as mentioned in other blogs. Until recently nobody knew (never asked!) I visited a friend at a pool party she hosted. Afterwards, I used her shower. She came into the room as I was coming out totally naked. She smacked me (playfully) with the showerbrush. I winced and teased - 'No, use your bare hand.' She then spanked me a few times and laughed.

    Since then, I have received bare hand spankings and light paddlings on my bare ass when I visit and it is all in fun. She teased about doing it in front of other female friends, but we haven't gone that way yet. Summer will be here soon enough, so who knows? (*wink*)

  4. PK, I think it's great that we are all so different in our community. I do hope some bloggers will leave comments.

    Thanks for mention PK>


  5. Hi PK,

    The division between DD and non-DD relationships is not always distinct. Many DD couples enjoy the occasional recreational spanking (and sometimes a whole lot more).

    At the same time, many of us who wouldn't use the term DD appreciate a dominant man and a well conceived discipline scenario.

    The motivations may be different, to be sure, but the results are often similar.

    I celebrate the success and happiness of all spankos. This community's diversity is a source of strength. Newbies of every stripe can find friends who were once where precisely they are. They can also find caring and support from the rest of us.

    I'm glad you welcome everyone. I completely agree.


  6. PK, you make the point clearly and well.
    However I neither blog nor, at the moment spank, but I like to comment. LOL.
    Love and warm hugs,

  7. My husband and I are working toward a DD relationship. HOWEVER, we also do not have many of the problems that other relationships have. We don't fight or yell at each other, but like you said, it's mostly about breaking down my walls. I grew up being told and shown that sharing my feelings and keeping everything in the open was wrong and symbolized weakness, by my father. I have never been good at communicating how I feel or standing up for myself because it got me nowhere when I was younger. I feel like I NEED discipline at times, though there are many things that I feel I should be punished for that don't bother my husband at all. Anyway, I also quite enjoy fun/erotic spankings. I guess I'm on both sides of the fence ;)

  8. I like all kinds of spankings....I may not like the ones that are used for correction at the time, but the benefits and feelings that come after is what benefits our marriage. The spankings just for the fun of it are some of the best ones!I think it's very hard to seperate the sexual feelings that come from spankings.

  9. can a newbie comment? just found you ladies and in doing so am finding a part of myself i thought i lost. you make me laugh you make me cry, i am remembering where my soul lives. thank you

  10. Thank you. I think some have a kind of pretend punishment but don't take it seriously.

  11. Hermione,
    I have heard from many friends today – old and new and I appreciate it.

    I agree that many ‘fun’ spankings can be HARD! But yes, when you’re with someone you love it sure can be fun!

    I think you fell into a wonderful situation. Fun for everyone. I hope your summer goes well. Drop by and let us know!

    I’ve loved having so many dropped by today. I love the fact that we are so diverse and yet we really understand each other.

    “At the same time, many of us who wouldn't use the term DD appreciate a dominant man and a well conceived discipline scenario.”

    Truer words never spoken! I never need Nick to be mad but to act in a firm, domineering manner at times – I love it!

    No one is as welcomed here as you are! You are one of my friends from the very beginning and I have learned much from you. I hope to continue for a long time to come.

    You and I seem to have a lot in common. Communicating is still sooooo hard for me. Thankfully since I first came out Nick won’t let it go too long without making me talk. It seems as quickly as my walls come down I try to build them back. Maybe I could get a job as a brick layer!

    I really agree. Sexual feeling will always be there for me during a spanking – one for fun or discipline, and everything in between. And I know it has benefited our marriage.

    Welcome to the club! Newbies are always welcomed. I think most of us felt the same way when we first found this community. I hope to hear from you again!

    Pretend punishments can be the most fun!

  12. PK (and others)

    As an aside, when I visit Kathy and she spanks my bare hiney, all is fine. She now almost always sends me to "The Corner". I am still totally naked and I am made to stand there until she feels I have learned my lesson.

    I am okay with this being done in private. She has said that if she feels like it, she might send me to the corner and then invite friends over. I always cringe when she tells me that.

    Control is key and as long as no lasting harm is done, all is fine. Besides, the prospect of a playful spanking party could be fun. Then, of course, beeing in "Corner Time" with my sore hiney on full display would be both humiliating and arousing!

  13. PK, thanks for visiting my blog, even though I don't really fit in, and I'm not a spanko at all. I really wish I was, it would make things much easier for me! Regardless, I learn from everyone and that's always good :)

  14. Stormy,
    You do fit in here completely. In nearly every couple out here one began as a complete vanilla. You are going through experiences we have been through and especially in your case you need people to discuss these experiences and feeling with. You do not have to be a spanko to find friends here!

    I would love to talk with you if you would like to sometime my email is elisspeaks@yahoo.com

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