I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Less talk SEX!

I need to talk about sex. Now some of you might say ‘go ahead’ but I can’t. Not like I used to. When I first found blogs it was at the perfect time in my life. My children were coming into a time in their lives when they didn’t need my constant attention. Hmmm… maybe it was mom’s time.

I’ve said before that sex didn’t interest me much for the first 23 years of my marriage. I wanted to want it but I just didn’t. Nick was always patient, he never pushed but I’m guessing he was lonely much of the time as I walled myself off. I think it was the sense freedom I was feeling as my kids no longer needed me every minute that first lead to me typing that thrillingly forbidden word ‘spanking’.

I found blogs and more importantly I found friends. There were 4 or 5 women that I became very close to during the summer of 2006. They became, and still are, the best friends I’ve ever had. Now Grace is the only one that has a public blog but I’m in touch with them all frequently. Now our interest in spanking really bonded us but they did more for me than make me feel normal about being a spanko.

With them I was able to talk about sex. I think we talked, back then, like teenagers in a locker room. For me it was the first time I ever got to talk about the joys of sex. I was enjoying sex (oh boy was I enjoying it!!) for the first time in my life and like a teen first discovering sex I needed to talk to other to see if I was normal, to hear what they were trying and enjoying and maybe to brag a little. I needed to talk to my girlfriends about sex!! And let me tell you it worked wonders for me! We teased one another, egged each other on and were happy for one another when we reported back about a great spanking and glorious sex! We discussed everything, female ejaculation, types of orgasm, multiple orgasms, types of vibrators, who enjoyed bondage who was anal erotic, who enjoyed giving blow jobs … nothing was off limits. But at that time we were strangers really, I never thought I’d really meet any of them.

Now I have met these wonderful women. It’s one of the joys of my life but getting to know each other so well has had one down side. We don’t talk about sex like we used to. I think that over time the loss of anonymity played a part in lessening these conversations, both directly to each other or even on the blogs. I guess it’s the same reason you don’t discuss intimate details of your sex life with your neighbor or your co-workers. But I have to tell you I do miss it. It was a real spark to our sex life to be able to talk so openly with such good friends. And I really miss it.

Now there are certainly folks discussing their sex life out here and that helps. I know that there are tons of younger people writing out here now. I run across them from time to time and they write very freely about their sexsploits . But while they are very interesting to read, I like to hear from woman closer to my age 40’s and 50’s, with empty nests or getting close to it. I like to hear from those folks that may not have the energy for sex several times a day but they know the joy of taking your time and making your times together count. Ronnie did a wonderful job with her post the other day and that’s what really got me thinking about it. I think that if I did write more about our sex life it would help kick it up a notch. But it’s harder to do these days for whatever the reasons. So what do you say – shall we work on sharing out sexual adventures? I’m going to try, maybe, I might, well we’ll see…


  1. PK: I know this is directed to the women in your audience but I thoght I'd stick in my two cents worth. I find it interesting that you were so candid about your sex life when you didn't know these women and it was anonymous but once you had actually met them, it was more difficult. I wonder if human beings are somewhat programmed not to want to talk about their sex lives.

    As far as whether you should write more about your sex life at this stage in your life, all I can say is go with your gut and do what's comfortable. But maybe if you do, you might find more 40 to 50 something women who are empty nesters whom you can relate to. And maybe you can do more searching yourself in the blogs to find more of these women.

    I will be interested in seeing what the response to your post is. One problem for you is that when you first started blogging, it was all new and exciting. It's hard to duplicate that. Also as you start your experience as an empty nester, you might write more about that chapter in your life, including the plusses and minuses.

    Good luck and whatever you write, you will always be interesting to read. You remain the writer of a must read blog. And you changed our little world by nurturing other bloggers, including me.


  2. PK, I can't add much to this, but I will always read with interest.
    And on occasion put in my $0.02 worth.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. Emily9:04 PM

    Thanks for the lovely link to Ronnie's post. As a fellow 40 or 50 something woman, I look forward to wherever this line of blogging takes you!

  4. FD,
    Bless your heart, you do make me feel good. I think it helped spice up our love life when I was writing more about it but if I'm the only one writing about it it makes me feel self conscious when I feel like I'm the only one. We'll see what happens.

    I welcome your .02 anytime!!

    Thanks for stopping by. I never really know which direction my writing well take but I hope you will come by often and talk.

  5. PK, thanks for the link.

    I would agree with FD, you have to go with what feels right for you, what YOU are comfortable with and of course Nick. Some wont be comfortable writing about it at all, it up to them of course.

    On a personal level when I write about a spanking and have had sex before/after or during why would I leave it out it's all part of TTWD. my life.

    I like to stop by whatever you write.


  6. That's interesting, PK. of course, you must write about sex if it's what you feel is right for you. This is your blog, to use in any way you want.

    I have decreased the mentions of sex on my blog, and have just finished a post about the fiction I reproduce, with a bit in it about not including sex. But that's just how I feel about what I want to share (or not).

    To each her own!


  7. Anonymous11:31 PM

    PK,I have been reading your blog for months now. I've even gone back to the beginning. I'm in my 40s and almost an empty nester although we only have 1 child. We are fairly similar. I have been married 19 years and just recently told my husband about my spanko fantasies. I have yet to experience my first real spanking. My husband is getting used to the idea. He's afraid of hurting me and not sure what to do, but I'm hopeful. You seem a bit down lately but please don't stop writing. Between you and Bonnie I keep my hopes alive of having a renewed sexual and spanko relationship with my spouse. I've never commented before, but maybe I'll have more to say as time goes on. I've never blogged before so maybe someone can tell me what to do to get started...

  8. Rose,
    It's great to hear from you! I appreciate you reading my site. It helps me to know that there are others out there that share the same hopes and dreams. If you would like to email me I'd love to talk. I do have a few ideas how to get a husband to try a little spanking - LOL! So feel free to email anytime.