I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

One small step

I found myself feeling a little blue Sunday evening. Nick had sent me an email the week before telling me to keep a list of anything I ate at school other than lunch and to write it down for him. I did but I forgot to give it to him and he forgot to ask. I guess that has been the problem with our tiny attempts at discipline. Nothing he has asked me to do or not do has been anything he feels is really important. And that’s good in a way. I mean it’s wonderful for us as a couple but not for attempts at dd.

I love the fact that we don’t have any big issues to work on – money, the kids, temper, being reckless – none of those things are problems for us. So here I am a perfect angel and wanting discipline. Nick tries sometimes but since none of the issues are of ‘real’ importance to him he lets things slip and so I know he doesn’t really care and then I stop caring too.

I was thinking about this Sunday night as I was getting ready to get into bed quietly. It was a few minutes after midnight. Nick told me he wanted me in bed by midnight each night and most nights I make it. When I don’t make it to bed by then I usually only miss by a few minutes. Most of the time he is asleep and doesn’t know I got to bed late. If he’s awake he doesn’t seem care about a minute or two. Stupid as it may be I feel neglected when that happens.

So I was a little down as I crawled into bed about 12:07 Sunday night (early Monday, I guess). Nick turned toward me in his sleep as he usually does – he curls around my back to get me all warm. When he suddenly popped my butt so hard I jumped!

Owwww! “What was that for?” I asked in surprise.

“You having a clock malfunction? You’re late!” he told me and then curled around me and fell back asleep.

Okay so it was only one swat. But I did go to sleep with a smile on my face, and my butt stinging slightly and the thought that he really does care. Maybe he doesn’t care exactly what time I get to bed or if I eat junk at school but he care enough to try a little discipline at times because he knows how much it means to me.

And because he does seem to care I have a feeling I will be getting to bed on time – for a while anyway!


  1. PK, this is such a sweet post, I love it. ;) :D
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. Anonymous9:26 AM

    Aww, that's so adorable! You guys are so awesome.

    Have you guys sat down together and really hammered out the things you want to work on, and the consequences for them? In my limited experience, most guys need hard and fast guidelines or other things cloud their thoughts and they forget about it. Even if they're small rules, like the bedtime one - they're a place to start.


  3. That was such a comforting way to fall asleep - knowing Nick cares enough to swat you!


  4. PK: They say the journey of a 100 miles start with a step. That was a nice swat to show that he does care. The swat certainly sent a good message to you. Maybe he's going to give you the discipline you want.


  5. Anonymous5:28 PM

    this really was a sweet post. I remember when J would do stuff like this in between the first and the second time I brought dd to him. and everytime he did , my heart would soar and I'd go around with a goofy grin on my face for a couple days. . enjoy it!

  6. Anonymous6:50 PM


    I'm so glad you got a swat... and I can so relate to the "for awhile".


  7. Paul,
    Thank you, it's my husband that really sweet.

    I would be happy with just a few rules that he would really make me stick to. But how can you complain because your man is too nice?

    It was a great way to fall asleep - I'll take one good swat every time I go to bed!

    I know you're right I just hope Nick is reading!

    If they only realized what these little things mean to us. If they realized they would do it all the time.

    Sadly my remember to do things he asks are as fleeting as those good swats. If he would only realize that I will listen to him - about most anything it he would just prove to me he will back up what he says.

  8. ohhhhhh PK.. I know what you mean... same thing overhere... He always says he doesn't think I need to be punished because he's really happy with who I am... no swats or spankings for us last weekend, and not coming weekend I already know... but OK... we did buy a hairbrush and he has used it once... which gives me hope *smiles*...

    hugs and cuddles,

  9. Playing catch up PK.

    See he does care and a lovely way to fall asleep.


  10. it is funny how even the little things are so important...and he certainly does care alot :-)