I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, August 27, 2007

New year, old me

Am alive and well and teaching school. Today was the first day with the kid. All went well but I am more tired than I care to admit. I am teamed this year with two men. One I have teamed with for about 5 years and the other is new to our school. I don’t mind being teamed with 2 guys and I am sure there will be advantages but they are being too accommodating!! As I told Eva I want to snap at them “I am a spanko for heaven sake!! I want someone to tell me what to do! Make me! I shouldn’t have to make so many decisions!” Plus this new guy has two paddles in his room. I have thought of asking him if his wife prefers wood or leather!

Now if I may rant for a minute. Starting nearly a month ago my life got busy, hosting a family reunion, taking teenagers to the beach, visiting with Eva and Adam, getting LJ back to school and getting Mollie ready for high school and getting my room and myself ready for the kids. Now I loved the reunion and the visit with Eva and Adam was fantastic!! I really didn’t mind any of the rest but I am stressed, I have had bouts of sadness, I sometimes feel teary. Anyone out there have any idea what might help me feel better? Okay EVERYONE out there have an idea of what might help me? Everyone but Nick!

Nick is the sweetest man in the world. Really he is, but just as sure as I was born a spanko the man was born vanilla! At times like this when I am busy and tired he seems to ‘not want to bother me'. When I need spanking the most it seems nowhere to be seen!

Adam had given Nick and me a love lovely wooded spatula when I was up there. Mollie has taken to it, using it to flip a golf ball and catch it. She keeps trying to get her dad to do it. He often tosses the ball and catches it but last night Mollie kept saying “Use the spatula Daddy, use the spatula!” I finally looked over and said “Yes, Nick, would you just use the durn spatula!!” Is he getting the message? Who know? I am not ever sure he is reading the blog anymore. I hope this is just a natural dry spell that we all experience because I feel that Nick and I are drifting a little. There is no problem - we just need to talk more, hopefully spank more. I am feeling a little disconnected and lonely.


  1. oh pk! I hope Nick is reading and you get some time with the durn spatula! and maybe a belt, and even a hairbrush! I know what you mean needing a stress buster! I hope Nick is able to bust through that stress and you're able to bust through it enough to tell Nick what you need so desperately!

    Your lil'sis,

  2. Anonymous11:31 PM

    Don't you just hate it when you NEED a spanking really badly and it just isn't happening? I've seen that happen all over the blogosphere lately and of course I'm in a permanent dry spell.

    I hope your sweet guy gets on the right wavelength before you use that spatula on his head!!

    *big hugs*

  3. I would say print out this post and put it where Nick would be able to see it, but with Mollie around, chances are she'd see it first! lol Hope you get what you're needing and get you two reconnected again. It's gotta be that full moon!


  4. Get the spatula and the other implements of your pleasure and put them on his pillow when you make the bed.

    *hugs and grins*

  5. PK, dear girl, know the feeling, not so much the teary bit, but the drifting, for me it happens when there are major changes in the air.
    It's a full moon today, as David says, put your favourite toys on Nicks pillow and display your untouched butt, I think he will take the hint.
    Best of luck dear girl.
    Warm hugs,

  6. Hi PK--David and Paul made excellent suggestions! Perhaps you need to start up a daily email with Nick, to help clue him in to how you are feeling, what you want, etc. I know it is hard to just go up to him and tell him what you want, writing it can be much easier. Hoping you get spanked really soon......

  7. Anonymous12:30 PM

    Twin~ Although Nick might have been born vanilla he's obviously opened himself up in the last year or two to the idea of hot fudge and whipped cream sooooooo with that in mind just remind him how much better vanilla is kicked up a notch. He'll be back in the saddle in no time.


  8. Aw, I'm sorry! Sometimes even non-vanillas have dry spells. Daggonit. The craving feels like a curse, sometimes!

  9. Anonymous4:54 PM

    What the heck is in the air? I told my husband how stressed out I was, told him a couple of hours later that I was wanting some fun, and even brought him a ping pong paddle I'd been looking for because I wanted to try it for spanking. Know what he did? Put it away in the GARAGE :-(

  10. Are you still writing your Thursday assignment? That seemed to helping. Hang in there I have my fingers crossed for you.

    Love an Huggs

  11. Carye,
    As far as I know he hasn't read anything. Maybe he will who knows.

    Something tells me the only action we are going to find our here is if you guys start sending me Fantasy Friday stories!

    He had a window directly into my mind with my blog if he wants to know what is going on he can read it.

    When I do what with the bed? I don't understand!

    You may be right but privacy can be an issue too.

    Writing is much easier but I have written and written I am not getting much response.

    I hope he does remember.

    I know we all have dry spells but I just don't know how to come out of it.

    I am so sorry and I do feel for you. I don't get it, I just don't get it.

    No. Adn he hasn't said anything about my stopping.

  12. Hi

    I am new to your site but let me add my 2 cents.

    Your hubby may be a vanilla turning spanko but he is still human. Maybe something is bothering him, something on his mind. Ask about him how he is feeling. Suggest giving you a spanking to help him de-stress.
    Good luck


  13. Kayte,
    I am so glad you stopped by! You are right he does have a lot of things on his mind, I just wish I was one of them. He has a busy weekend coming up I'll wait and talk to him early next week.

  14. I know it is difficult to work such things out but it can be done. It takes time, patience, and, I believe, upfront communication. Understanding where the other person it coming from is so crucial.

    I had to explain to my partner why I needed punishment even when I cleaned up whatever mess I had made of things. He figured since I was motivated to do well and make changes I didn't need to be punished. Oh my was that wrong. So I had to sit down and explain that being punished absolves me of guilt, makes me feel I have paid the price, and truly discourages me from letting it happen again. It helps me grow as a person, not become more dependant. Once he understood he became quite enthusiastic about it. Hmm maybe I did too much explaining.

    I also want to thank you for the kind comments you have left on my blog posts. I love writing and it is always such a kick when people enjoy what I write.
    Purpel Angel