I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Shoulda seen the signs!

Nick isn’t a life long spanko. He is an enthusiastic, happy, surprised former vanilla. At least that is what he would have me believe. But there have been incidents in the past that make me wonder. I can’t remember all the details, but one happened over 25 years ago, we went with another couple to an isolated little town in the mountains where occasional outdoor concert were held. The place was like a real old west town. Very real! All the men were wearing guns and they weren’t toys! The people were very rough looking in a cowboy/Hells Angels’ sorta way.

The guys had their rather expensive cameras with them and I do remember our friend (and future best man) saying to Nick, “If they try to go after the cameras, throw them the women and run like hell!” Maybe they weren’t feeling so protective at the moment! We went into a horse tack shop that had some beautiful items. We walked past a beautiful leather saddle with silver trim. I remember Nick looking at me with all appearance of seriousness and asked “If I bought that for you, would you wear it?” We hadn’t been dating long and I remember thinking that this guy was a little different. I don’t remember if I answered.

Jump ahead about 20 years to the first time I mentioned spanking to him. We had just done some remodeling the basement carving out a bit of space to put in a computer room with a sofa and a TV. Mostly it was for the kids. I had no idea what I was really wanting back then, but I knew I wanted to try spanking. The kids were 14 and 9 so we had NO privacy. I casually mentioned that I wish we had a lock on the new basement room. When I got home the next afternoon Nick slipped the new key in my hand, he had put a lock on that very day! Oh, the wasted time!! He was always willing.

Finally in May of this year I told him everything and asked him to read all your blogs. I don’t think I had started commenting yet but I was chomping at the bit. I had him start with Bonnie spanking stories and then he branched out from there. I remember the first thing he said to me was, “I can’t believe these were written by women, they seem to be what men would fantasize about.” So there you have it, maybe he just hadn’t come out to himself!


  1. The realization can be startling. I am still pondering the affects it has had on my life recentli. I am a spamko, I desire the discipline. It keeps me focused and I feel safe & loved. I really wish there were a sexual connection, but there isn't. HonBun & I use it as our communication time. I seem to open up to him more freely than face to face conversation. D :)

  2. Anonymous10:51 AM

    Saddle-wise, Elis - you don't have a "my little pony" thing hidden, do you?? ;)

    I love when you post like this about you and Nick.... brings back good memories for me. I'm thinking of starting a "Kinky" scrapbook!!!


  3. Anonymous11:20 AM

    Seems like 20 years of spanking fun may have been lost, on ~both~ your parts. A lesson for anyone reading that hasn't had the nerve to 'come out' to their spouse. But, the glass is still more than half full. You have a good 30-40 years to make up for lost time!

    -Todd & Suzy

  4. Yes dear Elis, plenty of time to make up for lost opportunities.
    Maybe Nick will turn your butt into the finest and most delicate leather, can you see where I'm going.
    Have a great trip, have fun and come home happy.
    Warm hugs,

  5. Anonymous3:49 PM

    Such tremendous stories from you, my friend... always just wonderful!! So Nick was hiding something not only from you but from himself, eh? Cool... and I take his comment about "our" writings to be quite the compliment!!

    Hope you have a magical time and come home satiated and sore and ever so smiley and strippedy!!

    Hugs, Tiggr

  6. Anonymous4:43 PM

    Elis~ It's a wonderful thing to watch you and Nick grow with each other. Thanks for letting me catch a glimpse of who you are becoming!!


  7. That is so great....of course the valedictorian would come up with the comment about the saddle....another laugh out loud post. I am a 6 year veteran of online dating. I cannot tell you how many married men have approached me. They love their wives, but they won't get spanked, they won't even have sex. And here in blog land a handful of women who cannot seem to get enough. Amazing! Send me a title, I am counting on you :(

  8. D,
    I really desire discipline. But I am grateful that I can enjoy the erotic one too.

    A kinky scrapbook - now that could be fun!

    Todd & Suzy,
    I try not to dwell on the lost time but sometimes I could kick my self!

    Here's hoping!

    From you mouth to Nick's ear!!

    It's the best journey I've been on!

    I'm thinking, I'm thinking!!

    I will probably talk to you guys Sunday night. I am taking the computer because I am not leaving it with Mollie. But I don't know if I can get on line or not. Don't plan to try hard. I am planning to play with Nick, not the computer!!


  9. Anonymous11:49 PM


    Please let Nick know that women have fantasies too, and good ones at that. The greatest fantasy is being able to live out all of the other fantasies.

    ...And there's no better time to start! Have fun.


  10. Hi ellis,

    I have just finished reading through your blog and your writing is a pleasue to read.

    It's really helpful to hear about your journey from the beginning as I am just beginning mine.

    Take care,



  11. Well if you watch Inside the Actor's Studio some of the women that they have had arn't very "Lady Like" in some of the things they say. I remember hearing a fact that when it came down to the question "Fav. curse word" lots of them said even dirtier words then men.

    Guess what I'm saying is that human sexuality is just that human. Comes in different forms and different needs. That women can have desires and fantasies as "dirty" -I used the " " because I don't think they are dirty.- as the guys. No matter what though fantasy's and acting them out are fun and can bring alot to a relationship :).

  12. Bonnie,
    Nick is now 100% certain that women do indeed have wonderful fantasies!

    Anne Elizabeth,
    Nick has blown my mind since I came out to him. He is the best!
    I am enjoying your blog! Thanks for stopping by.

    I still see us as just beginning. We can keep up with each other's progress!

    Fantasies make the world go round.