This post first appeared in 2009. A lot's changed since then. But I still remember and understand the feeling of fear I had then.
Do you ever worry about someone finding out about your spanko side? I know most of us worry at least a little. And I know for some the idea is extremely frightening and we try to hide it.
I know it was scary for me at first. I have changed a lot over the years I’ve been here. In real life I have told one close friend and my sister (Hell, mostly everyone I know on FB knows, because I'm trying to sell books!) Both of them had the same reaction – surprise, amusement, total acceptance and underlying it all a complete lack of understanding of what spanking really means in my life. And that’s fine. I don’t care if they understand all the underlying thought on submission and dominance. They just know I enjoy being spanked and that the ability to open up to Nick and have him accepting my kink has made us a much happier couple.
I’m never planning to share with my kids – at least while they are kids. Of course LJ is twenty-one. I have no reason or plans to tell him but if he found out I believe that for the 30 seconds or less he actually thought about it (that’s about as long as he thinks about anything unless I write it up as a play) he would be amused. Now Mollie on the other hand would probably be mortified, about the spanking and equally about the fact we still have sex at all. (Now, ten years later, both kids know and they reacted about as I'd suspected. But in truth, neither really care.) No one on my side of the family would care and where Nick’s family would probably be embarrassed if they found out I know them well enough to be sure that they would never say a word to us.
If I was found out at work I would certainly have to take the blog private and that would be sad. I don’t think I would lose my job after all these years. And the reason I think I would keep my job is because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS THING WE DO!
I look back in my blog and I can’t find one thing shocking in it. I have always been proud of a post I did that first year saying that we should not have to hide our kink, you can read it here if you are interested. All I’ve ever said is that I believe in consensual adult spanking. That I think it is sexy and that it makes me feel safe and protected. I have been married to the same man for twenty-six years and we have an active sex life that includes spanking. Sorry I can’t see anything wrong with any of this.
So while I know we don’t want to be found out I hope no one is ashamed of TTWD. Letting the spanko side of me out is the best thing I have ever done. It turned a hum-drum marriage into a strong, loving bond. It changed me from dreading sex to really looking forward to the time we can get the house alone. I am a much, much happier person. Being happier make me a better teacher, a better wife and a better mother. It was the catalysis in me losing forty pounds and it’s all tied up in my desire and goal to lose more. I wish our lifestyle could be discussed in the opened. Not to try to talk others into it but to encourage those who know that they have these tendencies to accept themselves and embrace what so many of us know works.
So what would I say if my ‘secret’ was to be discovered and I was confronted with it? Well, I remember an old episode from Star Trek, the Next Generation. In this show a woman from another
planet was getting ready to marry a man from Earth, a rather conservative man. Her grow daughter had her doubts because of their differences. The final straw came when the mother showed her daughter the wedding dress. In total shock the daughter looked at her mother in and asked in an incredulous voice, “Mother! You can’t mean you are not going to be naked at your own wedding!” The actress was so good at delivering that line I found myself shocked that the bride would be wearing clothes.
So if anyone should ever say to me, ‘You don’t mean your husband spanks you!” I’ll look at them with shock and concern and say, “Of course he does! Doesn’t yours?”