I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, March 06, 2019

The magic pill that brought me here

Every now and then it’s interesting to look back and see what brought each of us here. I’ve posted about it before, but for my new friends, here goes.

When my children were ‘middle aged kids’, nine to fourteen, my parents health began to decline and I took over much of their care. I was teaching full time, caring for them, doing the lion’s share of the kid care which - was mostly chauffeuring at the time and I even did the cooking back then. Nick definitely helped out whenever he could, but I felt the responsibility.


When Mom passed away I didn’t have much time to grieve as my dad Parkinson worsened.  When he passed away fifteen months later, both their deaths seemed to hit me at once and it was a very sad time. But I had two kids to look after and life went on. Nick and I were not close at the time. It was definitely a roommate situation. We got along, we never fought, we just led our separate lives as well matched roommates.

Then, fairly suddenly, something was wrong with me. I’d be fine when I woke up and I could teach during the day. But shortly after I got home, I was in pain. First it was my hands and fingers. I’m talking really bad pain. It would be gone the next morning, but by mid-afternoon it was back and it was spreading. It soon became excruciating. I couldn’t get up from a chair by myself. I couldn’t turn my head. I couldn’t even read a book because putting my two fingers together to turn the page hurt so much I’d cry.


I began going to bed right after dinner so I could go to sleep to get rid of the pain. Mollie brought her little mirror from her room and put it on my nightstand so I could see the TV before I went to sleep. I couldn’t turn over once I got in bed. Yet the next morning the pain would be 90% gone, until that afternoon.

I went to several doctors. I had x-rays, injections, scans, no one seemed to know what it was and they gave me pain pills – which didn’t touch the pain. I dealt with this horrible pain for about four months. It doesn’t seem like a long time when I think about it now, but nearly one hundred twenty days in that kind of pain made it seem like a long time, at the time.

Then I went to a rheumatologist.

This man looked at my hands and oh so gently felt of my fingers and listened to my description on my days. Then he said, “I think it’s Palindromic Rheumatism.” And went on to tell me a little of what that was. But basically, like the doctors before him he said, “Take one of these pills each morning for a month, then one every other day for a month.” I took one the next morning before school. 

By three that afternoon I was somewhat surprised that the pain hadn’t shown up. By seven or eight that night I was amazed that the pain hadn’t returned. This enormous pain had been so much a part of my life for the time I had it.  I remember actually looking over my shoulder wondering where the monster was. It never came back. With that one little pill, it was over. Of course I took them exactly as the doctor had prescribed and now, nearly thirteen years later I always have some on hand. When there is a ‘flair up,’ I usually feel it beginning in a finger. If the pain is still there the next day I take one of these magic pills and it’s gone. I rarely have to take more than five pills a year. This miracle for me was the very medication Windy spoke of in her post recently – methylprednisolone.


After all that, after feeling that my  life was essentially over, I suddenly felt wonderful! And I wasn’t planning on wasting the feeling. What do you do when you get your life handed back to you? I didn’t do to Disney World – I typed, s-p-a-k-n-k-i-n-g into my Google search!

I found a few stories, a few pictures and then I found Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts and I bloomed. I read every blog I could find, I began blogging myself, first as Cassie and then as me. I met others like me that I could talk to and I could ask questions without strange or disapproving looks. These were just normal, everyday people with whom I shared a slightly strange desire.

And lastly and most importantly – blogging gave me the courage to open up to Nick. To  tell him of my desire. Nick was stunned, incredulous, shocked… pick your word, but mostly pleased and willing to try whatever it was I wanted to try. At fifty and fifty-five we went from friendly roommates to a hot, sexy couple who couldn’t keep our hands off one another. Mollie would often wander into the kitchen or living room to find us hugging or maybe sharing a quick kiss. Usually she would snap, “Get a room!” to which we would reply, “We have one. You’re in it. Get out.”


We didn’t stay at that sexy peak. If we had, we’d probably be dead now. But it’s still so much better. We are so much closer than we were the first twenty some years of our marriage. I’m most grateful for the pain I went through, which lead me eventually to a wonderful doctor, a magic pill, and a desire to seize life. That led me to reading blogs, friends, blogging myself and eventually writing. 

You never know what you may need to go through to get to where you want to be. 

24 comments:

  1. Hi PK, I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing. Who would have thought a little pill would lead to ttwd lol. They are definitely miracle pills!

    I can't imagine deaking with pain like that on a constant basis, it must have been such a difficult time. I'm so glad you got a diagnosis and that the prednisone effectively deals with flare ups.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. It was rough for sure, but sometimes you need a real catalyst to kick start the next stage of your life. This was mine. So thankful for the magic pill.

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  2. Anonymous4:41 AM

    PK I absolutely love this post. Sometimes it's hard to see past the dark and realise the windowless tunnel may be leading us to a better place. Who knew?? Thanks for sharing this. It's a great reminder. Hugs -- shell

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    1. It's hard to understand what might be happening when you are in the middle of a storm. But storms do end. You just have to hang on.

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  3. PK,

    I love this post. I lost my mom almost 1 year ago. It has not been a fun year. I had been reading your blog and several others for at least a year maybe longer, searching for something. Then Meredith posted something at New Twist, that I had to respond too. I totally blame her for starting me on this journey with my Sheriff.

    However, what is fascinating is how closely our lives mirror each others. The Sheriff and I are closer than ever and growing stronger. While I have not had the experience of GG or punishment spankings like you bloggers have, I have no doubt we will get there one day.

    Especially with this community of support.

    I am so glad you got your "magic" pill and helped me discouver this world.

    Boo

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    1. One thing is sure you never get old enough so that you don't need your mom and mine is still very much missed after 16 years. But life moves on and I'm so happy with how close Nick and I are now.

      We began with sexy spanking to bring Nick in since he was unsure of what I really wanted. You'll get there if you want it.

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  4. Life is just like Forest Gump said, a box of chocolates and you never know what you're going to get. The strangest things can lead you to a journey of a lifetime.

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  5. I didn't know this about you. Love that everything worked out and that you are here. You and Nick are too cute. It's been quite the journey but worth it for sure.

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    1. It has been a journey and one full of ups and downs. But far more ups than downs!

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  6. What a lovely post. It's great that everything worked out for you.

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    1. I really do feel so very blessed!

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    2. And I can actually comment on this blog, whereas your other one never let me! It's nice to connect again with you here.

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    3. Bethany, are you talking about The Reading Room? I wonder why you couldn't comment. I don't like that. I love talking to my readers.

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    4. Yes, the Reading Room. For some reason, it always rejected my name/URL. You used to very kindly comment on my Saturday Spankings posts and I felt bad that I could never comment on yours.

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    5. I have no idea why that is. Maybe that's why hardly anyone from the writing community ever commented. Sometimes I felt like I was the only one ever commenting and it made me feel strange. I'd love to hear from you anytime - elisspeaks@yahoo.com

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  7. Hi PK, :) I'm so sorry that you had to go through such excruciating pain back then. I am overjoyed that you have what you need to keep it at bay. Thank goodness!!

    I'm not sorry that it all led you to the land! Sounds like you and Nick made some awesome changes too! So happy for you! Happy for us to have you around too! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

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    1. It was really bad for while it lasted. But looking back well worth the pain. And I'm really happy to be here.

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  8. Anonymous6:50 PM

    PK,
    One of the best lines ever is you to Mollie, "We have a room, you're in it. Get out!" HAHAHAHAHA I love that every time I have seen it. So glad this longasseed medication gave you relief from that awful pain. I'm glad it worked wonders for you! There really is something incredible to the ttwd type thing at the very beginning....sex in overdrive, yes! Great true story, PK! Hugs! Windy

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    1. That line is very true and used often! I often regret that I didn't come out to Nick when we were younger - but then we wouldn't have that great burst of sexy in middle age and that was fun!

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  9. Great post, PK! I don't remember reading about the pill before. I'm so glad for all that resulted from it. And, I loved the line to Molly, too!
    Rosie Dee

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    1. I'm sooo glad them medicine worked. You probably like the line much better than Mollie does!

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  10. Loved this story, PK ... How fabulous was it that you found your hot and sexy in your fifties. I know the newness and excitement such as you had at first are hard to maintain - we've gone through many phases as well ... our last year's ttwd being another for us. You never know ... there might be another hot and sexy waiting for you just around the corner ... hugs! ... nj

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