I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, April 23, 2018

Nick takes a stand

I’ve come here often enough over the years to point out Nick’s shortcomings when it pertains to TTWD. Seems like it’s time for me to take a look in the mirror myself.

Many times, I’ve asked Nick to make ‘rules,’ just a few. But something real or something he cares about. He’s sometimes done this. But then it seems we would often fall into a destructive pattern. I’d keep the rule for a while, usually the first time I’d break it or forget it he’d do a little spanking.

I’d get back on track until I or we, got busy or something distracted us. I’d ignore the ‘rule’ and he wouldn’t say much of anything and he didn’t spank me.  I’d assume he hadn’t really cared about the rule in the first place and so I’d continue to ignore it and, it seemed, so would he. Eventually I’d come here and complain about Nick not taking things seriously. 

Although we didn’t necessarily have this discussion, our thought and occasional comment came down to something like this.

Nick: I gave you a rule but you just blew it off.

PK: Well why didn’t you do something about it?

Nick: I did, but you kept on ignoring what I’d asked 
you to do.

PK: Well, you should have spanked me again.

Nick: Well, you should have done as I asked to begin with.

Sigh, I never claimed to be submissive.

But it’s not even that. Submissive or not, if it’s reasonable (and Nick is always reasonable) I should be doing what he asks. Especially if I’ve asked him to make some rules to begin with. I shouldn’t use it to try to jerk him around. And I realize that often what I was trying to do. He may have realized it too.

Our TTWD often revolves around healthier lifestyle for me. Try to reduce my weight for medical reasons. He’s always been encouraging and hasn’t ever made me feel bad that I’m not the shape of a fashion model. My sister is on a weight loss program and is doing very well. She text me her progress up or down each Friday. Nick asked if I’d like to base my progress off hers. His suggestion is that I lose at least half of what she does or gain no more than half of what she may have gained. Very reasonable and it was fun to try to shadow her without her knowing. He said it was my responsibility to email him both my progress and hers weekly.

The first week I did and all was well. I’m pretty sure I did it the second week too. But not the third. He finally asked me about it on Monday and I told him I’d eventually found out that Sis was up two pounds and I was up one. He agreed that those numbers saved me from consequences and we let it go. 

Or so I thought until Wednesday afternoon. When Nick came to me and said, “I’ve been thinking it over and…”

Come back tomorrow for Nick's thoughts.


  1. hi Pk, What is that phrase again..... OH yes, Be careful what you wish for!
    love Jan, xx

    1. How many times I've had that run through my mind.

  2. Hi PK,

    I can relate to this, I have felt and reacted the same way numerous times!

    I really love how you two are communicating and agree with Jan. I'll definitely be back tomorrow!


    1. It does happen - what we mean to do and what we do is not always the same thing.

  3. Oh, PK,
    This is wonderful! I've often thought of my own reaction to rules. I love to 'poke' to get my husband to do something. It probably only frustrated him. Showing appreciation for the care and leadership I see from him has made a difference. I still poke and tease but try to do the serious things right. I have to say, having regular 'play' a few times a week helps me be satisfied too. I'm excited to see that you're looking at this from a new perspective. It sounds so reasonable and like it could produce really good results for your marriage and make you both happier.
    Rosie Dee

    1. I poke, but so slightly he doesn't realize it. So I'm going to have to try to talk more. So hard for me.

  4. yay, Nick! ... waiting for part 2.
    In the meantime, can I make a suggestion ... as someone who has had to work with employees re goal setting (tied to incentive pay) ... carry your communication a little further, and together agree to a couple a 'rules' (vs having Nick make them for you) but this time physically write them down and then tuck them away ... you might find that makes a difference in how you view those rules ... or not ;)) ... hugs ... nj

    1. We do work on them together. He's asked for suggestion and always ask if I think everything he's suggested is fair. He's usually more than fair. I haven't ever written them down, that's a thought.

  5. I hope Nick said what you want to hear, good luck .

    1. I just felt better that he had something to say.

  6. The hook - obviously a real writer, you are. You got me. I'll be back tomorrow. Come on Nick! Make the girl sing. :)

    1. LOL - harder and harder these days to get blog readers. I've got to work for them.

  7. look forward to the continuing story