I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, May 26, 2013

A question to ponder

Done. Yes there are a few workdays to get through, but in reality, it’s done. I survived. A few more years to go and I can say that for good. 

The question I’ve been pondering is actually on topic for a change. Let me give you a bit of background.  Each day the last week of school was particularly difficult. The boss was being extremely annoying, we were testing, we didn’t get our planning time and I was coming home each day completely wiped out.

One afternoon Mollie needed to go to Wally World and ask me to go along.  I was tired, but I don’t like missing time with her. We were nearly through shopping when she got a text telling her that her little cousin’s baseball game was starting in 15 minutes.  She really wanted to go, but I most definitely didn’t.  I told her to call and see if Nick could meet us over at the field and take me home.  I felt a little ‘dumped’, but I really didn’t mind.

We’re at the field in just a few minutes and I was sure we’d beat Nick.  Mollie and I sat talking for a while and then I got a call from Nick.

“I thought you’d drive back around to where I parked, but you weren’t even looking for me.” He sounded annoyed. 

Now my needle has been fully pointing on ‘pissed as hell’ for nearly two weeks, but I’ve stuffed it down because the family is not who I’m pissed at.

I wasn’t hateful, but I I said, “Sorry we thought we got here first, I didn’t even know which car you were driving.”

“Well you only have two choices,” he answered somewhat sarcastically.

My mood quickly spiked into the pissed as hell mode! But I don’t blow up at my husband. I kept my cool and simply said, “If you’ll drive on around here we can transfer the groceries.”

“I don’t even know where you parked.” He snapped.

All right now there are only about 5 short rows of cars so I answered. “Give it a try, we’ll stand beside the car and with a little effort you’ll recognize us.” And then I hung up.

Normally on the rare occasions when Nick snaps at me I dive behind my walls, raise them to there full height and sit behind them nursing my hurt feelings and muttering mean things about Nick in my head, but I was simply too tired to make the effort. Now if you’re looking for a real knockdown, drag out fight, sorry that’s as wild and hateful as it got.

I really had no reason to be mad at Nick.  And I really wasn’t, but it wasn’t my fault he had had to come out either and I was sure we had beaten him there so I wasn’t looking for him.  Mostly I was just mad because I was tired and frustrated because of work.

We talked very little on the way home and then he pretty much left me alone the rest of the evening.  Isn’t that what most men would do with an angry wife? Trust me spanking was the last thing on my mind, as I’m sure it was with Nick. But later I began to wonder.  What would have happened if Nick had decided at that time to spank me?

That’s when I began to ponder. How would I have reacted if Nick had brought me in and given me a real spanking – for snapping at him and hanging up or maybe just for letting work creep over into my real life enough to ruin our evening.  Now I know a couple of ‘love taps’ would have pissed me off further, but a real spank, one that I didn’t expect, didn’t want, one that really hurt.  How would I have reacted? I have no idea.

I have a vague fantasy of being forcible spanked.  Usually I’m most willing so it would have to be when I’m truly mad about something.  I like the idea of struggling and telling him to stop! Telling him I’m not in the mood to play, only to have him keep on as I gradually realize he’s not playing either. I fantasies about finally crying during a spanking and calling him names and just releasing so much penned up emotion and then to have him hold me when it’s over as I sort out my feelings.

This is not a request for this to happen; it’s certainly not a complaint against Nick. It’s truly just a scenario that intrigues me and one I doubt I’ll ever experience.  I do know I wouldn’t hold it against Nick.  I mean if he tried it and I really didn’t like it in any way, shape or form then in a calmer time I’d tell him or email him letting him know that I’d rather him not do that again, that it didn’t work for me. But I wouldn’t hold it against him for trying. And what if it did work, what it he’d tried it and it really did snap the mood, stress, hateful feeling I had to live with for weeks, food for thought.

I know many of my friends out there don’t do any kind of discipline.  What do you all think?  How would you react if your guy really spanked you when you were in a bad mood?  Do you think it would be enough of a shock to break your mood or would he draw back a nub?


  1. I only did this twice and both times it worked.
    Bobbie was ranting and raving with her head spinning around and I got off the chair and smacked her hard a few times on the butt and she snaped out of it, she got quiet and calm.
    I hope Nick reads this it sounds like you are really interested in it.


    1. Nick has never done this - but then I never rant and rave at him. Usually when I am upset with him I go quiet. Nick reads here sometimes, but i never know when.

  2. PK,
    this is something that you both need to talk about, when neither are wound up.
    Love and warm hugs,

    1. Paul,
      I'm sure we will. I find it interesting, it's not something I need him to do. It's just interesting.

  3. Since it is summer for you after this week talk to Nick and ask him to try it! I know it would work for me. And boy I am a reactionary head sometimes. That reigning in thing is what I need.
    You should experiment... LOL. Maybe I will show my Scotsman this post.

    1. Minelle,
      I'll probably ask him to look at it. But honestly I don't know if I'd like him to do it or not.

  4. I've wondered what would happen in this situation myself. Unfortunately, I'm not so confident that Musicman wouldn't draw back a bloody stump if he did it.

    1. Faerie,
      I think we all know pretty much how we would react. But I'm curious as to how I'd feel after it happened.

  5. Anonymous9:08 AM

    PK, first let me ask you: How in heaven, you'll be able to work 4 more years at your job? Can not you change job? You know, all this stress is usually put on the body. In a negative purpose.

    I do not know if I should answer the question, we use not punishmnet spanking, and will never do that.
    What you're looking for is maybe to cry and thus get rid of the negative energy. This can be done in different ways, you do not have pain before.

    1. Mona Lisa,
      I really can handle my job - I come here to complain and that helps. I love teaching the children. My boss isn't a good one, but he and I usually try to avoid one another.

      We've been spanking for almost 7 years, but I've never cried. That's something I'd like to be able to let go and do, but it's never happened.

  6. The good thing is that you can come here and vent and fantasize about being taken.

    Hope the ventng made you feel better.

    But it would be nice to have him do it and see how you would react.


    1. FD,
      I agree. Venting here helps a great deal. But I am curious as to how I'd react.

  7. i think all us spankees have had that fantasy in one way or another - and it sure is food for thought. Its one thing you as the spankee being made but another for the spanker to be mad. If Nick was mad at the time then its a good thing he didnt do that. But I do think he should now spank you "after the fact" now that he is a bit calmer. I for one would have gotten a spanking for hanging up and arguing and being snappy.
    I suppose when I think about it i do get immediate spanks like that. NOt full on over the knee spankings but for example yesterday i got snippy and i got 5 bent over the kitchen bench.
    How would I react if he forceable took me across his knee while Im mad at him. I really dont know. I'd really like to find out though.
    Good topic for converstation PK
    P.S. Hope your stress levels drop now that school is just about out. :)
    hugs kiwi xxx

    1. Kiwi,
      Nick has never spanked me when he was angry about anything. He doesn't get angry about much, but when he does spanking is not on his mind at all. He didn't like it once when I said something really derogatory about myself and he spanked me, but he was more disappointed about it than angry.

  8. Has happened and works for me. I think you'd take it very well and would accept it.

    Have a fun and relaxing holiday.


    1. Ronnie,
      I know I would accept it, and I think it would be helpful at times.

  9. Have to say, I don't honestly know. I do know it is one of my fantasies and I too doubt it will ever become a reality but if it did, I just don't know. Wouldn't mind finding out, at least once anyway

    1. Sunny,
      That's me exactly! I just want to know what it would be like. And with our husbands if we didn't like it I feel we could just tell them. Maybe someday.

  10. I have gotten spanked until I cried. What really did it for me wasn't so much the pain, but Hubby's words in combination. I don't always cry. When I do, it's such a wonderful release. I hope your fantasy comes true some day. Even if its only once. (((hugs)))

    1. lilmisses,
      I think it would be a great stress reliever too, but I have never been able to 'let go' and cry. Nick it great, but he's not much of a lecture/scolder. I come closer to crying when I do the lecturing myself (in my head).

  11. While as you know I do not do discipline nor am I looking for it, I have definitely fantasized about this; however, I do not know how I would truly feel about it if it were to happen for real. There certainly are times in which I think it would be helpful. It may be a fantasy meant to stay a fantasy...or maybe not. I'd try anything once...though I don't imagine it would ever happen so it will likely remain a fantasy :-)