I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

This and that in my life

I walked in the house yesterday afternoon to a ‘look’ from Nick, a small grin and the statement “It’s a good thing I trust you.”  I had to laugh when he told me what he was talking about.  The branch of our bank in our little town is closing. I’m not about to drive to the next town to cash a check so I decided to open a small checking account in another bank in town.  I wanted to see how much was in our account, but I couldn’t remember our password. I called Nick to get it.  That was all I asked, I know he’s busy at work.  I closed my account at one bank – which took forever to get their check-writing machine to work.  It seemed to take forever opening the new account too, so I got home about ninety minutes late. 

Nick was saying “It gives you a funny feeling when your wife calls to get the bank account password and then she doesn’t come home.” LOL! Poor fellow!  But I don’t imagine he was really very worried.

We have our empty nest back.  And we did celebrate, as we should have.  I can’t say the girls (PK, Badass or even Wimpy) are back on a full time basis, but Nick has a wonderful way of at least coaxing them back for an afternoon visit. A little spanking and some great lovin’.

I’m feeling better about my hurt feelings.  As many of you guessed it was about my news about LJ and Colin that caused the situation.  You all helped me enormously.  Everyone who commented and emailed me seemed genuinely happy for them.  Everyone I’ve shared with at school has been supportive, and even the folks I shared with at our church – my parent’s friends who are in their eighties wished them both well and seemed happy for us all. 

Even the three that hurt me so – they weren’t ugly about it, there sum total response was “Oh…” and a complete change of subject.  Not exactly how the mother of the groom expects her closest friends to react.  I’ve written the letter.  I’ll smooth and refine it until I get it right. It will be there to send if I ever decide to.

But as Lillie pointed out to me, they have shown me who they really are.  Not bad people, but their feelings against same sex marriage are stronger than their love for LJ and me.   That tells me a lot.

I’m going to be fine – LJ and Colin are happy.  Nick, Mollie and I are happy for them and nearly all our friends are supportive.  Really what more could I ask for?  If I still find myself feeling hurt and anger to those few, well maybe Faerie said it best in an email –

I've always thought a life well led is the best revenge, LJ’s doing that quite beautifully.”


  1. I read the other post, but I don't remember if I commented. I am glad you have found peace with their response.
    And I am happy for you and your family. When is the wedding? : )

    1. Blue Bird,
      I'm happy too. Don't know when the wedding is, probably late this year or early next.

  2. PK,
    wise words from Faerie, I believe that also.
    Love and warm hugs,

    1. Paul,
      She is very smart! I guess we all know that but it help to hear it every once and a while.

  3. That faerie is a wise lady...she is absolutely right. LJ has chosen the right life path for Him...and Colin. /we should be happy and support that.hugs abby

    1. Abby,
      LJ has always been a wise soul and a deep thinker. I'm so happy that they made this decision.

  4. First, that is a funny story about the bank account number and being late:)

    I am so happy you heard from many and had so many people reached out to you. You sound more at peace in this post. I am glad you wrote the letter even if you never send it. Wishing you a great day ahead.

    1. SNP,
      Yep, I could have slipped off with the whole account! LOL!

      The letter and refining it has kept me busy and I'm enjoying it.

  5. Yes agreed. I wish people would not feel they needed to qualify anything that altered from their belief system.
    It it is easier to look st others than it is to look at ourselves.
    Mother Theresa said, if you judge people, you have no time to love them.
    Be happy, it is a wonderful tribute to you and Nick that LJ found love that completes him and your family!

    1. Minelle,
      Mother Theresa said many, many wonderful things - such a smart lady. Colin is a super addition.

  6. I am happy you are feeling a bit better and able to find some peace. I am happy you and Nick were able to spend some quality time together. I love Faerie's words - eloquent and true. And I love love.

    1. Terps,
      I do feel so much better, thanks. Our time together was great.

  7. LOL - The bank acount/being late story had me cracking up. Congrats to you and Nick on your 'empty nest' celebration.

    I am sorry that you were hurt by your 3 friends. If their narrow-minded values are more important to them than people, I have to wonder how they treat their family members.

    Love is so precious. When we find someone that we love and who loves us, as LJ and Colin have, nothing else matters!


    1. Cat,
      I don't guess Nick was too very worried!

      There is a large age difference between LJ and Colin - 10 years. I told LJ when they first began dating that you rarely spent your life with the person you loved at 16. His response was, "True but you do sometimes spend your life with the person you fell in love with at 26." Guess he knew what he was talking about.

  8. Forgetting important passwords! There should be a rule forbidding that. I think I have to tell Lisa on a daily basis the password for our internet banking.
    Nick's reaction is great.

    Isn't it a great idea that you did not get even one negative reaction? OK, some people, about 3 in all the world, were not extremely overenthusiastic, but hey, when you bombard them with constant happiness in the days to come, that situation will change in no time.

    1. Bas,
      I used to do my banking and bill paying and my parents - I hated it and was thrilled when Nick offered to take it all over. I rarely even look at the account, I can't remember the stupid password!

      I was impressed with one teacher at school who is NOT a fan of same sex marriage and some of my friends in their 80's, that I could certainly forgive for not being as openminded still told me how happy they were for me and the boys. In their case their friendship with me overcame some of their own believes.

  9. Had to giggle at the bank account thing. I guess the wife asking for the password then not coming home would strike fear in any husband LoL

    I'm so happy to hear you are feeling a little better now and more at peace. Faerie said it beautifully.

    Glad you two enjoyed your empty nest too :)


    1. Roz,
      I could understand a husband's distress.

      Very nice empty nest, I still talk to Mollie daily. And it's nice to feel so much better.

  10. Anonymous7:19 PM

    That was a cute interaction between husband and wife. Loved it.
    Very wise, that little Faerie :) and you have a wonderful life, PK :D
    Congrats on everything!

    1. Lillie,
      I think I do have a wonderful life, best husband and kids in the world!

  11. PK: The banking story was pretty funny.

    And, as usual, Faerie came up with the perfect comment. You can't let three small minded people affect your joy and happiness for your son. It's their loss that they can't join and share your good times. And another plus of blogging that you felt the love and support of all your blogger friends.


    1. FD,
      I had let them steal some of my joy, but no more - I'm right, they're wrong and that's just the way it is. And boy, I'm grateful for all of you guys!

  12. That's a cute bank story...I hope you can focus on the supportive folks...life's to short to worry about those who bring you down.