I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sorry folks, I'm still thinking

I’m still playing in my head digging idly around to see what comes to the surface. My recent posts have gotten Nick and I talking face to face more about TTWD (still a very difficult thing for me after all this time – give me my keyboard anytime!). So if you are tired of my random thoughts you might want to skip me today.

We were talking a little Sunday morning and he was talking about yesterday’s post. My most heartfelt point in that post was that I need him to be at his strongest, most forceful, most dominate and most willing to give a serious spanking at the time when I am the most angry, most sad, or the most withdrawn. That has to be a daunting prospect for a vanilla husband.

He pointed out that when I am most like that – in general withdrawn for whatever reason, I grab my computer and begin typing for dear life. Sometimes I use it almost like a physical wall and my dear husband – who knows my addition to the computer and talking to all my friends here by blog or email – is too much of a gentleman to order me to put it down. And this is whether he wants to play or whether we need to have a discussion about my attitude and what’s wrong.

I realize I do often give off that vibe – don’t bother me, I’m writing. I may have a blog I what to get ready to post, maybe there is an email I need to return, maybe I am hurrying to get pictures ready for Fantasy Friday (If I had more stories BTW I could get ahead and not feel rushed on Thursday’s night. I’m just saying…). So I am going to try to stop doing that.

I love blogging; it is a joy for me. The true joy come from having you comment back or email about what I’m saying. I just love visiting. And I’m not stopping. But if I am in the middle of trying to get something ready and Nick asks/tells me to put down the computer – guess what?? That post or email can wait a day or so! I’m not telling this to you – I am telling this to me!! So if I don’t post for a few days, or I am late returning an email it might just be because I’m doing something that I’ll be blogging about later! LOL!!

So Nick honey, I am saying this to you –

Yes I love my computer, I love emailing my friends and I love reading the blogs of other and writing my own. But I love you more. If Mollie is out and you want to play tell me to put the computer down and meet in the bedroom within 5 minutes. If I'm really tired or not in the mood we can cuddle for a while.

And much harder for you, I’m sure, would be if I am withdrawn and in a ‘mood’ but if you are willing to help me find my way back, you need to tell me “Put down the computer and go to the bedroom to wait on me”. Being told, not asked, in this situations will go a long way into helping me get my mind in the right place. You know it’s rare that I get in bad moods. It’s not something I think you will have to deal with often but if it happens you will really have to get your dom on. If you tell me to wait for you in the bedroom and when you come in and I’m still angry or already in tears I know your natural instinct will be to calm and comfort. But you are married to a spanko – and just like sometimes a person needs a painful injection or nasty tasting medicine to recover, I need a large dose of spanking to begin to feel better. Just information for you to tuck away.

It's a little strange, when I sat down and started to write I was planning to write about something else. I guess this one felt like writing itself.


  1. Sometimes the best posts are the ones that write themselves.
    Take care,

  2. PK, isn't it a blessing when posts write themselves?
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. PK: I hope Nick got your message. I'm glad you wrote it even though you started to write something else. And we'll certainly understand if you can't write because Nick tells you to put down the computer and head to the bedroom. Hey, first things first.

  4. Katia,
    I have found that that is often true.

    Seem like my mind is teaming these days.

    Florida Dom,
    I felt like he already knew I would put the computer down for him but I guess men like to be told some things just so they will be sure.

  5. Anonymous10:32 PM

    Communication is a wonderful thing. I am sure you and Nick will enter this new chapter of TTWD with great success as you meet in the middle. Good Luck.
    And sometimes writing is at its best when we don't think about it so much and just let it flow.


  6. Thanks C,
    I know how importance of communication. But man it's so hard to keep it up sometimes!

  7. I wished myh post would write themselves. No seriously PK, I'm really happy for both of you.

    Thank you for sharing your last few posts with us.


  8. I love your random thoughts...they speak from the heart... :-)