Wednesday, May 30, 2007

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”

Eva gave me some wonderful mind blogging ideas and they will make for great summer writing. But somehow sitting and staring at 12 year old these ideas just didn’t flow. There is another post however, that has been writing itself in my mind and that did flow freely.

May of last year I was coming off a bad time. My father had died the previous November and I had spent the last 2 years helping with his care. In February I had been hit with a form of arthritis that had me in horrible pain for several months – I was nearly unable to walk alone. Thanks be to God, and the fine doctor I went to, the cure was quick and complete! In May I felt that I had been handed my life back and I wasn’t planning on wasting it!!

I knew that spanking had put a real spark in our marriage with our first attempt a few years before so once again I typed in “spanking” on the computer. Trumpets sounded, the heavens opened and a shaft of light hit the screen as My Bottom Smarts came up!


I had gone looking for a way to spice up our marriage and boy howdy, did I find it!! Nick still thinks he died and went to heaven because of the unbelievable changes in his wife of 23 years. The spanking is so much fun!! The sex is incredible!! And for me, better than both of those things, is the closeness and love we now have that keeps growing.

But you know that is not even what this post is about. I knew when I went looking on the internet that was what I was looking for, something for our marriage – I never believer it would come to me in such abundance but I knew that was what I was looking for. But my other find, the other life changing event that occurred, was never expected even in my wildest dreams. I was reading everything I could find out here Bonnie, Cassie, Grace and Tiggr where my earliest friends. I finally made a tentative comment or two but then I stumbled onto some writing that was me! Everything that I had thought for some years, everything I had felt – here it was laid out for me. So I commented, July 16, 2006 I told Eva:

“Please crawl out of my head; it’s a bit crowd in here with both of us.”

You know Eva is stubborn, she doesn’t always listen. Thank God she didn’t listen then! She didn’t crawl out. In fact she crawled on in and brought in a recliner, kicked back and made herself at home. And I have never been more grateful!

I know that at 49 I did not expect to be making a new best friend. That sounds like an out of date term to some of you but remember I teach 12 year olds. With girls (regardless of age) the term is powerful. Eva is the best girl friend I have ever had or ever expect to have.

After my first comment she emailed me and before the day was over we had shared that we were both teachers – math teachers at that. Again that was July we have pretty much had a running conversation ever since then. I don’t think we have missed a day talking since then unless one of us did not have access to a computer. It didn’t take long to break down the “this is a stranger I met on the internet” barrier. Pretty soon we were talking on the phone and sending each other pictures. I even have Adams email address and phone number although I haven’t used them – yet!

I have shared things with her that I have never shared with any other person. Yes that includes telling her things I have never told Nick although I am doing 100% better about opening up to him in large part because of Eva’s constant hounding me to do so. She is persistent! Sometimes she can be sympathetic – although being a Yankee her sympathetic comment sometimes consists of “Gee, sucks to be you!" Sometimes she yells at me. I mean you ask a simple question like “Why do I have to get my cholesterol down?” and she yells “Because I said so!” Can you tell she is a teacher with 3 kids of her own?

Eva is not perfect, she can be very stubborn and even had the gall the other day to ask me in what ways she was stubborn – I sent here a list! But there is one real problem, and I don’t mean to be critical, but there is no other way to say it – she sounds like a Yankee! Sorry if that sounds harsh but I try to tell the truth out here. And I need to take the time here to say – I do not have an accent, no one around here does. Well with the possible exception of Mollie, she sounds a little southern.

So here we are not quit a year later and finally, finally we get to meet. No one knows how excited I am. We both have apprehensions about the meeting which we have shared with each other. Her doubts are ridiculous and mine – well I just have to live with the worry. She is a good enough person to love me anyway.

There are so many people I have come to love out here. There is no one out here that I do not want to meet and visit with. I don’t know why Eva and I moved into each other’s head and made ourselves at home but it was meant to be. We tease about being twins. We may not actually be twins but we are sisters. Maybe we don’t get as close to people in our real lives because we won’t say to the friends we see daily “I love you, I am a better, happier, wiser, funnier person because you came into my life!” But that is what I am saying to Eva. I mean every word of it! Hurry and get here guys, we can’t wait!


Written by PK at 10:01 PM

16 comments

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Another day

One day of testing down and I survived!! Mollie wanted to go really badly but mean old mom that I am I wouldn’t let her. Nick took her to the doctor instead. She has strep – again!

She is on medication now and is feeling much better. Of course last night, the night before here math EOG she decided that she wanted to review all of her 8th grade math! Some of this stuff I haven’t done since college! Where is Eva when you need her?? Thankfully LJ is nearly as good as his dad in math and he stepped in to help out. She had a little bit of hero worship where he is concerned and she will let him explain things where she just get mad at Nick and me.

I have a post written from my first day of testing but with the math review I could not get everything typed. Check back tomorrow, if I survive another day I will try to post it!

And while you wait on that take a look at Carye brain!! PS's brain is green like mine so he must really be a smart fellow!!




Your Brain is Yellow



Of all the brain types, yours is the most intellectual.

You crave mental stimulation, and your thoughts tend to very complex.

Your thoughts tend to be innovative and cutting edge, though many people don't understand them.



You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about science, architecture, and communication.



Written by PK at 11:51 PM

5 comments

Monday, May 28, 2007

Testing begins!

Here we go! Testing starts today! You know how I feel about that and in addition to the regular stress Mollie is sick. She is supposed to take the test too. But she passed out Monday afternoon and as I write this late Monday night I don’t know if I am going to let her go tomorrow or not, nothing like a bit of stress at home to add to the overall end of year crazies. Thank goodness Nick will be around tomorrow to take her to the doctor if I think she still needs to go. Meanwhile here is what it says about my brain. I am just happy to know I still have one!!

Your Brain is Green

Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance.
You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.
You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

Written by PK at 10:07 PM

9 comments

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Just a little rant

Here is a plea for sympathy. I have to work tomorrow. It’s Memorial Day for pity sake!! It seems like every body in the world is off tomorrow but me! Next week is probably my hardest week at school – End of Grade testing. Of course it is stressful for the kids but it’s stressful for the teachers too. Once the test starts all we can do is watch the children. In the past we could work to get our grades completed, go through student’s files and purge as I will need to do before the end of the year. In the past we could even read provided we also kept a close eye on the children.

No longer! Now we are supposed to be up and walking around for the 2 hours they are testing. Now we are to only watch the children. They even have people walking the halls checking on teachers to make sure we are watching the kids! This is in addition to have another adult, a proctor, in each room to help watch the kids and the teacher.

Can you feel the trust? I am to the point of telling them if they feel that they have to watch me that closely why not just tell me to stay home and relax that day and they can bring in someone trustworthy to give their stupid test!

Ignore me, I am just whining. I get that way this time of years. I will be much better by Thursday afternoon. Testing will be over. And like I told Eva, as annoying as all this is in one way it does bring back fond memories. Last year while watching the children testing I was mind blogging. I had just found Bonnie and I spent the test thinking of how I might actually open up to Nick and tell him all that I wanted. So maybe three mornings to do nothing but think won’t be so bad after all look at what wonderful things have come in to my life since then.

Written by PK at 11:09 PM

11 comments

Friday, May 25, 2007

In Charge

It’s official! I’m in charge! Do you know how much I hate being in charge? I do not have control issues. I can give up control of anything, well except Mollie. We recently redid our living room, took off all the paneling, put up wall board, and painted. It looks fantastic! Now don’t you think most women would have wanted to have a say about this, maybe check out the color before it was on the walls? Not me! Nick did all this as a surprise for me when I went with the sixth graders to Florida. In fact he was up a 4:00AM painting so I could see it as soon as I walked it. I had no idea he was going to do it. I would imagine some wives would have been outraged, I was trilled!! Control I do not need.

So why the hell am I in charge?? It’s all Nick’s fault that I am going to be grade level chairperson next year! If I hadn’t married Nick my name would be at the other end of the alphabet! I really do hate being in charge. My first job is getting the orders ready for next year I must compile all the orders for every one in my grade level. It is a pain in the butt, and where that can be wonderful – this isn’t!!

I had to call my first meeting today to explain how the secretary wants the orders turned in. If they had set out to make it as complicated as possible they couldn’t have done any have done a better job. And it was my job to not only tell them of this screwed up plan but try to explain it to them. As I told Eva today I have always been a wimp, at least in the past. But coming out, being so happy and confident in my real life, having friends like I have here has made a difference. All that plus turning 50 – I love being 50; I don’t feel I have to take crap from anyone! It’s great!!

So as I began a job I didn’t want, I was standing before those teachers, teachers who are the world’s best complainers when they don’t want to do something. I decided to start off right – I told them, “I got stuck with this job. I’ll tell you now that the way they want the order done is stupid. We have to do it this way anyway. I will take any and all complaints as a sign that you are volunteering to take my place and you will be welcomed to it.” What do you know – not one complaint!! I still hate being in charge!!

But the good news, the best news, when I come home, when we close the bedroom door, I don’t have to be in charge any more!


Written by PK at 11:03 PM

12 comments

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Triple meme



This picture has nothing to do with my post,
but when I found it I knew I really wanted to post it!!

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. LJ plans to move to NYC
2. Mollie starting to high school
3. Mollie beginning driver’s training this summer

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. LJ
2. Eva
3. Cassie

Three Things I Love:
1. Nick
2. My blogging buddies
3. Summer vacation

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:
1. Parents who stick up for their kids when the kid has done something really wrong
2. Government bureaucracy interfering with my teaching
3. War

Three Things I Don’t Understand
1. War
2. Everything CeeCi knows about computers
3. Why Nick doesn’t want to spank as much as I want him to

Three Things On My Desk:
(at school, don’t have one at home)
1. Pictures of my kids
2. A fan
3. Stacks of papers to be filed, graded, tossed or returned

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Having my usual running conversation with Eva
2. Watching Dancing with the Stars
3. Sitting sensitive (bet you want details!)

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Have many long visits with Eva
2. Remain pain free
3. Retire

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Draw straight lines (some will understand this)
2. Spay a cat
3. Teach 6th graders to add, subtract, multiply and divide fractions.

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Cook
2. Spell
3. Keep up with Eva in math


Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Your gut feelings
2. Paul’s advice
3. God’s voice in your head

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. People who are always negative
2. Gangster Rap
3. People trying to talk you into something against your better judgment

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. Everything CeeCi knows about the computer
2. How to dive and swim with a pretty stroke
3. How to squirt

Three Favorite Foods:
1. Good Southerner fried chicken
2. Home made mashed potatoes
3. Rich, moist chocolate cake


Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Lassie
2. Edge of Night
3. Secret Storm


Three Things I Regret:
1. A little bitty mistake I made concerning LJ when he was 4 that still make me cry to think of it
2. Not starting off our marriage with better communication
3. Not being able to talk Eva into moving to the south

Three People I Tag
Not that I expect to get what I want but I would love to hear the answers of Nick, Adam and Bossman. If only these guys could find somewhere to post their answers!

Written by PK at 10:40 PM

13 comments

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Luckiest


Remember what LJ gave me for mother’s day? It was a CD with songs that were special to him for one reason or another. They really are good and I am enjoying the CD but one song in particular stays in my head and I really want to share it with you. There are several reasons that it touches me. One is simply that it is beautiful if you can find a way to hear this on line you will see how the classic piano really adds to the song.

A second reason I love it is what LJ wrote me about it:

This is the song Collin gave me this Valentine’s Day, and I have ever heard a more beautiful love song. It’s not the traditional love song and that is exactly what I love about it.

I love knowing that my son is love by someone sensitive enough to give him this song and really mean it.

But the third reason I love this song so much is that I thought of many of my friends here when I first heard it. I guess it could really be any of us because I think we all think of ourselves as the ‘Luckiest’. But for some reason CeeCi and Mojo, Dave and Cindy, and Cassie and Tom came to mind.

The Luckiest

i don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, i am told that a lot
Now i know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was i before the day
That i first saw your lovely face?
Now i see it everyday
And i know


That i am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if i’d been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe i’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would i know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that i recognize
And i know


That i am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than i have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I’m sorry, i know that’s a strange way to tell you that i know we belong
That i know


That i am
I am
I am
The luckiest

Artist: Ben Folds
Title: The Luckiest



Ben Folds :: The Luckiest :: Rockin' the Suburbs



Written by PK at 7:39 PM

12 comments

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Anybody Home?

*** Clink ***

** Clink **

*Clink*

PK?

You home??

Now WHERE could she be?

I come all this way to see her and she’s nowhere to be found.

Have you seen her?

**Clink**

Yoooohoooooooo!!!

Well how do you like this? PK invites me over and is no where to be found when I get here. Wonder if she’ll be back soon.

Hey!! Check this out.

I’ll be darned. She left the door unlocked. Maybe I’ll just go inside and wait for her. She’ll probably be back soon.

Oh, cool. There’s her laptop. Should I? Could I?

Nah, that wouldn’t be right. I’ll just check my email real quick.

Well…..maybe later.

Wow. Look at this place. She sure had me fooled. She talks like this place is always a wreck but it looks great to me.

Okay, okay. I can’t resist. I just have to check out the bedroom. And it’s just as I thought …… the toy box is right here at the foot of the bed. I knew it would be HUGE. I knew it. I mean think about it. It would have to be good sized to hold all the toys she has bought, ; Nick has made, AND those thirty butt plugs.

Wait there’s only twenty eight here. What do you suppose she’s done with the other two?

Oh wow…. Her crop is amazing!!! Gosh, I want one like it. A girl can never have too many crops you know.

What’s that? Where’s the hair brush? Let’s see, I think she said it’s in the bottom drawer of Nick’s nightstand. Ahhh….there it is and boy oh boy is it beautiful.

Okay okay… I’m going to just sit and wait for PK.

Where could she be anyhow?

Boy oh boy she and nick have quite an extensive video collection. What is this one?

"Strip poker with Grace and Bossman."

What the heck? When did she meet Grace? And why in the world were they playing strip poker together? I don't believe it. I have to see this for myself.









Ummmmm.....







Welllllll.......alrighty then.

I think I've seen quite enough.




***Clink***

PK?

Gosh I wish she’d get here. I think I’m stuck here inside her blog.

Maybe I should just play with the chinchilla. It’s awfully cute.

Could someone let me out please??

Help?

PK?

Nick?

Mollie?

LJ?

Someone?

Anyone?

Let me out. Please?


Written by Eva at 10:00 PM

11 comments

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Details, details

I wanted to give a few details of our trying to sneak in a minute for ourselves between the children hanging around. Grace if you stop by do not read this until you post your owned details. I’ll wait while you go…


Ok now for the rest of you, Mollie baby sits every day but Wednesdays, LJ decided to visit on Tuesday and Thursday (can you say surrounded by children) and Nick is leaving Friday at lunch. Okay we could see time running out! We have a small house and if anyone is here and awake any spanking is pretty much out of the question – of so we thought!



Around 8:30 Mollie pops out of her room to ask if some of her friends could come swim. I told her fine if it didn’t involve me having to drive anywhere. Once they came I’m thinking ‘everyone is occupied and our of the house for a good half hour’ but with Mollie you never know when she is going to run back in for food, drink, towel, tape something on TV, get her phone, grab the cat, … you just never know. I knew we wouldn’t feel comfortable making love but surely we could at least quickly try out the new hair brush. Surely we could hear her bounding up the stairs.

In this rushed atmosphere we hurried to the bedroom and evidently in such a rush Nick didn’t want to waste much time on a warm up. But it was me, idiot that I am that asked him to try out the hair brush. He said it might be too much for just quick play, but oh no! I insisted! WTF!! Son of a bitch! That frigging thing is lethal! They should come with a warning



THIS IS NOT A TOY!

KEEP AWAY FROM ASS!!



We may have found something I really don’t like very much. If indeed he did want to get my attention be it diet or laundry that would do it. And trust me Nick; small doses would work quite well! Nick said it had a very nice feel from his end, good handle! He said it had great swinging potential and that so far he had just used a little wrist action. Good grief! Cassie, if your ivory brush is as bad or worse that this you truly have my respect and admiration! I would not want to imagine Nick actually coming after me with that if he was really mad! That being said, in small doses it could actual inspire some change!

Other activities had to wait until after Mollie went to bed and let me tell you it was a most excellent evening!! I was reading Em’s blog just before I went to bed and clicked on her side bar of ‘Erotic bed time stories’ where she is linked to some of CeeCi’s hottest stories! Reading them right before crawling in with Nick after an earlier spanking was intense. We did all kinds of wild and wonderful things which I think will only serve to make me miss him more this weekend!

I hope you have enjoyed the details I shared. Okay Grace, you can come back now.

Written by PK at 7:38 PM

15 comments

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Upcoming weekend

Is anyone going to be around this weekend? Is there anyone that will be out there to talk to me? I am being abandoned by my husband. And since he is going to be gone I am also farming the kids out. If I can’t be with the one I want then I am just going to be by myself. Nick is going golfing with some friends. They do this twice a year. Now I love being with Nick these days but twice a year it is kinda nice to have the place all to myself.



I suspect I will be on line quite a bit so please pop in to say hi! There are a million things I need to be doing this weekend both around the house and for school but I will probably spend most of my time blogging.

Now for the big question – will we be able to be alone to play before he goes?? LJ has been home a week but tonight was only his second night sleeping at home, so of course Mollie is spending the night with a friend. It seems that the kids are still doing a tag team number to keep us from being alone!!


I have to admit that I am as crazy as Grace. I bought a new hair brush. It’s pretty. I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell Nick about it right away. I put it in his bottom night side table drawer so it would be handy if I chose to tell. I finally decided tell him Mother’s Day but he had already come across it. So now it’s there we both know about it. We’re here, lots of people are here. Will we get time before the weekend?? Could be… it could be lots of fun… and if we do, if we do… I am not going to tell Grace!

Written by PK at 11:27 PM

11 comments

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day


I had a wonderful mother’s day! For one thing I got to spend all day with both of my children! That doesn’t happen too very often. I got lots of nice Mother’s Day gifts flowers for the outside (Nick even did the planting for me). I got a card from Mollie. She has also made me three flower vases in her pottery class, they are painted and fired and I love them! She also gave me an even more special gift – an IOU! This is for anything I want her to do, no arguing, no putting off, she will just do it. She is good about following through on gifts like this and they are very special to me.

LJ’s gift was also very special. If you have a computer savvy teenager this is a gift you should ask for! He made me a mixed CD with 20 songs. He chose these songs because they are all songs that mean a great deal to him. He also gave me a booklet he made explaining each song and why the song was so important to him including pictures and event that tie the song to different periods of his life. I am looking forward to listening to all of these!

I have more time in school that Eva, 20 days for the students and 24 more for me. I can to it! The prize is great – summer!!! I am getting my dancing shoes on in preparation! I love my blogging and I will be here as often as possible but and the end of year crunch increases in intensity I may be spotty! I’m here! And soon I will be on way too much and I just can’t wait!!!

Written by PK at 11:09 PM

10 comments

Friday, May 11, 2007

Feeling better

I had forgotten how much I worried about LJ when he is home. The good new, Theresa, is that I hardly ever worried about him when he was away at school. Crazy isn’t it! When he is here I am always listening for him to come home, worrying if he is late, wishing he would call. Somehow when he is totally away from home I feel that God is always watching over him and protecting him. When he is here I feel God needs my help in accomplishing this task!

There is also the selfish side of this. We know Mollie’s schedule and when she is likely to be gone for a few hours. But LJ? He is rarely home but you never know when he might pop in. So I do share Eva’s dilemma about adult children at home. He does have enough sense not to walk into our bedroom when the door is shut but these days who’s to say we are going to be in the bedroom with the door closed? We may be feeling adventurous! Actually I feel we should make it a goal to make love or at the very least spank in every room of the house. I mean if we did it in my mother’s living room – truly no where should be off limits! And of course we have the new pool to christen this summer - after it gets warmer.




As Eva said in her post, summer cannot get here fast enough to suit me. Last summer was the most wonderful summer, the most wonderful time of my life. It was my first summer of freedom since 1975. How old do you think that makes me feel! I worked or went to college every summer until 1988 when LJ was born. Now the next dozen or so summers were lots of fun I got to spend them at home with my kids, it was wonderful but very kid oriented (as it should have been then). Then my parents began to need more help and I was glad to be there for them.

But suddenly last summer, after both my parents had passed away I realized that my kids mostly had there own agenda and I wasn’t particularly needed. I guess some mothers might have been hurt – I was thrilled. They were having fun and I had just discovered blogs. Maybe it was mom’s turn to have a little fun and freedom! Mom and dad were due a turn to get to know each other and boy did we take advantage of it! But in a strange way it contributed to my rough school year, I didn’t realize it at the time but I think I really resented having to give up that magical summer and return to school and maybe I stayed a little mad all year. I think I was always worried that everything was going to go away. It has taken a while to accept and believe that what Nick and I have now is real. But I do believe it, and I now know as long we want it we can keep it!

Written by PK at 10:47 PM

10 comments

Thursday, May 10, 2007

PK tonight


Writers block here! That could be the whole post but I find myself continuing. Menopause has been rearing its ugly head tonight. It’s either that or Nick has the heat on instead of the AC and it must be turned to about 100 degrees!

I am very irritable and I am fighting the urge to snap at anyone that comes near me. I have to go for blood work in the morning. I think they are just checking my sugar but they might be checking cholesterol and stuff too. I hate having to take tests that I can’t study for. Of course having to weigh in in the morning does not have me in any better mood. I think I better go to bed before anything else makes me mad! At least the weekend is coming – thank goodness!

Written by PK at 10:35 PM

6 comments

Monday, May 07, 2007

My Son

No spanking or sex today folks. But if you have been around long and consider yourself a friend, please stick around I want to share some things that are very important to me.


Have I mentioned that I have two children? Oh, I have? These two children are my heart and soul. For me parenthood was the only dream I ever had that exceeded my expectations. For any gripes and complains I will ever have about them they are truly prefect in my eyes.

I want to talk about LJ today. I wish I could tell you his name because I really love it. When this child was born, before even while I was pregnant, he captured my heart in such a way that I knew I would never have full ownership of it again. His first smile, his first step, his first words turned me in to putty and I am afraid I’ll never get over it. I thank God that he is truly a good person that he simple always chose to do the right thing because he could have probably gotten away with anything!

He has been gone this year – his freshman year at college has passed and I survived. Until the changes in me this year my surviving his first year away was truly in doubt in my mind. We went to move most of his things back last Friday. I hadn’t seen him since Easter and it is really only when I get back with him that I realize how very much I have missed him. Let me tell you this boy is well on his way to his degree in BS. Now I don’t mean Bachelors of Science I mean true BS!! He is so funny, he is so interesting to talk to, and he is just so much fun to be around!!

Why am I writing today? I want to tell you that my son is in love. What mother really wants to hear that? That some other person, some stranger has your son’s heart. Someone else is as important, more important, than you in his life. Well yes, eventually that is what you want to hear. That is what is supposed to happen. I am grateful that he has chosen a person with integrity, maturity, honesty, talent and a sense of humor – all of the traits one should look for in a person to love.

But there is one other thing I want all my friends to know. LJ is not in love with a lovely young girl. He is in love with a fine young man. LJ shared the fact that he was gay with me a few days after his 14th birthday. I have had a lot of time to become used to the idea. Actually it took very little time. I have always been one to accept what is, is. We talked enough for me to believe that he knew what he was talking about. I was sad at first. There was a bit of mourning for what I had lost, a future daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law for Mollie, and probably grandchildren from my son. But my sadness did not last long.

It didn’t take long to realize that nothing had changed. My son was who he was and always had been. All that had changed was that he trusted me with an important aspect of his life that many parents are not trusted with. He shared with me that he had know he was ‘different’ since he was four that at nine he knew what it was called and that he had spent most of his time between nine and fourteen praying that it wasn’t true. Shortly before coming out to me he had been in church praying ‘to change’ when he felt he received a message, a peace in which he felt totally accepted by God as the person God had created. He has been comfortable with himself ever since.

How does Nick feel about all this? He and I never talked about it until this past fall. As you might imagine this is not the path he would have chosen for his son. But he also accepts the fact that we do not chose our children’s paths. Nick and LJ are comfortable with each other and Collin, LJ partner is welcomed in our home any time. LJ is living in the open all of his friends know from high school, Governs School and college know and totally accept him. He is well like and very popular with men and women alike. He is also out to my family but not Nick’s completely. For one thing he has no desire to burden his grandparents with the news. They would not understand and there is no reason to upset them. Do the other on that side of the family know? Probably, but it is not acknowledged and that’s okay too.

My son is happy. He is healthy. He is pursuing the career of his dreams. And he is in a relationship that has lasted three years. LJ and Collin have hopes and dreams for the future; they may come true they may not. I guess that’s true for any of us. I wanted to share all of this because my son is so important to me. Maybe other parents are struggling with this issue. I would talk with them if they wanted to. I love my son, he is perfect just the way he is. I would not change one thing about him.



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Written by PK at 11:43 PM

24 comments

Meme from Carye


Most of us know Carye from her comments and the wonderful interview over at Tiggr’s place. This is the meme going around and Carye’s answers…

Question number 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life.
1) Owned a cat or several cats (indoor) with a severe allergy to cats!
2) Did dueling tequila shots with a navy friend during college (he outweighed me by at least 100 lbs!)
3) Didn't exercise for a number of years in a row.

Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?
first - kids & husband, second - mom, third -- some close friends!

Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?
My Grandpa, My grandmother, Clyde my son, my dad, my mosses,lichens, and liverwarts instructor.

Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
(1) That my children will grow up happy, healthy, independent, strong, and live happily married to one person forever.
(2) That my husband could find a job he loved in an area he loved that would work well for the family and that we could afford.
(3) That we would have the money for me not to work, to own some land for my husband to "play" with, and enough to send 4 kids through as many years of college as they chose.

Question number 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
I'm with Eva... what city? It is a small wonderful town. I wouldn't change a thing, and there isn't anything I'd ask them to avoid.
Question number 6: Name one event that has changed your life.
Having my first son be born with big problems, have a heart transplant at 4 weeks, and die at 12 weeks..

Question number 7: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.
I think all of them have already been tagged!

Carye

Written by PK at 9:06 AM

9 comments

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Happy Birthday Grace!

It’s Grace’s birthday!!!!

One of my best blogger buddies is getting older!! I hope your birthday is wonderful. You are very special to me and I wanted you to know it!

G

Gorgeous, gracious, grinning

R

Ritzy, rocking, radical, resourceful

A

Accepting, accountable (to Bossman), adorable

C

Crafty, creative, controlling (her word not mine)

E

Exciting, encouraging, elegant

So a happy 39 birthday to Grace!

I wasn’t going to put up a picture until I found this one of Bossman and then I couldn’t resist!





Wait… what! She is only 39!! Are you KIDDING ME?? I thought this blogging business was only for adult. How did this kid get on here?? I hope Bossman spanks her butt for being so young. I take back all the nice things I said about her; maybe I’ll put it back up next year when she becomes an actual adult. Grumble…. little kid…… grumble, grumble… only 39… grumble… how dare she…. grumble, grumble…. (walking off to sulk and feel old.)


Written by PK at 11:22 AM

7 comments

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Learning

I wanted to give you a few details about my Thursday afternoon. It’s been a pretty good week. My cold kept me down at first but was back at the gym by Thursday. I came home tired but feeling pretty good. I was about to settle down with the computer when Nick mentioned that I hadn’t put away my laundry the night before even though he had remember me. I had still forgotten about it the night before but wanting to be the obedient wife I put down the computer to take care of it. Evidently that wasn’t good enough; he said I should have done it the night before without needing a reminder.

Once again I found myself standing by the laundry basket with Nick pulling my pants down. He started spanking with his hand and it wasn’t just love taps! He then took off my panties and told me to stretch out on the bed. He pulled out the toy box and retrieved the tawse. Now that thing can create a sting with very little effort and Nick was putting some effort into it. Then he asked

“So you say that there are really some implements that you don’t like?”

I answered, “Well yes, but I am not sure I am ready to share that information yet!”

He said “That’s what I thought, you have ever posted it.” He was still going to town with the tawse during this conversation. He went on “Maybe I should just keep this up until you tell me!”

Okay it seemed time to spill my secrets! I told him I didn’t like the hairbrush (Cassie has scared me!) and I don’t think I would like the handle part of the crop. Nick understood my choices. “He said I guess a good wooden hairbrush doesn’t have much give and the crop handle can leave a few good stripes when I need it to.” I still wasn’t sure it was the time I wanted to share this information but he was being most persuasive!

We did end up with some fine love making to finish off the afternoon. I got all my laundry put away afterwards and I put away the next batch too. I’m learning, honest I am, and the lessons are so much fun!!

Written by PK at 2:18 PM

12 comments

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Short and Sweet

Taking a lesson from Eva.

I’ve got lots to say.

I had a wonderful afternoon!

I got a spanking and other fun stuff.

I have no time to write.

Going for my boy at college when school is out tomorrow.

Mollie has a rotten cold, maybe strep, have to get her to the doctor tomorrow too.

School is down to the final sprint and it’s going to be a bitch.

I feel guilty when I don’t leave comments everywhere I read.

I do read everyone on my blogroll every day.

My writing time today went into my assignment for Nick.

I knew you would all understand that that is the most important thing right now.

Have to weigh tomorrow morning. My cold kept me from the gym early this week so I am a bit worried.

I should be in bed, so I’m outta here!

Written by PK at 10:53 PM

8 comments

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Celebration

One of my best blogger buddies is getting older!!


Great job!


You will soon catch up with me!


I am thrilled to know that you have a well paddled bottom for your special day!


(Didn't know I had a picture of Will and your cake did you?)




Happy Birthday
Theresa!!




Written by PK at 6:52 PM

5 comments

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Eva's Meme

Question number 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life.

If I had gone into teaching at 22 when many people do I would be able to retire in 2 years. But instead I have 9 to go!

I should have started doing something about my weigh when I was 10 pounds over weight, or 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or…

I should have come out to Nick 25 year ago. If it would have made the improvement it has now we would have been closer all these years. But really everything is in timing. If I had come out then would we have this wonderful special newness to our marriage that I love now?

Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?

I would have to say Mollie, a teenager that can’t drive. She has babysitting jobs to get to, shopping she ‘has’ to do, friends to visit. When Nick and I can be alone is dictated by her schedule.

Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?

I want separate dinners. I want to dine with Jesus and be just the two of us so that we could just talk and I could ask all my questions.

I want to sit and eat with my parents both of them just one more time. We were very close and I miss them so much. I want to tell them about my kids.

My mother’s father who I never met and Edgar Cayce (if you don’t know who that is google him).


Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

I want to take a year off teaching and do anything I want to do. Not sure what all that is but I want some time!

I want LJ to be able to make a career in acting. He doesn’t have to be super rich just a steady working actor with a good body of work.

I want Mollie to love teaching and to have a house full of healthy happy kids!

Question number 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

I am not sure visitors would care but I wish our town had a nice movie theater and a good book store. We have neither.

If I can get Eva and Adam down here I probably will not take them to Tattoo Hugh or the Red Pig.

Question number 6: Name one event that has changed your life.

Blogging, it has to be blogging. Everything has changed but that was the catalysts. My close relationship with Nick, my new look (weight loss and different hair), new friends, new habits, new life!!!!

Question number 7: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.

Who to tag? How about Cassie, Tiggr and Maggie here on line and if they are willing Carye and Debbie. If you two will do it email it to me and I will put it up for you.

Written by PK at 10:16 PM

11 comments


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