I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, February 18, 2019

Searching for Old Friends

Bonnie had an interesting post here looking for some of our old friends who no longer blog. Just reading that made me long for old friends. I was so happy to see Abby pop up over there and I hope to see her in the land once again. 

This post is to look for these old friends. I’ve been lucky enough to keep up with a few. I’m sure some just didn’t have the time, interest or energy to continue blogging. That’s fine, I’m not trying to get them to blog again (though that would be wonderful) I just want to know if they’re okay. Many of the ones I list here are very, very old blog – some have been gone a decade, but if one of them reads and pops in to say hello it will be worth it to me.

I hesitate to put up a list, I know I’ll be leaving so many off – but this is MY list, not a list of all bloggers we miss. But these people I list are those I felt close to and that I miss personally. For the few I am lucky enough to keep up with outside of blogging I’ll put Alive & Well. But for most I’m hoping they or someone who still knows them will do the same.



Eva at Nothing Random, Alive & Well

CeeCi, Alive & Well

Mthc, Alive & Well  Mthc never actually blogged, but was a great commenter. We still talk nearly daily.

Debbie, Alive & Well

Theresa
*I’d really like to know how Theresa is! We were close for several years. She had a son near LJ’s age and I would so love to catch up.

MaggieDear

Sar – fantastic blog – Pieces, it’s still on my blog roll if you just want a wonderful read.

Caryagal

CindysDave

Padme Amidale

SuZQ

Dove – I know she was from Australia

Purple Angel

Killisto (& Spanky)

Snow White

Todd & Suzy

Angel Brat

Andrades – I would love to hear from her 
and find out why she left. It was just so abrupt.

YaYa

Lessa

Emerald Eyes

Mistress Sky 


There are three others I’d like to mention

Mthc’s husband, David, pass away several years ago. He used to leave wonderful comments, a truly great guy.

Paul – such a dear friend. Though he never blogged he was a staple here for so many years. I believe he comment on every single post I put up on my various blogs until he became too ill to do so. He’s passed on too, but I still miss him.

And then there was Bas – Bas was a love! His kindness and wisdom was a true breath of fresh air out here. When he died it was a blow to us all. I’m still in touch with his wife from time to time and she is well. 

If you have see yourself on this list, or if you are in contact with anyone on this list please leave a comment or email me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Thanks!


Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Shell's Have You Ever...

If you’ve read here for more than a day, you probably know I love a good meme or anything like that. I loved Shell’s Have you Ever… post, so I’m giving it a try.

Have You Ever....

Had one of your kids unknowingly pick up or use one of your implements? 

Yes, LJ kept borrowing Nick old belt. I hadn’t even come out to Nick at the time, but in my mind I had lovely plans for that belt. But one thing long ago did catch me off guard. Check this out if you have time - Spicing things up

Hid an implement?

Oh heck, yes! I can’t quite bring myself to throw anything away, but I’ve hidden several. And let me tell you, it’s ain’t pretty when he find them and realized I was behind the ‘disappearance.’

Had an uninvited audience for a spanking?

Do the cat’s count?

Had an implement break while being in use?

Several times. But nothing important.

Stood up or walked out from a spanking?

I don’t think so. But a few time I’ve been mad and made myself totally unresponsive and when he stopped I just walked away.

Purchased an implement yourself....for yourself?

Tons and tons! Nick doesn’t really see spanking implements unless it’s labeled as such. I see them everywhere. And I especially did when we first began. I love perverables that you can get anywhere. I’ve bought many on line too, as well as a few adult stores I’ve visited. I bought a paddle from Blondie – and it’s beautiful, a true treat for the eye, if not the ass.




Have you ever had a session where all the implements were used?

No, but the last time we brought EVERYTHING out, we had over forty implements. Not counting all our kitchen toys and regular belts and hairbrushes. I’ve also been gifted a beautiful flogger since then.


A sample


Had to explain "weird noises" coming from your bedroom?

No. I’m very aware of things like that. Our kids were teenagers when we began. But in the beginning we did fix up a special room in the basement far from the kids.

Been spanked outside of the comfort of your four walls?

Yes, I have!

Spanked your significant other?

I have, but like Shell, I’m not fond of it. I am not a spanker and don’t want to be one. But he does like to know what our toys feel like. He say it give him a better idea of how it can and should be used.

Been spanked in a hotel room/resort?

Many times. I kind of like the idea of possibly being over heard by total strangers that you will never see again.

Been spanked with your own belt?

I don’t wear belts. Should I get some?

Monday, February 11, 2019

Good News, Bad News

*A quick note first. I'm beginning a story over at Cassie's Space tomorrow. I'd really appreciate you coming by. This story has never appeared in any of the books and should be brand new to 99% of you. Should you be willing to leave a comment, remember - you're talking to Cassie and she'll be the one to answer you.





Good News, Bad News

Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. I’m not taking the best care of myself. I’ve not been awful. I go to the gym – and actually work out, at least three days a week. My weight has stayed nearly the same for several months, a little loss, but not much. I take my meds religiously, never miss a day. But I’m afraid I’ve been slipping more and more on what I eat. And let’s just say it’s not been health food. 

I’m afraid if you made a list of the most unhealthy foods out there you would me making a list of my favorites. Cakes, cookies, pies and pastries. I also love any starch pretending to be a vegetable – potatoes, rice, lima beans, corn. I love potato chips and popcorn. I love most meats too. There are a few veggies I’ll tolerate – spinach, onions, peas, green beans, yellow squash, zucchini. I’ll eat these, but I sure don’t ever crave them.



Basically my eating habits resemble that of a ten year old allowed to eat exactly what they want and nothing else. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes I was scared to death and I really tried to straighten up. I did stop soft drinks and that was hard! I watched my carbs and even tried to find some healthy recipe. But gradually with NO symptoms I let most of the bad stuff creep back into what I was eating.

I have a million excuses – there are just so many ‘good’ foods that I seriously don’t like. And preparation is another problem. I hate cooking! I don’t like to take the time to cook and clean up after meal I really like. You can see my reluctance to take the time to make stuff I really don’t want to eat in the first place.

Grrrr… my A1C had gone up so much that the doctor wants me to take my meds twice a day. I don’t want to. So I told her I’m going to work on bringing it down the right way – diet and exercise first. Then we can recheck it in May.

Okay, enough bad news. Now for the good news. I’ve finally found something Nick does seem to care about. I told him all about this in the letter I’m to send him each week.  He wasn’t happy that I’d let things get this bad. It didn’t happen overnight so he knew I’d ‘been bad’ for quite a while. He told me we’d talk about it in the bedroom at 2:30.

I went about my day. I took care of several errands, but several took longer than expected. I got home around 2:40 and told Nick, “I’m so sorry we missed our appointed time. Maybe we can try again next week.” I felt it was worth a try.

It didn't work. He told me he completely understood me being late, but he felt we’d still be able to squeeze our ‘talk’ in. We did. The general talk going on was about my letting my health slip and not paying closer attention to my blood sugar. I pretty much knew what he was saying but my attention wasn't centered on my listening skills, but somewhere else.

A note here to Sunny –  that damn, fricking, devil paddle you
gave me should burn in hell! I could swear I’d hidden… I mean lost that thing. It’s the most evil implement we own and that’s taking in my hatred of the cane – a gift from another friend! Gee, thanks, Ronnie.

Gratefully he only used it for the first three swats and let me keep my clothes on. But Nick doesn’t like clothes in the way when he spanks. The longer we do this I become more in favor of spanking with my jeans on.

So the spanking continued. And I promised I’d do better, I had already decided that. And I mean it. But Nick had one more way to assure that my thought would stay focused for a little longer. He decided I should wear a plug for a time to assure I knew he was serious. 

Plugs are in interesting. I don’t hate them, but wearing one while dressed and going about your usual business is … different. Your mind never strays far from the intrusion nor the one who placed it there. It’s a form of discipline that intimate and is bound up with trust in the one insisting on it, much like spanking. Plugs are silent, somewhat uncomfortable but not painful, and wearing one shows submission. 

There is my news, both bad and good. I’ll work on the health issues and it seems like Nick will be standing by, paddle in hand, to see that I do. Works for me.

Thursday, February 07, 2019

Why I'm here

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to find my
blogging mojo these days. Things are well here. A little spanky fun now and then, but not too much in my head these days that sparks a post. I’m even slipping on my commenting. I read everyone but more and more I feel I have little to add.

However, Shell’s post the other day did start me thinking. If you haven’t read it, go there now and check it out. 

It got me thinking about my beginning as a blogger. Blogland was a different world then. Not better, not worse – but definitely different. There were many, many more people blogging. There was much teasing and laughing back and forth. Most of us were begging our husbands to participate in this lifestyle. And thought we talked about submission, it never much seemed to materialize. Mostly because our husbands were somewhat confused by it and didn’t really seem to want it.

I began blogging to explore. This was before 50 Shades and I’d suddenly found my own kind when I didn’t really think any others existed. I was hopping up and down excited. I knew this was a huge part of who I was, I mean deep in my soul I knew this. Yet for nearly fifty years I had not one person with whom I could discuss it. And here was a playground full of women wanting to talk about it, share thought, ideas, implement choices and desires, you name it! And while there was a fear of being outted to those in my real life at the time, the joy of finding these friends far outweighed it.

Shell asked:

  • How do I keep from taking every ttwd moment from this day forward and running it through a blogging analyser?  
  • How do I hold on to authenticity in real life, when in the back of my head I know this will end up on a blog post at some point?
  • How do I separate blogger me from ttwd-wife me?  Or maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe they too need to learn to move together in harmony.....but how?

Very thought provoking questions. But for me blogging wasn’t far from what we women do all the time. If I’d found a great restaurant, a new kitchen gadget, bought new furniture I would have gone to work the next day and discussed these things with my friends. I would have done the same with more serious things like a problem with the kids or concern for an elderly parent. For most things in life we have someone we talk to – sometimes for their advice but mostly just to share and unburden ourselves with those who we feel will understand.


For me blogging is the same thing, except our core topic is much more interesting! Women talk, we share – just think about standing in line at the restroom. We can return knowing intimate details of the women standing around us (Nick says this rarely happens in a men’s room.)  

So if something wonderful happened in real life – a new car, a glorious vacation, the wedding of our children we share with our friends at work (verbal blogging). But in addition to that, actual blogging gave me a place to come when’d we’d tried something new and had mind blowing sex! I could share when I’d had a spanking that was well deserved where I felt forgiveness and reconnection. And I could talk about the silly fun spankings that pop up at times. Blogging gave me a special and safe place to discuss all these things.  And by taking the time to write them out it’s helped me have a much better understanding of both myself and if Nick.

Shell said :  Truth is. I don’t want to quit. I want to get this right. And to that I just want to say – you’ve already got it right. You’re here sharing with us, letting us share with you and we’re talking to one another. We do it all here – share, support, occasionally scolded and mostly encourage one another. 

That’s why I’m here and I’ll probably be here as long as this continues.