I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, February 25, 2017

Bad news, good news

I woke up Friday morning with some kind of stomach bug. Not fun.  I didn’t feel really awful (until later in the day). But I sure didn’t feel good. Nick was worried because I didn’t pick up my computer all day – he felt that symptom put me pretty much at death’s door.

However, for me I found an upside to the stomach bug – retirement! Had this happen before Christmas I would have had to go and try to tough it out, or founds a sub, and then gotten lessons plans for my six classes. But this time as I realized I felt bad I just went back to bed. Not one worry about school – not one worry about anything. I just rested, slept and I’m definitely planning to feel better by tomorrow. Nick was off too and he checked on me every now and them with a little something to drink and that’s all I needed.

So I am not feeling good, but I have the time to rest and get well and that’s where I’m heading now.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

No contest

I shared here that Sunny and Ella and I all went to see 50 Shades Darker while we were together. We enjoyed the movie despite the fact that there wasn’t enough spanking. However, I don’t expect it to get a Oscar nomination for next year. After the movie, we came back to the room and hung around a while until it was time to head out for the evening. All very enjoyable.

But this past weekend Nick went to see the movie with me – the previews were the same, the popcorn was the same and the movie was the same. Even the discussion of the merits of the movie were very similar. But when we got home…

(One of my favorite scenes)

I got something to drink and settled into my recliner, Nick – who always goes to bed early – headed to the bedroom. Moments later he was back holding out our cuffs. From that point on the evening was far different from my evening with the girls. I enjoyed them both but Nick wins the contest hands down!

Friday, February 17, 2017

Bloggers trippin'

Where to begin? I was so happy to see the others waiting for me at the airport. Sunny was in about the same spot where I saw her for the very first time nearly four years ago. There were hugs all around then off to the hotel.

I wish I could give you hair raising stories like the adventures of Cassie, Sue and Annie – but this was real life instead and we just had fun, with no arrests, no visits to the drunk tank, no prostitution license. But still fun!

The movies first – 50 Shades Darker, I liked it. Jamie Dornan seems to have grown into his role as Christian Grey and did a much better job this time. Now as far as spanking goes, there was very little in this movie. Basically, it was a very well done, 90% vanilla, dirty movie with a story. I’d recommend it and I thank God Mollie did not go into acting. I hope Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson simply support their daughter in her career choice and DO NOT see this movie, not one for the parents of the leading lady.

I agree with Sunny that LaLa Land was not that good. I realize all the awards and nominations it’s racking up, I just didn’t like it myself. When we saw it, there were only about ten people in the theater and three got up and left before it was over. Truly the hysterics in the elevator were the highlight of the movie evening for me! (If you’ve missed this part read here.) I also did something on this trip I hadn't done since I was about thirteen - I lied about my age to get into a movie for a cheaper price. You had to be sixty-two to get in for the senior price. I'm only sixty, but the guy didn't questions me for a minute, sigh...

I fulfilled a lifetime dream on this trip – I got to see Cher in concert! And I loved every minute of it! How can she possible be seventy years old? She didn’t dance and kick up her heels as much as when she was younger, but boy she can still sing! Sunny and Ella are not the Cher fans I am but Sunny did go along with me and that made it so much more fun than if I’d gone alone. It was a very special night for me.

The next day Ella and I struck out on our own while Sunny met up with a friend living close by. We did a little shopping and then to a wonderful gospel show. It was a brunch and the food was out of this world! The singing was super too, but nothing topped seeing Ella on her feet swaying and dancing with the best of them. A truly great day.

The other two things that occupied much of our time was eating and gambling. We had some fine meals and I can tell you right now if I don’t get the weight back to where it’s supposed to be quickly my ass is going to pay big time for the joy of eating those great meals. I did an hour of cardio yesterday and I plan to today so I hope to make my goal by the twenty-eighth.

As for the gambling – I won! I only risked about thirty dollars and won around one hundred and fifty! There was this one machine that seemed to like me. And by winning, I mean I was able to stop and bring it home with me, that's true winning.

The last day we just chilled, it was even sunny enough to be around the pool for a little while. I really enjoyed being with these two wonderful friends. More trips in the future? Who knows, I hope so. This one was definitely in the winner’s column.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

A night to remember

We made it back - and we had a ball! I have many things I want to tell you about our trip as soon as I have the chance to gather my thoughts. But for this morning I'd like to direct you to Sunny's Aimless Rambling post. Please go by there today - well, you've heard of laughing so hard tears ran down your legs... it was that kind of trip!

Thursday, February 02, 2017

The joy of coming out

If you didn’t read yesterday’s post you might want to go back here and read that first.

I'm comfortable with the way I turned out. I’m happy with myself as an adult. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about what people think of me. I’m basically a nice person, I treat people well and I live my life as I want.

However, doubts crept in when I started thinking about going to Josie’s funeral. All the high school ‘group’ would be there. Of course they weren’t coming to see me, we were all coming to celebrate the life of our friend. Then why in the heck did I suddenly wonder what I was going to wear? Why did I question my decision to stop coloring my hair and let it go gray? Why did I suddenly realized I had no shoes to go with what I’d decided to wear? And why did I care? I mean I cared so much I stopped and bought new shoes on the way to the funeral! BTW, those shoes hurt like hell.

Several of us had planned to meet and ride to the service together – as they pulled up one in her new Lexus, one in her new BMW I crawled out of Nick’s thirteen-year-old work car (Mollie was driving mine while hers was being worked on).  I got in the car with the other ladies, two of them dripping diamonds, hair obviously just done – because every damn one of us is really gray now. And I sat, wearing the jewelry I always wear –  my wedding band and feeling like the hanger on I was back in high school and on top of that, my feet hurt.

But wait, it gets better – I mean actually better. We were early and we sat in the chapel together talking of Josie. We discussed how much fun she had been, how she always talked non-stop, even in class – yet all the teachers loved her anyway. We then had a little while to talk about ourselves.  I stayed quiet other than mentioning that I was retired when one of the ladies asked me about my writing. I’d recently put a link to my books on my real Facebook page.  I told them yes I did write and I enjoyed it very much.  Several asked politely where they could find my books and I said I had a card if they were interested. Several did ask for one and I let the topic drop.

Last week I got a text from one of these girls saying we all needed to get together for dinner. I was willing to go once, but I didn’t expect much. To be honest I expected to be put to the side and ignored but I wasn’t going to let it bother me. It didn’t happen that way.

Two of the girls were already seated and I met the other two in the parking lot and as we sat, the friend to my right began immediately. “I have been dying to talk to you! I’ve finished the first two Cassie books and I’m starting the third one tonight.” To say I was stunned is an understatement.

The other were very curious and began asking questions. Many of which I let my friend answer. She told them, “I thought she was talking about writing children’s books at first. Then I thought it was going to be a sweet simple love story – it’s not just that, you girls have to read Cassie!”

It was a new experience being in a crowd of (probable) vanillas discussing my books. The evening was both enjoyable and eye opening for me. I learned we didn’t have the biggest house or the newest car – but I was the only one there who’s house, car’s, and kid’s college were all paid off. One is divorced, one’s husband has been in and out of rehab so often she doesn’t care if he comes back or not. The other two are at a typical point for many my age, ‘Yeah, he’s around an I like him fine, but who cares.’

I told them Nick and I had come out of the marriage doldrums about ten years ago and started dating again like when we met. That we’d formed a closeness that we hadn’t had early in our marriage and that we loved each other more than ever. I stopped short of bragging, but I sure as hell could have.

One of the final question they had was about my hair. They all said that they were sick and tired of having to touch up their roots so often, but they didn’t have the courage to let it go natural. I told them that part of it had to do with the writing, that although I wrote fiction, writing gave me the courage to be myself. Running my fingers through my hair I told them, “This is the real me and I like who I am.”

“Well damn,” one of them muttered, “I wonder if I could write?”

It was a good evening. It was good for my self-esteem. We may get together again, we may not but if we do, I don’t think I’ll feel like a hanger on anymore.

Footnote –

Two other things that have happened since I told my real FB about my writing. A former school receptionist put on FB that she had down loaded all my books to take on a two-week cruise! That tickled me.

The second is that my former boss, the principal that hired me twenty-eight years ago, sent me a FB message saying he’d read the first book and was starting the second. Then he asked (and he’s the first vanilla to ask this to me directly) did Nick do all this spanking stuff to me. My answer:

“Of course, doesn’t everyone? Seriously, do you think all the writers of murder mysteries go out and kill someone? You never really know do you?”

I will say coming out of the closet has been a blast!

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

My Friend

I bet we all have feelings and memories from high school that stick with us. For me these feelings have been dragged to the front lately and demanded examination. Like many young girls I had a best friend in elementary and high school. Beginning in fourth grade it seemed Josie and I were always together. We had sleep overs, we were comfortable in one another’s churches, we shared family reunions and we always vacationed together – to the beach, camping, and we even shared a trip to Hawaii when we were seventeen.

But when we hit high school there was a change – Josie became wildly popular. Her circle of friends included jocks, cheerleaders, majorettes, all the cool people. I was definitely shunt to the side. She and I remained friends, but within the ‘group’ she hung with, I was defiantly a ‘hanger on’. No one was really mean to me, but if I’d have vanished no one would have ever noticed.

After high school Josie married and had a baby right away while I went off to college and I’m guessing many of you know the feeling of true friends simply drifting apart. We lived in the same town but rarely if ever saw one another. Fast forward forty years and Josie and I were thrilled to get together and talk at our fortieth reunion. At the time, we were both anticipating retirement and we planned on seeing each other more.

Josie retired in June and I couldn’t wait for my retirement in December so we could have some long lunched getting reacquainted. Didn’t happen. Josie died January 9 from complications following routine surgery. She didn’t even see her sixtieth birthday. I was stunned. It just wasn’t her time, we were going to go to lunch and laugh and talk and …

We’ve all been told, especially as we’ve gotten older, not to put things off. But it bears repeating – don’t.

It all made me remember a poem I first read in one of Laura Ingles Wilder books,

Between sunrise and sunset
One golden hour set with sixty diamond minutes.
No reward offered, it is lost forever.

I wanted to share this with you but the story doesn’t stop there. Tomorrow I want to tell you about reconnecting with the others in the ‘group’ Josie had. One part of me just wanted to avoid them all as those old high school feeling rushed back. But we did reconnect, and we did some laughing for sure, and I was really happy I went.