I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Friday, November 16, 2018

Yep, I'm bugging you to say something again

I’m back for my thirteenth Love our Lurkers Day! I often wonder how our silent readers view this day. I'm guessing that many of you are saying one of three things to yourself.

1. “Geeze, can’t they leave us alone? I just want to read in peace. I’m not bothering them. Why do have to say something?”

2.  “There is no way I can say anything. Everyone will know it’s me and I can’t let anyone know I read spanking blogs!”

3.  “I have absolutely nothing to add. I’m not spanked and don’t expect to be. I find it all very stimulating, but I don’t know what to say. I just want to read and think about it.”

When I first found blogs I was hesitant to comment due to a combination of  reasons two and three. I didn’t understand blogs or exactly how they worked but I was afraid ‘someone’ would find out. Since I wanted to comment I just set up a completely new email, told no one in my real life about it and commented away under the name Elis, later changed to PK, and I’m still going strong and no one I haven’t told myself has ever found out.

Those folks held back by the third reason are the very ones we’d love to hear from. Every single blogger among us was at this point sometime in the past. Every one. By commenting that first time we allowed ourselves to accept our desires and be proud of who we are. I was able to not only find my voice here, I gained the courage to use my voice in other aspects of my life. And all this came about because I took the step to talk to others like me.

I admit, I live for comments. They mean more to me than any of you know. I’ve been here for a dozen years. The idea of closing the blog plays in my mind more and more these days. But I’ve held on because I love the contact with others. I know my blog is rarely on topic, but I see by my stats that people are still coming by. Yet only a small fraction speak to me. 

IMPORTANT: I do my LOL Day differently than most. If you normally comment here, if we email often, if we’re friends on FB, if we talk on the phone occasionally or if we’ve met in person – please don’t comment today. Today is only for those who are usually silent. If you’ve never commented, if you only comment or email me two to three times a year, then I ask you to please say something today. If a public comment still worried you, email me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com
I wouldn’t have been here as long as I have if people couldn’t trust me with their emails.

The ball's in your court. I hope I get comments today. I’d love to hear from you and I’ll answer each one – a comment or an email. Thanks.

Monday, November 12, 2018

It's going to be up to you

Love our Lurkers day is coming soon - November 16 and 17. I just wanted everyone to know. Most of us bloggers are thinking of what we want to say. What can we say to let our silent readers know how welcomed and wanted they are and how much we would like to hear from you? I’m working on what I want to say – I hope you are.

Thursday, November 08, 2018

A Beautiful Conclusion to Our Trip

I wanted to do one last post on our trip. These are some of my favorite pictures. This was at the end of our trip and finally Nick got to do something he'd had on his bucket list for a long time. It was NOT on my bucket list. But we're a team and so I was right there with him.

We left the Grand Canyon traveling again through some empty lands, prompting Nick to comment, " We've driven over five miles and we haven't passed a Dollar General, a Wal-Mart, a McDonalds or a tattoo parlor." Something we could never say at home.

But we kept going and eventually reached civilization again. So want did we do that Nick had wanted to do for so long? I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Yes we did go up, up and away in a beautiful balloon!
And we loved it!

Monday, November 05, 2018

You have to read this because I want your opinion

I don’t talk politics on my blog – but sexual fantasies, now that's a different story! When I read this particular article (NOT involving arguing over political issues) I knew I had to share it here.  It was about the differences in the sexual fantasies of Republicans and Democrats and why. I was fascinated.

Here are the basic differences as stated in the article:

While self-identified Republicans and self-identified Democrats reported fantasizing with the same average frequency—several times per week—I found that Republicans were more likely than Democrats to fantasize about a range of activities that involve sex outside of marriage. Think things like infidelity, orgies and partner swapping, from 1970s-style “key parties” to modern-day forms of swinging. Republicans also reported more fantasies with voyeuristic themes, including visiting strip clubs and practicing something known as “cuckolding,” which involves watching one’s partner have sex with someone else.

By contrast self-identifying Democrats were more likely than Republicans to fantasize about almost the entire spectrum of BDSM activities, from bondage to spanking to dominance-submissive play. The largest Democrat-Republican divide on the BDSM spectrum was masochism, which involved deriving pleasure from the experience of pain.

Well that got my attention! I was also very interested in the possible reasons given in the article:

What connects Republicans and Democrats, I believe, is that their fantasies are at least partly driven by what they can’t have. As I argue in  Tell Me What You Want, the supersized sexual appeal that non-monogamous and voyeuristic acts hold for Republicans likely stems from the fact that sex outside of marriage and multi-partner sex are huge no-nos in a political party that continues to make “traditional marriage” one of the cornerstones of its official platform and regularly funnels federal funds toward abstinence-only sex education. Nothing makes us want to try something like being told you can’t do it. This is why taboos, no matter what they are , often becomes turn-ons.

This same instinct may also help to explain, in part, the appeal of BDSM to Democrats. Within the Democratic Party, much of what drives the Democratic Party, much of what drives the political agenda is the view that inequality is the source of a wide range of social problems. This is regularly seen in the party platform, which recently made multiple mentions of the need to “level the playing field.” It’s not a stretch, then, to suggest that playing with power differentials  - especially in BDSM settings, where women and men might not appear to be on equal footing and where the lines of sexual consent might not always be explicit – is taboo in many Democratic circles.

Like I said I found this very interesting. I was just curious as to what you guys might think of this. You can go here to read the whole article.

Thursday, November 01, 2018

Quick update

 My little grand pup last spring

And then yesterday!

Sweetest dog ever!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Cassie's First Halloween

Happy Halloween! I hope you enjoy this Cassie story of their very first Halloween together! Hope everyone gets lots of candy tonight.

First Halloween

The river is so beautiful this time of year. What could be better than October?  It’s a beautiful month that builds up to Halloween. It’s been such fun since we moved to the river. The adults dress up to give out the candy. It’s like one long neighborhood party that ends with a bonfire on the riverbank.
As Tom and I discussed our costumes for this year, I casually remarked, “It’s a shame I can’t quite get into the costume I wore the first Halloween we were together.” I laughed as I saw the peeved look come over Tom’s face. Gracious, that was more than forty years ago. The man needs to learn to let things go.
I know people nowadays see us as a sweet old couple. And I suppose we are, but when we first met, I would have been called a wild-child. I lived a lifestyle that would have no doubt killed me young. Tom was my hero. He rode in and rescued me from my wild and dangerous ways and made me feel safe enough for the lady in me to come out. That doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing from the beginning.
That first Halloween we had been married just over a month. We were in the process of moving to a new house and had joined a club in town. That year the club was hosting a big Halloween Ball. Sue, my best friend, and I had been looking forward to going. Tom planned on going as ‘The Phantom.’ His only concession for his
costume was to wear an old style tux with his half mask. My dress was a gorgeous period piece, Victorian and elegant. I felt like a queen. Sue and Steve were going as Martha and George and while the Washingtons looked quite elegant, I secretly like our outfits much better.
Then out of the blue, Tom breezes in on October twenty-ninth with devastating news. “Girl, I’m sorry as can be, but Steve and I have to go to Washington for a few days.”
“What? When?” I stammered.
“We have to catch a plane in about two hours.”
Oh, I was hot and I let him have it. I knew he had to travel for work sometimes, but this was the first time since our marriage and I felt angry and abandoned.
“Tom, what about the ball? Will you be back in time? Surely, you’re not going to miss that.”
“It can’t be helped, honey. We’ll be there until November second. But I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get back. We’ll go somewhere just the two of us for a long weekend. You and Sue can go to the ball together. You’ll still be the two prettiest girls there.”
“Sure,” I snapped pulling away from him. “Maybe I should go as George. I don’t know why your damn job should be more important than plans we’ve already made.”
“Enough,” Tom told me seriously. “Another word and you’ll have trouble sitting while I’m gone. I am sorry about the ball, but there’s nothing I can do.” Relenting a little as he saw my woebegone face, he added, “I love you, girl. I don’t want to fight with you. Please try to understand.”
I tried, but I wasn’t doing a very good job. 
“I have to go,” he told me. “Don’t fall into a temper and get yourself in trouble. Just behave and I’ll be back before you know it.” And with another kiss and a hug he was gone.
As he’d been packing I’d only been angry about the ball. As the silence of the house closed around me, so did the intense loneliness and that began to fuel my anger. I didn’t know how to process sadness or loneliness back then, but anger was an old friend.
The phone jangled and I rushed to answer it. “Were you fed the same sorry bullshit I just got?” Sue demanded.
“I sure as hell was.” I answered. “I’m so pissed about the ball.”
“You’re pissed – try going as half a Washington!” she yelled.
“Wait a minute,” I told her, as a sudden thought came into my head. “You don’t have to be Martha if you don’t want to be. We can dress anyway we want to now.”
Sue was quiet for a moment as what I was saying sank in. Then I could hear the grin in her voice. “I like the way you think,” she told me.
“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes.” I laughed. “We have some shopping to do.”


As the night of the ball rolled around I was absolutely gleeful. I wasn’t far past my ‘I’ll do anything I damn well please’ phase of my life and I was feeling that way again. Sue had come over to dress at my house and we were almost ready. 
My outfit was perfect. I had purchased a beautiful red wig that fell in a mass of curls down my back. The white halter top tied right under my breasts. The tightness of the little shirt gave me the cleavage I was well known for back in the day. The thin material allowed the dusty rose of my nipples to show clearly. I didn’t mind a bit.
My midriff was darkly tanned from the hours I’d spend in the sun. My shiny leather mini skirt began below my navel and ended at a length barely covering enough to be legal. This wasn’t many years after the networks had had a fit when Barbara Eden wanted to show her belly button on I Dream of Jennie, but I didn’t have the network to censure me and Tom was evidently too busy working to care what I wore. Fishnet stockings and high platform heels completed my outfit. Sue looked stunning as a blonde in an equally inappropriate whores’r us outfit of her own. We were ready for a night of partying. 
We each had an elaborately decorated eye mask and I’d outlined my mouth so differently that Sue swore I was unrecognizable. I know she was. While I wanted to go and have a good time, I did not want the new look getting back to Tom. We may not have been married long, but I knew enough to know he’d have a stroke if he knew I’d gone out in public dressed basically as a ‘working girl’.
Oh my, we were the hit of the ball! We only had to present the token – which had arrived in the invitation, so no one would know the identity of each guest. The crowd actually parted as Sue and I came in. I admit to being an attention whore and I loved every bit of the stares and whispers.
I had a drink in my hand all night and neither of us lacked for dancing partners, although I could almost feel the hateful stares coming from nearly every woman there. I was truly in my element when I looked across the room in time to catch Tom’s entrance. He wore the vintage tux, but not his mask. I panicked as he scanned the room. I couldn’t move. I was suddenly terrified of calling attention to myself. 
Tom didn’t spot me on his first scan and I carefully began edging toward the back entrance. I had to make it to our car and have the driver get me the hell out of there. I was in the hall and nearly to the exit when I heard Tom behind me.
“Moi, no.” I said in a low husky voice.
“Oui, vous,” Tom snapped.
“Tom, honey, it was a joke. That’s all.” Tom could have been deaf for all he was listening to me.
Taking my wrist, rather than my hand, he led me quickly out the door and across the lawn toward his car. He moved so quickly I could barely keep up. “Tom slow down,” I begged. These shoes . . .”
Without saying a word Tom stopped, quickly knelt and removed my shoes. In one angry gesture he threw them into the club’s pond,  as it shimmered in the moonlight. 
I was silent on the trip home. We’d been married such a short time, I actually expected a screaming match once we arrived and while I wasn’t looking forward to it, I had no doubt I could hold my own. It hadn’t truly sunk into my brain that Tom was not one to yell at his wife. He was a man of action.
Leading me straight to the bedroom, Tom quickly removed my mask and wig, tossing them onto a chair. Then with lightning speed he had my blouse, mini-skirt, garter with the fishnet and my panties off. This was my first experience of being nude while he was still wearing a tux and I’d never felt so vulnerable.
Tom sat on the bed and was in the process of pulling me across his lap before it dawned on my incredibly slow brain that I was about to be spanked. 
“NO! Wai . . .” I started, as I tried to fight my way off his lap. I never had a chance. Tom hadn’t begun using the ivory brush yet, but that mattered little. As his hand made contact with my bare rear, I yelled bloody murder. I hated being spanked back then. The pain, the loss of control – I fought with everything I had, including my vocabulary. I have to tell you, back then I could cuss more fluently than I could speak the King’s English. I cussed the man for everything I was worth.
Tom’s hand has always been hard as a board when he spanks. He wasn’t moving around much as he proceeded to nearly blister the crease between bottom and leg. My fighting, yelling and cussing were wearing me out – Tom did not seem to be tiring. 
As I quieted for a minute, trying to get my breath, Tom said calmly, “As soon as you’ve finished cussing, this spanking can begin.”
“Tom, dammit! Stop . . .”
“I’m guessing I can outlast you, girl,” he told me firmly. “I’d stop now if I were you.”
He was right. With supreme effort, I choked back what I wanted to say. As I tried to stay quiet Tom began to talk. Unfortunately, talking didn’t slow Tom’s hand one bit. “You had a beautiful dress to wear tonight. Thinking of you in it made me fly back just to take you to the ball, but instead you go out of your way to be seen in the worst possible way.
“When are you going to understand you are a lady? I expect you to always speak and present yourself as a lady so you’ll always be treated as one.”
I was hearing a little of this, very little, and it was probably years down the road before I truly understood what Tom was trying to say to me. Tom was slowing his spanks, yet each was still firmly delivered and I alternated howling and begging him to stop.
When he finally did, I was a mess. Tom stood me up and held me against him. “It’s all right, girl. You’re going to be all right.” After a moment he helped me onto the bed and he the stepped into the bathroom, returning with a cool cloth for my face and lotion for my bottom. After applying it gently, he lay beside me holding me. 
“This is hard for you isn’t it, girl?”
I nodded.
“You knew I wouldn’t want my wife wearing such an outfit in public didn’t you?”
Again, I nodded.
“Cassie girl, don’t fight me. Trust me, let me take care of you and protect you. I want to give you the most amazing life – you just need to trust me.”
I’m still amazed by how true his words were, then and now. And he has indeed, given me a most amazing life.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

I miss Cassie

As the title says, I miss Cassie. I’m lonely for her. Most of you reading here know I have an ‘unusual’ relationship with Cassie. She is my oldest friend. In fact we’ve been near constant companions for over fifty years now. I think the greatest joy in my life, after Nick and the kids, is having been able to share Cassie with all of you. 

I've written ten Cassie books. I’m not sure Blushing Books will
want to publish any more. The last book, Cassie’s Life, I felt was the very best. (Although they are all stand-alone books you’d enjoy this last one more if you read a couple of the others.) But even though it’s good, it didn’t sell well. Maybe people were tired of Cassie or maybe they came across this one first and avoided it thinking they didn’t want to jump into a series that late in the game.

I’m moving on with new book so I haven’t spent as much time lately ‘visiting’ with Cassie. Occasionally, I’ll seen her at night. I’m a great sleeper and rarely have trouble but if I do find myself tossing and turning I’ll often head to the river. Cassie and sometimes some of the other are on the porch. Cassie always saves me the rocker beside her and I join her to watch her river flow by. Sometimes if I am upset about something she reaches out and puts her hand over mine and I can feel the tension leave me as I relax fully. I’ve often said a shrink would have a field day with Cassie and me.

But yesterday I had a Cassie flash. Just a scene, like a snapshot. Everyone was gathered at Cassie, the women on the right side of the deck, the men had drifted to the other end or out in the yard. I noticed particularly how Cassie was dressed. It was a casual affair. She had on tennis shoes, jeans and a crisply ironed button up shirt in a black and white check pattern. Her sleeves were turned up mid-way her forearms and I noticed that with this casual outfit she was also wearing a dazzling diamond bracelet. Lily had been speaking and it must have been funny because Cassie threw back her head in laughter. It seemed so typically Cassie – enjoying every minute of life. 

So what do I do about missing Cassie. I have stories I haven’t included in the books, although avid long time readers may have come across some of them on her blog in years past. I really doubt many of those folks are still around. If I’m not going to do another book I could let Cassie begin posting again. I don’t know how many readers that would draw. Cassie still has stories she wants to tell and since I’m not exactly in the writing business for the money it doesn’t really matter where they are published. Should I decided to do this just know – if you comment over at Cassie’s, it will be Cassie who answers your comments. She’s a hard woman to keep quiet.

I think I’ll do my ‘Throw Back Thursday’ on Wednesday this week. I’ll post Cassie’s Halloween story. Maybe that will ease my loneliness a bit.

And I'm never above a little self promotion - you can find all my books here. The first in the series is Cassie's Space.