I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, February 18, 2019

Searching for Old Friends

Bonnie had an interesting post here looking for some of our old friends who no longer blog. Just reading that made me long for old friends. I was so happy to see Abby pop up over there and I hope to see her in the land once again. 

This post is to look for these old friends. I’ve been lucky enough to keep up with a few. I’m sure some just didn’t have the time, interest or energy to continue blogging. That’s fine, I’m not trying to get them to blog again (though that would be wonderful) I just want to know if they’re okay. Many of the ones I list here are very, very old blog – some have been gone a decade, but if one of them reads and pops in to say hello it will be worth it to me.

I hesitate to put up a list, I know I’ll be leaving so many off – but this is MY list, not a list of all bloggers we miss. But these people I list are those I felt close to and that I miss personally. For the few I am lucky enough to keep up with outside of blogging I’ll put Alive & Well. But for most I’m hoping they or someone who still knows them will do the same.

Eva at Nothing Random, Alive & Well

CeeCi, Alive & Well

Mthc, Alive & Well  Mthc never actually blogged, but was a great commenter. We still talk nearly daily.

Debbie, Alive & Well

*I’d really like to know how Theresa is! We were close for several years. She had a son near LJ’s age and I would so love to catch up.


Sar – fantastic blog – Pieces, it’s still on my blog roll if you just want a wonderful read.



Padme Amidale


Dove – I know she was from Australia

Purple Angel

Killisto (& Spanky)

Snow White

Todd & Suzy

Angel Brat

Andrades – I would love to hear from her 
and find out why she left. It was just so abrupt.



Emerald Eyes

Mistress Sky 

There are three others I’d like to mention

Mthc’s husband, David, pass away several years ago. He used to leave wonderful comments, a truly great guy.

Paul – such a dear friend. Though he never blogged he was a staple here for so many years. I believe he comment on every single post I put up on my various blogs until he became too ill to do so. He’s passed on too, but I still miss him.

And then there was Bas – Bas was a love! His kindness and wisdom was a true breath of fresh air out here. When he died it was a blow to us all. I’m still in touch with his wife from time to time and she is well. 

If you have see yourself on this list, or if you are in contact with anyone on this list please leave a comment or email me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com


Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Shell's Have You Ever...

If you’ve read here for more than a day, you probably know I love a good meme or anything like that. I loved Shell’s Have you Ever… post, so I’m giving it a try.

Have You Ever....

Had one of your kids unknowingly pick up or use one of your implements? 

Yes, LJ kept borrowing Nick old belt. I hadn’t even come out to Nick at the time, but in my mind I had lovely plans for that belt. But one thing long ago did catch me off guard. Check this out if you have time - Spicing things up

Hid an implement?

Oh heck, yes! I can’t quite bring myself to throw anything away, but I’ve hidden several. And let me tell you, it’s ain’t pretty when he find them and realized I was behind the ‘disappearance.’

Had an uninvited audience for a spanking?

Do the cat’s count?

Had an implement break while being in use?

Several times. But nothing important.

Stood up or walked out from a spanking?

I don’t think so. But a few time I’ve been mad and made myself totally unresponsive and when he stopped I just walked away.

Purchased an implement yourself....for yourself?

Tons and tons! Nick doesn’t really see spanking implements unless it’s labeled as such. I see them everywhere. And I especially did when we first began. I love perverables that you can get anywhere. I’ve bought many on line too, as well as a few adult stores I’ve visited. I bought a paddle from Blondie – and it’s beautiful, a true treat for the eye, if not the ass.

Have you ever had a session where all the implements were used?

No, but the last time we brought EVERYTHING out, we had over forty implements. Not counting all our kitchen toys and regular belts and hairbrushes. I’ve also been gifted a beautiful flogger since then.

A sample

Had to explain "weird noises" coming from your bedroom?

No. I’m very aware of things like that. Our kids were teenagers when we began. But in the beginning we did fix up a special room in the basement far from the kids.

Been spanked outside of the comfort of your four walls?

Yes, I have!

Spanked your significant other?

I have, but like Shell, I’m not fond of it. I am not a spanker and don’t want to be one. But he does like to know what our toys feel like. He say it give him a better idea of how it can and should be used.

Been spanked in a hotel room/resort?

Many times. I kind of like the idea of possibly being over heard by total strangers that you will never see again.

Been spanked with your own belt?

I don’t wear belts. Should I get some?

Monday, February 11, 2019

Good News, Bad News

*A quick note first. I'm beginning a story over at Cassie's Space tomorrow. I'd really appreciate you coming by. This story has never appeared in any of the books and should be brand new to 99% of you. Should you be willing to leave a comment, remember - you're talking to Cassie and she'll be the one to answer you.

Good News, Bad News

Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. I’m not taking the best care of myself. I’ve not been awful. I go to the gym – and actually work out, at least three days a week. My weight has stayed nearly the same for several months, a little loss, but not much. I take my meds religiously, never miss a day. But I’m afraid I’ve been slipping more and more on what I eat. And let’s just say it’s not been health food. 

I’m afraid if you made a list of the most unhealthy foods out there you would me making a list of my favorites. Cakes, cookies, pies and pastries. I also love any starch pretending to be a vegetable – potatoes, rice, lima beans, corn. I love potato chips and popcorn. I love most meats too. There are a few veggies I’ll tolerate – spinach, onions, peas, green beans, yellow squash, zucchini. I’ll eat these, but I sure don’t ever crave them.

Basically my eating habits resemble that of a ten year old allowed to eat exactly what they want and nothing else. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes I was scared to death and I really tried to straighten up. I did stop soft drinks and that was hard! I watched my carbs and even tried to find some healthy recipe. But gradually with NO symptoms I let most of the bad stuff creep back into what I was eating.

I have a million excuses – there are just so many ‘good’ foods that I seriously don’t like. And preparation is another problem. I hate cooking! I don’t like to take the time to cook and clean up after meal I really like. You can see my reluctance to take the time to make stuff I really don’t want to eat in the first place.

Grrrr… my A1C had gone up so much that the doctor wants me to take my meds twice a day. I don’t want to. So I told her I’m going to work on bringing it down the right way – diet and exercise first. Then we can recheck it in May.

Okay, enough bad news. Now for the good news. I’ve finally found something Nick does seem to care about. I told him all about this in the letter I’m to send him each week.  He wasn’t happy that I’d let things get this bad. It didn’t happen overnight so he knew I’d ‘been bad’ for quite a while. He told me we’d talk about it in the bedroom at 2:30.

I went about my day. I took care of several errands, but several took longer than expected. I got home around 2:40 and told Nick, “I’m so sorry we missed our appointed time. Maybe we can try again next week.” I felt it was worth a try.

It didn't work. He told me he completely understood me being late, but he felt we’d still be able to squeeze our ‘talk’ in. We did. The general talk going on was about my letting my health slip and not paying closer attention to my blood sugar. I pretty much knew what he was saying but my attention wasn't centered on my listening skills, but somewhere else.

A note here to Sunny –  that damn, fricking, devil paddle you
gave me should burn in hell! I could swear I’d hidden… I mean lost that thing. It’s the most evil implement we own and that’s taking in my hatred of the cane – a gift from another friend! Gee, thanks, Ronnie.

Gratefully he only used it for the first three swats and let me keep my clothes on. But Nick doesn’t like clothes in the way when he spanks. The longer we do this I become more in favor of spanking with my jeans on.

So the spanking continued. And I promised I’d do better, I had already decided that. And I mean it. But Nick had one more way to assure that my thought would stay focused for a little longer. He decided I should wear a plug for a time to assure I knew he was serious. 

Plugs are in interesting. I don’t hate them, but wearing one while dressed and going about your usual business is … different. Your mind never strays far from the intrusion nor the one who placed it there. It’s a form of discipline that intimate and is bound up with trust in the one insisting on it, much like spanking. Plugs are silent, somewhat uncomfortable but not painful, and wearing one shows submission. 

There is my news, both bad and good. I’ll work on the health issues and it seems like Nick will be standing by, paddle in hand, to see that I do. Works for me.

Thursday, February 07, 2019

Why I'm here

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to find my
blogging mojo these days. Things are well here. A little spanky fun now and then, but not too much in my head these days that sparks a post. I’m even slipping on my commenting. I read everyone but more and more I feel I have little to add.

However, Shell’s post the other day did start me thinking. If you haven’t read it, go there now and check it out. 

It got me thinking about my beginning as a blogger. Blogland was a different world then. Not better, not worse – but definitely different. There were many, many more people blogging. There was much teasing and laughing back and forth. Most of us were begging our husbands to participate in this lifestyle. And thought we talked about submission, it never much seemed to materialize. Mostly because our husbands were somewhat confused by it and didn’t really seem to want it.

I began blogging to explore. This was before 50 Shades and I’d suddenly found my own kind when I didn’t really think any others existed. I was hopping up and down excited. I knew this was a huge part of who I was, I mean deep in my soul I knew this. Yet for nearly fifty years I had not one person with whom I could discuss it. And here was a playground full of women wanting to talk about it, share thought, ideas, implement choices and desires, you name it! And while there was a fear of being outted to those in my real life at the time, the joy of finding these friends far outweighed it.

Shell asked:

  • How do I keep from taking every ttwd moment from this day forward and running it through a blogging analyser?  
  • How do I hold on to authenticity in real life, when in the back of my head I know this will end up on a blog post at some point?
  • How do I separate blogger me from ttwd-wife me?  Or maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe they too need to learn to move together in harmony.....but how?

Very thought provoking questions. But for me blogging wasn’t far from what we women do all the time. If I’d found a great restaurant, a new kitchen gadget, bought new furniture I would have gone to work the next day and discussed these things with my friends. I would have done the same with more serious things like a problem with the kids or concern for an elderly parent. For most things in life we have someone we talk to – sometimes for their advice but mostly just to share and unburden ourselves with those who we feel will understand.

For me blogging is the same thing, except our core topic is much more interesting! Women talk, we share – just think about standing in line at the restroom. We can return knowing intimate details of the women standing around us (Nick says this rarely happens in a men’s room.)  

So if something wonderful happened in real life – a new car, a glorious vacation, the wedding of our children we share with our friends at work (verbal blogging). But in addition to that, actual blogging gave me a place to come when’d we’d tried something new and had mind blowing sex! I could share when I’d had a spanking that was well deserved where I felt forgiveness and reconnection. And I could talk about the silly fun spankings that pop up at times. Blogging gave me a special and safe place to discuss all these things.  And by taking the time to write them out it’s helped me have a much better understanding of both myself and if Nick.

Shell said :  Truth is. I don’t want to quit. I want to get this right. And to that I just want to say – you’ve already got it right. You’re here sharing with us, letting us share with you and we’re talking to one another. We do it all here – share, support, occasionally scolded and mostly encourage one another. 

That’s why I’m here and I’ll probably be here as long as this continues. 

Monday, January 28, 2019

Writing Spanking books

I’m guessing that if you take the time to come read my blog, then many of you have read some of my books. I find myself at an impasse and I’m hoping some advice from here can help me find a good direction. 

I love writing and by far I love Cassie and writing her stories the most. She has not stopped talking to me, there are still
stories I want to tell you, but I don’t know if I should do another Cassie book. The last one – which I loved didn’t sell well. Not a real problem, because I’d hate to try to live on my income as a writer. But does the fact that it didn’t sell well say that people are tired of her stories or that many newcomers don’t want to invest in a ten book series? I also feel that the ending of the tenth Cassie book was an excellent place to end the series.

I loved writing this latest book, Returning to Us, for the Corbin’s Bend series. It gave me a chance to stretch. I have the slightest beginning to a one book about a disgruntled teacher (something else I know well), but I can’t decide where I want to focus my energy.

I keep coming back to the River. I mean I have invested a lot of myself there and wonder about starting a new series, an On the River series, with alternating leads. I mean I have Cassie, Sue and Annie. I have Allie and Ryan. I have Allie’s friends Jenny and Lane, and Jenny has a mother-in-law and three sisters-in-law who are all in spanking relationships! And I have Lily’s opinion on all of them. That just seems like a rich a pool to give up.

If I began a new series I would have to begin with these people as unknowns and build them up again for newcomers, but not take so long as to bore those who already know them. It’s an interesting dilemma.

So I’m really asking, which would you be more likely to read, a book with brand new fresh characters or more from the people you know at the river? I’ll probably go with whoever is talking loudest in my head, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. And please, to my usually silent readers, if you have read any of my books please give me your thoughts too. You can email me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com if you’d rather not leave a comment.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

He made me think. And I HATE that!

I’ve been writing to Nick each week as he asked. So I’ve been putting some thought into what I’ve needed to say. There’s been nothing earth shattering so far – the holidays, babysitting, enjoying guest – I haven’t sat around contemplating TTWD. But evidently, Nick has been.

He emailed me a request. He’d talked about it before but this time he worded it in a way that had me doing some of this deep thinking that I don’t like doing. I can come up with hundreds of things I do or don’t do that I think would give Nick ample reasons to spank me. I don’t like to cook or clean, I get to bed late, I ignore clean laundry (that he’s washed) and don’t get it put away, and there are dozens more.

But this request encouraged me to turn the tables. He asked for me to think of things I would want him to change or do or stop doing if were the disciplinary. Part of his email read:

I now offer the opportunity for you to address issues that I need to consider (realizing that it may be difficult to think of anything(funny man)).  If you are able to think of anything, pick a day sometime this month and give me a heads up of a day or two to get in a listening mindset. Hopefully this will allow you to experience the difficulty in judging exactly how you think it should be handled, and perhaps the awkwardness of being judge and jury. And it will give me issues to consider towards becoming a better husband.

I saw what he was getting at. So I gave it some thought. Although Nick is far from perfect, there was very little I could think of that I would judge a ‘spankable offence’ if I were the spanker in the family. I finally came up with one thing he does that bugs me, but after that one I was down to searching for anything! I found one more, on rare occasions he rinses out his cereal bowl and leaves a cheerio or two in the strainer. Good grief! My husband gives me carte blanche to ‘correct’ anything I don’t like about him and that’s all I can come up with?

While I can spot my own faults quite easily, I now realize that looking at the one you love and try to point out their faults or things they should change doesn't come so naturally.  I guess it all boils down to we just don’t bug each other too much and we’re both very understanding of the other.

This all reminded me of an incident that happened over thirty years ago. We’d been married about three years, when I came home from my college class one afternoon. Nick gave me a funny look and asked, “Do you have anything to tell me?

I gave him a bewildered look and answered, “No, why do you ask.”

“I got a call from the Jerry Springer show today,” he told me. 

“They said my wife had something important to tell me. They said she wanted to tell me on the show and that they would fly us to Chicago and put us in a nice hotel for our stay.”

I was dumbfounded. “What did you say?” I asked. 

“I told them, no thanks. We weren’t interested.” 

“Why did you do that?” I nearly whined. “Now we’ll never know what I was going to tell you!” 

We both laughed and that was it. But can you imagine the furor this could have caused in some marriages? We just weren’t worried. We never did find out if it was really the show or if someone was pranking us. Perhaps we’re just too laid back.

I couldn’t remember the name of the show that had called so I text Nick. He reminded me it was Jerry Springer and added, ‘Did you remember what you were going to tell me?’

I told him, ‘Nope, sorry, but I’m still trying.’ Oh, well.

Nick did get me thinking. Nothing’s changed. But I took the time to stop and think. If it was the other way around I know I would never be able to do a good job as judge, jury and … spanker. Not with someone I love as much as I do him. So I think I’ll cut him some slack. I’ll enjoy our play time and let the rest of DD just sit there on the periphery. It’s there if we should ever need it, but I don't think it will  come into play too often.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Excellent Weekend

*If you get the chance please go by here. A dear friend is giving me a shout out and you can read an excerpt from the new book.

It’s been quite a weekend. Mollie flew to the big city where they're predict snow and bitter, bitter cold. She doesn’t listen to her mama. This means I’m babysitting for the cat and the pup. So her travels have been on my mind.

Second, the book came out! It’s Returning to Us, a Corbin’s Bend book. It’s doing well and I’m really excited. It’s always exciting as I hold my breath to hear what others think of it. I hope many of you will give it a try.

The third, and most exciting, thing this weekend was a visit from Katie T herself! She was in my neck of the woods and stopped in for a visit. She got to meet Nick and Mollie and all the critters. We went out to eat – because I’m not about to cook for someone who knows how. And of course we went wild and got into worlds of trouble just like Cassie and Sue and Annie… 

Well, maybe not exactly. But I did show her my little town. We went all over and  hit all the exciting places. When that twenty minutes was over we went to lunch. 

Later that afternoon, when Mollie asked what we were up to I was able to thrill her with stories of me drawing and Katie T knitting. But just so we don’t seem totally dull, I will report that we bestirred ourselves long enough to go to the gym and walk on the indoor track for two miles.

Maybe we’re not wild and crazy but we did have a wonderful time together. We discussed all manner of spanky things and it is fun to be able to discuss that topic with someone who understands. 

Now, please, everyone go read a new book!