I don’t like spanking *

* There is an explanation to this title. We’ve talked about how everyone in the TTWD  family is so very different. There are as many ways to do TTWD (this thing we do, basically spanking and such – for the newcomers) as there are people doing it. When Nick and I participate I’d say we’re pretty near the middle of the scale. I see the scale going from those who do a little light spanking during sex to heavy full on BDSM and everything that it can imply.

 

So after thinking about spanking all my life and writing a blog about it for over fourteen years, why on earth would I say I don’t like spanking? 

Because I don’t.

But let me tell you what I do like. I like the feeling of anticipation before a spanking. That sizzling butterfly feeling. The sexy emails we often send back and forth. A well worded ‘threat’ can enflame me.The wondering – is this going to be a light play session, a hard stress buster, a you will listen to me or an all-out rump roasting that you know you fully deserve.

 

I like wondering what he going to use? His hand, the light leather paddle, the heavy leather paddle, the wood paddle, the flogger or the cane (yikes!)

 

I like the fact that when he takes me to the bedroom I know that for the duration of our next little while I will be the sole focus of his attention. We will both be concentrating on one another and the rest of the world can go jump for a while. Not to mention the great sex that usually follows the spanking!

 

Then comes the spanking itself. Warm-ups are nice, tingling and stinging just enough to bring a rush of blood to some very interesting places. But then it steps up. Now I know that there are many out here who truly enjoy pain, hats off to you for knowing yourselves well. But that’s not me and I say that a firm wooden paddle, or a thick leather strap struck sharply against your ass HURTS! And when it’s repeated over and over it HURTS WORSE! I don’t like this!

 

My mind goes into a frenzy begging silently, Please stop! I can’t take anymore!  Only to be followed immediately by, Wait, is that all? when it’s over.

 

I forgot to mention one of Nick’s questions the other day and it was an important one too. During our in-spanking talk (as Windy called it) he asked if I ever dreamed of being sore or really feeling it the next day. Short answer – 

 

Oh, hell YES!

 

If I liked the anticipation before a spanking, I love the after effects. Any pain we can take with us from the spanking is proof – a continuing reminder of how much we’re loved. That my guy took time away from yard work, golf or watching sports to make TTWD real, to do something he knows I need in my life to keep me happy and balanced. He’s the only one who can do this for me. For me it’s proof of his love and caring. It may be the after-pain that I love the most about TTWD.

 

‘Feeling it the next day’ sound reasonable in books. But in truth, it’s only happened for me twice in all these years. I had a few stray bruises and sore spots the first time he used his belt. I grinned more the next day than I normally would in a week.

 

Which brings me to the one and only good thing about a cane. Besides giving the immediate white-hot, nearly unbearable pain of the stroke, it does give a lasting effect. These feeling of these tiny thin lines can linger. Marks, which can be seen and enjoyed for days are common. For me, these are the only reasons I haven’t given a hard no to the cane.

 

In conclusion I’ll quote Cassie, “I’m perfectly happy with a husband who spanks. I love our lifestyle and I wouldn’t change it. The only time I don’t like our lifestyle is when he is actually spanking. During those moments I’m dead set against it. But in the big picture that’s  very small amount of time.”

I did get spanked, but I was embarrassed to tell you

Now you know me, I certainly wasn’t embarrassed about the fact I got spanked, but I was truly hesitant to discuss it here. And of course, if not here, where? It’s just that after so many years blogging I’ve repeated myself ad nauseam. I’d write about wanting spanking in my

life, needing it, longing for it. Then I’d write about getting a little spanking in my life, then about not getting enough. And finally  vowing to never agree to a spanking again only to turn around to say we’re trying again. I started to picture readers pointing and laughing.

 

I know I’m supposed to write for myself and not worry about what readers think. I do sometimes, but not always. Let’s just say I was beginning to roll my eyes in both disgust and amusement. So I haven’t talked much about spanking in a long time. And definitely not about me getting spanked.

 

But Nick and I did talk – face to face with real words and everything and that was a good start. We’ve since done some emailing and talking. He made it clear that he thought I deserved a good spanking for just stopping everything without talking to him at all. No discussion, no nothing. Just, ‘I’m not doing that anymore.’

 

So one afternoon I was told what time to be in the bedroom and what to be wearing – basically the blindfold. Nick then made it clear how he had felt about my abrupt ‘withdrawal of consent.’ It was much better that the few play spankings I had during this past year. They just hurt. I had plenty of thinking time before this one and I could take much more. Strange how that works for me. Also Nick is never harsh. He never wants to go too far. And for the most part I appreciate that. Although pushing the limits can have its value too.

He asked some interesting questions during the spanking. He wanted to know if I ever daydreamed about things that wouldn’t necessarily be good for me, did I muse of those spankings that were really hard, that went on too long, or were done with implements that I hated. And I told him yes, I often did. He asked if I ever daydreamed about the cane and I told him no. He agreed that it was more for punishment rather than fancies.

 

Then he asked me if I every fantasied about being spanked to tears. I told him honestly that I hadn’t thought of that since the early days. I don’t think it’s possible. He could injury me which he would never do. He could spank me to rage, but I don’t think actual tears are possible unless I was extremely emotional beforehand and if I were that emotional a light spanking would do it. I think it’s impossible for me to let go that much. It would be nice to experience it, but I just don’t know how.

 

So it happened. And the sex afterwards was great. And I have every hope that it will continue.

Fantasy Friday Revival - Baseball

Welcome to Fantasy Friday. This is a story from 2008 and it came from an anonymous reader. I think this lovely wife falls completely in the brat category. Please enjoy...

Baseball

I don’t ask for much, in fact I am very easy to get along with. I expect him to notice when I change my hair, tell me when I look nice, and put me ahead of stupid things like baseball. We both work hard, put in long hours during the week. I don’t care what he does, weeknights. But, come the weekend, it is my time.

I don’t know why this is so difficult for him. I bought him a VCR so he could tape the games and watch them during the week. He says that just isn’t the same, it has to be live. I watch taped soaps and talk shows; I don’t see what the big deal is.

I refuse to lose to a bunch of guys on television. I will make him forget all about baseball.

**********

I knew she was spoiled when I married her. That's why we agreed on no children. She is a full time job all by herself. We both work hard, and make good money. Our investments will keep us in our old age. I have never wanted another woman, not since I first laid eyes on her, but enough is enough. I will watch baseball on the weekends. It is not as if I neglect her, a few hours of my own is not too much to ask.

Perhaps she needs another lesson on who is in charge.

*********

I cannot believe him. I paraded around in his favorite get up, tried to get him out of his clothes, even got so far as sitting on his lap, then the commercials were over and he sent me off to find something to do. To add insult to injury he strolls in, after the game, and expects me to fall all over him because he has time for me now. Like I can just turn myself on and off like a television. At least I made him work for it. But this is the last time.

*********

The next time she pulls one of her stunts during a game I am going to give her more "attention" than she bargained for. I must admit, it is comical to watch her. She's about as subtle as a freight train. She specializes in hard to get, but let there be a game on and suddenly she is panting for me. Just a few more weeks and the season will be over. I don't follow any other sports, so it will calm down over the winter and then the cycle starts again.

*********

I have had it. This is now all out war. We had a "discussion" about finances last night. That's what he calls it when he has me over his lap and is explaining with the paddle why I have to follow the budget. I'll show him budgeting. As long as we are cutting back and pinching pennies there is no reason for an extravagance such as cable. They were very sweet about terminating our service. Sunday morning, first thing, no more cable, no more baseball.

*********

Something is up. Whenever she is this sweet she's hiding something. I got a backrub, a home cooked meal and she practically chased me up to bed. She must have bought something really big this time. She hasn't worked this hard to soften me up since she decided she needed a sports car.

*********

He doesn't suspect a thing! I will just go read in my room when it's time for the game, and act all surprised and hurt that he isn't happy that I took him seriously when he said cut back on the spending. He can yell for a minute, and then he can spend the afternoon making it all up to me. Let's see, make love, then off for an expensive dinner, maybe dancing, if we aren't too tired. Why didn't I think of this sooner?

*********

Something is definitely up. We went out for brunch, as usual. Walked along the river. Then home, and she went off to read. No pouting, no complaining, no begging me to skip the game.

*********

Just as I get settled and am reading, minding my own business, letting him do whatever he wants, he starts shouting. Demanding I come downstairs. I take a moment to make sure I don't giggle and spoil the whole thing, and then wander down, trying to look innocent and a little confused.

*********

I cannot believe she would go this far. She canceled the damn cable. We get maybe three local stations, all poorly, without cable. I called to complain that it was out and they informed the "missus" had arranged for service to be terminated today. She knows this is the playoffs. Then she has the nerve to stroll in here like nothing is wrong, just can't imagine why I am yelling. I sent her upstairs to wait for me, in the corner. I need to calm down before I go up. The whole explanation about saving money and doing it for my own good was the final straw.

*********

He is being such a jerk about this. I knew he would get upset, but I figured it would blow over, he would see the humor in it and then we would make up. It's only one lousy game. I hope he hurries up; I hate waiting in the corner, like a little girl. I hate waiting almost as much as I hate what I'm waiting for.

*********

She looks so pathetic, in the corner, skirt up, panties down, sniffling. If I didn't know it was all an act calculated for sympathy I'd be ready to gather her up and forgive her. We both learned the hard way that doesn't work for us. I don't know about other couples but if she doesn't get her bottom paddled good and hard every now and then she just escalates.

I pull a chair to the middle of the room, no laying on the bed in comfort, this is a punishment, and a well deserved one at that. When I call her to me, she shuffles, panties around her ankles, and stands with her head down, the picture of remorse. I point, and she gingerly drapes herself across my lap. No lecturing, I start spanking, good and hard.

By the time the tears start her bottom is red and I pull the paddle out of my back pocket. It has been a long time since she has gotten a serious punishment. By the time I work my way down the back of her thighs she is begging for mercy, promising to be good, and swearing the cable will be back on tomorrow. I figure if she can still talk I'm not finished. It only takes a few more minutes to reduce her to uncontrolled sobbing. I let her rest over my lap for a moment until her sobs have quieted enough to hear me. Then I tell her the rest of her punishment. She has five minutes to wash her face, get dressed and meet me downstairs. We're going down to the local tavern to watch the rest of the game.

There will be no complaining, or we will come home and start over.

~~

My thanks to my anonymous readers for her story. I do think this lovely wife got exactly what she deserved. I hope some of you are out there writing now. Please send any stories you come up with to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Another question

 

Baker asked - 

I guess my question hinges off of Fondles. What are the implements you've tried and never EVER want to try again? And what implements would you like to try and never have?
--Baker

 

This one made me really think. Although you wouldn’t think it a horrible, harsh implement, I despise the bamboo backscratcher we have. It just hurts. I know many of you know what I mean. All implements hurt, but still we crave them. There is a feel about them we come to love even as they wail away on our behinds – but that backscratcher HURTS terribly on the surface, but leaves no lasting pain you can enjoy later. It’s strange, but I think it’s horrible thing. I’m not a fan of the cane either, but I’m not ready to take it off the table just yet.

 

As for the second part I’m stumped. I honestly can’t think of anything we haven’t tried over the years that I have any desire to try. Some I don’t ever what to play with would be the loopy Johnny, a bungee cords or an Acrylic paddle. 

 

For a happy update. My boys were able to get their first vaccine last week! Just like me they got a call late in the afternoon – a cold, rainy afternoon – where many people had not come in to get their vaccine. They jumped into a cab and rushed over. They have a second appointment in April am beyond thrilled!

Questions are still welcome! 

More answers

Note to Artlover - 

I was late answering your comment on my post on 3-15-21.

 I've answered it now if you want to go back and see.

I really thank everyone who has taken the time to ask questions. Bloggers are always looking for post ideas and I think this helps us out. 

Here are a few more answers. 

Bonnie asked:

Here's my question: What is at the top of your to-do list once you achieve full immunization?

It’s kind of like a day-dream isn’t it? Right now I’m most looking forward to the simple things – I want to go shopping. I’m not a big

shopper, but I’d sure like some new clothes. I want to walk through the store and touch things and try them on. I also want to wander through a Target or one of my favorites – Staples! I want to grab lunch with a friend and go to a movie theater and munch on popcorn. You knew, the things retirement is supposed to be all about.

I’m sure Nick will plan a big trip as soon as it’s safe and that will be great. But just being ‘normal’ again is what I’m most looking forward to.

 

Fondles asked:

Would you name 3 implements that are employed regularly (or have been in the past) besides the hand, on your behind and rank them in order of preference pls :)

Reply

 

I liked this, it made me think. 

 

Beginning with I number three think I’d choose the paddle we got from Blondie. It stings like the devil and I can’t take it for long. But the beauty of the this paddle and the psychological aspect of it – it is a paddle, there is no other use for it. Seeing it on the bed just does things to my mind, before it does thing to other parts of my anatomy.

 

 

Number two I would say is the belt. It makes for a wonderful love/hate feeling. It’s the stuff of my fantasies from way back. Watching, or even listening to it being unbuckled and pulled through the loops is another implement that draws your mind into play before the first stroke.

 

But the feel is the thing I love/hate. I love leather, I love that it conforms to my behind, that wrap-around feel. But it too, can be very painful. The first time he ever used a belt it left bruises that I could feel for days. I think that bothered Nick, but I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face I was so happy with my little badges of honor, as I thought of them.

 

 

But Number one has to go to the doggin’ bat! I do love this implement. It’s inexpensive and can be ordered from any equestrian site. It’s leather, so you have to love that. The lovely slapping sound it make is definitely another draw. But the best part is its versatility. It’s perfect for beginners or for light, fun, sexy spankings. However, put a little muscle into the strike and it can be perfect for harsh punishing strokes as well.

 

Thanks Fondles, this was fun.

Enzo asked:

My question: Is there any words of wisdom that you have learned about spanking that you have would like to share with fellow spankers?
Best,
Enzo

I have plenty of words and suggestions – wisdom, I’m not so sure. I know for beginners that wives can present this to her husband as something to spice up their sex life and usually get his attention and willingness to participate fairly quickly. After that she can bring up other related topics, her desire to be submissive, him being more dominant, the dd lifestyle – whatever her things is. 

I know this next piece of advice is critical, and it’s been said so many times people must be sick of hearing it – communicate! Talk, email, leave notes, text, email – whatever, but communicate! My readers, I’m sure, are laughing and are ready to throw this advice back at me. I know communication is the key. I also know I could do myself a world of good by eating a healthier diet and working out an hour at the gym daily. Simply knowing something works doesn’t make it any easier to do. But I’ll say it again:

To have any chance of having a good working spanking relationship you must communicate your needs and ask your partner what their needs are. A sad fact is neither of you can read minds. 

Thanks for coming by Enzo, I appreciate the question. 

There is more of March to go – if you do have a question, please ask away.

To answer your question...

Several people stopped by to ask questions for March: Questions and Answer month. Thank you for asking! Here are your answers.

Windy asked:

PK,
If you had to choose a different screen name than you have ever used including names in your books, what would your new blog land name be and why? 

I’ve actually given that some thought lately. I’m writing a vanilla book in addition to working on the ‘On the River’ series. Since there is no spanking in it, I want another pen name. I wouldn’t people buying a PK Corey book and being disappointed that it’s not what they expected.

The name I think I’ll use for those books (assuming that there may be more) is Lizbeth Lyn or some version of that. It was the name of someone I cared for greatly in the past.

Thanks for asking!

 

Roz asked:

Hi PK,

How did you come up with your character names? You talk about them telling you their stories. Does that include their names?

What activity (non kink/sexy) do you and Nick enjoy doing together?

Hugs 
Roz

Thanks Roz. Some I have known forever Cassie, Tom, Sue and Annie for example. I don’t remember how they came to me. As I sit here and think about it the names of the good guys in my stories just come – a name pops into my head and feels ‘right.’ For various reasons I tried to change Lily’s name before her first appearance. But I couldn’t do it. Her name was Lily so I left it alone. Now I don’t have a ton of ‘villains’ in my books, but when I have someone being a jerk, I think back over people who have really annoyed me in life. An old boss or co-worker and use their name.

In Returning to Us, the husband’s name was going to be Ross. My wonderful editor, Rosie Dee, quickly pointed out that having a frequently used name ending in double SS’s was a possessive nightmare. So I changed it to Hal.

As for what we like to do together, Nick and I laughed at this question, because we don’t have many shared activities. He likes golf and photography. I like reading, writing, and day dreaming. But when he can get me started, we like to travel together. He takes pictures and I make up stories along the way.

 

Deena asked:

 

Ooh, I hope you don't mind me picking your brain a bit :)

What has been the biggest benefit of having this type of relationship, and what has been the biggest obstacle?

Pick away! If you find anything useful, you’re welcome to it. The major benefit for us was that when I came out and he accepted me for who I was, my walls came down. I’m talking about old well-fortified walls that I hadn’t even realized were there. Suddenly we became closer than we had ever been. Over the years I have rebuilt some of the walls at times. But never to the degree they were. So our closeness remains and that is the biggest benefit that has come from TTWD.

The biggest obstacle has been my pre-conceived notion of what it meant to live this life-style. I don’t blame myself completely – I’d lived with these ideas for almost forty years before I shared them with Nick. It was fixed in my mind. I knew how it was supposed to be! Unfortunately, I didn’t take real life and real people into account. So I was often disappointed, annoyed, upset and angry when everything didn’t go according to my expectations.

Gradually, Nick would say very gradually, my ideas of how things ‘should be’ is becoming more realistic. We may figure this thing out yet.

 

Ronnie asked:

PK,

I'm interested to know about the question Roz asked, especially how you picked the names for your characters.

I know you are a home bird, but if you could spend a day anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Love,
Ronnie
xx

You can read above about the names. But I don’t have to think long for my favorite spot in the world.

 

Colonial Williamsburg

 

It’s not only the place itself, it’s the feeling I have when I’m there. Peace, tranquility and happiness seems to fill me when I walk the streets. No cars are allowed, only horses and carriages. Craftspeople take the time to tell you what they are doing as they make things using only the old tools and methods. 

 

I can’t pinpoint what it is that draws me so. I do love history and of course, it’s everywhere there. I remember being there with my parents when I was a child, I remember Nick and I going shortly after we married and I remember taking our kids there. I feel at home when I’m there.

 

I’m a strong believer in reincarnation. I have no doubt I lived in Williamsburg in a past life and it must have been a very happy life.

More answers tomorrow. 

 

I really appreciate you guys asking questions. If anyone else has any, please send them on!

Fantasy Friday - Flight 2146

Happy Friday. I'm taking most of my Fantasy Friday stories from 2008. This one was written by my friend Ceeci. She was a great blogger and an excellent writer. I secretly hope she is still doing a little writing. I hope you'll enjoy...

Flight 2146

"Your attention please, United Flight 2146, from Chicago, now arriving at Gate 14. Attention please, United Flight 2146, from Chicago, now arriving at Gate 14."

Stephanie's heart missed a beat. Standing, she smoothed her dress, patted her hair then licked her lips in anticipation. All the months of talking, all the months of planning and fantasies were about to become reality. Michael would be walking through the door to meet her for the first time. She hoped he wouldn't be disappointed. She hoped she wouldn't be either.

---

'I wish I could be there to help you celebrate your birthday with a spanking,' his comment on her blog had read. Stephanie had smiled when she saw it. Michael had been a secret crush for nearly two years and lately, his comments seemed more flirtatious. She responded by playfully asking if what he'd written was a threat or a promise.

Within a few weeks, Michael and Stephanie were talking on the phone nightly. They realized they had many things in common beyond their enjoyment of spanking. Occasionally, their conversations would stretch into the early morning hours.

They had carefully planned Stephanie's birthday spanking. Michael asked her questions about her previous spankings. Was she dressed? Had she been spanked during the day? Had she ever had her panties taken down? Did she have a favorite implement? Was there one that frightened her? Did she bruise easily? How about a sexy dress? Would she enjoy going over his knee? Stephanie had answered each of his questions truthfully and the scene for her spanking began to form in Michael's imagination.

He would take her to his hotel room. After checking in and depositing his luggage he hoped there would be a chair to accommodate their needs, if not, then he was prepared to be seated at the edge of the bed. Stephanie would remain dressed for this spanking. If there were others to come during his visit, those would be a different flavor.

Michael wanted to select her clothing. He wanted her in a dress. He also wanted her to be properly attired underneath her clothing. A slip, panties and matching bra were expected. He required she wear heels and hose. He knew Stephanie was a lady through and through and he wanted her dressed to fulfill his fantasies.

Once in the room, Michael would make himself comfortable while Stephanie waited for her 'gift'. He'd remove his shoes and socks, loosen the collar of his shirt, remove his belt (more for drama than use) and seat himself to begin fulfilling his promise.

He would beckon Stephanie to come forward. He hoped there would be a moment's hesitation and a fleeting look of doubt upon her face. After all, it isn't everyday two strangers rendezvous to make good on a casual comment.

Stephanie would step forward and stand beside him waiting for his directions.

In silence, Michael would take her hand, tug her forward and help her position her body across his lap. He wanted her head lower than her bottom and her hands occupied on the floor to maintain her balance. Once she was in position, Michael anticipated the pleasure he would find rubbing his hands over her round, clothed bottom. He would be in no hurry to get down to business. He would have a beautiful woman willingly positioned over his knee waiting, anticipating the delivery of a gift.

Slowly, Michael would raise the hem of her dress. Once he'd exposed her covered bottom, he would raise the hem of her slip. More rubbing and stroking were his plan and he would tease Stephanie's thighs and bottom with long slow caresses. Each stroke would be meant to help her relax and help her understand that his intentions were only to make good on his promise.

When he knew she was ready and the moment was at hand, he would begin spanking her upturned cheek. "Count them out, birthday girl," would be the first words he'd say. Once they'd reached fifteen, he would stop, rub for a moment, then ask Stephanie to stand and take her pantyhose down to her ankles. Her panties would remain in place.

"Back over my knee, birthday girl," he'd declare and once again position her with her luscious backside higher than her head. With the first spank, he'd ask Stephanie to begin counting again. At 25 he would pull the right leg of her panties between the cheeks of her rosy, red ass. At 35, he would pull the left leg of her panties into the same position, give them a little tug and then stop to rub her hot, glowing orbs.

"You're doing pretty good there, birthday girl," he would assure her and then ask if she was comfortable and ready for more. He would continue stroking her bottom and the backs of her thighs until he felt she was ready once again.

Because Stephanie had shared she'd never been spanked clothed or had her panties pulled down the next part of their fantasy was something they were both anticipating. It would be the first time he would see her sex. It would be the first time she'd felt someone else take her panties to her knees in preparation to spank her. They would both enjoy the experience.

Michael dreamed of taking the waistband of her bright, white panties firmly in his right hand to peel them away from her bottom. He would pull them down to a place just above her knees. From that position, he'd decided he would take his time getting back to her bottom. He wanted to explore her skin by slowly running his hand up the silky smoothness inside her thighs. He would not stop until he reached the place her legs came together. His hope was to find her anticipating more, much, much more.

With only sixteen more spanks to deliver, Michael wanted to be certain each one was memorable. He wanted Stephanie to remember this birthday spanking for the rest of her life.

---

"Your attention please, United Flight 2146, from Chicago, now arriving at Gate 14."

Stephanie took a deep breath and stepped forward to meet Michael at last.

~o~

Thank you Ceeci! As always your writing is wonderful. If you do still do some writing... well, you'd always be welcome to share here. That goes for everyone. Please send any stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

March – Questions and Answer month

My thanks to Ronnie for reminding me about question and answer month. We did this for years and then kind of let it go. But here we go... 

 

Ask anything you like. That’s anything from the blog to real life to my books… anything. I won’t promise to answer everything, but if it’s not my address, my social security number or my weight I’ll probably give it a go. 

All right, who the hell has Nick’s email address?

Such an interesting Sunday. Let me go back and begin on Saturday night. Nick and I went out to eat with our friends for the first time in well over a year. The friends and I all have birthdays in December so Nick usually take us all out to our favorite place. All of them have been fully vaccinated and I had my first shot so I felt pretty save.

This place has the best food ever. They have a fantastic salad bar. To go to the salad you had to be masked, of course, and you had to wear gloves, which they provided. In addition to this great salad, I got prime rib you could cut with a fork, a baked potato and cookies and cream cheese cake for dessert (which we brought home to share.) It was great to be out with people again!

 

Sunday morning was peaceful and pleasant. After church (on line) I settled in to answer some emails. Nick and I have been emailing about many of the things I’ve talked about out here. I owed him an email, but I was still thinking about my reply. I’d been about to reply to a friend’s email, where she again urged me to try talking to him face to face. When Nick came to the writing room and said, “Why don’t we talk about these emails?”

So fess up? Which of my sneaky-devil friends emailed this man behind my back? Maybe it was a joint vibe coming from many of you. But there he was, in the flesh and wanting to talk – with voices, not typing. I felt a little panic stricken. But we actually talked, face to face. I did a lot of listening (easier than talking) but I did my share of talking too.

 

We talked about sex, what’s good for us, what our needs are, how we feel about some things, a few things we liked, a few we didn’t – we just talked. We touched on exercise/diet. He’s hesitant, but willing to help. But it’s on me, as it should be, to set realistic goals which may have to do with weight loss, but mostly for more exercising – movement and if I want his help I have to self-report. He won’t be telling me anything about eating or when to walk or anything like that.

 

I was the one who called a halt to everything many months back – I even quit recording my weight weekly, something he’d asked me to do and I’d done for nearly two years. He surprised me when he said, “I think if we are going to work on this together you deserve a spanking for calling a stop to it all before without even discussing it with me.” 

Hmm… 

 

It was a good time to talk. There was no pressure on either of us. Mollie was coming over sometime and so we both knew nothing was going to happen that day. It was just a day for thinking and talking. 

 

He did say one thing that made me laugh. He know I have a ‘punishment fetish’ of sorts. And I’ve often said I didn’t like mixing discipline with sex. But recently we’ve been watching ‘Outlander’ together. I’m assuming we are the last to see it. But Nick told me, loosely quoting Jamie Frazier (so read this with your Scottish accent) “Just because I have to punish you and beat your arse, Sassenach, did not mean I’m not going to enjoy it.” I had to laugh. 

We’re still talking and emailing. We may get this thing somewhat figured out eventually. But for you guys – no more emailing my husband!