Fantasy Friday - Susan's Debut

New story at Cassie today too.

I'm really excited about Fantasy Friday.  I have receive several new stories, two from brand new writers, well brand new to Fantasy Friday anyway. Today's story is just great, it's wonderfully long, so if you don't have time to finish it over breakfast - don't forget to come back.  This is a new friend that does not have a blog (you know, we may need to do something about that), but she is finally indulging in a life long interest. Our writer is Julia, and this is what she has to say about  herself.

I'm a 55 year old grandmother, who has always had BDSM fantasies, but never acted upon them. When you have a wonderful marriage with great sex, a loving husband and fantastic children, it's easy to forget about your urges, because there are so many compensations. But now my marriage is over, my two children have grown up, and my urges have turned into a need. So I finally came out a couple of months ago, to people I love and trust and who understand. This resulted in my introduction to a life style I know is for me, and I found out it's even better than I imagined. At the moment I have no partner, but I'm not giving up hope that I'll find the man and life I want, I'm just taking it easy for now.

Please enjoy...

Susan’s Debut

Susan is travelling to her lover, to spend the weekend with him, and she’s terrified. Not that any of her fellow travelers notice: all they see is a woman in her forties, short dark hair and dark eyes, reading her book and drinking her tea. If her hand shakes, it can be blamed on the movement of the train. Yes, she keeps checking the time, but that’s not unusual, people do that all the time while travelling. No, there’s nothing remarkable about her, not about her appearance, not about her clothing, not about her luggage, and if she is pale, her make-up covers it well.

Another time check, and she starts gathering her things, she puts on her jacket and walks to the door, where she waits, seemingly patient, confident, cool, calm and collected. The doors open and she steps out, one of the few passengers that need to be here, she looks around her to orientate herself. She walks towards the bus stop and looks at the timetable. Yes, this is the correct bus.

A quick phone call: “Hi, Jason, it’s Susan. I’m waiting at the bus stop; I should arrive in 25 minutes or so. See you soon. I love you.” Now her hands definitely are shaking as she puts her phone in her purse and gets her cigarettes out. Susan smokes nervously; she throws her butt in the bin as she sees the bus coming.

She gets in, pays her fare, and sits down in the front of the bus, near the window, her luggage on the chair besides her. She doesn’t dare take her book out, afraid to miss her stop. The bus leaves town, and drives through the countryside, Susan looks at the road signs and bus stops. There: this is it! As the driver announces the stop, she sees Jason, waiting for her.

It only takes her seconds to gather her belongings and get out. A smile, an embrace, kisses, “Hi, sweetheart, I’ve missed you!”

“And I missed you, Susan dear, how was your trip?” Jason seems to be Susan’s age, he’s blond, has blue eyes, a slim build, but has powerful shoulders.

Jason looks at Susan, trust your lover to notice what strangers on a train don’t: “Didn’t you sleep last night? Are you that nervous?”

“Nervous? Me? You could say that again. Oh, Jason, if you weren’t here, waiting for me, I might have taken the next bus back.”

“It’s quite alright, dear, no need to be afraid, I’m here for you and you know I love you.”

“Yes, I know that.” a sigh and a smile, “Lead the way, dear.” And they start walking, Jason carrying the luggage, chatting about the weather, the garden and their evening meal, but not about the coming weekend.

As they enter the house, Jason puts her luggage away, while Susan makes them both a cup of tea. They then snuggle up on the couch, cuddle, kiss and chat. At least, Susan tries to chat, but she finds it hard to talk about nothing in particular, to ignore the elephant in the room. Then Jason leans over and whispers in her ear: “Tonight we’ll be going over the rules and sign the contract.” Susan stops talking. She looks at him, nods, and looks away, while holding on to him, trying to disappear in his embrace.

How has this all happened? How has she found him, the man she adores, the wonderful lover, the person who wants to give her what she is convinced she needs, but always has been afraid to pursue? She thinks back on her marriage, so many years where her yearnings weren’t important, because she felt so well loved. But she’d lost her husband, her partner, her lover, her mate, her rock, and she had to move on. So she did, she learned to cope all by her own, she managed, not happy, but not miserable either, until she met Jason.

It hadn’t been love at first sight, but there was friendship, an easy camaraderie and mutual attraction. They’d become lovers quickly, before even falling in love, and the sex was great: Jason was enthusiastic, passionate, considerate and creative, and Susan was his match. Everything was wonderful: they spent as much time together as they could, called daily, sent each other silly little emails, chatted online, and their love grew. But there was something lacking, even though Susan never dared mention it, afraid Jason wouldn’t understand, so she once again settled for what she had, and that was enough, or should be enough.

Until his email, telling her about his needs. While she read it, she couldn’t believe her eyes: it didn’t seem possible that what Jason wanted was what she needed as well. She kept reading and re-reading the email, coming back to it time and time again, so overwhelmed that she didn’t know what to answer him. Jason became worried: he was afraid that he’d ruined his chances with her, that maybe she was disgusted with him and didn’t want to know him anymore, it had happened before. And just when he sent her another email, asking for an answer, any answer, her email was in his inbox.

“Yes, yes, yes!” she wrote, and “How did you know that’s what I want as well, what I’ve always wanted?”

“You’re serious, aren’t you, you’re not kidding me?” Jason was elated: “Susan, dear Susan: thank you! I’ll call you tonight; we’ll have a long talk.”

And they did, they had several long talks that week, and long emails, asking and answering questions, probing each other. Susan felt challenged, now she had to make decisions, she needed to find out and communicate what she really wanted. What had been a yearning, a fantasy, was now becoming reality, and all of a sudden she was afraid.

Jason lifts her chin, so he can look into her eyes: “What are you thinking, Susan, why aren’t you talking to me anymore? Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Susan blushes, the heat spreading over her cheeks, she can’t remember when that happened last: “I was thinking about this whole last week, and that this weekend it’s all going to start, that we’re … That I … That finally, after all those years, I’ll know what BDSM is, that I’ll find out if it is what I wanted, expected, hoped for. But what if …?”

“If what?”

“What if I find out I’ve always been mistaken, what if I don’t like it, what will happen then? You know already what it is for you, what you like about it, what you want in a partner. But could we still be together if it doesn’t work out between us? Could you still love me then?” Her voice is hurried, she needs to get this out before she loses heart.

"How likely is it that you won't like it? Haven't you wanted this as long as you can remember? That's what you told me, and I believe you. And as for loving you: I loved you before that mail and I love you still. Nothing is going to change that, Susan, nothing! Let's not go borrowing trouble; we can't let fear get in our way." Tears appear in Susan's eyes and Jason kisses them away. "Don't be afraid, my love, I'm here for you, just be here for me, that's all I ask."

"Jason? Could we … I mean, I don't think I want to wait any longer, couldn't we start now?"

"If that's what you want, of course, with pleasure." Jason grins, then he kisses her lips, holding her tightly, before getting up. "Let's go to my study and get started on the papers."

In his study the talking gets more formal: Jason goes through Susan’s tasks for the weekend, the rules for both of them, and the contract, every item is discussed, and agreed upon. It’s not as if there’s anything new here: this has all been talked about before. Finally all that’s left is the signing of the contract, first Jason, and then Susan. Susan hesitates for a moment, afraid as well as excited, but she signs with a flourish, without trembling. Now it will begin in earnest.

“Kneel down, Susan.”

“Yes, Ja ... Yes, Sir. Is this how you want me to do it?” Susan kneels down and looks up at Jason.

“No, Susan, hands behind your back, head down and look at the floor, not at me, unless I tell you otherwise.” His voice is different, more authoritative, stern yet gentle and loving.

“Yes, Sir.” How weird to call Jason Sir, and yet, how appropriate, how right.

As she looks down, she can see the carpet and Jason’s feet, they disappear as he leaves the room. And she waits, feeling lonely without him.

Suddenly she hears his voice behind her: “Lift your head, Susan.”

“Yes, Sir.” The feeling of cool, smooth, braided metal around her neck, a click.

“This will remain there until I remove it again in two days’ time. You can get up now.”

“Yes, Sir.” She gets up and her hands reach for the collar, feeling the surface, the lock, a ring at the back. Jason hands her a mirror:

“Want to look?”

“Yes, please, Sir.” The metal looks alien on her, out of place, and she loves it. “It’s beautiful, Sir.”

“Yes, it is, but never as beautiful as when you’re wearing it.”

“Jaso ... Sir, has anyone worn this before me?”

“No, Susan, never, I bought it especially for you.” She sighs contentedly.

“And now, slave, make me my supper!”

“Yes, Sir, right away.” Jason slaps her on her behind and as she hurries away, they’re both grinning. Susan whistles as she cooks, and even starts singing softly: “Always look on the bright side of life”. Jason helps with setting the table, and as she enters with the food, he pours two glasses of wine, before putting the bottle away.

"No heavy drinking tonight, we both need clear heads now." They sit down and start eating. Jason enjoys his meal, but Susan just picks at it. "What's wrong? Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not very hungry, I've been too nervous to eat all week. Well, I'm sure my appetite will return shortly and it's not as if I couldn't stand to lose a few pounds anyway."

"Are you calling my girl fat?"

"Aw, come on, you know as well as I do that I'm not exactly thin."

"So you are calling my girl fat. I should really punish you for putting my lovely, beautiful slave down." Susan looks at Jason, who seems to be really angry now, and she's shocked.

"Beautiful? You're calling me beautiful? I'm an overweight middle aged woman, and I've never been beautiful."

"That’s enough." Jason pushes his chair back, grabs Susan’s chin, forcing her to look at him, and starts lecturing her: "Never, ever again say things like that. I won't stand for it. You're beautiful, there's nothing wrong with either your age or your weight and I'm going to make sure you understand that."

“But, but ...”

“No buts, you’re the most wonderful woman in the world, looking at you makes me want you, when we walk down the street together the men envy me, you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life, and you’re trying to tell me I don’t see you for who you are. What am I? A fool that doesn’t know what kind of treasure he’s found?”

“Please don’t be angry, Jason, please don’t.”

“Did you just call me Jason, slave?”

“Sir, I mean. Please don’t, Sir, please don’t be angry with me.”

“Oh, my sweet, I’m not angry with you, I’m just angry that you see yourself that way.” Jason pulls Susan on his lap, holding her, kissing her cheeks. “You’re so negative about yourself, and I can’t stand it. I wish you could see yourself as I do. And tonight you’re going to pay for your negativity.”

“Is that a threat or a promise, Sir?”

“You imp!” Jason laughs out loud. “You will find out that I always make good on my word, and I promise you, you won’t like it. Now eat up, it’s going to be a long night.”

“Yes, Sir.” And she tries to eat some more.

After dinner, Susan takes care of the dishes and as she returns to the living room, Jason isn’t there. She wants to call out, to look for him, but decides against it. He’ll let her know if he needs her, so she sits down on the couch and plays with her shiny new collar. “Susan: come here!”

“Yes, Sir, I’m coming.” She wants to run up the stairs, but finds her legs are somewhat unsteady, so she slows down a bit. Jason is standing in the bathroom door. “I’ve run you a bath, you’d better get undressed.” As she enters she sees burning candles and a hot foamy bath waiting for her. “Take all your make-up off as well, I want to see you just the way you are.”

“But …”

“No buts, Susan.”

“No, Sir, I will take it all off.”

As she undresses, Jason looks at her and she feels her hands tremble. He’s seen her naked lots of time, why is she so nervous all of a sudden? She cleans her face quickly and gets into the water. Why can’t she wear any make-up? She needs it, especially at her age; her skin looks old and tired without it! But in Jason’s eyes she sees admiration and pride, he studies her face as if it’s a work of art, a thing of beauty.

He leaves and she luxuriates in the fragrant water, trying to relax, and it’s starting to work. He doesn’t stay away long and as he returns he helps her out and starts toweling her off. She wants to hug him, but he steps back, and she feels hurt, rejected. “Why can’t I hug you? Don’t you want me to touch you?”

“I do, Susan, but it’ll have to wait a bit. You still have punishment coming and it’s starting right now.”

Jason takes her hand and puts her in front of the full-length mirror, before stepping aside himself. “Tell me what you see.”

“I see me, all rosy from that bath.” Susan shrugs and stops speaking.

“Go on, describe to me what it is you see.”

“I see a woman with dark hair, dark eyes, still a pretty decent figure for …”.

“No negatives, Susan. Start again. Describe what you like about yourself.”

“Do I really have to? This is so hard.”

“Yes, you really have to, punishment isn’t meant to be easy, Susan.”

“OK, I’ll try, Sir. My hair is soft and shiny, my eyes sparkle, because I’m with you, my nose gives my face character. My mouth ... I like my smile, and the skin of my face is smooth, I’ve earned all my wrinkles. Uhm … My breasts: I’ve always loved them.” Susan touches every part of her she’s describing. “You’re looking at me and that means my nipples are standing to attention, as they do every time I even think of you. My belly’s wearing the marks of my pregnancies and I certainly earned those. My legs have always been very nice, especially my calves. My hands are nicely shaped; they’re big and strong and know how to caress. And my bum is round and firm. Is this enough, Sir?”

“Just one more thing and you’re done.”

“My skin is nice and soft.”

“That’s it for now, you’ve done well. Just look at yourself a bit longer, and see that wonderful, beautiful woman there. She has lived and you can see it, she knows how to love, how to share.” Susan looks, trying to see what Jason does, and she starts to cry.

Jason takes her into his arms and holds her tight, loving her. “You are so beautiful, my love, my sweet slave, my woman, my very own Susan.”

After a few moments, Jason steps back. “Get dressed and wait for me here, I’ll come and get you shortly.”

“Yes, Sir.” As Jason leaves, Susan washes her face and looks around for the clothes she’d been wearing, but they have disappeared, Jason must have taken them away. She only finds stockings, with suspenders, her black, high heeled shoes, and her robe, so that is what she puts on, she feels indecent and sexy, knowing what is, or rather isn’t, under her robe. She decides she’d better kneel down, so she does, and she waits.

“Are you ready, Susan?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you remember your safe word?”

“Yes, Sir.” Her voice is small, wavering.

“Close your eyes”, and she complies with being blindfolded: now there’s total blackness; she’s not sure she likes it. Jason helps her up. As he leads her to the bedroom she starts hyperventilating, so she concentrates on her breathing: shallow in, forceful out, again, and again, and again, until she calms down a bit. They stand still and Jason disrobes her, his hands are all over her body and she sighs.

“Get on the bed, on hands and knees, facing away from me.”

“Like this, Sir?”

“Yes, that’ll do very nicely, I can reach perfectly.” A swat to her behind confirms this. She hears a click and then: “Let’s warm you up a bit. Keep your head up.” The strands of a flogger caress her buttocks, they disappear and: ouch, that hurts! As the spanking continues, each cheek getting its fair share, Susan concentrates on her breathing and the sensations of the flogging. The heat builds, the pain increases, and she relishes it, she loves every single moment of it, and then it stops. Another flogger is introduced, this one is definitely more painful, but Susan doesn’t mind that a bit. The paddle is a bit of a shock at first, the sensation is so different from the floggers, both feeling and sound, the pain more dull. Jason’s hands are all over her buttocks. “You’ve warmed up nicely. Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“NO!”

“Good. Now, this is going to hurt a bit more.” And it does. It feels like what … leather, could it be a belt? Susan can’t tell and frankly, she’s not interested, she just wants the feeling to continue and doesn’t need to know what Jason is using. She just takes it, all of it, no crying out, no moaning, no flinching, keeping her head up the whole time, just accepting what’s being given to her. And then she feels her tears coming and she sobs. The release is overwhelming, it’s so liberating to let go, to be dominated like this, to surrender to the man she loves.

“Susan, are you crying?” She nods. “Are you still alright?” She’s nodding again. “Want me to go on?”

Yes, yes, she nods, still sobbing, go on, don’t stop.

“Just a bit longer then.” Jason keeps it up, switching implements, altering the speed so she never knows what’s coming. All she knows is that her bum’s on fire; that’s she’s hurting and that she loves it; that her man is giving her what she wants, because he loves her; that she trusts him more than ever before; that she’s his and his alone; that she’s home, because she’s with him and because he beats her. She’s happier than she’s been and years, and she just feels so loved. As Jason uses the paddle again, he starts counting down from thirty, on twenty he switches to the belt, and on ten to a cane, and then it stops, it’s quiet when she hears another click. Now Susan moans, and she wriggles her bottom, asking him to go on without talking. A quick swat to her behind: “It’s not up to you, slave, now behave or you will be standing in the corner for the next half hour.”

“I’ll be good, Sir.”

“You already are good, better than good even.”

“This is enough for a first time, Susan. I’m so proud of you, you’ve taken so much more than I thought possible. Let me turn off the light first.” Jason takes her shoes off and they lie down on the bed together, when he removes her blindfold. The lamps are out, the curtains are drawn, but the light still hurts her eyes. But Jason is here, he’s holding and kissing her, he whispers how much he loves her, that she’s beautiful and courageous and wonderful, and she loves him, and thanks him, and now wants him, wants him more than ever before. She gets on her side, her back to Jason, pulls him close so he can feel what he’s done to her, feel the heat he’s ignited, and not just on her behind, and then she reaches back for his member.

“That is also not up to you: we’ll only have sex if I decide it, missie.”

“Yes, Sir, I’m so sorry. Are you mad at me?” Jason doesn’t speak, but he doesn’t seem mad either, because first he feels for her sex and then enters her from behind. Every time they move, she feels the friction of her bum against his belly, the heat and pain add to her enjoyment, and it’s not long before she climaxes, again and again, and finally Jason comes as well.

Afterwards they have a cigarette and dessert: chocolate cake can be eaten without forks or plates, if you don’t mind a bit of a mess, and it’s especially nice if you love to lick chocolate from your lover’s body. The bottle of wine from dinner is brought up and they have a drink together, then they make love again. Jason shows her the pictures he’s taken of her, before and after the flogging, showing her how beautiful she looks, and now she can almost see what he sees.

Jason’s words at dinner turn out to be right: it gets to be a very long night, and the rest of the weekend is as exhausting, but also extremely satisfying. Still, all too soon it is time to take Susan’s collar off and to shred the contract.

“Do we really need to do that, Sir?”

“Yes, Susan, the weekend is over and the contract was for just these two days. And it’s Jason now: no collar, and no contract, means no Master and no slave.”

“But I don’t want it to end, Jason. I want to be your property, to serve you, to be used by you in any way you see fit, and I want you to beat me.”

“You’re in no fit state to decide that today, dear, you need time to process first. Think about it and let me know on Wednesday. Don’t you pout now: I said Wednesday and I mean it.”

“OK, Jason. What time?”

“What time will you be home tonight?”

“Around eleven.”

“Wednesday night, eleven o’clock, you can email me.”

Her email says: “Yes, yes, yes!”, and the attachment to his answer contains the text for a long term contract.

~o0o~

Julia! That was just great!  Thanks for sending in the story and I hope we will hear more from you.  I hope everyone will help welcome Julia to out little part of blogland.  And should you ever want to blog about your journey, well, you would be most welcomed.

*I just found out Julia does have a blog - which she says is day's old, it's Julia's Debut.  Go by and tell her hello.

If anyone has a story that they are willing to share with us, we'd love it - send your story to elisspeaks@yahoo.com