A question to ponder

Done. Yes there are a few workdays to get through, but in reality, it’s done. I survived. A few more years to go and I can say that for good. 

The question I’ve been pondering is actually on topic for a change. Let me give you a bit of background.  Each day the last week of school was particularly difficult. The boss was being extremely annoying, we were testing, we didn’t get our planning time and I was coming home each day completely wiped out.

One afternoon Mollie needed to go to Wally World and ask me to go along.  I was tired, but I don’t like missing time with her. We were nearly through shopping when she got a text telling her that her little cousin’s baseball game was starting in 15 minutes.  She really wanted to go, but I most definitely didn’t.  I told her to call and see if Nick could meet us over at the field and take me home.  I felt a little ‘dumped’, but I really didn’t mind.

We’re at the field in just a few minutes and I was sure we’d beat Nick.  Mollie and I sat talking for a while and then I got a call from Nick.

“I thought you’d drive back around to where I parked, but you weren’t even looking for me.” He sounded annoyed. 

Now my needle has been fully pointing on ‘pissed as hell’ for nearly two weeks, but I’ve stuffed it down because the family is not who I’m pissed at.

I wasn’t hateful, but I I said, “Sorry we thought we got here first, I didn’t even know which car you were driving.”

“Well you only have two choices,” he answered somewhat sarcastically.

My mood quickly spiked into the pissed as hell mode! But I don’t blow up at my husband. I kept my cool and simply said, “If you’ll drive on around here we can transfer the groceries.”

“I don’t even know where you parked.” He snapped.

All right now there are only about 5 short rows of cars so I answered. “Give it a try, we’ll stand beside the car and with a little effort you’ll recognize us.” And then I hung up.

Normally on the rare occasions when Nick snaps at me I dive behind my walls, raise them to there full height and sit behind them nursing my hurt feelings and muttering mean things about Nick in my head, but I was simply too tired to make the effort. Now if you’re looking for a real knockdown, drag out fight, sorry that’s as wild and hateful as it got.

I really had no reason to be mad at Nick.  And I really wasn’t, but it wasn’t my fault he had had to come out either and I was sure we had beaten him there so I wasn’t looking for him.  Mostly I was just mad because I was tired and frustrated because of work.

We talked very little on the way home and then he pretty much left me alone the rest of the evening.  Isn’t that what most men would do with an angry wife? Trust me spanking was the last thing on my mind, as I’m sure it was with Nick. But later I began to wonder.  What would have happened if Nick had decided at that time to spank me?

That’s when I began to ponder. How would I have reacted if Nick had brought me in and given me a real spanking – for snapping at him and hanging up or maybe just for letting work creep over into my real life enough to ruin our evening.  Now I know a couple of ‘love taps’ would have pissed me off further, but a real spank, one that I didn’t expect, didn’t want, one that really hurt.  How would I have reacted? I have no idea.

I have a vague fantasy of being forcible spanked.  Usually I’m most willing so it would have to be when I’m truly mad about something.  I like the idea of struggling and telling him to stop! Telling him I’m not in the mood to play, only to have him keep on as I gradually realize he’s not playing either. I fantasies about finally crying during a spanking and calling him names and just releasing so much penned up emotion and then to have him hold me when it’s over as I sort out my feelings.

This is not a request for this to happen; it’s certainly not a complaint against Nick. It’s truly just a scenario that intrigues me and one I doubt I’ll ever experience.  I do know I wouldn’t hold it against Nick.  I mean if he tried it and I really didn’t like it in any way, shape or form then in a calmer time I’d tell him or email him letting him know that I’d rather him not do that again, that it didn’t work for me. But I wouldn’t hold it against him for trying. And what if it did work, what it he’d tried it and it really did snap the mood, stress, hateful feeling I had to live with for weeks, food for thought.

I know many of my friends out there don’t do any kind of discipline.  What do you all think?  How would you react if your guy really spanked you when you were in a bad mood?  Do you think it would be enough of a shock to break your mood or would he draw back a nub?