I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, May 01, 2013

My intriguing email from Nick


I told you weekend before last, that Nick sent me a very intriguing email. I want to tell you a little more about it. But first, just in case you are a new reader I need to tell you a little about my husband. He’s nearly perfect. If I were to list all the things he does for me most of you would simply think I was exaggerating.

When I first came out to Nick, and asked that spanking become part of our relationship, he was surprised, confused as to why I would want it, yet still an enthusiastic participant. In other words, Nick gives me nearly everything I want and need.  He asks very little in return.  But is does want one thing and it seems to be very hard for me to do.

All Nick has really asked for is that I initiate sex more often, rather than always wait for him.  I’ve blogged about this before. It shouldn’t be hard!  But it is for some reason. I’m guessing it’s a little bit about my eternal beliefs about what ‘good girls’ are supposed to do and not do, left over from the time I grew up. But more than this, I think it’s really more about always wanting Nick to be in charge in the bedroom.  In my mind this is so hot!

Nick, my smart husband, is working to see that we both get what we want.  This was part of his email,

I hear you do much better following directions rather than “suggestions”.

Although you have been largely responsible for many of the general improvements in our relationship, I have suggested that you initiate play times more often.  I don’t think you have embraced these suggestions fully.

Here are your new marching orders:

You will be responsible for planning and initiating activities during the first week end each month. This will be accomplished by first acknowledging the occasion, and then giving details of what is to happen.

Some possible approaches:

And then he went on to give some excellent suggestion, some catering just to him; other’s where I ask for pampering for me.  Some were all afternoon events, while some were very simple and low key.  He was really telling me that what ever I plan is fine with him.  He concluded,

You can see that there is a lot of latitude for attitude.  Might require a little role playing at times, possibly taking you out of your comfort zone.

I was happy with all of this except for the last five words. LOL, it’s called a ‘comfort zone’ for a reason!  Why would one ever want to leave?  I know, I know, he left his when he began spanking so I’m willing, really.

I sent him back,

Sounds interesting.  I was going to say I'll do my best, but after rereading this I think I'll just say 'Yes, Sir!'  Love you.

His reply,

Sounds like an appropriate answer.

Nick seems to have come up with a way for both of us to be happy and get what we want. By giving me this ‘rule’ (I love that word) he is obviously in charge.  By me following this rule, he gets what he wants too. Nick’s asked for this before – I try for a while and then seem to slack off.  He needs to tell me again. I guess the same could be said for my constant need for spanking.

Its great to have a husband who wants to keep the fun and excitement in our marriage as much as I do.  I bet there are many, many couples that can't say that after this many years. I'll say it again, Nick's nearly as perfect as husbands get.

59 comments:

  1. PK, that is wonderful. He approached this in such the perfect way. It is a win win situation for everyone. :-) So happy for you. Love, Terps

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terps,
      Just knowing he was interested enough to send the emails is a little exciting.

      Delete
  2. I understand what you mean, to initiate sex turns me off like nothing else :(
    Nick's idea is great!
    Have fun ;)
    V.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Viola,
      It's not so much a turn off for me as not a turn on. Maybe I can change that.

      Delete
  3. What a smart man! He made it a rule! You are getting what you need and so is he. What could be better? Oh yea, that afternoon of spanking sex fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Minelle,
      He is smart! It does open up so many possibilities.

      Delete
  4. I love that he made it a rule! This is wonderful PK. How great to have a husband who wants to keep the fun and excitement in the marriage indeed! I too bet there aren't many couples who can say that.

    What a smart man. A win-win for both of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz,
      Thats the best part - he cares about making the marriage better, and after all these years.

      Delete
  5. Your right you married the most perfect man for you.
    How cool idit that he thought of a way to make both of you happy?
    Now don't forget the fine details or there could be a spanking in your future. Hmmm maybe you should strach that last idea WEG
    Have fun planning for your new rule

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob,
      He and I found each other a little late, but it was worth the wait. I may have to do a post asking for further suggestions.

      Delete
  6. He gets it and he is smart enough to make it work for both of you! And that comfort zone....could be lots of sun out side of it.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abby,
      I guess over the years that comfort zone has expanded, and that's a good thing.

      Delete
  7. PK,
    by the time that I finished reading this, I was wearing a big smile.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good Paul, you are a true friend.

      Delete
  8. Oh, PK, you're lucky woman.
    What suggestions, I mean rule! ... WOW!
    I like your Nick more and more. He seems like a smart man. Enjoy both the new rule and NIck, PK, then we want know .. more ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mona,
      Nick is so great. Hmmm... telling more, another comfort zone push. LOL!

      Delete
  9. I love your 'rule' sounds like you're going to have a great deal of fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DelFonte,
      There sure is potential there!

      Delete
  10. What a great way for both of you to get your needs met. Have fun following your new rule :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Faerie,
      I do plan to have fun and expand my thoughts.

      Delete
  11. Oh, that sound fun. What a clever man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meg,
      And with no pushing from me, that's really great.

      Delete
  12. Glad you changed your answer to "yes Sir“. The part with "sounds interesting, l"ll do my best", would never do.

    I thoroughly like Nick, but watch out, next time he'll be giving orders about cooking and washing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bas,
      Yes sir just seemed like the only proper answer. Cooking and cleaning? I'll step out of my comfort zone, but I'm not going to abandon it completely!

      Delete
  13. Doing my happy dance for you PK. You have a very smart man! Enjoy, you lucky lady!

    Blessings,
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Cat! He is a really special guy. I plan to enjoy.

      Delete
  14. I have one of those husbands too. We are lucky ladies.l He is such a clever man. Don't forget, this weekend is the first weekend of the month - your turn. It's Cinco de Maio so spice it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunny,
      I'm beginning to realize husbands get better the longer you keep them. Cinco de Maio, hmm... hot sauce maybe?

      Delete
  15. Before you know it, you'll realize you haven't stepped outside your comfort zone, just expanded it.
    Enjoy....
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      That's a good way to think of it. I suppose that's what life's all about.

      Delete
  16. SG beat me to it. Your first weekend of the month. Fun times.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ronnie,
      I do have a lot of ideas swirling in my head.

      Delete
  17. PK, this was such a fabulous post, and thanks to Nick for giving you these particular "marching orders." what a fabulous find you have there. i feel the same way about mine. it can sometimes drive me CRAZY at how wonderful he is. sigh.

    like you, i rarely initiate play times, but i can completely relate to what you're saying about good girls etc. my husband and i were virgins (and terribly young) when we married and you go from NOT being allowed to do anything and then a twenty minute ceremony, to now give him sex every minute, all day long. LOL lord have mercy. but you get the point. this is a good lesson for me too, because i can certainly grow in this area as well! maybe i'll mention this to my hubby and we can have some new adventures as well? :)

    i can't wait to hear how this weekend goes....good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maryanne,
      I know my Mom didn't try to make me feel bad about sex she was just sharing what she believed, what her mom told her - and her mom was born in 1880! I guess I don't really mind trying to initiate more, but I never really think about it. This is going to make me think about it.

      Delete
  18. That sounds very exciting!

    Have fun,
    ~Kristen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristen,
      I hope it will be.

      Delete
  19. Ohh, I have trouble initiating 'play' too. This way sounds great

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Janey,
      It's a good time to start thinking of ideas, and feel free to share.

      Delete
  20. I love it. Perfect! For me, it would still have to be baby steps since I, like you, have a little issue with initiating things. We were in a marriage encounter group and one couple shared their story about how when the wife wanted sex, she would put on a certain song. It was a good start. Try role play, sometimes it's easier for me that way. Just make sure you obey your husband and do this for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blondie,
      He was so good in his suggestions that it doesn't have to be anything wild - but it can be. I role play in my head all the time, but I never through he wanted to, or would be good at it in real life.

      Delete
  21. Fabulous! Atta girl! Nick is a lovely man!

    Hugs

    Ami

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ami,
      He is a real doll.

      Delete
  22. Hi PK, What Ami said!!!
    love Jan. xx

    ReplyDelete
  23. Talk about a win/win situation, way to go Nick!

    George...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. George,
      I think he did a great job.

      Delete
  24. What a fun rule! Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TL,
      I think it's going to be fun too.

      Delete
  25. So glad that you wrote this post. This is Will's biggest concern - me initiating. I am always open and available and on the freaky side ;) and have told him that he can have me anytime.

    That's not enough. He wants me to be able to say, "I want you." Sigh...for many reasons that is so difficult for me - fear of rejection being #1. Which makes little sense.

    So...I am sharing this post with him. Thank you for writing this. I love what Nick did here - and my bet is that you do and will love it too!

    Elisa Xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elisa,
      I'm just glad to know I'm not alone in finding it difficult to do. And no, it doesn't make sense sometimes, as long as we've been together it should be so easy. I'd be interested in hearing what Will's response will be.

      Delete
  26. What a wonderful idea he came up with. Have fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tiffany,
      The man does have good ideas.

      Delete
  27. Ohhhh I really love that. How very very very clever of him!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Conina,
      He's one of the smartest fellows I know.

      Delete
  28. What a brilliant compromise very well done nick

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kiwi,
      It should work for both of us.

      Delete
  29. PK: I am so happy for you. He is meeting both of your needs in a very clever way. I see some hot weekends in your future.

    FD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FD,
      He's done beautifully on his part, hope I can live up to my side. And yes it could lead to some hot weekends.

      Delete
  30. Yikes, you have your marching orders, get to it PK!
    Sounds like a very creative man you have there. :)
    Enjoy!
    hugs and love
    lillie

    ReplyDelete