Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I while back I told my friend Lori that I had to go work on my assignment for Nick and that I would explain later. I forgot so I thought I would tell her about it in this post. For those of you who know about my assignment feel free to talk among yourselves instead of reading here.
All this began after I had a really, really rough evening. There was nothing wrong, not anything specific anyway. I just got overwhelmed and very insecure. Did Nick really want to do all this? Was he only doing it to please me? Was he getting tired of my seemingly one tract mind? Eva’s advice was driving me nuts!! “Talk to him, talk to him!” She was like a broken record! I didn’t do things like that! Talk to my husband about thing that really bothered me – get real!
But that night after a crying jag in bed and some painful talking (nothing really bad or earth shattering) but talking was still very hard for me. We did talk and our evening ended with two good outcomes. I found out that Nick did not want me to retreat back to the way I had been before. In the past I pretty much shut him out of all of my thoughts. And the second thing was that he gave me an assignment. I was to write him once a week with what I was feeling – good, bad, serious, silly, things that worried me, things I wanted to try – anything and everything!
This has been one of the best things he has ever done for me! I have missed a week or two and have gotten spanked for missing it. It took me a while before I could begin to grasp the idea that he really did want to know want I was thinking. Now he doesn’t always know what to do with the information and I know I still confuse him sometime but this is a big help for me.
My assignments are mostly a forum where I discuss sex, spanking and possible experimentation but we can talk about any aspect of our lives. I love it when he comments on the assignment. Nick is not a big talker. This communication thing is tough on both of us! But the assignments are really helping us. I like knowing I have been heard.
I still have problems, and probably always will, telling Nick when something is upsetting or bothering me. But at least I have a time and a place to tell him things when know I need to. I love him for insisting on the assignment!