I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

My assignments

I while back I told my friend Lori that I had to go work on my assignment for Nick and that I would explain later. I forgot so I thought I would tell her about it in this post. For those of you who know about my assignment feel free to talk among yourselves instead of reading here.

All this began after I had a really, really rough evening. There was nothing wrong, not anything specific anyway. I just got overwhelmed and very insecure. Did Nick really want to do all this? Was he only doing it to please me? Was he getting tired of my seemingly one tract mind? Eva’s advice was driving me nuts!! “Talk to him, talk to him!” She was like a broken record! I didn’t do things like that! Talk to my husband about thing that really bothered me – get real!

But that night after a crying jag in bed and some painful talking (nothing really bad or earth shattering) but talking was still very hard for me. We did talk and our evening ended with two good outcomes. I found out that Nick did not want me to retreat back to the way I had been before. In the past I pretty much shut him out of all of my thoughts. And the second thing was that he gave me an assignment. I was to write him once a week with what I was feeling – good, bad, serious, silly, things that worried me, things I wanted to try – anything and everything!

This has been one of the best things he has ever done for me! I have missed a week or two and have gotten spanked for missing it. It took me a while before I could begin to grasp the idea that he really did want to know want I was thinking. Now he doesn’t always know what to do with the information and I know I still confuse him sometime but this is a big help for me.

My assignments are mostly a forum where I discuss sex, spanking and possible experimentation but we can talk about any aspect of our lives. I love it when he comments on the assignment. Nick is not a big talker. This communication thing is tough on both of us! But the assignments are really helping us. I like knowing I have been heard.

I still have problems, and probably always will, telling Nick when something is upsetting or bothering me. But at least I have a time and a place to tell him things when know I need to. I love him for insisting on the assignment!


  1. Thank you PK for that explanation and what a GREAT idea. Part of the reason I wanted to start my blog was so Joe would read some things we may not talk about. It's wonderful that your husband thought of this idea and that he insists on it you completing it each week. I love it!

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  3. That is a great idea. :) Thank you for sharing this on your blog - I'm sure there are several of us who feel this might work for our relationships.

  4. Anonymous2:26 AM

    PK, what a wonderful thing this is. For some of us it is easier to write what we feel and need. You and Nick are really getting things worked out. Well done and a great idea too.


  5. PK, so glad to hear that it's working, mind you I never doubted that it would.
    Now you need Nick to reciprocate, communication is a two way street.
    HoH isn't necessarily an easy job and those who say it is are talking through their hat.
    Love/friendship, trust and communication, these are the ingredients that make a partnership work, whether vanilla or spanko.
    Love and warm hugs,

  6. I might try this as well. David reads but doesn't always talk..

  7. Communication is so important and one of the things in addition to the wonderful sensations and bonding from spankings I hope for is that communication that can arise from it and lead to other aspects of our lives as well. Thank-you. I think writing like this would be a very useful tool for both myself and my husband -both who have a difficult time sharing feelings... Best wishes, Terpshichore :-)

  8. PK I am with Paul, so glad this is working for you. I mean think of where you were two years ago and where you are now! It's great.

    So you going to participate on the research group??? You guess they know you are a spanko blogger!


  9. Pk, I have had 11 e-mails at work today about this. Mthc and I are going to do it. Heaven help me I come home with a pocket full of post it notes just to remember things. Now I must carry a lttle journal and write down what I want to talk to her about and she will do the same.

    Just so you know our kitty Pk was trying to type on the keyboard while I wrote this. Yes you have a name sake and she is one pissed kitty if you ignore her. Yes she likes her little butt rubbed.

    *hugs and grins*

  10. So how was your day? What did you do? What was for lunch? How was the weather?....

    Oh, since I already knew about the assignment, I was talking amongst myself, but things got weird when I started answering myself.

    Back to the topic! I love this idea. I'm so glad that you found a great way to communicate with Nick. Bossman and I seem to have forgotten how to communicate, as there are things I really want to tell him. Thanks for reminding me about this great idea!


  11. Lori,
    For me the fact that Nick insist on it is what is so special to me.

    I think all married couples could use this.

    I can write soooooo much more than I could say to him.

    You are right and I have love many of the responses he has sent me. It does have to go both ways.

    Nick is making great use of his reading time though!!! What an afternoon we had!!! I will be telling about it soon.

    We talk a lot about spanking here but learning to communicate about all things is important.

    Two years ago I don't want to think about! It wasn't bad but now is just so wonderful!!!

    I filled out the survey!

    David, LOL!
    I know about kitties on key boards.

    I just make my notes on the computer. But trust me David it really does work and I love doing it.

    Two words. Write Bossman!!