I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, July 02, 2018

Now about my third husband...

In Friday's post, I told you about two of the personalities dwelling within my husband, Nick and Spanky. Today I’ll tell you of the third. I’m not as fond of this one as I am the other two. This one often annoy me.

We’ll call this guy Obie, for oblivious. I'm a spanko. Through and through from birth. I want some realism in TTWD. I crave it.  But none of the three aspects of my sweet husband understands this in the least. 

I read carefully on other blogs to see reasons why other husbands spank, not counting sexy or just for the fun
of it spankings. Mostly it seems to be for momentary lack of respect  for their HOH - bossing him around , talking over him, back seat driving, not letting him lead, not listening and being generally snotty. 

Well, guys, I don’t do any of those things. No, I’m not a saint it’s just easier for me to go silent, thinking ‘whatever’ rather than to argue. But occasionally I do things that I bet any HOH out here would have me marching straight to the bedroom for a sound spanking. But not Obie. He never even seems to think of it.

My example, Nick has asked me to turn on the pool pump each morning. We need to run in long enough each day to keep the pool clean, but not 24/7. I can’t seem to remember to turn it on. I forgot three days last week. On the third day he asked,  ‘Is the pump on?’ I told him I was so sorry, I’d forgotten again. Each time I’d say ‘I’ll run turn it on right now.’ But by then he’d just give me a slightly annoyed, slightly disappointed look and be halfway down the stairs to do it himself.

I love that he’s not picky and punitive about every little thing, but if I’d been the HOH, it would have gone something like this, after my hiney was bare and bent over the bed.

“I’ve asked you to do something simple and easy to do. I can understand your forgetting one day – but three days in a row? You could have put an alarm on your phone or you could have just remembered I asked you to do it. I’m betting you’re going to remember after this or your backside’s going to wish you had.”

I bet I would have remembered too! Like Ella said in her post the other day when she spoke about the connection ‘between the brain and the bottom.’ 

But ‘this thing we do’ never once occurred to Obie. I even waited a few days before writing this because he was busy that night. I wondered if he’d think to spank for it later. But no. He never seemed to think about it again.

Some of you might be thinking that I could have pointed this out to him and he would quite possible have spanked. But once again, that would have put me in control. It’s the control I’m trying to lose.

I think I’ve remembered to do it the last few days because I was thinking about writing this post. To the best of my knowledge Nick has never spanked me about anything that really annoyed him. It what makes me know he only views TTWD as a game. When he’s talking about laundry or teasing about little things he’ll spank. But when it’s something like being lazy and forgetful of something important or he’s really mad at me about something, spanking never seems to enter his mind. 

I’m not saying I'm anxious to have an angry husband grab me up and spank me, though I would submit. I don't think I'd have to worry for one minute about this happening often with Nick. But I do wish he wouldn’t be so oblivious to legitimate reasons to spank.



21 comments:

  1. PK, I feel your frustration. I just want to encourage you to keep talking to him. I know you've probably done a ton of talking already, but keep doing it. Keep telling him that you NEED this. I understand the not wanting to control. Do you think it would help him at all if you kept a daily diary of where you do tell on yourself ..... and then have him read it like once a week .... and then he could see what he has missed.... but then he could decide which things you should be spanked for? So plan a spanking once a week on say Friday night so that you both know it's coming. All week, keep track of your infractions. Friday morning, have him read it...... and then he decides what you're going to be spanked for that evening. Just a thought. Hang in there. More of us struggle with similar issues than any of us know. Windy

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    1. We tried something like this before. It's a good idea, but it never really worked for what I needed. By the time he was ready to 'clear the list' he was mostly in a happy teasing mood. I wish occasionally if something bugged him he would just HANDLE it in the moment.

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    2. Okay, so how about when he is ready to "clear the list" and is all in a happy mood.... say something that immediately pisses him off. LOL! Horrible ttwd advice, I know! LOL

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    3. Girl, I do like your style!

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  2. Seems like a good plan from Windy. A weekly accounting during a scheduled maintenance session might help.

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    1. See my answer above. We tried maintenance for a while but it never felt right to either of us.

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  3. Hi Pk, Are we married to the same man I wonder? Just saying......
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Maybe that's why Nick gets up in the middle of the night... We should look into this!

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  4. Hi PK,

    I'm with Windy also. We used to do what she has suggested some years ago, only in our case it was usually a case of Rick telling me to put each infraction/incident in the book.

    Keep talking to Nick, maybe ask him to read this post.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I think I'm like a puppy - if it's not disciplined at once it sorta loses it's effectiveness. Well, I asked Nick a while ago to read my posts. I think sometimes he does, but if he doesn't I'm not going to try to push him into it.

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  5. Anonymous7:04 AM

    PK,
    Discipline has to also be fun and usually ‘spontaneous’ for the lack of a better word. It may be promised later for some deed, but the fun is often how it looms up out of nowhere at least it is for me. And it’s probably better Nick spanks on his own terms and not out of fierce anger. My wife lets many things go; lots of things because I’m imperfect. I was going to run some errands one morning and she told me to come back into the house for a light paddling because I forgot something and it effected others errands, which now took longer. So I took care of errands with a little tenderness lol. A review of things is not a bad idea if it works for you. But keep it fun and intimate. JL

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    1. I think this sounds really nice for you and probably many others. But ALL my spankings are fun and playful. Once in a while I'd like something that emotionally felt more real. Thanks for coming by.

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    2. Anonymous11:20 AM

      PK,
      Understood. I’d say discipline for me is fun and never given in anger. My wife often teases me with some reason for a spanking, but it is fun. She recently didn’t want me to mow the lawn in the fierce heat we’ve been experiencing, and when I sort of insisted on it she told me if I tried she’d fix my wagon and seat of our riding mover would not be a comfortable place to sit. I postponed that chore. But I see your point. Have a nice summer and thank you for commenting. JL

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  6. I love Jan's comment. We have the same situation here. I give him lots of reasons and he says, "Oh, you were probably busy and forgot." What?! I tried so hard to do something he could use and then he's all forgiving. What's that about? I already printed it and he just read it. He loves the name Obie and he immediately saw how it applies to him! He's going to keep it! I'll let you know how it works. Thanks again. You guys have helped me a couple times recently. I loved the emails last week!
    Rosie Dee

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    1. I think that's great! I'm so glad he 'got it.' Wonder if Nick will or if he'll even read it.

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  7. I think that Jan's husband, Nick and Ray are all brothers from different mothers. Ray gets annoyed and angry at other things but when it comes to spanking me for it, it never enters his mind. Believe me, I've tried many times.
    I still wouldn't trade him in.

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    1. I do NOT get it! They KNOW we want it, need it and it makes us happy. There for making them happier - how can they all be such Obies?

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  8. Love the name Obie, that really works. Lately Ty, has been kind of lacking on the spankings. I don't give him a lot of reasons but when there is one, I want the spanking but like you, I don't want the control.

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    1. I think many of us need to switch roles for a few weeks to give them good role models. Actually I'd make a lousy dom, but I still know how I want it done.

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  9. I get it...I truly do...as all three of my husbands could be called "Obie" (though I love him still). So since I can't give you any advice or get your husband to spank you any more than I can get my own to spank me...I will give you this advice instead - we have our pool on a timer so it turns on for several hours during the day and then turns off at night - might not help with the spankings but could help with the remembering :-) Big hugs

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    1. I think that's a wonderful idea. Now to convince one of my husbands to install it.

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