I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

TBT - You can’t mean you're not going to be naked at your own wedding!

Let me take a guess and say that most of my readers haven't read all my posts. Sometimes I glance back through some of the old one and repost it here as a Throw Back Thursday. I hope you'll like this one from November, 2009.


Do you ever worry about someone finding out about your spanko side? I know most of us worry at least a little. And I know for some the idea is extremely frightening. It was scary for me at first. I've changed a lot over the years I’ve been here. In real life I have told one close friend and my sister. Both of them had the same reaction – surprise, amusement, total acceptance and underlying it all a complete lack of understanding of what spanking really means in my life. And that’s fine. I don’t care if they understand all the underlying thought on submission and dominance. They just know I enjoy being spanked, and that I also enjoy the ability to open up to Nick and have him accepting my kink. It has made us a much happier couple.

I’m never planning to share with my kids – at least while they are kids. Of course LJ is 21. I have no reason or plans to tell him but if he found out I believe that for the 30 seconds or less he actually thought about it (that’s about as long as he thinks about anything unless I wrote it up as a play) he would be amused. Now Mollie on the other hand would probably be mortified, about the spanking and equally about the fact we still have sex at all. No one on my side of the family would care and where Nick’s family would probably be embarrassed if they found out I know them well enough to be sure that they would never say a word to us. (They both know what I write now and I was correct that LJ  could care less and Mollie finds it's slighting embarrassing, but she's not horrified and is willing to help me with the books at time.)

If I was found out at work I would certainly have to take the blog private and that would be sad. I don’t think I would lose my job after all these years. And the reason I think I would keep my job is because there is nothing wrong with this thing we do!

I look back in my blog and I can’t find one thing shocking in it. I have always been proud of a post I did that first year saying that we should not have to hide our kink, you can read it here if you are interested. All I’ve ever said is that I believe in consensual adult spanking. That I think it is sexy and that it makes me feel safe and protected. I have been married to the same man for 26 years and we have an active sex life that includes spanking. Sorry, I can’t see anything wrong with any of this.

So while I know we don’t want to be found out I sure hope no one is ashamed of TTWD. Letting the spanko side of me out is the best thing I have ever done. It turned a hum-drum marriage into a strong, loving bond. It changed me from dreading sex to really looking forward to the time we can get the house alone. I am a much, much happier person. Being happier make me a better teacher, a better wife and a better mother.  I wish our lifestyle could be discussed in the opened. Not to try to talk others into it but to encourage those who know that they have these tendencies to accept themselves and embrace what so many of us know works!

So what would I say if my ‘secret’ was to be discovered and I was confronted with it? Well, I remember an old episode from Star Trek, the Next Generation. In this show a woman from another planet was getting ready to marry a man from Earth, a rather conservative man. Her grow daughter had her doubts because of their differences. The final straw came when the mother showed her daughter her wedding dress. In total shock the daughter looked at her mother in and asked in an incredulous voice “Mother! You can’t mean you're not going to be naked at your own wedding!”The actress was so good at delivering that line I found myself shocked that the bride to be would be wearing clothes.

So if anyone should ever say to me ‘You don’t mean your husband spanks you?!” I’ll look at them with shock and concern and say “Of course he does! Doesn’t yours?

20 comments:

  1. Hi PK, a great post. I agree with it totally!
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Maybe our time will come.

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  2. As it turned out in the episode on Star Trek, the bride and every one in the wedding were naked at the end.

    It would be nice if being spanked and spanking were accepted instead of being lumped in with abuse and labeled as deviant kink.

    If you're happy and you know it
    you've been spanked
    If you're happy and you know it
    you've been whacked
    If you're happy and you know it
    then your bottom will really show it
    If you're happy and you know it
    you've been spanked

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    1. LOL, I wondered if anyone else would remember that. It's more accepted now, but we're not totally out in the open.

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  3. Totally agree with you PK. We shouldn't feel ashamed about our lifestyle and TTWD. Its the glue that keeps us all happily together. Just wish more people lived like us and it was freely talked about.
    Hugs Lindy

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    1. It's sad that we know a secret that could help many, but we can't discuss it with them.

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  4. PK, I enjoyed this peek back in time. I didn't know you back in 2009, but it gives me a fresh perspective. I also agree. It would be nice for this type of relationship to be accepted. I actually see some couples and think, "I wish you had this gift. You would be a lot happier."

    Thoughts From Ella

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    1. I have tons of old stuff - ten years worth! Do you ever see couples and wonder if they indulge...

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  5. You mean this isn't common place? I always thought it was! Wow. I'm shocked.

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    1. Nope you're the only one doing it.

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  6. I have often pondered this.....what would my mama say if she found out.....what would my sister say! I actually came close to telling my sister one time but didn't. I am definitely not ashamed of my desires but I often wonder what my family would do if they found out. Now my new man? He knows I like kinky stuff but I haven't opened all the way up about everything.....yet! I actually wrote about it last night.....though it made zero sense whatsoever! Hahaha. Anyways great post and thanks for sharing!

    HG:)

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    1. I think it's probably best if you do tell family that you let them see it as just spanky fun and games. Now your fellow, he may need to eventually know more.

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  7. I don't worry about being outed but I'd rather keep it under wraps in real life, it's easier that way.
    Rosie xx

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    1. I'm with you. I don't shout it from the roof top, but I don't worry much either.

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  8. PK
    I loved reading this oldie but goodie. Thank you for sharing.
    Meredith

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    1. I like to look back every now and then.

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  9. Someone in my family found out recently. Or well I think she did. I was sending an erotic picture to my Sir and she walked past double took and I knew she had seen it. I didn't adress it I felt I had nothing to be ashamed of I was proud but a little embrassased. If she brought it up to me I would have chatted happily about it. She didn't and remained normal with me :)

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    1. You were right, nothing wrong with it and no one else's business. It's easier to answer questions than to just start a conversation about our lives.

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  10. This was a great post. It makes me want to go back to read more of the oldies. Love the last paragraph.

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    1. I guess the first two years I posted nearly every day. There's lots of stuff back there to dig around in.

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