Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Oh, Dr. Phil… Update

Dr. Phil write up - I spanked my wife… And the the show on Thursday is supposed to be about spanking too.

I’ve been discussing spanking for over eight years now. We all talk about it here in our very special, supportive community. We discuss submission – and that it’s a gift we give our significant other. It’s not something they can demand, but something we may choose to give freely. In exchange, that person we chose to bestow this gift upon, loves us, cares for us and puts us at the top of their list in life.

Completely with our consent, and often our insistence, they they spank us for many reasons – erotic, stress relief, maintenance, discipline, reconnection, to make us feel cared for and loved, and very often simply because we ask them to. We know what we need even if we can’t always explain it even to ourselves. We just know. And our HOH – often without understanding all parts of TTWD, indulge us. 

We can’t go out in the real world and discuss this in a serious forum. I’ve always wanted to be able to go on a serious talk show like Oprah’s old show and explain out ‘side’ of the story. But out in the world no one is going to see it as anything but abuse and they would tell us we are crazy and brainwashed, sigh…  even those of us who have desired this all of our lives and many of us have to nearly twist our guy’s arms to get them to give us what we want.

Doctor Phil is running a show tomorrow (Wednesday) that’s going to mention spanking. But they have picked (from what I can tell from the commercials) a true abuser who happens to abuse his wife by spanking her. It has nothing to do with us at all, thought I’m sure we’ll all be painted with the same brush. It would just be so nice if just once we could get someone to listen to what we are really saying about TTWD. But I don’t see it happening.

I’m going to watch the show and if you do I’d love to hear your opinions. But, Dr. Phil, there are so many of us out here that are sane and have given this such thought, couldn’t you at least talk to one of us someday?

Written by PK at 8:00 PM

32 comments

32 Comments:

At 12:20 AM, Blogger Cat said...

Oh good gravy...I'll try to tune it tomorrow but since it's on Dr. Phil, I'm betting it actually is abuse...not consensual. :( Even if it is consensual, I can just hear Dr. Phil condemning the man and telling the woman how he will provide counseling and help her leave an abusive relationship. *sigh*

Hugs and Blessings...
Cat

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger Erica said...

He did talk to one of us... me. I was a caller on his show many years ago, talking about consensual adult spanking and asking what he thought of it. He totally dropped the ball and tried to make me look like a perv or a weirdo, but I had the last word. :-) The guy is a pompous ass.

 
At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I normally don't comment but had to on this one. I was actually in the audience for this show. What this guy does is not at all, even remotely close to what DD is about. He makes a complete fool of himself. I cringed listening to him. To me DD is founded on consent, respect, and love. It will be interesting to see if you all think his marriage has any of that.

 
At 2:30 AM, Blogger submanhub said...

How does Dr Phil get these people. Like who would go on the show to get beaten up by Dr Phil. My suspicion is that it is a bit of an act. The fellow acts a bit more one way and the woman a bit more the other. Else if she has the guts to go on the show then it sounds to me like is could leave if she wanted to.

On the consent thing - you know I wonder about that. I would love my wife to whip me and physically punish me but I wonder if after a year or so whether I would be mentally in a position to say "no more". My bed is that the roles would have been cemented such that I would not be able to say it and I suspect she would find it hard to hear it.

 
At 6:26 AM, Blogger PK said...

For sure - he would not show a consensual relationship with normal people. That's all a would like to see a sane, reasonable discussion - it's not like we recruiting, just helping other like us to see that it can be positive and beneficial.

 
At 6:28 AM, Blogger PK said...

I'm sorry he made you feel that way - but I have to admit, I'd like my crack at him. I'd only be speaking for those of us who WANT this type of relationship. I'm sure he would never agree with me, but I still want the chance.

 
At 6:30 AM, Blogger PK said...

I can already see from the commercials that the man is an abusive fool. Dr. Phil would never want spanking discussed by a couple who have given it thought and have agreed to have a DD relationship for it's benefits.

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger PK said...

You may be right about the act. On the consent thing, I know many couples where consent has been withdrawn - either permanently or for a time. For me the whole DD idea requires tons and tons of talking and deciding together if you are both still comfortable and that your relationship is heading in a good direction. Unfortunately I'm not in a DD relationship, I'd like to be but ours remains stuck in a slap and tickle game. But I really believe I understand the concept well.

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith said...

Never watch Dr Phil but I'll see if I can find him and tune in.

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

I've never heard of your Dr Phil. He sounds stupid - but then, TV these days has to be sensational or the numbers go down.

It would be lovely to have a proper debate/chat show about the spanking dynamic with BOTH sides represented properly (not just people who are out of work and who need an afternoon's entertainment) by the main 'groups' who make up our community, plus the people who are 'against' such as feminists and people who mistakenly think it's abuse.

Let us in the UK know what happens on the show, please.

Hugs
Ami

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Faerie Wings said...

I've seen those commercials and will be watching it. Though I suspect it is going to just piss me off because the man does come off as an abuser and that it isn't a consensual thing.

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Katie said...

You know, PK, it is all about sensationalism! And that really stinks!! They want the most viewers, and sadly they cater to a certain audience. It is a shame.

I never would have thought it, and how true that most people would not understand it, but this is all about nothing more than a different way to love completely and differently. The only thing is, in the wrong hands... Sadly, those people are out there...

I too hope that some day this all can come to light in the positive manner that it really is. One can only hope! I will look for it on tv. But I may also turn it off as fast as I tune in. Many hugs,

<3 Katie

 
At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On this particular show I know one of the spouses called in. I believe it was the wife. You will see in the show that the husband absolutely believes he was in the right, definitely not acting. I certainly disagreed with this man however I couldn't quite believe the wife 100%. I believe hers was more of an act.

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger Autumn said...

Oh no...sigh. I guess it will still be a while (or never) for our lifestyle to be accepted. I suppose people have a hard time accepting that there is a line between abuse and consent. I think some see it as a "slippery slope" maybe? Who knows!

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have checked Dr. Phil's website and there are details regarding the upcoming shows, but I don't see anything about that. Perhaps you could include a link to the commercials?

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger PK said...

He certainly seem to believe he's right in the commercial, I don't know what she said in the show. I'll be listening carefully tomorrow.

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger PK said...

I really kinda like Dr. Phil - but on this I think we could tell him a lot, not that he'd listen.

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm sure I'll post something about it. But you can probably guess the what it will show without seeing it. Dr. Phil will tell the husband he's dead wrong - which is the truth if there is no consent. But he won't dare address our lifestyle because he'd be just as against it.

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger PK said...

You're right, it sounds like abuse and we're ALL against abuse. But some of my vanilla friends will see this crap and think that's what DD is and THAT will piss me off.

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger PK said...

If the world were full of sane reasonable people we'd all be fine. No one would make a blanket statement that men should spank their wives because many idiots would take it as permission to be abusive. But those of us lucky enough to be with normal, sane, loving men know it can work wonders.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger PK said...

I agree Autumn, I've often worried about very young couples who try to start out with dd. I worry that without maturity on both sides it really could become abusive. I find it very interesting the many of us didn't ask for this until our 40's and beyond. By then we know we can trust the men we're asking.

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm not good at this, but I'll go look. I know it's part of his new season and the show and on my DVR it list the title as "I spanked my wife with a wooden spoon, and she needs to repent." Boy this husband sounds like a real joy.

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger Erica said...

Yeah, I really was trying to represent us. But he pretty much dropped the ball -- asked a woman in the audience what SHE thought (because he saw this shocked look on her face) and she said, "I think she's sick!" I said, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger PK said...

I agree completely.

 
At 11:39 PM, Blogger grace said...

The website doesn't say anything about this episode! I wonder why? Guess I'll watch and see!

 
At 5:08 AM, Blogger dolly bag said...

UK lurker, Ami wonder what Jeremy Kyle would have to say, or if he would do a dd based show as one of his specials, probably not.

 
At 6:45 AM, Blogger PK said...

Don't know I have it set to tape. We'll see.

 
At 6:46 AM, Blogger PK said...

If you do see anything on your stations be sure to tell us about it.

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

I'm not going to watch it because I am sure I will just get upset. My stomach will churn and I will not be able to let it go!
He is a sensationalist. I have watched him in the past but have not in many years. He always has extreme people on his shows now.

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger Hermione said...

I'll have to check our listings and see when it's on here. The linked article in your post had two different dates - next week and the week after - so it may not show up on our PVR yet. I'm sure it will be sensational and not at all DD related (in the true sense).

Hugs,
Hermione

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger PK said...

I understand your feelings. But I want to hear what is said. It doesn't come on until 9 tonight.

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger PK said...

I dont' think it will be dd related at all - but people will think that's what it's about and that is really annoying.

 

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