Sunday, September 21, 2014

I heard from Nick

Nick emailed me Friday. I was getting a little worried that he was going to let it ‘slip his mind’. But I pretty much knew he’s wait until Friday when he has a little more time to think about what he wanted to say.

I was really happy to get it. It didn’t address anything specifically, it just let me know he was willing to hear more and that was really what I needed – an opening. Answering is going to take me a little while. I honestly think I’m beginning to see how confusing it must be for men, especially those who have not been life long spankos. I realize I’ve been asking, back when I was asking, for him to do the following:

Meet my mental and emotional needs, the ones that even I don’t really understand and please just do it only when I want you to, and not when I’m not in the mood and be consistent unless I don’t want you to be and then back off, but of course I won’t tell you when this is and you need to spank hard, unless it’s hurting and then you’ll need to back off a little and …

You see, I am starting to understand it from his side.

There are things I need him to do for that will help me enormously mentally and emotionally. Part of me does feel guilty asking – I know what a jewel I have with Nick, this man cooks and cleans and does laundry. He does all the pool and yard work and takes care of the cars, he sees that all the bills are paid and often helps out at his parents. He edits my books and warms my back at night – and now I’m asking him to do more.

I guess this only goes to prove to me that Nick really does love me – he didn’t marry me for my cooking or cleaning skills or my talents in bed (although I have improved in the bedroom department). He did get a good mother for his kids, but he couldn’t have known that at the beginning. I guess the man just loved me.

I’m happy and he’s so willing to hear what I have to say and I hope my writing skills are going to be good enough to explain in a concise manner. He is a man of few words and I don’t what to drown him in mind. Wish me luck and I’ll let you know what’s happening.

* I wrote an answer to his email today, but I haven't sent it yet. I want to do a little more polishing - and yeah, there are too many words, but I'm in no rush. He can take his time. 

Written by PK at 6:00 PM

28 comments

28 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Blogger Cat said...

So very happy for you PK...I am sure you will write a perfect answer to Nick! You do have a gem but then...so does he. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Hugs and Blessings...
Cat

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger River Wild said...

How awesome that he responded! I totally feel ya on the editing your response. Sometimes I will go over something I write for my husband 3 or 4 times before I'm ready for him to read it :-)

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Hi PK, at last you two are talking. Thank heavens for that. Now sweetie, just spill the rest and then let him help you get sorted. I am so glad that he responded, don't slip now push on with it all. Lots of luck and love Jan xx

 
At 4:48 AM, Blogger Roz said...

I'm so glad Nick replied and happy for you PK. You sure have a wonderful man there :) You will find the words ... from your heart.

Hugs
Roz

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger abby said...

I am happy for you...you and Nick have a wonderful marriage and keep working on improving it.
hugs abby

 
At 7:41 AM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

I am glad you are both talking...you are both lucky to have each other...I have no doubt you will find the right words :-) Hugs

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Meredith Malloy said...

PK,
Keep talking and writing. He is listening.
Meredith

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith said...

I know you'll work it out somehow - give and take on both sides. I love your explanation, because it is exactly the way I feel, but I don't have your expectations of Ray - he just doesn't have it in him and it's not fair that he change at this stage of life.
Can't wait to see what happens.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger ronnie said...

I agree with SG, you will work it out I know. He's listening so keep talking.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Faerie Wings said...

It really is hard to explain to them what we want when we don't allows know ourselves. I have faith in you that you will figure it out and explain it to him in a way you both will understand. It may take more than one email, but then again, ongoing communication is a very good thing.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger Katie said...

WONDERFUL news PK! :) You and Nick will figure out what will work out for the two of you. You have years of love to go along with it all. That is very special. :) I'm happy for you. Let us know how things go. Many hugs,

<3 Katie

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks Cat, it's been a great weekend, hearing from Nick made it better.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger PK said...

I do soooo much better writing than talking - I can never say want I want to about things that are really important to me. I often end up crying, not from sadness, but because it can be so emotional for me. Writing is way better for me.

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks Jan, I know you've encouraged me to talk more than once. I guess this will lead to that.

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger PK said...

Roz, I have a great man for sure. He's special.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger PK said...

Abby, thirty-one years together and we're still close, that's special.

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger PK said...

As long as I can take my time and write it I can usually do pretty well.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger PK said...

Bless his heart, he does seem to be listening.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger PK said...

I understand that too - I don't want to bug Nick, but since I honesty think we can both be happier I'm going to keep trying.

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger PK said...

I do wonder if there will come a time I truly need to stop bothering him - but not yet.

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger PK said...

Yep, it was easier to ask for things, when I felt I knew what I wanted. Now I don't always know, but I still have needs.

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks Katie, you know I'll come tell you all what's going on.

 
At 10:07 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

"Meet my mental and emotional needs, the ones that even I don’t really understand and please just do it only when I want you to, and not when I’m not in the mood and be consistent unless I don’t want you to be and then back off, but of course I won’t tell you when this is and you need to spank hard, unless it’s hurting and then you’ll need to back off a little and …"

I couldn't have said it better myself, PK. When we are able to look at it subjectively, we realize that what we're really asking for is a mind reader! It's so easy to get frustrated--it's good that you can take a step back and realize how amazing your man is :)

 
At 11:09 PM, Blogger PK said...

Autumn, he's the best. I know he has to be confused by everything, but he willing to listen. I could never ask for more than that.

 
At 6:26 AM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

I am soooo glad for you that Nick has replied to your email. Just keep that dialogue going. I bet you've written a really good reply to his, but please PK, don't turn him into a 'Tom'. I do not like Tom. (Which goes to show what an excellent writer you are!)

It's like walking a fine line, isn't it? Dan is digging in his heels yet again, and I really begin to wonder if it's all worth it at times.

Personally, I think Nick is marvellous. What a gem - cleaning, cooking, laundry?! Good grief you are one lucky woman.

Many hugs
Ami

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger George K said...

PK....I look forward to hearing all about Nick's response. I expect your email was very well received. I think y'all are a super couple!

George

 
At 8:27 PM, Blogger PK said...

Oh he really is a gem and I do know it. I don't understand you not liking Tom - he's a real doll, but nothing like Nick. Nick is way better that Tom.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks George, it's funny but I remember when we got engaged several different people told us what a cute old couple we'd make - it seemed like such a strange thing to say to a young couple, but I think it's going to be true.

 

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