Sunday, March 10, 2013

Hold my hand as I freak out please


I am asking for all my friends to send protective prayers for Mollie this week.  Later today my baby daughter, my little girl, my very heart, is boarding a plane to fly alone to the evil, scary, worrisome ‘big city’ to spend some time with her big brother.  Do you know what this does to a mother?  Heck, I’m scared by the idea of flying alone and of being in a big city, but the idea doesn’t seem to bother her at all. She assures me she can navigate the subways to his apartment alone, but thankfully, LJ and Collin have agreed to meet her at the airport this first time.  This mades me feel better as I picture my beautiful, blonde daughter sitting on the subway, little suitcase by her side and speaking with her beautiful southern accent.  We could just have her wear a sign saying: I’m a beautiful, naïve, little southern girl – please take advantage of me.

I’m finding this all very difficult.  Who told them they were allowed to grow up and have an adult relationship anyway?  He should still be mad at her for throwing sand in his hair!  Shouldn’t she still be upset about his condescending ways and remember how angry she was when he once told her, “My, aren’t you astute?”  I tried to explain that being ‘astute’ was a good thing she told me, “Not the way he said it!”

In addition to my worries about her safety, there is that nagging worry all parents have when their adult offspring began to communicate – that fear of which nursing home they’re contemplating and how soon will they try to rail road us there.  

Taking a deep breath here...



To keep me occupied this week I'll be answering the question you've asked so far.  Please keep asking, this might keep my mind occupied.

Written by PK at 5:00 PM

40 comments

40 Comments:

At 4:25 AM, Blogger beanpoleuk said...

Yes it is not easy for you but at some stage you have to let go of it.
My (older but shorter)little sister and I used to fight over everything until she got married.....
Now we are dclose in thoughts and feelings, however we respected our father who insisted until a year before his death that he would never go into residential care. However on his wife's death, he told me, my sister and her son separately (on different days without the others there) that he could not cope and needed to go into a home.

My mother (who is still alive and healthy in her mid 90s) on the other hand is insistent she will never go into a home. We have not and will not try to persuade her to do anything unless it is clear that she cannot cope on her own.

IMO if you make clear to your son and daughter what you want, then you should be able to stay out of a home for a long time to come.....

 
At 4:46 AM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Oh PK , I feel for you. I am hopelessly protective of my boys, ahem men (30 and 24), I worry about every little thing. They both live away from home although the youngest appears several times a week for food or washing or a chat. The eldest lives away :( When our youngest flew to America for a holiday to stay with a friend I nearly had a flipping breakdown, You will survive and more importantly Molly will have a wonderful time and be back before you know it. Enjoy the peace, love Janxxx

 
At 6:21 AM, Blogger Roz said...

Awe PK, I understand your worry as a Mom. Mollie will be fine, she'll have LJ looking out for and will be back before you know it.

Hang in there!

Hugs,
Roz

 
At 6:23 AM, Blogger Bas said...

Oh PK, let's just hope she doesn't meet a handsome New York Guy.
Imagine both your kids living in new York.
You would have to go visiting there many times, and each time in the Subway, it would feel like you were wearing a sign that says: I’m a beautiful, naïve, little southern mum – please take advantage of me.
You would have to ask Nick to accompany you each time and keep his Cane ready to defend you.

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger abby said...

LOL..I can so identify with you....breathe and have faith. Plus, it is truly a blessing when siblings are close as adults...although I do wonder what they are planning for me!
hugs abby

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Paul said...

PK,
you and Nick have done an excellent job of raising your children, you really have no cause to worry, but I have no doubt you will.
As for being railroaded into a home, have you forgotten you're a teacher.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

Okay I am still cracking up with what Bas said.

Ahem...Now remember she is going to visit her brother. I am certain he will be more vigilant than you would be concerning her safety. She will have a wonderful time. WE want to hold them back with us but.....it is not a good thing. I know- take my own advice- right?

Just keep telling them the conditions upon when you would ever consider assisted living. You could insist you will haunt them if they ever disregard your wishes.

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger Emi Jones said...

PK! Thoughts and Prayers to you and your Mollie.
Just this year my "baby" got a drivers license and is already picking out her classes for her Senior Year of School.. I could just cry... talks of moving out and going to college have me in a tail spin. She wants to go to college weekend visits with my niece as it is... I'm terrified what will go on at those!

((HUGS)) to you! I'm sure she will be fine and she has good company there.

Oh and the comment about the nursing homes and children talking? AK.. My Husband and I have been talking about that as well.. I don't even WANT to go there! I'm sure you are no where near anything like that to worry about :)
It is a crazy thought though... I can't imagine my girls having an adult relationship one day, same for my boys (who are only 6 months old) but.. yikes!

Hang in there, she'll be back before you know it :)

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Sue said...

No one ever tells us, when they lay those precious little ones in our arms for the first time, that our job is to raise an adult. It sounds as if that is what you have done, so congratulations! Mine are both in their 30s, and so far, I have not outgrown my worrying. But I don't seem to die from it either.

hugs, swan

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger sunnygirl said...

You are too funny. Molly will be fine and will have a great time. Her big brother is not going to let anything happen to her.

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger ians mrs said...

I know how hard it is, PK. We allow our teenager to fly (with a chaperone the airline provides to visit her siblings) into large cities. She has done it many times, and it makes her feel very worldly.
Mollie will have a blast.
hugs
lillie

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

I am sure Mollie's big brother will protect her. :-) Though I understand a mom's worry is always present. She will be fine...and so will you. I will be thinking of you both. Hugs, Terps :-)

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Florida Dom said...

PK: The fact she is ready to go to the big city by herself is a credit to the way you have raised her. Sure, it is difficult to see them fly away but you raised them to have strong wings. And maybe someday instead of moving you into a nursing home, they will invite you to live with them. That is what my sister is doing with our 94-year-old mother. You should be proud of them.

FD

FD

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Cat said...

Hey PK, I very much understand your worry as a Mom but Mollie will be fine. She not only will have LJ looking out for her but has an additional brother now. I'm sure that LJ and Colin will keep her safe.

Adult children communicating can be scary but I have faith that you can handle them. ;)

Questions...hmmm...as long as Mollie is the subject, how would you react if you found out Mollie was in a DD relationship?

Sending lots of protective prayers and energy for Mollie and both her big brothers.

Blessings,
Cat

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Cat said...

ROFLMBO Bas! Great answers!!!

 
At 2:04 PM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

I was only just sixteen when I got on an aeroplane and flew to Toronto all by myself to stay with friends for the three months. Hmmmm. I was fine, but I did meet a very handsome Dutch guy seven years older than me! It wasn't you on holiday too was it Bas? Did you have an old MG?! LOL!

Seriously, she will be fine. Our son is like a chained Doberman with his sister - very protective. Still having trouble coming to terms with her having a husband!

Hugs,

Ami

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Christina said...

Reaching south from Canada to hold your hand. :-)

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger Bas said...

No, no, Mr Starman. I'm innocent. I swear that I never was in Toronto. And no, never had an MG.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger PK said...

Beanpoleuk.
Mom always said she'd go anywhere she could have here own room, own TV and own bath. But she was able to always stay home. Dad went to assisted living with my promise if he really didn't like it he could come home and we'd hire help. He ended up finding a nice lady friend and that made the place tolerable.

I'm planning on staying home forever - fingers crossed.

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger PK said...

I am more than pleased with the way my kids have turned out - I'd be happier if they could both live closer. LJ is several states away, don't know where Mollie will end up, but she says she'd like to be fairly close.

I know you must have been frantic to have one of yours fly overseas.

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger PK said...

Roz,
I know you're right and I'm sure she'll have a ball.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger PK said...

Bas!
Bite you tongue! I can't lose both my children to yankee land! And it I do, I'm not going up, they will have to come see me.

Now Cat, don't egg him on.

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger PK said...

Abby,
I am really glad that they want to spend time with each other. But I wish is was a close by visit.

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger PK said...

Paul,
She's be fine - and yes, I plan to stay in my home.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger PK said...

Minelle,
I've never thought of LJ as terrible overprotective of Mollie, but he's had little reason to be. He's been go pretty much since she was about 12.

 
At 8:18 PM, Blogger PK said...

Emi,
How cool! You have little ones! I enjoyed that so much, but I love them being grown and having some time for Nick and me too. It's should be a while before a home. Nicks parents are still living fine on their own at 88 and 91!

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger PK said...

Sue,
I know from my mom that the worrying continues for life. It's one of those jobs, that if you do it right you're one day out of a job.

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger PK said...

Sunny,
Well that's what I keep telling myself anyway. LOL!

 
At 8:28 PM, Blogger PK said...

Lillie,
I know Mollie wants the experience and I am pretty sure LJ will continue to live in NYC most of his life, so one day this will be a common trip for her.

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger PK said...

Terps,
Maybe some day she will be my guide on how to get around visiting LJ.

 
At 8:30 PM, Blogger PK said...

I hope we never have to move in with her - but want a joy it would be if she were willing when the time came.

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger PK said...

Cat,
That's true and Mollie adores Colin!

Love your question! I'll put it with my list to answer this week. I have given that one some thought.

 
At 8:34 PM, Blogger PK said...

Christina,
Thanks I just need a little help to steady me.

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger Malcolm said...

"Not the way he said it!"

Lol! I think she can probably take care of herself.

 
At 11:09 PM, Blogger PK said...

Malcolm,
I agree, he was right - she is very astute!

 
At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our job in life is to raise caring, loving, responsible citizens. You've done a great service to this world in which we live. They are fine and you will be too. Having said that,I never stop worrying about my children,their spouses, grands and soon to be great grand baby. Prayers take so long at nightI sometimes fall asleep before finishing.

Patty

 
At 11:36 PM, Blogger Belle L said...

Saying a prayer...Belle L.

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger PK said...

Ami,
Not sure how I feel about the handsome Dutch guy - even if it was someone as nice as Bas. Colin just went on facebook to tell me that they are both my kids are napping peacefully at the moment! LOL!

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger PK said...

I know you're right Patty,
I remember Mom telling me that she longed for the day I would be grown as she could stop worrying. It never came, like you (and me) she simply kept adding people to love and worry and pray about.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks Belle!

 

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