I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Cane stripes, madness and good Sunny advice


Before you read this, which, after I wrote it came off sounding so sad at the beginning – please know that I am happy and content.  My only ‘problem’ is sitting on a slightly sore bottom that is sporting stupid cane stripes… but I’m getting ahead of the story.

How long do you have to be married? How long to you have to do TTWD?  How many years do you have to blog about it all before you understand the person you married and put your trust in them? I can’t answer those questions because I obviously don’t know the answer.  Let’s just say that the answer is longer than I’ve been doing any of it.

I gained weight this week.   I know I’ve talked as much about weight here as I do spanking.  It should have been a problem I put behind me long ago, but it still there.  I can honestly say that I don’t think the way I look bothers Nick in the least.  Its never seemed to – but when the weight depresses me, when my knees hurt, when I have to take BP medicine, when we know I’m pre-diabetic, I know those things bother him a great deal and of course they bother me too.

My feelings were hurt some Friday.  Nick often emails after he sees what I weigh, sometimes congratulation, sometime a threat of what’s to come, but usually an email.  I didn’t get one and I blamed it on March Madness (For some that might mean basketball, for me it’s being pissed that the stupid games are taking my shows off TV and contributed to my feelings of being ignored by my husband.)

So he’d didn’t mention the weight Friday evening, never mentioned going out to eat as we usually do, fixed him some supper and watched TV.  Although he never suspected, I was hurt and I bitched to a few friends on line about it.

Despite all I woke in a pretty good mood Saturday morning after some strange dreams.  I told one to Nick after breakfast (my mom said never tell a dream before breakfast or it will come true).  In it, I was driving along a country road when suddenly the road ended and the car flew off a high cliff.  No way to go back – flying through the air to a certain death.  But when the car landed I was fine and walked away.

Later that morning after putting away some laundry (yes I really did!) I was reaching for my computer when Nick stopped me.  He told me to come back to the bedroom for some dream interpretation.  He said the thought that flying over the cliff might have been the way my weigh flew over a number we didn’t want to ever see again, didn’t creep over, mind you – it flew over! He asked me if I’d like to weigh again to see was it was that morning – so dangerous, not that I thought it had gone up any, but I always weigh in the nude and at that moment I felt it was important to try and keep my pants on.

That part was a battle I’d lose anyway so I undressed and weigh again.  I was down over a pound from the day before (I hate our scales, they are so screwy) and he said that was better, but not to bother dressing again. 

It was a hard spanking – not much warm up, and very hard.  It hurt and I didn’t like it – and that’s not a complaint, just a simple fact.  It did help, and it was what I needed.  And maybe the biggest part was knowing he still wasn’t giving up on me despite the fact that I seem to be making little headway and wasn’t giving it my best effort. 

He just had to finish off with that stupid cane!  If he wants to use that hateful thing he’s going to need to change sides half way through – I’m striped like a zebra on one side while the other is unscathed.  But I know what took away most of the sting, it was what he said afterward. He said, “Do you know how much I love you?” It made me stop and realize that yes I do know, and that is what I need to be thinking about as the best incentive for getting healthier. 

I was pretty sure the spanking was over, but I tried a few distracting moves anyway and they seemed to take.  A few minutes later Nick said, “This wasn’t actually my plan.” To which I replied, “Things happen.” Many times I’ve been the one who didn’t want a discipline/reminder/motivational/warning spanking followed immediately by sex, but somehow it just seemed right – I sure hope Nick didn’t mind, he didn’t seem to.

I’m learning – slowly, but I’m learning. Learning to wait on Nick, to trust that he isn’t giving up, learning that I have to take better care of myself – and learning to listen to Sunnygirl who says that damn cane needs to be broken or lost forever, smart woman.

35 comments:

  1. Your man is a saint, he is growing into a good motivator for you.
    Those simple words "you know how much I love you" say it all. I think he has your number PK it looks like like he is stepping up the game.

    Bob

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    Replies
    1. Bob,
      I know if I lose the weight, I have to do it for myself and no one else. But I've never been able to do it for myself - I would like to make him proud of my effects. For me that will be a good motivator.

      Delete
  2. Hi PK, I'm glad Nick came through for you and gave you what you needed and that it helped. I'm sorry you were left feeling hurt earlier though.

    It sounds as though you had a wonderful connection and I love what he said to you. Nick isn't giving up, keep trusting that and use his love as your motivation.

    You should definitely listen to Sunny. Cane's are evil.

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure why I let myself get in these moods. One question from me might have cleared everything up. But I have a lot of my mom in me, often she would rather sit and be mad than to come out and say what she needed.

      Delete
  3. Hi PK, I agree with Sunny, lose the cane. Your Nick does seem to know exactly what you need though, love Jan.xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jan,
      He does seem to know. Loosing the cane sounds good, but I have a feeling it would truly backfire on me.

      Delete
  4. I am so happy for you my dear. It is wonderful when they say those few little words isn't it? We know it in our hearts...but wow, isn't it nice hear them?
    Nick does know what you need! However I am with Sunny...find a way to lose the cane!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Minelle,
      I know for a fact that I often confuse my sweet husband. I wish his default setting was 'spank and ask questions later'. Sometimes he still hesitates, but we are still doing better and better.

      And about the cane, do cats eat bamboo?

      Delete
  5. PK,
    take advice from an old friend, don't lose the cane, unless, that is, you want something worse.
    Yes the cane is evil, but it's a damn fine motivator.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul,
      Those that have truly felt the bite of a substantial cane might laugh at the little ones we have, but geeze they hurt. I know you're right, he would find something worse.

      Delete
  6. Glad everything is resolved. I give good advice - you should take it.

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    Replies
    1. Sunny,
      When I told Nick of your advice he did mention that we have two, he says he'll be happy to send one to you husband. Then he made a ridiculous suggestion that I do something during the week to see that the cane doesn't need to come out. Men just think funny.

      Delete
  7. So happy for you PK but have to agree with everyone else...Sunny gave very good advice...lose that blasted thing! ;)

    Blessings,
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cat,
      But then the dowel rod or the bamboo backscratcher comes out and I'll need to flee for my life.

      Delete
  8. Sunny gives valuable advice, but it would not help.
    Ronnie has those things on stock.
    She would just send Nick a stronger cane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bas,
      But Ronnie's my friend - wait, she did send the first two.

      *Note to Ronnie, we've moved.

      Delete
  9. The spanking is too pleasureable. You need the cane to follow the weight programme otherwise there is no incentive.

    I am rewarded with the leather strap if I lose weight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michael,
      I know that's what Nick is thinking. One of my favorites is the dogging bat. Now that would be a great reward.

      Delete
  10. Things can go missing, and never be seen again......just saying.
    On the other hand, happy to hear your hubby is there with what you need.
    hugs
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lillie,
      He seems to put it back in exactly the same place every time - now should it ever be left just lying around...

      Delete
  11. Sounds like everything worked out just like it was suppose to. Patience is not something I'm good at, but it seems it was needed in this case.

    Sitting on a sore butt? Not so bad....

    HUGS!
    grace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grace,
      Sitting on a sore butt makes everything better. Patience isn't one of my strong suits either.

      Delete
  12. I actually think this is lovely PK. Nick knew just what you needed as motivation. I have horrid, horrid memories of the cane at school across my hands, so it fills me with dread, and I echo all the rest when I say lose it! But then, it would mainly be the marks I would dread, because that would mean no swimming, which is part of my exercise regime. I do respect you and think you are very brave though!

    Now then Miss, what are these 'slimming aides' you have told me about!!!

    Sore butts are quite pleasant I have found.....

    Many hugs Sweetie

    Ami

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    Replies
    1. Ami,
      The cane was never used over here - it was a paddle. But misbehave on a hot summer evening and see how fast a switch could be produced by a parent. OUCH and the stripes remained evident.

      For me 'slimming aids' would be to stop snacking at every turn and get my butt out of my recliner and exercise more.

      Delete
  13. I was caned tonight myself so when I say I feel for you, I really do! Lol. I'm glad he followed through on it though, as much as you may have disliked it at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do appreciate his follow through. And he doesn't go over board with the cane, but I hate even a little of it.

      Delete
  14. Nick knew what you wanted. Good for him.

    Personally I wouldn't take SG's advice this time, Nick would just ask me to send him another one:) The cane is a great motivator. I can vouch for that.

    Let's hope the dogging bat comes out this week.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on Ronnie, if I got the nerve up to get rid of it, you wouldn't send him another would you? I'm working for the dogging bat!!

      Delete
  15. Sounds like he knew just what you needed, which is great! Ive never felt the cane, but ive always been curious. Im thinking maybe I should keep that curiosity to myself? :)

    As for the weight loss, i know this sounds so cliche, but do you drink a lot of water throughout the day? I just noticed recently that it honestly makes a huge difference! Good luck, i know its a pain, im in the same boat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kenzie,
      The cane is definitely something that should only be used in fantasy land, never in real life.

      I don't mind the reminder at all - I really do need to drink more water. I LOVE soft drinks and while I've cut way back on them I haven't been drinking the water I should. I'm going to try to start back.

      Delete
  16. pssst, send them over to me. I actually LIKE the cane. BIKSS had a go with a bungee cord today. His way of experimenting. I didn't like it. especially not since it was the first time and i was tied down to the bed. Tsk.

    so the moral of the story - it could be worse.

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    Replies
    1. Fondles,
      You are most welcomed to them. The bungee cord and the loopy johnny are probably even worse, but Nick doesn't know about them thank goodness. And he doesn't bother to read comments, LOL!

      Delete
  17. Ouch, I'm so happy we don't have a cane. Maybe you should consider weighing in after Sunday lunch and blaming the weight gain on the wonderful cook, lol. Okay, maybe that's not such a great idea, I just couldn't resist it though :)

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    Replies
    1. LOL! Don't think for one minute that I haven't blamed her completely! Some how, I don't think he'll ever hold her responsible!

      Delete
  18. Oh, PK, he does love you so! :-) And don't worry I won't be sending you any canes...perhaps a bon fire would help make them disappear... :-) Hugs

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